‘It’s just a simple question, Julian.’
‘A simple question, with a complicated answer. Don’t over analyse everything. Fuck, Evangeline can’t you just live in the moment?’
It was Eva’s turn to look away. Could she live in the moment? Yes, of course she could. Did she want to? Erm, she wasn’t sure. Maybe she should just go with it, and have the time of her life. Live it up with a billionaire Sex God for three hundred and sixty-five days. But what would happen at the end of the year? Would she be able to give him up?
‘Why do you do this?’
‘Because I can. Carpe diem, Evangeline. And fuck anyone who gets in your way.’
‘Anyone?’
Julian finally looked at her, indignant. ‘An-y-one.’
Eva’s stomach churned and she dropped her head into her hands. Julian Harte was a lot of things, from impressively intelligent to breathtakingly beautiful, but she’d never believed he was an asshole. Even now, she wasn’t sure. She knew what he was saying. He was honest, and for once he put the games aside. But she didn’t believe him. It was all just words, a habit, a choice. She didn’t believe it was who he really was. She snorted and looked at the ground. It was just a pity that he’d built such a high wall, no one might ever get to see the real Julian.
‘So how does this work?’ Eva said, her tone resonated a confidence she didn’t feel.
Julian tilted his head and pressed his lips firmly together until they made a single, straight red line. He was irritated, that was obvious. But Eva admired his ability to keep his cool, outwardly at least.
‘A pointless question,’ he said sharply. ‘You seem to have decided all the answers already, Ms Andrews.’
‘Well, I know how this works, if that’s what you’re implying?’ Eva snapped revealing her frustration much more than she wanted to.
Julian’s eyes narrowed. ‘Enlighten me.’
Eva thought of lots of ways to tell him what she knew, but she stumbled over her words and struggled to form full sentences. The last thing she wanted to do was hand him an ill-phrased moan that he could pick holes in. But she couldn’t hold it in any longer and she just hoped her aching brain managed to blurt it in some sort of sensical order.
‘You pick a girl at the ball every year; someone you like. You use her for the year, and then pick someone new next year.’
There! She’d said it. Not quite the iron-clad argument she was hoping for, but her point was made none-the-less. She took a huge breath as if her lungs had been completely emptied of air. She had no idea how he would react, and she felt like a stampede of wild bores had just charged through her stomach. She certainly wasn’t expecting him to laugh. But his amusement was far from a relief; she didn’t find anything about his escapades remotely amusing - quite the opposite, actually.
‘Ms Andrews, you under estimate me - how disappointing. No one girl has ever held my attention for an entire year before.’
Christ, was he serious?
Julian ran a lazy hand over his hair. His blatant refusal to even attempt to defend his chivalrous lifestyle was infuriating, but undeniably hot. She was doing it again. She was losing herself in his eyes and things that were important just seconds ago, seemed trivial compared to how much she wanted him. Eva crossed her legs and tried to ignore the pulsing between them. She looked at the ground and pulled herself together- literally. She overlapped the light material of her oversized shirt and pulled it tight against her skin, hoping to banish the breeze from around her body. Her skin felt cold to the touch but the heat of her temper kept her warm on the inside.
‘So am I just a name on a long list?’ Eva asked quietly, embarrassed to state the obvious.
‘List? Jesus Evangeline…do I look like I care about names and numbers?’
Okay, so maybe a spread sheet wasn’t his style but he must have had some idea of all his past conquests.
‘I’m not that girl, Julian.’
‘What girl?’
‘You know, someone who is flattered because someone like you even looks in their direction.’
Julian turned to face her for the first time. He slipped his hand between her thighs and she instinctively tightened them around his hand, trying not to let her face reveal how much she enjoyed his touch.
‘Not that girl. Really? Then why are you soaking wet?’
There was nothing she could say. Maybe he really did know her better than she knew herself.
‘I know what I want. I always do, I want you.’
‘And what about when you want other girls?’
‘I haven’t mentioned other girls, Evangeline. It’s you who keeps bringing them up.’
‘Well yeah. I don’t want to share you with half the girls in work.’
‘Greedy, aren’t you,’ Julian smirked.
