I had considered drawing them on my hands like Odie had, but realized it would cause too many questions in my home, so I placed them on easily hidden body parts instead.
Although I had hope it would work, there was still my Inner Roz who very stubbornly refused to believe drawing a few silly symbols on my body would stop the nightmares.
Right, I told her angrily, and you’re in love with a ghost. Weird things happen. Get over it.
Apparently, the runes worked. I fell asleep that night wrapped up tightly against my ghost-boy and the next thing I knew, morning had come.
No nightmares.
No fear.
No loss of sleep.
“Good morning sweetheart,” Jimmy said as he burrowed his face into my collarbone.
“Good morning, handsome,” I said softly, smiling as he nuzzled my neck.
“It worked,” he said.
“It did,” I agreed.
He trailed feather-light kisses along my jawline and dipped his head down further, softly tasting the skin on my neck.
I both sighed and squirmed at the sensations it produced in my body.
“Such torture,” I whispered.
“Exquisite torture,” he mumbled against my throat.
“Jimmy,” I breathed, running my hands through his thick hair.
“Shh,” he said quietly. “Don’t think. Just go with it.”
“But, Jimmy-”
“I said shh,” he insisted, and suddenly he was nibbling my neck.
“Jimmy,” I pleaded, “Stop, I don’t want Bonnie to come in here and see me like this!” I placed
my hands on his chest and gave a firm push.
He wouldn’t budge. In fact, it seemed only to excite him even more.
“Ah, Rosalind,” he breathed into my hair as he grabbed my wrists and forced them above my head, “You taste just like I imagined you would.”
I grew still beneath him. Something about his words made me uncomfortable.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He simply grinned down at me. In the next instant, he was kissing me furiously as his tongue invaded my mouth, seeking and demanding purchase. I kissed him back, but something was different. Something was off. He wasn’t kissing me like he usually did, and I pulled my head away as I fought him to release my wrists.
“Jimmy stop!” I cried. “This isn’t like you!”
Jimmy gazed down at me and his face changed for one brief, unimaginable moment.
“Get away!” He whispered in a scream, “He’s controlling me!”
“What!” I shouted. “Who, Jimmy? What’s happening?”
“I can’t fight him,” he said dully. I watched in horror as his eyes lost their shine and his face morphed into something inhuman for one small second.
Then, once more, his mouth was upon mine and his hands tightened around my wrists, locking me in place.
It was dizzying. It was Jimmy, but it wasn’t. It was his mouth, his kiss, his flavor… but it was foreign. It was familiar yet new, all at the same time.
And I found myself kissing him back just as furiously as he kissed me.
A knock suddenly landed upon my door and I heard Bonnie call out, “Morning, gorgeous! Are you awake?”
She opened the door timidly as Jimmy faded into nothingness and my weak limbs melted into my mattress.
I was breathless. All I could do was nod at Bonnie as she peeked in at me.
“Breakfast in ten,” she said quietly and closed the door behind her.
***
I was shaken up for the rest of the day. Jimmy’s words continuously echoed in my head.
Get away! He’s controlling me! I can’t fight him!
I needed to talk to Odie, but knew she was attending a bat mitzvah for a distant cousin. I needed to talk to Jimmy, but he was nowhere to be found.
I tried to summon him all day, but he never appeared. I walked in endless circles around my bedroom, searching for the cold air that would be him. But nothing.
I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do. Was Jimmy in danger? Would he show up soon?
I had no way of knowing.
After endless minutes of increasing frustration, I decided to channel my helplessness into something positive, just like Lorna had instructed me to during a therapy session. I brought out the charcoal sticks and sketch pad, letting my fingers roam over the items for a moment as I pondered what to draw.
As if he was reading my mind, Tobias hopped up on the desk and allowed his silky tail to wrap around my hand.
“Oh I see,” I said to the finicky feline, “you think I should sketch you.”
I gave him a soft pet, and he purred beneath my touch.
“Think you're pretty enough to be drawn by me?” I teased, grinning cheekily at him.
He looked at me, yawned, and then moved to the side of the desk where he turned around once, twice, and then sat with both paws crossed in front of himself. Turning his head slightly, he eyed me warily as if to say, I dare you to capture this greatness.
I raised my eyes at him.
“Challenge accepted!”
I spent the next several hours sketching whatever was in front of me. Tobias, who sat for about ten minutes and then decided I was too boring for him, took off and left me to finish his likeness without him. But it came out alright, so that led me to try my hand at still life. I drew the books on my shelf, the computer on my desk, my bed, and some of the quotes that covered my walls.
Just when I thought I couldn't find anything else to draw, it hit me.
Angelina.
With everything that had happened in my new life, I'd forgotten about the old photo of me and my sister. Juanita had given it to me as we'd left the hospital that day, and I'd placed it between the pages of my journal, forgetting all about it.
I opened the bottom dresser drawer where I'd stashed my most valuable possessions from my old life. There weren't many things. My journal, of course, and a small wooden trinket box, and my old Chucks. Don't ask me why I kept those old, smelly, holy things. I guess they just served as a reminder of my past life, one that was dirty, broken, and worn. Glancing down at my feet to see the new ones I wore, I smiled. Thanks to the love and kindness of the Walters, I'd come a long way in a short time.
