Chapter Ten
Amanda hadn’t expected to get drawn into the movie, especially the beginning, where Cher’s character, Loretta, was basically fumbling through life. The family dynamic was interesting, though, and Amanda almost forgot that she was sitting next to a very sexy man with a complicated dynamic all his own.
She began to fidget when she grew uncomfortable with the idea that someone had to settle for a role in life so unsuited to them. Loretta’s family took advantage of her. They expected her to behave just so. Cher as a mild-mannered bookkeeper? I don’t think so.
Which meant that something big was going to happen. A huge explosion. A monumental shift.
Amanda frowned as she thought about her mother, the only close family she’d really known. Had her mom’s role as wife and mother on the Rocking C dragged her down, like Loretta in the movie? In those manic stages of her bipolar disorder, had Luanna chafed at the restrictions, the duties? Had she yearned to run away, even before she’d decided she had to get Amanda and leave the family behind?
“You look deep in thought,” Leo remarked.
His softly voiced comment startled her. “Oh!” She had been. Too deep. “Yes, I was.”
“Thinking about the movie?”
She hesitated a moment. “About my mother, actually.” It wouldn’t hurt to tell him just a little. To let down her guard and share a tiny bit of her childhood.
He pressed the pause button on the remote. The face of Loretta’s exasperated mother was frozen on the screen. “She passed away when you were…what, just a teenager?”
Amanda nodded, looking away from the television to stare at the empty hearth. “She was…she had a difficult life. Then she was diagnosed with late stage cancer and she died fairly quickly when I was in high school.”
“And you went to live with her friends.”
“That’s right.”
“What about your father? Was he alive?”
Amanda frowned. When her mother died? “No, I think he was dead by then. I never knew him.”
“He didn’t visit or anything? Did you try to get in touch with him?”
Amanda gave a very unladylike snort, unable to hold back her bitterness. “Hardly. He didn’t believe I was his child. He probably never gave me a thought even if he knew I existed.”
Leo looked at her for a long time. “I’m sorry he felt that way. He missed out on something very special.”
She’d barely kept her composure earlier. This time, his words flowed into her like the warmth of thick, rich hot chocolate on a cold day. Like the feeling of stretching her feet toward a toasty fire on Oregon’s Cannon Beach. She had no immediate family, little chance of finding acceptance, but for tonight, she had Leo.
And Leo had said that she deserved happiness….
She launched herself across the small space separating them, threw her arms around his neck and pushed him back onto the pillows. Leo gasped and grabbed hold of her before she kissed him.
Amanda had surprised him but he adapted fast, his lips dueling with hers for dominance. If he wanted to take the lead, that was fine, as long as he didn’t reject her.
She wasn’t going to stop herself or him tonight, not when she needed this so badly. When she wanted him so much. Their kiss went on and on, until she broke away, head reeling. He framed her face with his hands, holding her steady, looking deeply in her eyes. She tried to tell him yes, I want you.
He must have understood, because he pulled her down and kissed her again, devouring her. His tongue plunged between her parted lips and she moaned into his mouth. Oh, that man could really kiss.
His hands moved over her back, her bottom, tugging her closer. He raised his knee, settling her tight against him. Oh, yes. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice husky with desire.
“Yes. Yes, I’m sure.”
He nibbled a trail down her neck, pulling her sweater aside and following her collarbone around to the front of her chest.
“Bedroom,” he mumbled against her skin, sending ripples of sensation through her.
She wasn’t sure how they untangled themselves and got up from the couch. Carefully, in his case. Clumsily, in hers. Finally, though, he pulled her upright until they were standing chest to chest, thigh to thigh.
Leo leaned down and kissed her, holding her tight, stroking her back, her sides. When he pulled back, he said, “I’ve wanted you from the first time I saw you sitting downstairs in the coffee shop, the sunlight on your hair and that wary look in your eyes.” He smiled down at her and smoothed her hair back from her cheek. “I don’t want to be the one to put that look back there, so if you’re not sure—”
“I’m sure.” She didn’t want to overthink this. Not now. Not when she had this one chance to create a memory she knew she’d never forget. “Now, please show me the master bedroom before I have to get firm with you.”
Leo grinned. “Firm with me? That sounds interesting.”
“Could be. Let’s go.” She started to tug at his hand.
He tugged her back, swept her off her feet before she could even squeal. Her arms went around his neck and she held on tight. She breathed in his scent. A light trace of cologne, a hint of herbs from dinner, a touch of heat and arousal. Her teeth grazed his skin right above the neck of his knit shirt as he carried her into the bedroom.
In just a few steps—far too few when she was being carried in Leo’s arms—he slid her down onto a high bed. She looked around to get her bearings, stretching out on the soft, downy comforter. Only a single, low-wattage lamp lit the room, but she could see the wide bed and dresser, the master bath through an open doorway. Windows let in light from the streetlamps outside, gilding everything in a golden glow.
She felt golden as she looked up at Leo, who whipped his shirt off, over his head, and flung it across the room.