‘Julian stop it. I’m serious. I don’t know if I can get past all this crap. And if I can, then I don’t just want the title. I really do want to be the one. The one and only…’
Julian pulled a face Eva hadn’t seen before. An odd mix of amusement and disdain dotted across his brow.
‘You know the rules, Evangeline.’
‘But they’re your rules, you said yourself you can change them if you want to. You just don’t want to.’
Eva wanted him to argue back, but he didn’t. She wanted him to tell her it would all be fine, but he didn’t. He just watched her intensely. She knew the drill, she had no right to act precious now. But she couldn’t help it. She wanted him. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anyone in her life, ever. But the game wasn’t over. She could see that now. Julian would never stop playing; he couldn’t, even if he wanted to. It was him, he was the game.
Julian leaned closer and Eva closed her eyes and waited for him to kiss her. She waited and waited but his lips didn’t touch hers.
‘Let’s go,’ Julian said softly, and Eva wasn’t sure if it was a suggestion or an order.
Her eyes shot open and pleaded with him for an explanation.
‘I’m taking you home.’
‘What? Why?’
‘You need space to think. I’m not pushing you into something you don’t one hundred percent want. I’m offering you this opportunity, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to take it or not. But I won’t wait forever for an answer. I’ll expect your decision first thing Monday morning.’
Whoa! What the hell just happened? She suddenly felt like she was spinning in circles. She didn’t want to have to make this decision. She couldn’t. She wasn’t strong enough. Why did he always have to make everything so hard?
‘You say you don’t know who you are, but it’s only because you won’t let yourself be who you want to be. What a pity,’ Julian said.
Eva’s jaw dropped, and anger rippled across her body like strong cross currents in an ocean of confusion. Was he already assuming what her decision would be? How dare he?
She took three or four sharp, short breaths to calm herself, and stood up. The game, she reminded herself. She’d start her decision making right now. It was time to play. She placed one leg either side of his ankles and began unbuttoning her shirt.
‘One last fuck, Mr Doe,’ she said, trembling from the rush of adrenalin as she forced herself to be confident.
Julian’s eyes followed her fingers on the buttons, and he made a deep throated groan of approval. ‘Touché, Ms Andrews. Touché.’
Chapter 43
Sunday was the strangest day. Julian had driven Eva back to her apartment himself. He’d given all his staff the weekend off, including Mrs Cartwright. Who, much to Eva’s disappointment, had left the house before she had a chance to say goodbye.
Julian parked his car near the main entrance to Eva’s apartment complex and Eva had felt obliged to invite him in. She secretly didn’t want their alone time to end. She’d tried to hide her disappointment when he declined and said his goodbyes while remaining behind the wheel. He did lean across to kiss her cheek for a split second, but his affection didn’t e
xtend further.
She was still wearing his shirt coupled with a pair of never-worn-before jodhpurs that Julian had found in the wardrobe of one of the many spare bedrooms. She wondered if they’d been bought as a gift for one of his past lovers but she didn’t dare ask. She’d offered to wash and return his shirt, and he’d thanked her and made an effort to hide his laughing. And that was it; neither of them said another word. Julian waited until she stepped inside, but before she had time to turn around and wave goodbye, he’d driven away.
She’d spent the rest of the afternoon opening and closing the fridge. She was hungry but not able to eat. She’d typed out a couple of emails to Julian but hadn’t hit send. She’d text Shelly repeatedly but hadn’t gotten a reply. She’d been expecting contact from Nathan but even he appeared to be ignoring her. She felt so alone. Time ticked by so slowly, that at one point, she’d had her suspicions it was going backwards.
She woke up with a creak in her neck from falling asleep awkwardly on the sitting room couch, and although the thought of Monday morning made her feel sick, she was just glad it wasn’t the world’s longest Sunday anymore.
The office was quieter than usual. Maybe a lot of people had taken the day off to nurse their lingering hangovers, she decided. She was sorry she hadn’t thought to do the same. Nathan wasn’t at his desk and she breathed a sigh of relief. Mia was missing too and Eva began to feel the sense of foreboding in her gut ease just a fraction. Maybe today wouldn’t be quite the horror show she’d built it up to be in her head. None the less, it was a test of her endurance. Making it to Julian’s office seemed like a painstaking hike up Everest, rather than just six floors in the lift.
