I immediately liked her.
“Ophelia, as in Shakespeare?” I asked.
She gave an eye roll. “Yes. Ophelia as in Shakespeare. My mom has a boner for all things Hamlet. And,” she added, “Odessa, as in a crappy town in Texas where my dad is from.” Another eye roll.
“Better than my initials,” I chuckled.
Her eyebrows raised, curious. “Ooh, tell me!”
I smirked. “Rosalind Ines Pastrano.” I automatically pronounced my middle name as Jill had always said it: E-ness. For some reason though, it suddenly sounded foreign in my ears. I couldn't explain why.
I watched Odie’s face contemplating my initials and knew she would think Ines started with an E.
I decided right then I would no longer say my middle name Jill’s way. There may be nothing I could do to change my first name, aside from shortening it, but my middle name could be pronounced differently. From now on, I would say it like I-nez. Such a teeny, tiny step toward creating my own identity, I know, but it felt necessary.
My soul shifted with that snap decision, and it felt incredibly good.
A look of confusion passed over her face. “R-E-P?” She asked and shrugged. “So your initials spell Rep? Okay. That's not too weird.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, it’s Eye-Nez,” I clarified, trying out my new pronunciation. I liked it.
Her eyes widened and she grinned even bigger, her deep, red lipstick shining across her perfect, white teeth. “R-I-P? As in rest in peace? Oh my gawd, so cool!”
“I go by Roz,” I offered with a small smile. I was stunned that this girl thought my initials were cool, when I'd always felt weird about them.
“Call me Odie,” she said. “I think we're going to be great friends. OOF and RIP. It's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?” She giggled.
“Oh no,” I said, as I played with our initials in my head. “Say them together fast- RIPOOF!” I laughed. “It sounds like I'm trying to say rip-off in a British accent!”
Odie laughed. “Just listen to the way they sound for a sec. Oof. Rip. Ooooof. Riiiiip. Roz!” She exclaimed. “Our initials sound like fart noises!”
We laughed together so hard, I just knew Mr. Harken would say something to admonish us, but he merely glanced our way and smiled.
This class was the coolest place ever.
Standing there, listening to Odie’s soft laughter as she helped me put on a smock, I knew this was going to be my favorite class. For some inexplicable reason, maybe because of our initials or maybe because of our style choices, I felt an instant kinship with her.
Lunch was immediately after art class, and she suggested I sit with her in the cafeteria. Of course, I agreed.
We sat at a table next to one of the windows eating our lunches (licorice and potato chips for her, a bagel and a banana for me). The cafeteria was filled with the sounds of students talking, laughing, each one involved in their own groups and cliques. It appeared like everyone had some sort of group they were attached to, and I was grateful for Odie’s invitation to sit together. I looked over the tables, wondering idly which group she'd be sitting with if I hadn't shown up.
She asked for my cell number and I gave it to her, watching as she punched the numbers into her phone. She immediately sent me a text that read,
Let it RIP, Roz!
“Oh for crying out loud,” I laughed when I read it.
“Now you have my number too,” she grinned.
“Cool,” I said, but explained that my number would likely be deactivated soon.
“Oh crap, really?” She asked. “Why?”
Without thinking, I said, “My mom died last week. I don't know how she even paid the bill for it each month, but I'm sure it's going to be turned off soon.”
Odie stared at me and her mouth dropped wide open. “Oh my gawd,” she whispered. She made “God,” sound like she was from Boston. “Your mom died? How? Is that why you moved here? Do you have to live with relatives now?”
I could have bitten my tongue. I fervently prayed for a sinkhole to appear and swallow me up. How could I have brought that up? This was the first day of my fresh start, and here I was spouting one of the ugliest parts of my old life to my new friend.
“Yeah,” I said slowly. “Umm… I didn't mean to share that with you just yet. It's not really anything I'm ready to talk about. Can we maybe change the subject?”
Odie, whose eyes nearly popped from her skull, nodded.
“Sure, of course. No pressure. But… wow.” She took a bite of her licorice and shrugged as she chewed. “Hey, we're friends now, you don't have to feel like you can't talk about it with me. I mean, if it was me, I’d really want a friend.” She fell silent, looking down at the table for a moment before looking up at me once more. “I know we just met, but I'm trustworthy, honest. Unlike some people around here.”
I let that last comment slide and nodded my thanks. “You're kind of the first friend I've ever had. I always kept to myself at my old school, so sharing stuff with you is going to be a new one for me.”
She smirked. “Wise girl! You gotta be careful who you make friends with here. Believe me! I learned the hard way.” She tilted her chin towards a group of girls, all dressed alike in short skirts with heavy tights and cardigans, each in a different shade of pastel. “They look sweet, but don’t fall for it. They're evil. They're the so-called religious ones, but they're full of crap and will do anything to make themselves look good while making you look bad. I was friends with that girl there,” she pointed to a girl with long hair styled perfectly, dressed in soft, baby blue from head to toe. “That’s Devon. When we were younger, she didn't care that my family is Jewish. But then she met those girls and blew me off, saying we had a difference of religious politics.” She rolled her eyes big and shook her head. “So stupid. And over there,” she nodded to another group which was both boys and girls who looked happy and casual as they ate. “They're into some crazy crap, it’d be best to keep away from them. For real.”
