“Out in the world,” said the ghost girl Kim. “And walking up and down in it.”
They all looked around sharply; and there she was, standing before them. Glowing very faintly in the gloom, her bare feet hovering an inch or two above the ground, smiling happily on them all. JC rushed forward, reaching out to take her in his arms, only to remember at the last moment. He stumbled to a halt before her, and they stood face-to-face, smiling into each other’s eyes. Lost in each other but unable to touch. After a respectful moment, Happy and Melody came forward, and Kim turned away from JC to smile on them. Happy put up a hand for a high five; and Kim put up a hand that almost touched his. Melody threw the ghost girl a quick salute, and Kim nodded in return.
“Where have you been, Kim?” said JC.
“I’ve been tracking down the individual who was inside Patterson’s head, before me,” said Kim. “The servant of The Flesh Undying; the secret traitor at the heart of the Carnacki Institute.”
“Who?” said JC. “Who is it? Who are we talking about here?”
“I can’t tell you,” said Kim. “Not yet.”
“Why the hell not?” said JC.
“Don’t you raise your voice to me, Josiah Charles Chance,” said Kim. “I can’t tell you because I’m protecting you. I know the name; but they can’t read my mind.”
“They?” said Happy, his ears pricking up immediately.
“Exactly,” said Kim.
“Why didn’t you come back to us before this?” said Melody.
“Because the traitor saw me,” said Kim. “Saw and knew me. And so The Flesh Undying sent its agents after me, physical and spiritual, chasing me all across the world, and Above and Under it. The living and the dead, in hot and cold pursuit. It’s taken me a long time, travelling through the sacred and profane places of the world, to shake them all off . . . and to search out what I was looking for.”
“All that matters is that you’re back,” said JC.
“Not quite,” said Kim. “I’m sorry, JC, but we’re not alone here. Something unfriendly is here in this place with us.”
“What?” said Happy. “What?”
He spun quickly around in circles, as though hoping to catch something by surprise. Melody slapped her scanner with the flat of her hand again.
“Still not picking up anything!” she said angrily. She shook the thing fiercely. “You are seriously underperforming! You can be replaced!”
“I’m not Seeing anything!” said Happy. “I Spy with my third little eye . . . nothing out of the ordinary! So to speak.”
“The Flesh Undying knew I would reappear here,” Kim said calmly. “I had to return to this place because this is where I’d left from. Closing the circle was the only way I could come back, to the material world I left. There are rules, you see, for the dead as well as the living. Perhaps especially for the dead. And The Flesh Undying took advantage of that. It’s set a trap here, for me, and for you. It’s not too late for you to leave if that’s what you want.”
“Never,” said JC.
“Well, I don’t know about never,” said Happy. “But I’m here now.”
“He’s so brave,” said Melody. “Isn’t he wonderful? Of course we’re not leaving, Kim! You’re part of the team.”
“Then brace yourselves,” said Kim.
JC and Melody and Happy moved quickly to stand back-to-back-to-back; so they could watch and cover all the open space around them. So nothing could sneak up on them or catch them by surprise. Melody put her scanner away and produced a machine-pistol. She swept it smoothly back and forth with professional ease, looking for a target. JC had to smile.
“All right,” he said, “I give up. Where do you keep that gun, Melody?”
“Trust me,” said Happy. “You don’t want to know.”
Kim stood very still, looking at whatever ghosts looked at.
“I can See layers of protection, still in place,” said Happy. “Laid down around Chimera House. But it’s standard off-the-shelf stuff. The kind of defences that would collapse in a moment if anything seriously demonical even leaned on them.”
“The threat to us isn’t inside the building,” said Kim. “It’s out here, with us.”
“Okay,” said Happy. “I am now running for the car. Try to keep up.”
“Too late,” said Kim, sadly.