I removed the journal and found the photo. I propped it against the books on my desk, took a deep breath, and began.
As before, when I'd sketched Jimmy, I completely lost myself to the process. I have no idea how long I sat. All I know is that once it began, I couldn't stop until it was absolutely perfect.
After minutes or hours (I had no concept of time once I immersed myself), I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder and was startled from my reverie.
“It's just me!” Laughed Bonnie, peering over my shoulder. “I knocked but you didn't hear me.” Her eyes widened as she looked first at the photo, then at my sketch. “Now I see why. Oh Roz,” she exhaled.
She reached for the photograph, then stopped herself.
“May I?”
I nodded.
She gingerly picked it up and smiled. “These girls are beautiful. Is one of them you?”
I smiled. “It's me with my older sister, Angelina.”
Her eyes grew big around. “You have an older sister?”
I dropped my gaze to the sketch. “She died not long after that picture was taken.”
“How terrible,” she said sadly, “How did she die?”
I shrugged. “I don't know, exactly. A fall down the stairs is what I was told, but given the past behavior of my mother and her boyfriend, I'm beginning to think it was something else.”
Her brow furrowed in thought. “Do you think they had something to do with it?” She asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know, really. It was forbidden to speak of her in our house.”
“What a shame,” she said simply. “People handle grief differently than others. Maybe that was your mother’s way of coping.”
I shrugged once more.<
br />
As if sensing correctly that I wanted to change the subject, she looked down to the sketch, inspecting it with her keen artist’s eye, and grinned.
“I knew you'd be a natural. This is outstanding.”
I blushed softly with her praise. It was outstanding. Even I could see that. I'd gotten it just right.
“Do you have more sketches?” She asked.
I took the pad from her and opened it to the beginning, showing her the image I'd done of Jimmy.
“Go ahead, have a look,” I offered, my voice laced with uncertainty, hoping she wouldn’t ask about the subject matter of that first drawing.
Thankfully, she didn’t.
It was one thing to let Odie have a peek at my work, but an accomplished artist like Bonnie? That was something else entirely. I grew uncomfortable as she went thru my sketchbook page by page, watching as her eyes grew big, or her mouth curved. After several long, anxious minutes, she closed the book and stared at me.
“Your talent is incredible,” she said with complete sincerity.
I stammered a small “thanks,” and looked at my feet.
“I'm going to have Mitch build us a joint studio in the back yard,” she declared.
I glanced at her.
“What?”
“You heard me. A studio where we can both go in and do our thing without any distractions. It'll be yours as much as mine.”
“Bonnie,” I said hesitantly, “I can't ask you to do that.”
“You're not asking me. I'm asking Mitch!” She winked. “Inn all seriousness, you have a gift, young lady. I'm going to make sure you have all the tools to utilize it.”
And with that, she stood up and left my room. I stared after her, not knowing what to say. Somehow, though, I was pretty sure she wouldn’t have taken “no,” for an answer, anyway.
***
Jimmy never appeared. In bed, I kept reaching for a spot of cold air, waiting to feel him beside me, but there was nothing. I whispered to him in the darkness, begging for a sign or something- anything- to reassure me that he hadn’t completely disappeared forever.
There was nothing but silence.
Tobias found his way to my bed and purred alongside my body. I tried to take comfort in his presence, but I was too afraid that my love, my protector, had left me forever.
Snuggling with the furry cat, I allowed silent tears to leak from my eyes as I whispered brokenly, “Where did you go, Jimmy?”
CHAPTER 23
The next day at school, Odie took one look at me and began worrying.
“What in the name of all that’s holy happened to you?” She asked. “Did the runes not work? Did you get sucked into another dream again?”
I grimaced at her words, well aware that I looked like walking death. I hadn’t bothered brushing my hair, just threw it into a messy bun, emphasis on the messy. My eyes had dark circles below them and I hadn’t even bothered trying to put on any makeup that morning. Even my clothes were totally mismatched, I hadn’t even noticed what I’d put on.
One thing missing, however, was my trademark flannel.
Following her gaze, I looked down and saw my dark green leggings beneath my vintage, long-sleeved Xanadu t-shirt. Which would have been fine if my shirt had been any other color besides red. Combined with my black and purple Chucks, I looked ridiculous.
I looked like a walking Christmas display.
I looked like a tired, single mom who gave up on herself.
I sighed inwardly, but really didn’t care. What was the point in making an effort when Jimmy had been taken away from me? Would I ever see him again? Would he be able to reappear to me at all?
“The runes worked,” I said quietly, “But we’ve got another problem, now.”
“Well, first off, you’re coming with me so I can make you look somewhat presentable. Then we’ll talk about the latest crap. Deal?”
She didn’t give me a chance to reply, she just grabbed my arm and hauled me off toward the girls’ bathrooms.
“We’ll be late for first period,” I complained as she pulled me inside and closed the door.
“So?” She asked, indifferent. “Something is wrong with my best friend today. Nothing else matters.”