The people that were there whispered as she passed their desks, some even pointed. No one overly tried to hide that they were gossiping. She couldn’t blame them, not really. She knew if she was in their position, she’d be fishing for all the juicy information too. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it; in fact it was rather nice to suddenly have a status. She wasn’t a nobody anymore. She just wished her status wasn’t synonymous with office scandal. She’d had eleven friend requests on Facebook from names she recognised from internal emails, and someone had even tweeted a picture of her mask left behind on stage with the caption ‘the new it girl has expensive taste’. Eva knew it was obviously a reference to the pricy champagne her mask advertised. She wanted to defend herself and explain that elaborate taste, and outlandishly expensive beverages weren’t really her, but she decided against arguing her case in one hundred and forty characters on the internet.
Shelly didn’t look up from stapling some paper when Eva approached her desk. Eva knew they weren’t documents of any consequence, like Shelly tried to pretend - she’d stapled the same corner at least five times. Eva’s heart felt like it had been pulled out of her chest and thrown into a washing machine on spin cycle. Was this how it would be from now on? They’d practiced awkwardly-pretending-not-to-see-each-other because it was easier than actually talking about the situation. Eva didn’t find it easier. She hated it. Eva wondered if she should just apologise and get it over with. She just wasn’t sure what she was saying sorry for. It wasn’t as if she’d stolen Julian. Shelly knew the score. She’d chosen to play the game. Okay, so there were no instructions and the Rulebook seemed ever changing, but that was Julian - he was unpredictable, and he always came out the winner. Julian’s mood was the dice. And it was lucky for Eva she was throwing sixes, and she reminded herself of that as she reached Shelly’s desk.
‘Mr Doe will see you now,’ Shelly said, looking up, not quite crying but definite tears streaked across her pale blue eyes.
‘Seriously?’ This is how we’re doing it? Mr Doe?’
Shelly put down the pen she had taken to chewing. ‘Let’s be professional, if nothing else, okay?’
Okay? Okay? No it wasn’t fucking okay. They were friends, weren’t they? What’s that cliché people always said? Don’t let a man fuck up your friendship, or something like that - Eva tried not to cringe thinking of the literal meaning.
‘Eva, you pissed off without even saying goodbye. I know you were caught up in the moment and all, but even he came back down. You didn’t even bother.’
Eva felt like she had just been slapped in the face. Is that really what people thought. That Julian was mannerly and thanked his guests for coming, but she was a stuck up bitch who wouldn’t be arsed with the little people? Why didn’t he explain? Had he done it on purpose?
‘Shelly it wasn’t like that. I fell asleep. I didn’t even know he was gone.’
‘Sure,’ Shelly said, staring at her blank computer screen.
‘No seriously, please believe me. I know you’re angry I’ve taken Julian. But it’s not like that. That’s why I’m here. It’s over between us.’
It’s over between us, Eva repeated in her head. Jesus that sounded weird. Us? Were they ever an Us? She didn’t think they were, but the term had just slipped so easily off her tongue, like it was the natural description of their relationship.
Shelly laughed loudly. Eva was mortified, instantly deciding that if Shelly found it that funny, then they were definitely never an Us.
‘I’m sorry, okay?’ Eva said, desperate to say something that might make Shelly stop laughing.
‘You think I’m pissed about the Mr Doe thing? Jaysus, Eva. I’m so not. This is the way it goes. I knew it was coming. That’s cool.’
Eva made a face. ‘What then?’
‘You left me with the boring, nerdy-fuck Nathan. I ended up bringing him home and shagging him twenty ways backwards across the kitchen table.’
‘Oh shit, Shelly. I’m sorry.’
‘Now he won’t stop calling me. Even today. I have two voicemails and three missed calls.’
‘That sounds about right,’ Eva said. ‘Just ignore him.’
‘I would, but we’ve a date tonight.’
‘A date? But I thought you said he was a boring fuck.’
