“I...I don’t know what to say, Silver. Maybe you have to get to a repair center and reset or--”
“I don’t want to reset. I mean, I don’t think it would make a difference even if I did. One year ago, I was just out of the repair center, and then that thing in the Great Embassy happened. Zan was again the first one I saved, even though you were the one closer to me. Do you remember? My system should have reacted differently, but this isn’t a malfunction, Eladia. This is life in the work.”
Zan is smiling at her. He’s so happy to hear her say all these things. Still, I’m not sure he understands the full extent of what Silver says.
“Look, I won’t lie to you. I don’t know what’s going to happen to you now that this thing started. If you don’t want to stop it, then don’t. But be careful Silver. You’re not the first AI that thought it was becoming sentient only to be stopped short by its capacity for feelings.”
Silver seems to understand, but Zan doesn't. “What do you mean? She can have as many feelings as she wants. Right?”
“It doesn’t work like that,” I say. “Androids are not built to feel, not even think independently. The user gives them a command, then they process that command and utilize their powers to accomplish it. After the command is achieved, their system returns back to the default state.
“Now, if Silver starts thinking independently, like starting to create memories for example, and then feelings, her memory won’t be able to handle all that data in the long run. She will start confusing reality from memories, and will even forget you, even if you’re the one closer to her all the time.”
Silver probably hasn’t said anything to him for a good reason. The boy is in love with her. She didn’t want to hurt the poor boy. And I went on and crudely told him the truth. Still, Silver doesn’t seem mad at me, not at all. She’s just sad.
“I don’t care,” Zan suddenly says. “I still want to spend the rest of our lives together. Is that too selfish of me?”
I smile at him and shake my head. “No. Not at all. It’s just another way of being human. That’s all,” I say to him.
At that moment, it dawns on me. My answer is lying in front of me, on the faces of my beloved friends.
“I have to tell him the truth. To tell him that I’m in love with his other self.”
Silver nods, as well as Zan. They both look at me, trying to think of a better way to fix this situation, but I’m certain that it doesn’t exist. It seems like it’s just another day in hell, and I’m the main protagonist.
“Truth can be liberating, Eladia. Especially regarding you two. You lied to him too many times already. Don’t you think it’s time to start telling the truth?” Silver says.
That’s exactly what I think when I ride the elevator to his room. I know he’s upset about what happened to the meeting, but if I don’t do it now, then I will never do. It’s now or never.
Walking down the hallway to his room, every moment we spend together passes through my head. He’s kind, thoughtful, stoic, powerful; Jay is the man that every woman wants.
But, Dark Jay is something else entirely. He’s something new and shiny, a person that amazes me every time he appears. I don’t know why I choose him over the platinum-skinned man, but it’s my final decision.
Standing outside his door, I feel like I’m not supposed to be here. It’s like someone else is ready to get in and tell him the truth. I’m not the Eladia that I was the first time we slept together, and it’s certain that I’ll change even more in the future. But, if I want, to be honest with him and with myself, I have to talk to him about my true feelings.
I knock on the door.
“A moment,” he says.
No, I need more time. A minute? Two minutes? Yeah, that would be better. Still, we can’t have everything we want, right? The door opens to reveal a shirtless, silver body. He’s gorgeous, as always.
“Oh, it’s you,” he says, jovially.
What the hell are you doing, Eladia?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jay
Eladia is standing outside my room. It’s a nice surprise, although I’m not in the mood for a fuck right now. I have many things in my mind that I want to sort out before arriving at Yaerus. Still, since she’s already here, I can’t help but smile and invite her in. My room is her room, and she already knows that, but she seems hesitant to come in for some reason. She’s waiting for me to invite her inside.
“Come on in,” I finally say.
“Thanks,” she says.
I pick up a strange vibe; she’s not in the mood for fucking, too. Although it shouldn’t, it bothers me.
“It’s nice spending some time with you all alone,” I continue.
She nods but walks straight into my bedroom. Maybe she’s in the mood after all. I don’t know, I’m confused. Women of all species seem too complicated to figure out.
I follow her and find her sitting on my bed, her face hidden behind her hands. She seems sad for some reason.
“Is everything okay?” I ask her.
She doesn’t reply to me. Instead, she sighs and raises her head to look at me. There’s a storm brewing in her eyes. They’re a red around the edges and deep and somehow hazy. Eladia is looking at me but at the same time, she doesn’t.
“I...I’m not sure. There’s something I have to tell you,” she says.
