by J. R. Bowles
“What if I make the wrong choice?” John said the uncertainty was reflected in his eyes.
“John, I know it probably the hardest decision anyone has ever had to make but you have to have faith in yourself. You have been given an example of what can happen. Think about Rudy. He is locked away for all of eternity to suffer the miserable existence of aloneness. He is but a part of the whole. You have a lot to take into consideration.”
“Do you think if I choose collapse the entire universe will collapse or just our solar system?” John asked running his hand through his hair.
“Truthfully, I think it will be the whole universe. The universe is several billion years old and I'm willing to bet that it's time. All through the ages most of the religious teachings have pointed to the judgment day, when man would be taken to heaven or cast to eternal damnation. And the one's that didn't teach damnation taught that the kingdom of heaven was within.”
John shivered even though it was warm in the room. “That's what I was afraid of, and for some reason I think even though it took the universe a long time to expand the collapse will be almost instantaneous.”
“I agree with you.” Zolar nodded. “With the collapse all of the known laws of the expanding universe with be cancelled and replaced by the opposite. Where time was once radiation. That's the part which will be lost. The one's that are moving out of sync with the rest, those will be lost to the same fate as Rudy.”
John groaned and stood up. “Thank Zolar, I appreciate your complete cantor. I'm going to go to my room now and rest.”
“John,” Zolar called to him before he left the room. “If a man was traveling down a road and ahead of him the bridge was out, you would do everything in your power to get him to stop. Just remember, what ever decision you have to make you won't be able to make it until you know all of the facts. Don't worry about this. Tonight you will have all of the facts. It's no use to worry about it until then. When you have the facts then you can decide. Hey, for all you know the bridge ahead of us may still be there but whatever it is you will know tonight. So there's no use to spend this time agonizing over it. Get out and enjoy what's out there.” Zolar shook his head and added gravely. “It might not be there tomorrow. There might even not be a tomorrow.”
“Thanks Zolar.” John turned and headed for the front door. He would go out for a walk. He had planned to spend the rest of the day brooding about the great burden he had but Zolar was right. It might not be there tomorrow.
“One more thing.” Zolar called. “While Michael's gone I'll see if I can get into his room and find the drugs just in case we need them.”
John nodded and walked out the front of the hotel. The Star on the mountain was the first thing to catch his eye. It was so huge and painted white. He wondered if it would be lit in white or red tonight. If the drawing in the chamber was correct it would be in red.
He was glad he had listened to Zolar and went out for a walk. The traffic seemed light compared to where he lived in Florida and practically nonexistent when compared to New York. Even though the temperature was in the low 80's he felt a clean refreshing breeze brushing his face. As he walked along he could tell that the city, like most cities, was feeling the urban decay. He walked along taking random streets. He was going nowhere particular and tried to focus on the splendor of his surroundings. He stopped to watch several kids playing in a park. One child in particular caught his attention. She was sitting in a swing trying to push her self into motion but was unable to move past a gentle sway. She appeared to be about four or five years old and John wondered where her parents were. After several minutes she became frustrated with her failed attempts and tried to get one of the other children to push her. Most of the other children were a little older and John could tell from watching them they had refused assistance. One older girl had given the younger child a shove which almost knocked her down.
Finally the young girl must have decided to give up and left the park. As she walked out she passed John but did not seem to notice him watching her.
Even though the traffic was light it was still enough that a young child should not be attempting to cross the road alone. There were no traffic lights near and the child must have decided to cross the road in the middle of the block. She stopped and peeked out from around a park car. John saw her muscles tense as she readied herself to run across the road.
John reached down and caught the back of her collar just as an old Chevrolet, driven by some teenagers rushed around the corner. As he held her collar the car speed by traveling at least thirty miles faster than the posted 25 mile per hour limit.
John felt the girl's body stiffen as she stood less than six inches from the side of the car. After the car passed, her body became limp and John thought she was going to faint. She turned around to see who saved her. Little brown eyes and a turned up nose peered up at him. She pushed her hand through her hair which hadn't been washed or brushed in days and moved it out of her eyes.
“Thank you, Mister.” Her faint melodious voice trembled with the thick Roanoke accent.
“Are you okay?” John asked gently.
“I, I think so. It just scared me. I almost got killed didn't I?” Her eyes widened at her own revelation.
“You might have been. You should be more careful.”
“I looked both ways. I don't know where that car came from?” Her eyes widened and she smiled brightly. “You saved my life. My mommy said Jesus saved lives. Are you Jesus?”
John was flabbergasted by her question. So much had happen to him the last week he suddenly wondered why this incident had happen. The word coincidence had been dropped from his vocabulary.
“No honey, I'm not Jesus.” John answered.
“Well if you were you might not tell me.” She said smiling up at him. “I was so scared.”
“Well you're okay now.” John smiled and nodded. “Where's your mamma?”
“I don't know. They just went to the store one day and never came back.” She said.
“Who takes care of you?”
“I take care of myself.” She boasted proud of herself. Her little chest puffed out in pride.