Oh, my. He was everything she’d wanted, more than she’d expected. All bronzed skin and muscle, blond hair on his chest and a fiery light in his eyes. For the first time since she’d known him, she felt so…ordinary.
She hoped he wasn’t disappointed. No swimsuit-model breasts were going to suddenly pop out of her B-cup bra. No hard abs were going to ripple when she removed her everyday sweater.
Maybe he wouldn’t notice if she didn’t think too much and just started doing. She’d begin by removing his jeans, which looked way too tight.
She ran her fingers up the straining zipper. He sucked in a breath and popped open the top button.
“You are wearing way too many clothes,” he said, reaching for her sweater.
“Maybe the light—”
He leaned down and kissed away the rest of the sentence, all the while working the already short hem of her sweater higher. “The light is perfect,” he said after he pulled her sweater off and flung it in the direction of his own top. “Unless it makes you really uncomfortable, I want to see you.”
I want to see you, too, she felt like purring, but her confidence was being replaced by nervous energy. She scrambled to her knees on the mattress, needing to feel him close to her, touching her.
He kissed her, melting away her doubts as he reached between them and unbuttoned her jeans, then eased down the zipper. Her heart beat fast as he cupped his hands over her bottom and pulled away the denim. Oh, my, he’s good at this. Then he came down on top of her on the bed, still kissing her, still undressing her. He broke away to remove her socks and whisk the jeans from her legs, leaving her in only her thin bra and panties.
“Very nice,” he said, kissing her belly as he slid back up her body.
Her doubts fled at the sensation of warm male skin next to her. It’s been so long since someone has touched me, she thought as he reached behind and unhooked her bra. I’ve wanted this forever, she silently moaned as he flung the flimsy garment away with the rest of their clothes.
And then she stopped thinking as Leo made love to her and she rode the crest of sensation. She watched wit
h hazy, unfocused eyes as he dropped his jeans and boxers. Was it just the light, or did he look even better than she could have ever imagined? Then he settled between her legs and kissed her, and she didn’t care how he looked, because he felt wonderful. They felt wonderful together. She couldn’t stop touching him, even when he reached in his bedside drawer and—thankfully—remembered protection.
Because she wouldn’t have thought about anything but pulling him to her, in her, and loving him all night long.
“Yes,” she whispered fiercely as they moved together. Tears burned her eyes as she arched from the bed and cried his name, and he crushed her to him, roaring his pleasure against her hot, damp skin.
THE ROOM HAD RETURNED to normal. Or as near normal as it would ever feel again, Leo thought, his heart slowing and his sweat-damp skin cooling in the night air. Amanda was curled around him, her arm over his chest. His arm, behind her back, would feel pins and needles soon, but he didn’t care. He pulled her tighter to him, and her leg slid over his thigh.
Not yet, he thought, although his body was willing with the least amount of encouragement. Tonight had raised the stakes for him. He felt a different kind of urgency than the sexual need to get her into his bed, to make her his.
No, they’d shared more than dinner and a movie. More than first time sex.
Now what?
Now they had to talk. She’d evaded his questions. She’d danced around her reason for being in Brody’s Crossing. She’d given partial truths to everyone.
He was no longer “just anybody.” He was the man she’d made love with, the man who wanted to protect her from whatever problem had pursued her from Oregon to Texas.
He needed to confirm who she was and why she was here. He didn’t care what the truth was—although he was ninety percent sure of the basic facts—as long as she was willing to share it with him.
Sacrificing a moment of physical contact, he reached down and grabbed the sheet, pulling it over their cooling bodies. Amanda mumbled something and snuggled closer. Her eyes were tightly closed, as if she didn’t want to wake up. Or admit that she was awake.
He knew she didn’t want to talk to him, which was ironic, because wasn’t it usually the guy who avoided talking after sex?
Once they had this long-awaited conversation, she might pull away entirely. Her warm, soft body wouldn’t be pressed against him. Her breath wouldn’t tickle his chest. He wouldn’t be looking forward to lovemaking round number two. And they wouldn’t be waking up together in the morning.
Maybe he was a fool for wanting to get all her secrets out in the open. Perhaps he should just let her tell him—or not—in her own sweet time. After all, did it make any difference? Not to him, it didn’t. He couldn’t care less whether she was from Oregon or Texas or Mars, or who her parents were.
But he didn’t like secrets. He’d been burned by deception before, and in Brody’s Crossing, he didn’t have to put up with partial truths and mysteries.
She stirred, slipping her leg higher on his thigh, moving her hand across his chest. His body sprang to attention even while he told himself that they should talk.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” he said softly, tucking the sheet across his lap with his free hand. “Are you okay?”
“Uh-huh,” she mumbled. “I’m…great.”
“Yes, you are,” he said, kissing her on the forehead. “You feel like talking?”
Her whole body stilled, as if her heart had stopped beating. “About dessert? I could probably eat some now.”
“No, although we can have that also. And coffee or a very nice Moscato if you like dessert wine.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I should probably go. You’ll want to get up in the morning and I have a ton of things to do.”
