by Lena Hart
“Truth? What’s wrong?”
But she didn’t answer him. She simply shook her head, her eyes glazed as she continued to stare at him blankly. Her odd behavior freaked him the fuck out.
“Give me the phone,” he demanded. Instead, it slipped out of her hand and he caught it before it fell. He realized the caller was still on the line and brought the phone to his ear. “Who the hell is this?”
There was a short pause before a woman spoke. “My name’s Tracy Mills. I’m with the National Transportation Safety Board. May I please speak with Mrs. Richards?”
“I’m her brother-in-law,” Jackson barked. “You can speak to me.”
“Oh.”
The woman paused again for a moment and Jackson’s heart thudded in his chest. Deep down in his core, he knew what he was about to hear next.
“I’m sorry, sir. There’s been a terrible accident.”
Truth sat on the couch, unable to stop rocking.
She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there in the dark, waiting for Jackson. It seemed as if time had frozen, yet the reality was that it was going by faster than ever.
Two weeks had passed since the news of the charter plane crash that had claimed the lives of nine people, including her husband’s. It hadn’t seemed real then and it didn’t seem real now.
At twenty-five, she was already a widow.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed buy a home, have children, and grow old with her husband. But she would never have that with Danny.
I didn’t even get to tell you I passed my test.
That sudden thought echoed in her head, and fresh tears sprang in her eyes. The devastating reality of Danny’s loss flooded her again, almost doubling her over. But Truth quickly blinked the tears away. Tonight, she didn’t have time for tears.
She needed to be clear headed when she told Jackson what a horrible brother he was.
My brother may be a lot of things, but deep down he’s a good guy…
Danny’s words echoed in her head, yet they only fueled her rage. Jackson was nothing but a selfish, insensitive bastard.
The news of losing Danny had been unexpected and traumatic for both of them, but she had never expected Jackson to leave her to deal with it all alone. With each day that passed, he stayed out longer, and she saw less and less of him.
Today, however, was the tipping point and she planned to wait up for him as long as it took for her to give him a piece of her mind.
When headlights flashed across the window, Truth jumped up from the sofa. She pulled back the curtain and was surprised to see a tow truck pulling up. A tall, dark man got out of the truck and went around the passenger side where Jackson sat, slouched.
The man helped Jackson out then half carried and half dragged him toward the house. Truth pulled open the front door and waited. She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. She simply stepped aside while the man brought Jackson inside.
“Where can I put him?”
“The couch.”
Truth regretted her sharp tone. She had to remind herself that people still expected her to be civil, even if she was angry and disappointed and extremely sad.
The man stopped in front of the couch and dropped Jackson down. He sat slouched, his head drooped forward, and Truth turned away in disgust.
“How much do we owe you, Mr…?”
“Call me Damian,” the man said. “And there’s no charge. I just wanted to make sure he got home all right.”
Truth nodded stiffly. “Thank you for that, Damian.”
“No problem.” He dug into his pockets and pulled out a set of keys. “You may want to hold on to these. I’ll unhook his truck and—”
“Actually, why don’t you hold on to them,” she said. “When he sobers up, he can come get them from you.”
Damian hesitated for a moment then stuffed the keys back in his pocket. “Okay. He knows where to find me.”
He started toward the door and Truth followed. Just before she could lockup after him, he paused and turned back to her.
“You’re Danny’s wife, right?”
A lump formed in her throat at the sound of his name, but she managed a quick nod.
“I just wanted to say that was a nice memorial you had for him today.”
“Thank you.”
It was barely a whisper, but it was all she could do not to weep right then and there. She didn’t know him, couldn’t even remember meeting him at the service, but he had showed up for Danny. Just like countless others had to come pay their respects.
Everyone except Jackson.
Locking the door behind Damian, Truth leaned against it. She let the tears flow down her face, unable to hold back her despair. Jackson had been the one face she had looked for in the crowd of strange faces today. He was the one person she had wanted to latch on to because he was the one person who knew exactly how painful Danny’s loss was.
But he hadn’t showed up today and she had been forced to deal with it alone.
Truth pushed away from the door and started to her room. She made it a few steps before she stopped. She couldn’t go to bed with all this hurt and anger bottled inside her. She marched back into the living room and stood over Jackson. He hadn’t move from his slumped position.
“Jackson, wake up.” When he didn’t budge, she kicked his leg. “Jackson!”
He groaned and jerked his head up. “Wha… Truth?”
His rheumy eyes were glazed over, but she couldn’t be sure it was from tears or too much alcohol. She figured the latter. She hadn’t seen him cry since the news of the accident that took Danny from them.
“Jackson, we need to talk.”
“What time is it?” His slightly slurred words came out low and he placed a hand over his face.
“It’s late. Very late. If it wasn’t for your friend Damian, you would have probably spent the night at the same place you have for the past few days.”