The group in question looked like they were as far from “crazy,” as one could possibly get. It made me curious. “What kind of crazy crap?”
She leaned forward, her voice dropping to a whisper. “They're the total opposites of the sweet religious girls. Those guys really are genuinely nice, but they're into dark stuff. You'd never know it by looking at them, but I heard they're into things like spells and Satan and voodoo, all that scary mumbo jumbo.”
I looked back to the group, surprised. A boy with wide shoulders and light brown hair sat at the center of the group. He was dressed in a blue Henley and jeans, nothing outrageous, nothing which showed he was into any kind of voodoo-type stuff. Nothing black, no piercings, no big heavy rings, nothing which one would associate with someone of that type.
He caught me looking and smiled. My stomach lurched at how handsome he was, and I felt my face flush as I turned my head away from his gaze.
Odie missed the exchange, and continued.
“They try to look like everyone else so no one knows what they're into. They seem innocent and nice at first, to lure you in… and really, they all have been nothing but kind to me… but, once they've got you in the group there's only one way out.”
My eyes grew big.
“What way is that?”
She took a finger and drew a line in the air across her throat. Then nodded.
Those kids looked completely normal. Like she said, nice. I had a hard time believing her.
“Are you messing with me?” I asked suspiciously.
Odie shook her head. “Not even. I'm serious as a heart attack.” She stopped herself and looked chagrined. “Gawd, my mouth! Sorry! I hope your mom didn't die of a heart attack!”
I shook my head and smiled wryly. “No, that's not what killed her,” I said softly.
I glanced back over to the group of “normals,” and found the boy staring at me again. His eyes were serious and he'd lost his smile. He said something to the girl beside him, who grinned and
looked over at me as well.
Their attention made me adjust my hoodie to make sure everything was still loose and baggy, and I turned my focus back to lunch.
CHAPTER 11
Just my luck, the rest of the day I had classes with the “normal,” boy from the cafeteria, and the blonde girl in baby blue. I kept my eyes straight ahead as my language arts teacher introduced me to the class, ignoring the intense stare of Mister Normal and the giggles of Blue Blondie and her posse. Mrs. Charles, my teacher, didn't acknowledge any of it as she directed me to a seat at the back of the class.
I noted two empty desks near the front as I walked to my assigned seat and was thankful she'd sent me to the back, away from the stares and giggles. Maybe Mrs. Charles had noticed my awkward reception, after all. I was relieved to be behind everyone, away from the curious stares and stupid giggles.
But it was short-lived. As soon as I took my seat, Mister Normal turned in his, and gave me a stare that penetrated me.
For almost an entire minute, he simply stared. It was unnerving. I pretended to poke around in my backpack, but his gaze never left. Finally, I raised my eyes to his.
They were cold, icy blue-green, and sent a chill down my spine. I felt an unease come over me as he held my gaze and my eyebrows lifted of their own accord. I'm pretty sure my Inner Roz was trying to make a statement like, “What's your problem?” But I'm pretty sure the effect was lost on him. He gave me a slow grin, and turned back around.
I quietly released the breath I didn't know I'd been holding, and proceeded to get my head back in the game. School, Roz. School.
Despite having people in my classes who made me uncomfortable, I was able to tune them all out and concentrate on the lesson. Mister Normal and Blue Blondie never gave me another glance after that, and I felt ridiculous at thinking I'd been interesting enough to have warranted further curiosity, despite the fact that I was on guard.
After school, Odie approached me at my locker as I grabbed what I needed to take home with me.
“Text me later?” She asked, and placed a folded piece of paper in my hand.
I looked down at the paper and smiled. Old school note writing? I liked her more and more. I shoved the note in my back jeans pocket and nodded.
“I'll text you when I'm done with my homework.”
She grinned, gave me a quick, unexpected hug, and walked away.
I watched her retreating form for a long moment. I'd never had a friend before. I was the loner, the one who everyone thought was crazy or screwed up or on drugs. Kids my age never wanted anything to do with me.
Until now.
My breath hitched as I felt the bruise that was me shift once again, its dark purple pigment lightening to blue as I basked in the knowledge that I finally had a friend. What an amazing feeling. I ached to grasp it and never let go, but at the same time, for reasons I couldn't comprehend, I feared it.
***
Despite having a brand new bus pass in my backpack, given to me that morning from Mitch, I decided to walk home from school. I wanted to get an idea of the area I now lived in, see if there was anything interesting nearby. Besides, my brain was overwhelmed by the events of the day and I needed some time to just be.
I strolled by houses, some with pretty yards and others with weeds, and let my mind wander over all the recent events that had uprooted my existence. My mother was dead, her boyfriend had assaulted me (best not to think about that too much), I'd spent days in the hospital, I moved, I had a new home and family (even if they were temporary), I had a new school, and a new friend. And despite all of those major happenings, I couldn't stop thinking of the one which trumped them all.
Jimmy.
