“Good sir, I cannot allow you to do this. This fight is no contest. With your soul weapon, this Bard has no chance. A small army could not stand before you, no single man can.”
“An’ that ‘cludes you, monk!”
“That may be true, but I can last longer than him. I cannot allow such a lopsided fight to take place. At least put your soul weapon away.”
“Yes, the soul weapon, if my knowledge is correct, you call it ‘Thumper.’” Alister began again, as beads of sweat poured down him. It was obvious Gunther was enjoying seeing him sweat.
“Yeah, so what?”
“It was crafted for you by the Thizarian monks, people who worship the founder of the soul item, Chrispez Thizarian. He was the first person to have the procedure done. It was an axe wasn’t it?” he was trying to engage the barbarian’s ego,
“A sword you dummy. Everyone knows that.”
“Ah yes, a sword, how silly of me to forget, if you’ll forgive my circumstances. The Thizarian monks crafted your weapon. They understand the power of such a weapon yet are unable to wield one. The process is excruciating and those who can’t handle it go insane. It’s said that anyone can wield a soul weapon but only those truly worthy, be they saint or scoundrel, can truly appreciate them. Obviously you are someone truly worth, if I do say so myself. But I don’t have to; the soul weapon speaks for you. If my memory serves me correctly, and it does,” by this time Gunther’s ego got the best of him and he continued to listen to the bard, “the process requires an item made of the finest quality. Using a special process known only to the monks, the item is literally, tattooed onto the back of the recipient, but smaller than the actually item. As a matter of fact, if you take off your shirt, you can show everyone the magnificent tattoo of your cudgel.”
Without thinking about it, Gunther put Alister down, removed his shirt and turned his back to the crowd. Flexing his arms up, he displayed the tattoo, and his muscles in full glory. Don was now watching the spectacle with his arms crossed, wondering how the bard had once again talked his way out of a serious fight by a jealous lover.
“You see ladies and gentlemen,” Alister was on a roll, “once the tattoo is placed, the actual weapon disappears into a pocket dimension, where it is easily summonable by the wielder, at will. Why if I were to take it,” and Alister strained, its shear weight made it unwieldy for him, “and move it a couple of feet away, Gunther could easily summon it with but a thought.” At that Gunther summoned Thumper. “And with but another mere thought he can put it way,” and it was done.
“Thank you Gunther—the—Mad. It truly was an honor and a pleasure to meet you. I guarantee you have loyal fans in these lands,” he egged the crowed to start applauding and they did, slightly, “and they would be happy to help you in any way you can. As a matter of fact, I believe the innkeeper has that pint you wanted.”
Alister looked pleadingly over at the bartender. Since no damage was done, the innkeeper sighed, poured an ale and handed it to Alister. “Here you go my good man.” Gunther downed the ale in one gulp and handed the mug back to Alister. “And, as a gift to you and your wife, we have a room for you just the two of you.” Alister reached into his pocket and pulled his room key. Beckoning Jenny to come up, he put the key in her hands. “Now my good lady, if you would be so kind to do the honors.” She bent down and kissed him on the cheek, “Thank you,” she said. Alister smiled and laughed, and wondered, only briefly, how he got himself into these messes.
Jenny picked up Gunther, slung him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and ran up the stairs to the room. The place erupted in cheers.
“Very nice,” said Don, “and it only cost you your room this time.”
A lady walked up to Alister and snuggled against him, “That was amazing what you did, I thought you were dead for sure.”
Alister put his hand around the lady and began to walk off the stage, “Yes, and I can tell you many other wonderful things about myself, and you my dear. Your place?”
Don just shook his head.
Obidaan awoke from his slumber. Moving carefully, he maneuvered each child off him while still leaving them asleep. Some of the positions seemed a bit awkward but the children didn’t seem to mind. Quietly he made his way up to where his wife was sleeping. Carefully opening the door, he snuck his head inside the door. He was surprised to see that his wife was fully awake and pleasantly surprised to see she was barely dressed.