“But you're to young to be alone. You must live with someone?” John quizzed.
“I did live in my house and then some policemen came and I hid behind the house. They put a bunch of papers on the front door and did something to the locks and I couldn't get back in.”
“Honey you should have gone to a policemen.”
“Nuh-uh, they'd put me in an orphanage and treat me mean.”
“I don't think they would. They would probably find a nice family for you to live with until they find your mommy and daddy.”
“I never really had no daddy. It was mama's boyfriend.”
“What's your same?”
“Sally Ann. What's yours?” She smiled and twisted back and forth.
“John. How long's your mommy been gone?”
“A long time. More days than I have fingers and toes.”
“Aren't you hungry. How do you get anything to eat?” John asked when he realized the child's mother had been gone for more than twenty days.
“There's a hamburger place over there,” She pointed. “And they're always throwing away all kinds of stuff. I just go after dark so they don't run me off or call the policemen.”
“But where do you sleep?” John asked as he surveyed her, noting that she looked like she hadn't washed in a long time.
“Where ever I can. Sometimes I sleep here in the park but there's a lot of bad people that come around here at night. Most of the time I sleep in a cave down that road there.” She pointed a grimy finger.
“You can't go on living like this. We have to call the authorities.” John said.
“No.” She said and started to run.
John reached out and grabbed her shoulder. She stopped and turned to look up at him.
“Please, Mister John, please don't call them. If my mama comes back she won't be able to find
me.”
“You can't go on living like this. What will you do when it gets cold?”
“I can take care of myself.” She protested.
“Well at least let me get you something to eat.” John suggested and watched her eyes get big. He realized she must be a hungrier than she had been acting. She swallowed at the mention of food and John realized her mouth must be watering.
“I'm okay, Mister John.” She said in spite of the hungry look on her face.
“I won't call the policemen, I promise.” John released his grip on her shoulder.
“Okay, Mister John.” She answered hesitantly.
“I have a whole bunch of friends for you to meet. Would you like that?”
“A whole bunch? I don't have any friends. The other kids call me names and won't play with me. Are any of them kids?”
“No, no kids but there's some nice ladies there.”
“Oh, goodie.” She squealed.
When they got back to the hotel John took her to the restaurant and ask her what she wanted.
“Anything 'ceptin hamburgers, if I could.” She said as she propped her self up at the table.
“I tell you why don't you go wash your hands and face over there in the bathroom and I'll order something for you. “
”Okie dokie,” she answered and skipped off to the rest room.
John used the phone in the restaurant and started to call Morgan. He thought for a few minutes and called Jackie instead. Jackie was a little bit older and her whole persona was more of a mother than Morgan's.
“Hi, Jackie, this is John. I found a little girl that' s hungry and I brought her back with me. She doesn't have any parents and she needs a little tender loving care. I tried to talk her in to letting me call the police but she afraid of them. I know it's sexist but I think she might feel a little more comfortable with a woman than a man. From what I gather she didn't really have a father. Her mother just had a live in boyfriend and they both disappeared awhile back.”
John paused and then said into the receiver. “Thanks Jackie, we will be in the restaurant.”
John went back to the table and waited. He order the little girl a good well balanced meal and a big glass of milk. Just as she returned Jackie entered the restaurant.
“Hi Jackie this is Sally Ann.” John introduced.
Jackie pulled up a chair and sat down and offered the girl her hand. “Hi, Sally Ann.”
“Hello Miss Jackie.” Sally Ann took Jackie's hand timidly.
“Please just call me Jackie.”
“Nuh-uh. My mommy always said to use Mister, Misses or Miss and Mizz if a woman wanted to be called that but I'm not s'pose to use first names.”
“Okay, then you call Miss Jackie.” Jackie forced a big smile. The poor little girl was incredible dirty and she looked like she hadn't been eating to well.
“Here comes your food.” John said.
Sally Ann's eyes got big and she smiled when she saw the quantity of food being brought.
“Is all of that for me?” She asked in disbelief.
Jackie eyed John. Just like a man, she thought, ordered too much. Didn't he realize she hadn't being eating very well and this much food would probably make her sick.
“It's all yours.” Jackie said. “But maybe you should just taste a little of all of it. If you eat to much it might make your tummy hurt.”
“I guess you're right.” Sally Ann looked solemn. “But if I don't eat too much could I have some ice cream?”
“You sure can.” John said.
“Okay.” Sally Ann said as she began to eat rapidly but slowed down as she saw Jackie watching her. “You sure are pretty, Miss Jackie and you smell so nice.”
“Why thank you. I think you're pretty too.” Jackie returned the complement.
“You do?” Sally Ann smiled brightly. “Nobody ever told me I was pretty before.”
“They haven't?” Jackie asked in disbelief. How could a mother not tell her own child how pretty she is. All little girls like to hear that from their mothers. “Well you are.”
“Would you like some new clothes?” John asked Sally Ann eying her oversized and ragged dress.
“New. Really? Brand new, from a store?”
“Yes sweetheart.” John nodded.