He hadn’t thought about her jumping up and leaving. “What if I don’t need to get up early in the morning? What if I’d really like you to stay?” He shifted to face her, their heads on the same pillow, and he ran his hand down her arm.
“Um, well, I do have things to do tomorrow.”
“The night’s still young. We didn’t even finish our movie.”
“That’s an excellent idea! Let’s go have dessert and watch the rest of Moonstruck.”
“We can do that,” he said, pulling the sheet over her as he felt her cool skin. “But first, I just wanted to tell you something.”
“Oh, that’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I mean, we both know I’m leaving soon and this has been great, but—”
“That’s not what I meant,” he answered carefully, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. “And I know you said you were leaving soon, but that’s one of the things I want to talk about.”
“Sorry,” she said, scooting away, taking the sheet with her. “I’m on a real firm deadline. I’ve got places to go, people to see,” she added with false cheer.
“There are people here you came to see.”
“Research. That’s all.” Her voice was muffled as she searched the floor beside the bed. “Where are my clothes?”
“Around. And I think it’s more than research. I think you came here to find someone.”
“Really, I should be going.”
He moved beside her, ignoring her naked back and his own desire to tuck her close and keep her there. “You should stay. And I’m very sure you came here to meet Cal Crawford.”
“Cal? Where do you get these ideas? I came to do genealogy research.”
“Because you’re his sister.”
AMANDA’S HEART FELT AS IF it had jumped right out of her chest. How had Leo guessed she was Cal’s sister? She thought she’d been careful in her questions about the Rocking C.
“Really, I don’t understand where you got that idea,” she said, sacrificing modesty for the necessity of getting away before…what? Before she confessed her true identity?
“I’m only saying this because I want to help. And I figured you could use a friend with all you’re dealing with.”
She located her sweater and covered her breasts with it as she turned around. “A friend? You think prying into my personal life is okay because that’s what friends do?”
He leaned up on one elbow, the sheet draping his hips. “I thought I could help.”
“I don’t need your help,” she said forcefully, bending down and picking up her panties. “What just happened doesn’t give you permission to speculate on who I am or why I’m here.”
“I’ve been thinking about you ever since you arrived.”
“You mean you’ve been wondering about me, trying to figure out who this mysterious stranger is who rolled into town.”
“You looked like someone who needed a friend,” he said, his tone less patient now. Was he trying to convince her or himself that his motives were selfless?
“Well, I don’t need your kind of friends. I don’t need you.” She grabbed her jeans from the remaining pile of clothes. She felt so mad, so threatened, that she actually trembled.
“I disagree. Everyone needs friends, people who care.”
“I’m not your charity case, Leo Casale. If I’d wanted a friend, there are any number of women I’ve met around town.”
“So only women can be friends?”
“No, but the friends I want don’t study me or speculate about me.”
“I’m interested in you!”
“Well, I’m not interested in you anymore.” Holding her clothes in front of her, she backed away. “I wanted you and I had you and now it’s over.”
“How can you say it’s over when you haven’t confronted your issues? You can’t deny that your interest in Cal and the Rocking C goes way beyond curiosity. Just like you can’t deny those blue-gray Crawford eyes.”
Her breath caught. She had Cal’s eyes? Crawford eyes? “You’re imagining things.”
Leo swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat there in all his naked glory. “I think Calvin Crawford Sr. had an affair with your mother. Maybe it was a one-night stand, maybe he lied an
d told her he wasn’t married. Or maybe it lasted longer. It doesn’t matter except you’re the result of that liaison.”
“You’re wrong,” she said firmly.
“And she raised you as a single mother and he never acknowledged you or paid her a penny. You said she had a hard life.”
“She did, and that’s none of your business, either.”
“Let me help you, Amanda,” he said, reaching out his hand. “We’ll go see Cal together.”
“No!” She bumped up against the doorway to the master bedroom. “It’s my life and I didn’t ask for help. I don’t want your interference.”
“I’m not trying to interfere. I’m trying to be your friend.”
“I don’t want your friendship. I don’t want…” She couldn’t say any more. Her throat clogged with words she couldn’t get past, the hurt, the betrayal.
Words that simply weren’t true. Because she had wanted him. She’d needed him tonight and he’d been a generous lover. But now her world had come crashing down.
Once again, she’d wanted way more than she was ever going to get. Cal didn’t want anything to do with his mother, and presumably his sister. Leo wanted to solve her like some puzzle. No one in her life had ever actually wanted her for who she was.
“Let’s talk this through,” Leo urged, standing up.
“No, no more talking. No more…anything.” She turned and fled to the half bathroom across the living room, clutching her clothes and praying that Leo didn’t follow her.
She shut the door and turned the lock. She had to get away, had to get her mind straight. She should never have risked making love with Leo, she thought as she pulled on her panties and fastened her bra. But no, she’d wanted him and believed that for just one night, she could have what she desired with no consequences. She tugged on her jeans and pushed her arms through the sweater.
When had that ever worked out for her?
Glancing in the mirror, she tried to smooth her hair into some sort of order and get the wild look out of her eyes. Maybe she was as crazy as her mother to expect the impossible.
Suddenly Texan Page 12