The ground before them split violently apart—soundlessly, jaggedly. Solid stone and concrete tore like paper. The ground shook and juddered, and the three living Ghost Finders staggered back and forth, clinging to each other for support. A deep chasm opened up, stretching across the open square, full of darkness. Kim turned a stern gaze on the wide gap, and like that the ground was still again. Everything was quiet. Melody took a cautious step forward, peering down into the great dark crevasse. Happy moved in behind her, staring over her shoulder. JC looked at Kim, who looked calmly back at him.
“More major structural damage, right in the heart of London’s business centre,” said Melody. “Someone’s insurance premiums are about to go right through the roof. What do you want to bet that the powers that be will find some way to blame all of this on us?”
“No wonder the security guards were called off,” said JC. “Someone didn’t want any witnesses . . .”
“This isn’t like the last time,” Happy said slowly. “It feels different . . .”
They all eased forward, right up to the edge of the chasm, and looked down. A long range of old stone steps headed down into the darkness. Scuffed and much-used stone steps, without any banister or railing, falling away, apparently forever.
“Impressive,” said JC.
“They’re not real,” said Kim.
“What?” said Happy.
“The steps aren’t really there,” said Kim, apparently entirely unimpressed. “This is merely a transition, from one place to another. Your mind interprets what’s there as steps to make life easier for you.”
“How come you can See that when I can’t?” said Happy, frowning hard at the steps, which still insisted on looking like steps.
Kim smiled. “Because I’m dead. It’s very revealing, being dead. You should try it sometime.”
“Not right now,” said JC. “We’ve got work to do.”
Melody took out her hand-held scanner again and aimed it down into the dark chasm. Smoke immediately poured out of the machine, from every side at once, and the whole thing overheated so quickly, Melody had no choice but to throw it away before it burned her hand. It dropped away into the darkness and quickly disappeared. Happy looked at Melody but had the good sense not to say anything. JC peered dubiously into the chasm.
“All right,” he said. “Where do these steps that aren’t actually steps go, Kim? And why do we want to go there?”
“Hold everything,” said Melody, blowing gently on her scorched fingers. “Before we go into that, I want to know; who actually broke open the ground? Who provided this extremely dramatic transition; and who wants us to go down there, into London Undertowen?”
“Into what?” said Happy.
“Is this you, Kim?” said Melody. “Did you crack open the world?”
“No,” said Kim.
“Is this the trap?” JC said carefully. “The trap The Flesh Undying has set for you, and us?”
“Yes,” said Kim. “But for once, I think The Flesh Undying has outsmarted itself. It’s so used to thinking of itself as the most intelligent and superior creature on this planet that it has never stopped to consider that wasn’t always the case. There’s something else, waiting for us down there, that we can use against our enemy.”
“Will somebody please tell me,” Happy said doggedly. “What the hell is London Undertowen?”
Melody sighed loudly. “Am I really the only one on this team who takes the time to read the regular reports the Carnacki Institute circulates among its field agents every month?”
“Yes,” said Happy. “You sweet little girl swot, you.”
“We get regular rep
orts?” said JC. “Really?”
“Information is ammunition in our line of work,” Melody said primly.
“That would look good on a T-shirt,” said Happy.
“Never wear them,” JC said firmly.
“We noticed,” said Happy, crushingly. “Maybe we could stencil it on the back of your jacket.”
Kim looked at Melody. “They haven’t improved while I was gone, have they?”
“No,” said Melody. “Men . . . Evolution; I’m looking forward to it. Hey! Both of you shut the hell up and listen! Thank you . . . London Undertowen is the city beneath the city. Or perhaps even the world beneath the world. Catacombs, set deep in the earth, that the Romans and everyone else built London over.”
Happy glared down the long series of stone steps, concentrating hard, as though he thought he could make them look like something else if he tried hard enough.
“Don’t,” said Kim. “Steps are good. Learn to love the steps. Because all the alternatives are worse.”
“So . . . what’s down there, exactly, in this Undertowen?” said Happy.