“Would you lower you voice?” he growled. “My head is fucking pounding.”
“I don’t care. A headache is the least you deserve after what you did. Was getting drunk more important than coming to Danny’s service today?”
Her words must have sobered him a bit because he removed his hand from his face and fixed her with a cold glare. “If you want to cry over an empty grave, go right ahead. Just leave me the fuck out of it, all right?”
Her hands balled into fists at her sides, and she held on to her rising temper and anguish. Not being able to recover Danny’s body after the crash had been yet another blow. But it didn’t stop her from buying a plot so they could have a place to mourn him and lay his spirit to rest.
“Today was very important, Jackson,” Truth said thickly. “It was for Danny and you of all people should have been there.”
There was a dangerous glint in his eyes before he turned away from her. “Are you finished? Because I’m done listening to your crap.”
He struggled to his feet and the last thread of her patience snapped. She shoved him back down on the couch. His intoxicated state made it easy, and he fell back into the seat.
“No, you’re going to listen to what I have to say.” Truth studied him, trying to get a glimmer of his feelings, but couldn’t see past the wall he put up. “What’s the matter with you? What kind of brother are you? Danny loved you so much and you…” She scoffed and shook her head in disgust. “The least you can do is pretend to give a damn about him.”
Without warning, Jackson seized her robe and jerked her forward. She tried to jerk back but before she knew what was happening, he had her pinned down on the couch. He leaned over her, his broad face so close she could smell the alcohol on his breath.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? You just got here. You don’t know shit about me or how I felt about my brother. No one cared about him more than me. No one. Not you and certainly not anyone in this town.” He came down closer, his dark eyes flinty. “That goddamn funeral was your idea,
but I don’t need anyone’s pity. I don’t need their condolences or their fucking pats on the back. What I need is my brother back.”
His voice cracked at those last words. With an anguished cry, he dropped his head on her chest. She lay there frozen, jolted by the harsh, wounded sounds coming from him. The sudden outburst of emotion was startling, and filled with grief, she was certain this was the first time he was letting himself succumb to the pain.
“Oh, Jackson,” she murmured, her voice thick with her own tears. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed a kiss on his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
She had underestimated his suffering, expecting him to display his pain for all to see. But that wasn’t him and she should have recognized that.
Truth continued to rub his back gently, until the storm of emotion passed. He remained still above her, his face buried in the crook of her neck. For a moment, she wondered if he had fallen asleep.
That thought instantly flittered away when he pressed his lips lightly against her throat, his facial hair tickling her skin. Her breath caught at the gentle caress and her fingers clutched at his shirt.
He continued moving his lips along her neck before he lifted his head and stared down at her. His dark eyes were a luminous pool need and despair, and their gazes remained locked for some time. She tried to discern the thoughts he kept buried behind those guarded eyes, but all she could see was immense sadness.
Without thinking, Truth brought her fingers to cheek and brushed away the dampness there. He shut his eyes and rested his forehead against hers.
“You should have been mine.”
Those words were spoken so low, she wondered if she had imagined them. Yet, before she could process it, he brought his lips down to hers and she stilled.
The moment his lips touched hers, everything around them ceased to exist. His lips moved over hers gently at first, almost hesitantly, until the spark of passion that simmered between them ignited. He kissed her deeply and thoroughly, and she returned his fervor with a burst of her own.
The inferno between them was just as she remembered that first day in his kitchen, but this time she didn’t push him away. She couldn’t.
God help her, she didn’t want to.
Suddenly, Jackson jerked his head back and she was left bereft from the lost contact. Their breaths came out fast and shallow, and she realized she was still clutching at his shirt yet couldn’t seem to loosen her death grip on him. She needed him in that moment…needed him more than ever.
But it wasn’t up to her.
He pulled away from her and sat back on the couch. “What the hell am I doing? This isn’t right.”
Truth followed him up. With trembling fingers, she tucked the loose strands of her tousled hair behind her ears. There was a lingering taste of his tangy sweet liquor on her lips, and that served as a cold dash of reality as to what had just happened between them and what it all meant.
“Jackson, that…didn’t mean anything. You’re drunk and we’re both…upset.”
He swung sharp, angry eyes toward her—eyes that didn’t seem all that impaired. “You can save the excuses, Truth. I’m not that drunk, and we both know that meant something. But as much as I want to fuck you right now, I can’t do that to Danny. He…” Jackson stared down at his hands, the muscles in his jaw flexing. “He really loved you.”
She swallowed. “Jackson—”
Suddenly, he bounded to his feet with a harsh curse. “He had no business on that fucking plane. And you… You should have never—”
Jackson cut off his words and Truth tensed at the unfinished accusation. She knew what he was going to say, but wanted to hear it from him.
“Go ahead. Say it.”
He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “I’ve got to get out of here.”