“You’ve had your fun with the kids,” she cooed, “time to play some adult games.” Obidaan slipped inside, shut and locked the door. Soon they both wished that the walls were thicker than they really were.
Later, Obidaan and Relina came down for breakfast. As they passed the children, giggles and fast whispers abounded. They both smiled and rubbed the heads of the children as they went into the kitchen. Marsha had coffee on the stove and breakfast in the pot. Relina went for the pot but Obidaan stopped her, “My turn,” he said. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and sat down with Marsha. Marsha had a bit of a blush on her face, “You two were quite, um, excited, this morning.” She took a long sip of coffee.
“We’re sorry, we got a bit carried away,” Obidaan replied, putting down a cup of coffee and what could best be described as frittata in front of Relina before going back for his plate. “It’s my fault, I get so wrapped up with the children or our missions, I sometimes forget my ‘husbandly’ duties. It had been far too long,” Obidaan went back to the stove and grabbed a plate. Looking into the pot, he scooping himself a healthy helping. Figuring he had too much, he began to put some back, but Marsha stopped him.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said with a smile, “I made plenty, figured you two had worked up quite an appetite,” she blushed again.
Obidaan blushed for a moment, as he left the food and put the spoon back in the pot. Grabbing his coffee, he joined the others at the table. They sat in silence for a while; Obidaan eating in large gulps, while the other two were a bit slower.
“Excellent,” Obidaan said, “If you don’t mind, I’m going to get some more.”
“Finish it if you can,” Marsha said.
Obidaan put the remainder on his plate and returned to the table. He began eating in large gulps again.
Done, Obidaan noted the time, “We must be off to church now darling. Don’t want to be late.” They got up, said their goodbyes, hugged Marsha and the children and were off. On the way they met up with Don and Terry.
“Hi guys,” Terry said, giving each a hug, “how is everything?”
“Wonderful,” Obidaan said slyly, “got to play with the children and get a good night sleep.
“Indeed,” said Relina, “by the way, where’s Alister?”
“In someone’s bed I suspect,” Don said indifferently. “If anyone needs to be in church, it is him, especially after last night.”
“What happened?”
“Not much, it just turns out one of his many mistresses is the wife of Gunther—the—Mad.”
“The Barbarian who destroyed a kingdom? And he’s still alive to tell about it?” Obidaan said, “How’d he manage that?”
“The same way he always does,” Terry said, “he talked his way out. Turns out Gunther has a large ego, bigger than his soul weapon. If Alister where here he would relate the story with much pomp and circumstance, in a nutshell, he convinced Gunther he was the greatest thing since creation, got everyone to admire his tattoo, bought him a drink, and then Gunther’s wife carried him off to Alister’s room. Alister found another room, with a lady, in about 5 minutes. That tongue of his gets him in and out of more trouble than I dare imagine.” They all got a good laugh out of the incident.
Soon they were at the church. Mordechi was at the front greeting the parishioners. Obidaan let the rest of his group go first before shaking Mordechi’s hand. Not letting it go Mordechi whispered to him, “May we speak in private for
a moment?”
“Of course,” Obidaan said, he seemed a bit concerned, “is everything ok?”
“I’d rather not discuss that here,” Mordechi said. They made their way up the steps and into the chamber. Obidaan took a seat on the sofa. Mordechi reached for two goblets, poured wine almost to the top in one of them, then looked over at Obidaan, “Wine?” he offered.
“No, thank you.”
“Very well,” he took a sip.
“What’s wrong? You seemed nervous.”
He took a gulp, “The Reckoning is coming soon.”
“The Reckoning or countless other doom seeking names. The time in the world when evil will run rampant over the land. That might help explain the dream I had last night.”