How could he even exist? I never believed in ghosts before now, but here I was listening to his every word, needing him to stave off the nightmares that came each time I closed my eyes, absorbing everything I could about him when the energy allowed him to be visible. And when he wasn't visible, I was forever seeking a cold draft of air to reassure me he was nearby.
How could this be happening to me? How did it even begin? When did it start? Why didn't I see him until Derek?
Then I remembered. Jimmy had said something like a veil had dropped between us when I was little, and I quit being able to see him. But why? I had vague memories of being a small child, and bleak ones of growing up. I really had no idea what had occurred to make me stop seeing him, but I wished I could remember.
It was chilly outside and I wrapped my arms around my chest, noticing a slight layer of fog settle in as I walked. It made me shiver, but I found comfort in it, as I had before. It felt like I was being embraced by the universe, by Mother Nature herself, and my whole body sighed.
A soft smile formed on my lips as the mist swirled around my feet. I walked, almost laughing as it danced around my legs. I raised my face to the whitened sky, and sent up a tiny thank you.
I wasn't sure who I was thanking, really. God, my mother, my sister, or the earth. But it felt appropriate, considering all the blessings that came from the deaths of the two people I hated most in the world.
I suppose it didn't matter in the long run. My thanks was being offered to the beyond, I was certain would find its way.
“Hey!”
A voice shouted from behind me suddenly and I turned automatically in response.
Mister Normal approached at a half jog, hurrying to catch up. I paused my stride and watched him warily.
“Rosalind, right?” He asked, flashing a come-hither grin.
I nodded silently, my arms tightening themselves around my chest.
Up close, he was tall. At least six feet, maybe a few inches more. His shoulders were wide and his skin was tan. A lock of hair fell forward, covering one of his beautiful aqua eyes.
I resisted the sudden urge to reach out and brush it away.
He stuck his hand out and said, “I'm Parker Evans. It's nice to meet you.”
I shook his hand and almost gasped at the electricity I felt. His grip was firm but gentle, and incredibly warm. I pulled back immediately but he held onto it just a fragment longer before releasing me.
“Nice to meet you, too,” I said quietly.
“Are you walking home?” He asked, glancing around. “In this weather?”
I shrugged. “The weather isn't bad, just some fog.”
“I could give you a ride home, if you'd like,” he gestured toward a blue Chevy Cruze parked a little ways down the street, idling at the curb. Two red-headed girls sat in the backseat, their heads turned and watching us intently.
“Umm, thank you, no, I'm fine,” I stammered, feeling very self-conscious beneath his stare.
He tilted his chin. “Are you sure? You seem… lost.”
At his words, a cloud of confusion flooded my senses and the world spinned before me. I was overcome with dizziness and reached out to prevent myself from falling.
Parker’s sturdy hands righted me, and he briskly rubbed my arms up and down for a moment. I looked up to thank him, and that's when I saw where I was.
Somehow, I'd managed to end up in downtown Marion, six miles away from my house and school.
What in the world?
I looked around frantically. I was standing right before the public library and Parker’s car was still idling down the street, blocking traffic. Except it wasn't the same street. Or the same area. Or the same vicinity.
“Oh my God I'm losing my mind,” I whispered anxiously.
Parker stepped closer, his eyes watching me intently.
“Are you lost, Rosalind?”
I kept looking around, searching for something familiar besides the library. I remembered passing the library briefly when Mitch had taken me to get school supplies the other day, but nothing else registered in my brain.
And to end up downtown, of all places? It meant I would've had to have passed by my house to get here. How could I have not been paying attention?
I peered at Parker’s questioning eyes and nodded.<
br />
“I think I am.”
He smiled. “Then let me give you a ride.”
***
I was home before I knew it. I didn't remember getting in his car, or introducing myself to the girls in the backseat, but the next thing I knew I was standing in front of my house waving goodbye as they drove off into the swirling fog.
I'm actually losing my mind, I'm going crazy, were the only thoughts I could form.
CHAPTER 12
When I walked in the front door, Bonnie rushed toward me.
“Where have you been?” She asked worriedly. “Did you get on the wrong bus? Why didn't you answer my texts?”
I looked at her, stunned. “I'm… I'm not sure…” I said lamely.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and saw four messages from her, and one from Odie. I also saw the time.
“Wait, school let out over two hours ago?” I asked incredulously.
Bonnie looked at me and offered an understanding smile.
“It's alright if you go have fun with your new friends after school, just let me know next time, okay?”
I nodded stupidly, and allowed myself to fall into one of the kitchen chairs.
I sat that way for several minutes: staring at my phone, dazed look on my face, confusion filling every pore within me.
How did I lose two hours?
Parker Evans. I wasn't cloudy or confused until he showed up to offer me a ride home.
Bonnie set about straightening the kitchen around me as I continued to sit. The sounds of cartoons came in from the living room, and I knew the children were in there. I heard Mitch talking to someone on the phone down the hallway. Everything seemed basic. Normal.
Everything except me.
“You want something to drink?” Bonnie asked. “Or a snack?”
I shook my head, no. My stomach was queasy and my brain felt lopsided.
“I'm going to get started on my homework,” I said softly, and left the kitchen.
***
Rest in Peace Roz: The R.I.P. Series Book 1 Page 7