Without sparing her another glance, he headed toward the door. Truth flinched as it slammed behind him.
You should have never asked Danny to come home.
Her heart weighed heavily at that unspoken truth. If she hadn’t pushed Danny to come home early, he would have never gotten on that charter plane. He would be getting ready for his next tour, doing what he loved and chasing his dreams. But because of her selfishness, her husband would never come back to her.
Truth didn’t move from where she sat for a long time, trying not to let her grief consume her. It was nearly dawn when she came to another heartbroken realization.
Jackson was the only connection she had to Danny, the only family she had here in this small town…
And he hated her.
Part Two
“I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell…”
-William Shakespeare,
A Midsummer’s Night Dream
Five
Present day…
“Hmm, that’s new,” Truth muttered as she drove pass a large billboard with the words “The people of Cedar Bend welcomes you” scrolled prettily across. It had only been a year and yet everything felt so…different.
She trained her eyes on the long stretch of road, trying not to lose her resolve. Coming back to the small town she had vowed never to return to felt like a betrayal to herself. Yet, staying away for so long felt like an even bigger betrayal to Danny.
Jackson needed her, and she owed it to Danny to make sure his brother was okay.
Liar.
She could hear Jackson’s voice as vividly in her head as if he were sitting beside her. She wrestled with the truth of why she was really returning to this bleak, small town. She had very little happy memories of the place. She had followed her husband here and had lost him in just a few short months. There was nothing for her here.
The last few days before she had left Cedar Bend, he had unapproachable. She had secretly hoped they could learn to lean on each other for support, but he had remained shut off from her and everyone around him. In the end, she had known it was time for her to leave and so she had without even a goodbye from him.
Yet, one phone call from him and she had come back running.
She shook her head at herself. “I hope you know what you’re doing, girl.”
I should’ve never let you go…
Truth replayed Jackson’s slurred words in her head again. The words had been a bit muffled, but she recognized the rich baritone of his voice. He could have been drunk for all she knew, but something in the way he had spoken those nearly inaudible words had made the hairs on her arms stand.
You should have been mine, Truth. And Danny, he should…
That’s when his words had stopped, and she hadn’t been able to get another response from him. He wasn’t answering her calls or returning her messages and for her peace of mind, she had to come see him.
As Truth drew near to Jackson’s home, a knot began to form in her belly. She spent the past year avoiding any contact with Jackson, and he had done much of the same. Though she had hated how things had parted between them, she had been glad for the distance, almost relieved. Seeing Jackson in pain had been just as hard for her to watch then she had imagined, and she had her own grief and guilt to contend with.
But now that the pain of losing Danny had eased a bit, she could face Jackson again. Whether he still despised her, and blamed her for Danny’s death, she knew she couldn’t go on without making sure for herself that he was all right.
Jackson is the greatest guy I know, but for whatever reason, trouble seems to just follow him.
Truth remembered Danny’s words about his older brother, spoken so affectionately. Despite Jackson’s many flaws, Danny loved his brother and had looked up to him. Regardless of what Jackson thought of her, she couldn’t completely turn her back on him now.
She owed it to Danny.
It took another half hour before Truth pulled up to the dirt lot of the secluded one-story home. She inwardly winced at the sight of the place that had been her home for a few short months. The lawn was overgrown with weeds, what little grass was left was dead
from thirst and neglect, and the baseboards of the house was covered with dirt and grime.
For a moment, Truth wondered if Jackson had abandoned the place but then again, his pick-up truck was parked in front of the house. It was just as filthy and, with the grass and weeds stretching up along the tires, it looked as if it hadn’t been moved in weeks. Maybe even months.
Truth pulled up beside the truck and hesitated before shutting off the engine. She was taking a chance that he was even home, much less still living here. Though she tried to think of a reason why Jackson would let his family home fall under such conditions, she couldn’t think of any.
“You made it this far…”
You can’t turn back now.
Afraid she would lose what little resolve she had, Truth got out of the car and climbed up the short porch steps. In front of the door was a stack of mail being held down with a rock.
“What in the world is going on here?” she muttered to herself.
With a small frown, she picked up the bundle and stuffed it in her purse. Taking a deep breath, she raised her fist and gave the door several hard knocks.
There was no answer.
She knocked again and waited but there was no response. Truth leaned to the side and peered through the windows. The blinds were drawn, and she couldn’t see a thing inside.
Truth pulled out her cell phone and instantly dialed Jackson’s number. It also went unanswered. She hung up and looked around again, not sure what to do next. She tried the door knob and wasn’t surprised to find it locked. She thought about the key she had left behind when she had moved out last year and almost wish she hadn’t. Then again, she had never anticipated stepping foot back here.
She walked back to her car and leaned against the hood. She would give him one last call and if he didn’t answer, she was calling the police to do a wellness cheek.
As the phone started to ring, Truth waited for the automated voice message to pick up.