“I never had nothing brand new. My mama always got my clothes from the old clothes shop or the 'vation army store.”
“The vation army store?” Jackie asked.
“Who's that?”
“You seen 'em, they ring bells out side of the liquor store.” Sally Ann explained. “But brand new clothes, really?”
“Yes brand new and new shoes too.” John said.
“Tennis shoes?” She asked hopefully.
“Yes,” John answered, “and pretty shoes too.”
“Oh boy,” Sally Ann said. “I'm full. Can we go now.”
“I thought you wanted ice cream?” Jackie smiled.
“I'm full. I'm ready to go.” Her eyes smiled up at Jackie.
“Here's my credit card.” John said, handing it to Jackie. “Buy her as much as she wants and what ever you think she needs and Jackie, thank you.”
“John there's no need to thank me this is pure pleasure.” Jackie said taking his credit card and slipping it into her purse. “Are you sure you don't want to go along with us?”
“I've never been much of a shopper.” John answered.
“Coward.” Jackie grinned and then turned to Sally Ann. “Why don't you go wash your hands and face?”
“I washed them before I ate.” Sally Ann protested.
“But after eating chicken your hands might be a little bit greasy and you don't want to get your new clothes greasy, do you?”
“Oh yeah.” Her eyes widened and she stood up and headed back to the rest room. “Excuse me.”
After she was out of hearing range Jackie patted John's hand. “This is really a nice thing to do John but what are we going to do when we leave?”
“I hadn't thought about it. We will be forced to call the authorities. And what do we do about tonight, what do we do with her then?” He then had a good idea he would ask Mindy to watch her. It would take care of two problems at once. He would have some one to watch Sally Ann and an excuse for Mindy not to join them.
“Maybe Mindy would watch her.” John suggested.
“Maybe.” Jackie said in agreement.
When Sally Ann returned she had scrubbed her face to where it was red and washed her arms up to her elbows. Jackie thought, maybe I should have her bathe first. Then decided against it. Sally Ann was to anxious and she would still have to put the ragged dress back on her. Besides she would probably want to bath after she got her new clothes so she wouldn't get them dirty.
They bid John good-bye and left.
“Thank you.” Sally Ann called back to him over her shoulder. “You're the most nicest man I ever did meet.”
John felt a lump in his throat and his chest hurt. He wondered why he had done it. He guessed he felt sorry for her. No one should ever have to live like that and she was still just a baby. He sat there thinking to himself and ordered a cup of coffee. Why was he doing this? Why did it even matter? The world may no longer exist tomorrow. He shrugged, well even if it didn't, at least Sally Ann would enjoy today.
CHAPTER 59
Mindy sat in her room grateful for the separate rooms. She needed time away from Jamal. He had wanted her to come over to his room but she had told him that she had some female things to do. Men always fell for it. Soon as you mentioned you might be close to your cycle the average man would change the subject. She stroked the little kitten.
“How’s my baby doing?” She said as it meowed in it’s high pitched voice.
“Mama brought you some milk back.” She watched as it lapped at the ashtray full of milk.
She could hardly believe it. Finally, she thought, she had worked so hard to get to this point and it was only hours away.
The phone rang and she picked it up expecti
ng it to be Jamal.
“Hi, baby.” She answered. “Oh, hi John,” and laughed. “I thought it was Jamal.”
She stood and gritted her teeth as she heard John describe finding the little girl and would she mind watching her tonight. What could she say to him? She didn’t want him to suspect anything yet, so she agreed.
“John, I would love to watch the precious little thing.” She grimaced. She would make John hurt for this. She would make him hurt bad before she killed him but now she had to convince him there was no problem.
“Oh, I'm sure, John. No, not at all.” She lied into the receiver. “I love children besides I would be out of place there anyway.”
She had to force herself to keep from slamming down the phone when he was finished. That fucking bastard, she thought. How am I going to know where they go. “I know,” she said aloud, “this kid and I will just happen to take a walk at nine o'clock. I will walk with them and then pretend to turn around. I'll get rid of the kid as soon as I find out where they are but they will think I walked back to the hotel.”
It was going to cause her more problems but maybe she could use the kid. She might even need the kid's extra life energy to be able to overcome John. This might just be a blessing in disguise, she told herself. If she had to she would kill them all, even Jamal. She had been growing fond of Jamal but everyone was expendable if necessary.
“Come here Azid.” She coaxed to the kitten. “Come here sweety pie. You're my little baby aren't you. Can't trust people can we. You're the only one I can trust.”
CHAPTER 60
“Hi Dad.” Zolar said into the receiver. “Guess where I am?”
“Hi Zoe.” He heard his father say. “Where are you?”
“I'm in Roanoke. I'm staying with some friends over at the Hotel Roanoke. But Dad, I think you knew we would show up here.” Zolar said accusingly.
“Yes we did, son. We've been getting ready for your return.” His father answered.
“Dad I think you owe us a little more explanation. I'm not buying some of what you told me. I want to hear everything.”
“What's wrong?” His father ask him.