I nodded tiredly, understanding. I would have dropped everything too, if she’d come to school looking like this.
Amidst all the other girls using the mirror, Odie pulled out a makeup bag from the giant skull-covered tote hanging at her shoulder, and went to work. She applied who-knows-what to my face as giggling girls surrounded us and primped. Minutes later, the bathroom cleared out except for us, and the bell for first period rang.
“We’re officially late,” I whispered in the stillness.
“Late, schmate,” she winked.
She worked on my face for a few minutes more, then mused, “Not too bad, considering what I had to work with. Open your eyes and look!”
I opened my eyes slowly and looked into the mirror.
My mouth fell open.
She hadn’t just put makeup on me, she’d completely transformed my whole face.
Gone were the dark circles and ruddy complexion. Instead, my eyes appeared well-rested, and the blue color of them popped out beautifully. She’d given me a smoky eye, lined in a dark plum eye shadow with black mascara. She even filled in my dark eyebrows, making them look thick and natural (not like those crazy painted-on things some girls wore). My cheeks were kissed with the softest touch of pink, giving me a rosy tone. Last, she’d done my lips in a pale, neutral pink gloss, which allowed my eyes to stand out even more.
I looked unbelievable.
“You need to do my makeup everyday,” I said.
She nodded in agreement.
“Now, let’s do something about your clothes, because hello, you look like a mental patient.”
She rummaged through her bag once more and removed a white tank top. Then she took off her black pea coat and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She wore a tight, fitted long-sleeved top that was black with a straight neckline, and a pair of skinny jeans.
“Lets trade shirts,” she suggested.
“What? No,” I said slowly, “Your shirt will make my boobs look even bigger than they already are!”
“Let’s try,” she said, “Why not?”
“Because I don’t have a flannel to cover up with, that’s why not!”
She refused to listen. “Just take it off,” she said stubbornly.
I shook my head, no. There was no way I was putting on such a ridiculously tight top.
“Look,” she said in the most placating voice possible, “Put on the black top, then cover it with the white tank. It’ll be hella better than what you’re wearing now.”
I sighed once again.
“Fine,” I acquiesced, wanting to be done with it.
A few minutes later, she was wearing the Xanadu shirt (which seemed to look insanely great on her, for some reason), and I was wearing the black shirt with white tank top.
“Why hello there boobs,” I said to my reflection, “So nice of you to pop out at everyone today.”
Odie laughed then shook her head. “You look hot,” she said, “But I honestly think your hooters are not as big as you believe them to be.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re just saying that so I don’t feel like a stripper.”
“Oh my gawd you do not look like a stripper!” She exclaimed. “Maybe if we put your hair down it’ll make you feel better. You can use it to cover up the girls.”
We tried it. All it did was bring even more attention to my giant jugs.
“Okay, let’s put your hair back up,” she said. “Besides, if everyone can see those gorgeous eyes of yours, they won’t even notice your massive mams.”
“Massive mams?” I asked.
“Mammaries,” she explained.
I hate to admit it, but I laughed at that one.
***
We had finally finished up with my appearance (and with the big boobs jo
kes), and sat on the bench in the girls bathroom, talking. I explained to Odie that, although the runes had worked, something happened to Jimmy. I described how he’d kissed me Sunday morning, how it felt like him, but wasn’t him. Repeated his words to me, “Get away, he’s controlling me, I can’t fight him.” I explained how his face had changed for the smallest of seconds, how he went from looking like Jimmy to looking like a different person, and back to Jimmy again, all at the same time.
Finally, I told her that he’d disappeared and hadn’t come back since then.
“So maybe he’s stuck somewhere,” she suggested, “Like in some other plane, ya know? I mean, he’s a ghost right? There’s probably all sorts of things in the spirit world we know nothing about.”
I nodded, “I’m sure that’s true, but he’s never once stayed away from me at bedtime. Not since I started being able to see him.”
“Hmm,” she said thoughtfully. “Who do you think he was talking about when he mentioned being controlled?”
“I have no idea,” I said honestly. “The only thing I can think of is the warning from my dream about the necromancer.”
“Right,” she said, tapping her finger nail against her chin.
We sat in silence for a moment, each of us trying to decipher everything.
“Hey!” Odie exclaimed suddenly. “You said the runes worked, right? No more bad dreams?”
“Right,” I said. “Well, not for Saturday night. I didn’t really sleep much last night.”
“Well, what if they worked too good? What if they worked so well, the necromancer guy couldn’t reach you through your dreams, so he got to Jimmy, instead?”
I looked at her.
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“If the runes are for protection, and they worked, then the spirit or demon or creepy dude or whatever the heck he is, can’t get to you. He’s got to go after someone else.”
“Someone else, someone close to me,” I said. “And Jimmy is the closest, besides you.”
“And I don’t sleep next to you all night. Jimmy does.”
Just then, I remembered something.
“When he was kissing me, when it was him but it wasn’t him, he stopped and said, ‘I’ve always wondered what you taste like.’”
Rest in Peace Roz: The R.I.P. Series Book 1 Page 15