“Now more than ever,” Mordechi confessed, “we must know whom to trust and whom not to. Our church has a sacred duty, because we can foresee it. We must warn the world, allow them to prepare. But, there is hope. Lord and Lady Seer have told me that this time of suffering need not come to pass. It can be prevented.”
“How?”
“All I know is I must follow my heart. Part of that includes letting you know what is going on, and having you at my side. We can fight or prevent this. You are one of the greatest paladins in these lands. People listen to you. You are fearless in combat. Now more than ever, I must know I can trust you. For as you know the prophecy also talks about paladin betraying paladin, church betraying church and each betraying the other. Our church must be the shining beacon through it all, the Light that pierces the Darkness.”
“Yes, and you needn’t worry. I will never betray this church, or my gods. I swear on my life and on my oath as a paladin, I will die before I betray this church or my gods.” Obidaan’s mood lightened as he continued to speak, “We shall make it through this, my friend.”
“Excellent!” Mordechi finished his wine in a mighty gulp and poured another one, “I knew I could count on you. We will prevent this,” he sat back and relaxed. “We really didn’t get a chance to catch up this morning, how’s Relina doing?”
“Fine, though she is still without child. But it is weird because in my dream, we were on a mountain and I had a child but the mountain crumbled and while I saved Relina, we were not allowed to save the baby.”
“It is just as well. If The Reckoning does come, you wouldn’t want to be raising a child then. You’d be too busy fighting. Maybe it’s sign to hold off for now.”
“Maybe, still, it’s my fondest wish.”
“And I can understand why. I beam with pride every time I look at my son If only his mother had lived long enough to see him now. Still I know she looks down on him and protects him. He will be 18 in a few months, and he can take his vows and become an adept in the church.”
“Like father, like son,” Obidaan said.
“Yes, now let us go. The parishioners await,” And on that note, Mordechi emptied his goblet and they went back downstairs.
Obidaan took his seat next to his wife, in the front row. Reline leaned over and whispered in his ear, “How’d it go, is everything ok?”
“It went fine, but I don’t think things are ok right now. Mordechi will explain in his sermon. Also, I had a vision last night but will tell you about it later.”
Mordechi came in more reassured and sat at the altar. He looked out over his congregation and gave Obidaan a reassuring smile. As the murmurs continued, Mordechi gave a node and the small band began to play. The sounds of lutes, flutes, and drums filled the air. He watched as the alter children came down the isle, they ranged in age from about 8—16. As they passed each row of pews making their way to the front, the two teens in front looked at the candles on their side. Extending a hand, they made a flicking motion, pointing directly at a candle, causing it to light. Behind them was a child holding an incense container on a pole. The pungent smell filled the church. Last was the oldest child, holding the Holy Bible of the Seers. It was placed on the podium. With a wave of her hand over the bible, it opened to the page Mordechi had preselected. The children then took their place in the audience.
Mordechi took to the podium and read a passage, “Discussions with His Lordship, chapter 3 verses 1 through 5. And it came to pass that no more would The Seers give direct intervention. The future has many branches and once one is chosen, no matter how well the intention, it becomes a self—fulfilling prophecy. This is not the way of The Seers, for this circumvents free will and is direct interference of the gods. Gods no longer directly interfere. Gods guide, but in the end, the choice must be left to mortals.”
The choir sang an ode to foresight, and then Mordechi began his sermon:
“People, I recently had a vision. I fear The Reckoning may be coming upon us.”
A gasp fell over the congregation. People began to whisper and a few cried. “Are we doomed?” “What’s going to happen?” “How will I protect my business?” “Who’s going to protect us?” “What causes it?” “Why?” “Why now?” All manner of questions were coming forth.
“Friends, fellow parishioners, please calm down,” Mordechi said; they weren’t listening. Mordechi placed his hands on the pulpit and, though he said it calmly, it came out in a booming almost holy and reverent tone, “People, calm yourselves.” This immediately got everyone’s attention. The crowd was now quiet and completely focused on him. All with the exception of Obidaan, Relina, and the alter children. Mordechi’s call has no effect on them. Still, they were quiet and focused.