Oh no! Trouble in Paradise, Dark Jay suddenly comments sarcastically on the situation. He picked up her foul mood himself and decided to make matters even worse for me. I swear, sometimes it’s like we’re the exact opposite of one another. I can’t seem to understand how he’s thinking.
I sit beside her on the bed and look straight into the eyes. She turns away, but I stretch my hand and gently pull her back. Eladia is so beautiful when her hair is down, especially now that she cut them short and can’t gather them in one of those hideous ponytails. It’s so much better this way. Still, she won’t talk to me if I don’t push her.
“Talk to me. What’s wrong? Don’t you like our plan? There’s still time to change it if you disagree,” I say.
She gives me a mirthless smile, one devoid of any feelings. It gives me the impression that I have no clue what I’m saying. I don’t like that expression.
“It isn’t about the plan, Jay. It’s about us. I...I don’t where to start from,” she says.
My heart stops for a moment. I freeze in place and can’t think clearly. Is she trying to break up with me? To push me away? But, why? We’re so good together. Our sex is perfect, the passion between us is strong. I don’t understand what’s going on in her mind right now.
And that pisses me off.
I stand up and move away from her. I’m not sure I want to be sitting next to her right now. I take a deep breath and lean against the door frame.
“What’s wrong with you? Why are you so determined to always fuck everything up? We’re so good together! I fucking trust you now, more than anyone in this world. Isn’t that what you wanted all this time?”
I’m angry; anger makes me lose control of my body and right now I don’t want Dark Jay coming out of its hiding. I can feel him stir in there, waiting for the right moment to shatter my defenses. And Eladia is doing a fine job helping him.
“It has been over a year since we last met, Jay. You can’t blame me for having second thoughts. You’ve...changed. You’re not the same man I fell in love with. I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m happy you trust me, but…,” she says.
“But? But what? So now I’m the one that isn’t good enough for you? You didn’t seem to have a problem last night or the night before when I was sticking my dick inside you. Is that what I am to you? A toy you can play with?”
Words come out of my mouth all by themselves. I’m not sure who am I anymore, what I’m saying. I just want to make her feel shitty, the same way she makes me feel right now.
“It’s not like that, Jay. You know that all the
moments we shared were real. But...but I think I’ve fallen for someone else.”
Numbness quickly replaces anger in my body. I can’t talk anymore. I can’t think straight. I stand still, glancing at her, through her, above her, below her. I’m trying to understand the subtext of this conversation, but I’m not sure I get it.
“Are you fucking with me, Eladia? Did Pyro make you say all these nonsense? Maybe one of the siblings?”
She shakes her head. I stride towards her, grab her by the shoulders and shake her.
“Please! Tell me it was one of them. I will understand, I promise. I won’t get mad. Just please, tell me that this is a joke.”
I don’t recognize myself. Every minute of my previous life passes through my head, and I don’t remember ever feeling this way. I’ve made a fool of myself in front of a woman, and I can’t stop it.
Tears run down her face. “I’m in love with your other self, your dark self. At least...at least that is what I think I’m feeling. I just want to talk to him for five minutes, to clear things out and then...”
I release her and hurry into the bathroom. I watch myself in the mirror as I wash my face. I see an old man with black hair and purple eyes; a tired, fool man. I’m trying to see what’s wrong with me for believing that someone could have fallen in love with a monster like me, an alien whose people are long dead.
But, I can’t find an excuse.
Her words echo in my head so loudly that I lose the sense of time. Maybe an hour has passed or just a second; I don’t know how long it has been, but I find myself changing into my other self. I see the black matter cover the tips of my hands. I knew that someday I would have to use him to help me, but never in that way. Now, giving him control like that, I know it’s the last time.
Esuh of the Two Faces don’t cry; I’m sure of that now. Still, just before the dark matter engulfs me with its madness, I see one sparkling tear shyly leave my eye. Maybe I don’t know anything about the Esuh after all
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 16
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eladia
Ten minutes have passed since Jay got in the bathroom. I’ve never seen him look like that, begging for a second chance, acting crazy. I don’t want to see him suffer for me again. And what it truly makes this situation worse is that I feel relieved for telling all these things to him, to let the truth pour out of my soul like that.
Silver and Zan were right. No more lies. If he decides that he doesn’t want to change, then I’ll learn to live with that. Jay is not bad, not at all. He can be unpredictable and adventurous...just not like his other self. And that’s what makes all this situation twisted. I want the best of both worlds, but if I can’t have that, then I choose the one that I know I’ll have more fun with.
Dark Jay makes me laugh, feel good about myself and gives me a reason to want to come back. Silver Jay is the calm power, the man that will be there even in the boring days, the logic behind passion.