“I’ve been trying to get a straight answer on that for months,” said Melody. “I’m pretty sure someone somewhere in the Institute knows, but I’ve never been able to hack the security around those files. You’d have to turn up at the Carnacki Institute’s Secret Libraries, in person, and read what they’ve got there. Except mere field agents like us don’t have a high enough security clearance to get in there.”
“Ooh! Ooh!” said Happy, bouncing cheerfully up and down on the spot. “I’ve always wanted to get inside the Secret Libraries!”
“The Boss did promise us access,” JC said slowly. “But she never got around to updating our security rating . . . Which may or may not have been an oversight on her part . . . Kim; do you know what’s down there, in the Undertowen?”
“Something very old,” said Kim. “Something The Flesh Undying thinks it can use against us. That’s one of the reasons why I stayed away so long, guys. Because I didn’t want to put you in even more danger. But I finally saw a chance to come home again, and I took it. I have a plan; so let’s hope I’m as smart as I think I am. If you want to keep me, JC, you’re going to have to go down there into the dark and fight for me.”
JC grinned. “Isn’t that how we first met?”
They smiled at each other.
“I can’t help noticing,” Happy said loudly, “that I still haven’t had an answer to my question. What the hell is down there?”
“Tell me,” said Kim. “What do you guys know about Druids?”
“Oh hell,” said Happy. “The answer hasn’t even started yet, and already I hate it. You mean the real Druids, the original Druids? Scary, and I mean seriously scary. Not like the current bunch, the Stonehenge botherers. Big, hairy, refried-hippie, tree-hugger types. The original pre-Roman bunch were seriously nasty, bad-arse, mystic warriors. Heavily into murder magic, human sacrifice, burning their enemies en masse in giant Wicker Men . . .”
“Good film, that,” said JC.
“Bloody good film,” said Happy. “Which only goes to show we shouldn’t mess around with anything that involves real Druids. We’re only supposed to deal with ghosts. I think we should back away, very carefully and at speed, and turn this whole thing over to someone with more experience in this field. Like the Droods.”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” said Melody. “They’re scarier than the Druids ever were.”
“True,” said Happy.
“You deal with the dead,” said Kim. “And what’s waiting for us down there very definitely qualifies.”
“Only back ten minutes, and already I’m getting into situations that give me twitches in the backstairs department,” muttered Happy.
“Tell me more about Druids,” said JC. “I never was very big on ancient history.”
“The old-time Druids dealt with wood and water, fire and earth,” said Melody, patiently. “And like the Nature they worshipped, the Druids were red in tooth and claw. So seriously hard-core they actually shocked the hardened Roman Legionnaires. Three times the Roman armies tried to invade Britain, and twice the Druids drove them back into the sea, till the waters ran red with blood up and down the coast. The Romans only won the third time, in 55 B.C., because they were able to sneak in agents and get the various British tribes fighting each other. The Romans practically invented Divide and Conquer. But, you have to remember that the Druids had an entirely oral tradition of knowledge, with information passed only from mouth to mouth. Nothing was ever written down, to preserve their ancient mysteries. So the only written records we have of the Druids at that time are Roman writings. People with no interest in presenting the Druids in a good light.”
“So they were actually good guys?” said Happy.
“No,” said Kim. “Not by any definition we could be comfortable with.”
“Druids worshipped the triple goddess,” said Melody. “Macha, Badb, Neman. More gorecrows than gods, they thrived on slaughter and butchery. And then, there was Lud . . .”
“And then there was Lud,” said Kim. “A very ancient Being, he predated the Druids who worshipped him. Long dead now, of course.”
“Good,” said Happy. “Anyone the Druids worshipped is not someone you’d want to meet in a dark catacomb. You are sure he’s dead?”
“Oh quite definitely,” said Kim. “I’ve seen the body. That’s why we’re going down into the Undertowen—to talk with him.”
They all looked at her.
“Are you saying,” Happy said carefully, “that somewhere down there, is the ghost of an old god?”