“I have been your Bishop for these 20 plus years, have never led you astray. Nor have I allowed the prophecies of The Seers to cause us harm.” Mordechi was now in full preaching mode, “Through them we have grown, prospered and become a positive force on this world. With the help of this church’s paladin, Obidaan Grailann and his group, The Vanguard, we have made a respected name for this church. Fear NOT for we have with us the best and finest force for good on the planet. When the Reckoning comes, we will be able to weather it.” Applause went up throughout the church.
“While I don’t know the exact timeframe, it will be soon. That much I do know. The only other thing I know is that it will come because of a betrayal. Who betrays whom or what I cannot say. Self—fulfilling prophesy must be prevented. What I can say is we must be prepared, we must trust in one another, and most of all,” he took a pause for dramatic effect, “we must follow our hearts. Each and every one of us, including, no, especially me. I have not failed you in the past, and I will not fail you now. I love this church and congregation with all my heart and soul. When my wife, Tanya, died the love and comfort you gave me and my son helped us through that upsetting time. We have been through much together, marriages, deaths, baptisms, and witnessed the anointment of our first paladin, Obidaan. Please stand Obidaan.”
Bashfully, Obidaan stood. He wasn’t one to shy away from the spotlight but this time he felt a bit put upon. Mordechi left the pulpit and moved to his side. Spells in the church allowed Mordechi to talk normally and still be heard by everyone.
He pointed to where Obidaan was sitting. “It was in that very spot, five years ago, you were anointed, with your lovely wife Relina at your side. Happy Anniversary.” Cheers went up in the crowd.
“Thank you,” Obidaan smiled. “It was just three of us then, me, Relina, and Don. After our first mission, the others gave in to my pleading and joined us. We got together and had to pick a name. Through a flash of inspiration, we chose The Vanguard. That was five years ago. And to celebrate our becoming a group, Relina and I persuaded the other to come to our church.”
As if on queue, Alister came stumbling in through the church door. He tried not to make any noise but the squeak of the door (another spell meant to draw attention to late comers) gave him away, everyone turned to look.
“Damn, spell.” Alister whispered under his breath. He quickly took a seat in the back of the church.
“It’s too late f
or that Alister,” Mordechi said with a laugh, “you’ve already embarrassed yourself. Might as well finish and come on up to your usually seat. We’ll wait.”
Alister slinked out of his seat and began to make his way forward. People began to whisper or snicker at him. Seems Alister did not take a bath and the happenings of the previous night could easily be discerned from his odor. Alister, not to be one to be too embarrassed about anything began bowing and greeting the people as he went by. When he got to Mordechi, he stopped.
“Maria, could you be a dear and help Alister to his seat, among other things?”
The girl who brought the bible in stood up, made her way down the main steps and without a word, took Alister by the hand. She led him to his normal seat in the front row. Out of her pocket, she pulled a vial of holy water. With a quick prayer, she put a drop on his head then added another one just for good measure. As soon as the water hit his head, he was cleaned, clothes crisp, and clean—shaven. He was a bit amazed he had never had a holy bath before. She leaned over and whispered in his ear.
“That’s only effective while you’re in the church. Once you leave you’ll be back to the way you were, sir.” She kissed him on the cheek and returned to her spot.
“I have such an effect on women, but she’s too young for me.” Alister whispered.
“No, that’s just how Maria seals her spells for guys.” Don whispered back.
Mordechi began again as soon as Maria was in her seat. “Yes, The Vanguard came to church that day and you all sat in the front row, in the seats you are sitting in right now. At the end of the ceremony, as I always do, I asked if there were any announcements. Along with the usual announcements, you stood up and announced, well I could say it, but I think on this occasion I’ll give you the honor.”
No Good Deed Page 3