‘He is. But a fuck’s a fuck and he’s not half-bad. We’re going for drinks and I plan to test out the rest of the kitchen furniture after.’
Eva tried to hold it in, but she snorted loudly and then let out a monstrous fit of slightly horrified giggles.
‘Sounds adventurous,’ Eva said, slurping in huge gulps of air between words as she continued to laugh more than she had in ages.
Shelly’s phone rang and Eva tried her best to curb her laughter.
‘It’s him. I better get this,’ Shelly said, smiling.
Eva nodded and gestured goodbye with a tiny wave as she walked away. She rolled her shoulders and stood so firmly upright, her spine cracked softly in response. She knocked twice on Julian’s door and waited for an answer.
It would normally be rather difficult to hear the lift doors open from the end of the long corridor, or over Shelly’s shameless flirting on the phone. But Eva was so on edge waiting for Julian, she’d probably have heard a pin drop. The familiar bell as the lift arrived behind Eva, made her jump. She’d grown so used to the dull three-note tone from visiting Mr Doe that it often got stuck in her head on repeat on the train on the way home from work. Mr Doe? Wow, just thinking of that alias made Eva feel strange. This wasn’t Mr Doe’s office anymore, it was Julian’s. But no matter how hard Eva tried, she couldn’t equate the two to form one man.
She turned around slowly, knowing what to expect. Julian stood waiting, one foot crossed over the other, his back leaning against one side of the doors, effortlessly holding them open. One arm was bent at his elbow and his fingers rested on the same shoulder, loosely holding his dark-grey suit jacket and letting it drape behind his back.
‘Evangeline,’ he said, crocking an eyebrow.
Shelly mumbled a non-coherent goodbye and quickly put down the phone receiver.
The tension was almost unbearable. Eva knew she wasn’t imagining it; Shelly looked so tense tucked behind her desk, almost hiding. Her forehead was riddled with frown lines, which totally went against her fi
ve step anti-wrinkle programme. Eva knew Shelly wouldn’t compromise her preservation of eternal youth unless it was very serious. Frowning was as serious as it got.
Excessive drama or not, Eva was glad Shelly was there. She knew Julian’s principals would never allow him to be rude, he’d have to acknowledge Shelly and they’d have to make small talk for a few moments at least. A few moments wasn’t much but it was hopefully enough to pull herself together and calm her nerves. Eva knew whether it was moments, days or even weeks, she’d probably never fully be able to prepare herself for what lay ahead. Maybe she should change her mind. A year as Julian’s chosen girl would be mind-blowing. She’d had a taste of that life over the last two weeks, and her life had already been changed forever, imagine what a year could do. Eva pushed the thought to the back of her mind; she couldn’t allow herself to entertain the idea. It wouldn’t take much to fall for his charm once he turned it on, so she had to have all shields ready, no room for emotions now. This was so over, she told herself. It had to be.
Eva tried not to look Julian up and down, but it was almost impossible when he looked so delicious. Something about the slim fit of his tailored shirt or the soft lines of his expensive suit trousers turned her on more than anything else he wore. The clothes hugged his body with classic elegance and an image of Julian’s naked body rushed into Eva’s head.
‘You look well,’ he said, smiling.
Eva wondered if it was a genuine compliment or if it was a deliberate effort to make her aware of her appearance. She adjusted her skinny black jeans and oversized coral blouse. She hated the outfit but it was one of the few remaining items left in her wardrobe that he hadn’t bought her. It didn’t seem appropriate to wear his gifts today.
‘Hold my calls, gorgeous,’ he said, winking at Shelly. ‘I could be a while.’
Eva looked to Shelly for reassurance but she was immersed in her work and looked every inch the dedicated professional. Eva knew she was on her own in this. It was probably for the best, she decided. Get it over with as soon as possible. Every second that passed was exaggerated by her racing heart, beating so fast it made breathing a challenge. She felt like a hyperventilating hyena. Christ this was not how she wanted today to go. She knew she wouldn’t be calm, that was a given, but this was ridiculous. She was on the verge of passing out.
Rules of Harte (Harte Series #1) Page 26