“Ghost of an old monster, anyway,” Kim said cheerfully. “Surrounded, of course, by all kinds of other dead things of an equally upsetting and dangerous nature.”
“Including a whole army of dead Druids, perchance?” said Melody.
“Exactly!” said Kim.
“I’m going home,” said Happy. “Right now. Really. Watch me.”
“I thought you wanted to fight for me?” said Kim.
“Well, yes, but,” said Happy.
“And there you have his entire character, in a nutshell,” said Melody.
“Come along, children,” said JC. “Lovely night for a stroll in the Undertowen. We are going down!”
“Of course we are,” said Melody.
And then she broke off, as Happy produced a pill bottle from one of his jacket pockets. He studied the handwritten label carefully, put the bottle away again, and fished out another. He nodded over the label, undid the screw cap, and knocked back two of the pills quickly, swallowing hard. Melody stared at him, openly shocked.
“Happy!” she said finally. “You swore you didn’t need those any more . . . You promised me you’d thrown them all away!”
“I lied,” said Happy, meeting her angry gaze unflinchingly. “I do that sometimes. When necessary. To keep the peace.”
“You don’t need pills any more!” Melody said fiercely. “You’ve got me!”
“You make me feel safe,” said Happy. “But you can’t make me feel brave. To go down into a place like this takes more of me than I’ve got.”
Melody turned to JC. “Do Something! Say something!”
“He’s a grown man,” said JC. “He can make his own decisions. He knows what he needs better than you or I.”
“Sorry, Melody,” said Happy. “But love can only take me so far. After that, it takes chemical courage to push me over the edge.”
His eyes were already glassy, and his smile was a lot wider than they were used to seeing of late. Melody glared at him coldly.
“We will talk about this later.”
“If there is a later,” said Happy. He went right up to the edge of the great chasm and looked down the long steps into the dark. “Ooh . . . You’re right, Kim. They really aren’t steps at all, are they?”
“What are you Seeing down there, Happy, that the rest of us aren’t?” said JC. And if he was as surprised and shocke
d as Melody at Happy’s return to a chemical crutch, he kept it out of his voice. He had a job to do.
“Let’s just say . . . When I say It’s quiet, too quiet, that means something,” said Happy. “In this case . . . it means Something’s down there waiting for us. And not in a good way. Let’s go say hello!”
He went clattering quickly down the stone steps, taking them two at a time, and the others had no choice but to hurry down after him.
* * *
The stone steps felt real enough, solid enough, under JC’s feet as he took over the lead from Happy. On the grounds that if you were heading into danger, the one leading the way should have at least some of his survival instincts still working. The small group moved steadily down into the depths, surrounded by a small pool of moon-pale light with no obvious source. JC couldn’t help noticing that none of their feet made any noise at all on the apparently solid stone steps. Without any landmarks, it was hard to get any real sense of descent, or time passing, until the stairway suddenly stopped without warning, and they were Somewhere Else.
The catacombs stretched away before them: ancient stone galleries, with corridors and passageways, endlessly turning and branching. Rough stone arches, all of them full of shadows and darkness. Dusty openings and endless grey avenues led off in every direction. Old stone, without markings or character, constructed to serve a purpose and a function, not decoration. The silence was complete, hanging heavily over everything. JC looked at Melody, who was hanging on to her machine-pistol like a security blanket. She actually jumped slightly when he turned to her.
“Yes! What? I don’t see anything!”
“I was wondering. How big is London Undertowen supposed to be?”
“How big is London?” said Melody. “They say you can find everything that London’s lost down in the Undertowen. Lost people, lost secrets, lost civilisations.”
“Albino alligators!” Happy said brightly, smiling about him beatifically. “Grown from small pets flushed down toilets when they got too big.”
“First, that’s an urban myth,” said Melody. “And second, it’s an entirely American urban myth. Alligators as pets never caught on over here because we are a sane people.”
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