It would be great if these two could truly be one, but I have long given up on that notion. Jay is who he is; the same thing applies to his other self. They both have their ups and downs, and I’m here fucking them up both.
Suddenly, the bathroom door opens. I get on my feet and head there. “Jay, I...” I start saying, meaning to apologize, when I see him.
“I heard you’ve been looking for me,” Dark Jay says.
I stop in my tracks and check him from head to toes, not believing that Jay would go so far just to please me. He must really love me after all, and I chose his darker self to repay him for that.
Unfortunately, love doesn’t work like that.
“Yeah, that’s true,” I reply, trying my best not to start giggling like an infatuated teenager.
“Well, here I am honey. I’m all yours now,” he says, casting a wide grin at me.
Seeing him act like that, like a shameless child happy just to be alive and well, it makes me already feel better for choosing him over Silver Jay. He has that strange effect on me, a kind of lure that makes me want to tear his clothes apart and toss him on the bed just by seeing him.
A moment ago, I wasn’t in the mood for sex, but now, seeing him examine my body with that lustful look of his, strange thoughts invade my mind.
“I’m sure. Before that, though, there’s something we have to discuss,” I say, doing my best not to take off my clothes right now.
“Okay. Speak. What do you want? Do you want me to get down on you first or maybe you want me to use my magic fingers to stir up your libido?” he says and winks at me while smiling.
Jay and his dirty jokes. Well, he’s a work in progress after all. Maybe after some time, he won’t talk like that all the time.
“No. Not that. I have to know. What are your feelings towards me? What do you see when you’re looking at me?”
He stops smiling; I’m not used to his face being serious like that. Even when he’s slaughtering his enemies, he does it with an impish smile and devilishly, red eyes.
“I know it must have been difficult for you to choose me, the bad wolf, over my other self. I wish I could promise you that I’ll be as good as him. A gentleman, or a kind man, or fuck, everything you want me to be. But my whole existence relies upon killing, pillaging, and challenging people stronger than me. I love you, Eladia, I really do. And that won’t change. But don’t make me change to fit you better or you might end up not loving me back.”
When he stops, I’m standing there, gawping at him, fighting the impulse to applaud him. Hell, he’s right. I fell in love with him not because he’s unpredictable and adventurous. He’s the only man that doesn’t need to change to make me like him. And that turns me on. It really makes me want to ride him here, on the spot.
Now I’m the one having dirty thoughts all the time. God, I have to get my act together. I was just having sex with his other self all day yesterday, and the day before that. I should have been satisfied by now.
“You’re awfully quiet. Did I pass the test little lady or not?” he says as he sits next to me.
He’s starting to caress my bare hand with his finger, touching my skin, electrifying my whole existence with his smooth aura. He moves his finger on my shoulder and then on my face. He touches my cheeks, my nose and then heads straight for my mouth. I’m breathing slowly, trying to hold back, but I can’t.
My mouth is half open; he uses his finger to invade it. I start licking it, sucking it in, playing with it. Soon, I can see him laughing, probably being ticklish or something, but I continue. I grab his hand and make him put another finger in there. I start sucking them both and he starts fucking my mouth with his hand. He does it subtly, slowly, and yet, it gets me horny in mere moments.
“I see you learned some new tricks,” he comments.
I stop licking his fingers to laugh it off.
“You know you’re a dumbass, right?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ve been told the same thing times and times again. Now, you didn’t tell me. Did I pass the test?”
I get on my knees and look him on the face. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
I use my hands to lower the zip of his pants. He doesn’t wear anything below; he’s naked, his dick rock hard, pointing straight to my mouth.
Without hesitating, and without waiting for him to get totally naked, I put his dick in my mouth. He tastes the same but somehow feels different. Jay now pushes his cock deep into my mouth, making me choke once. It doesn’t matter, though. The only thing that does matter is seeing him mutter the word “yes” again and again, to moan behind his teeth lost in a whirl of lewdness.
We’re still fully clothed, but I can’t take this anymore. I want him to fuck me. I get on my feet and get naked in front of him, slowly taking my clothes off. He does the same, removing his pants to release his dick from his tight pants. His muscles swell when he grabs me and tosses me on the bed.
“I see you want me to get inside you,” he says, using his fingers to feel my wet pus
sy. Just his finger touching me would’ve been enough, but I want to feel the whole of him inside me.
“I’ve been dreaming about this so hard,” Jay says, whispering. He slowly thrusts his dick into my vagina. I can feel his fingers while he’s trying to find my hole by caressing me. “You’re so fucking hot. I want to tear you apart.”
And then he gets inside me. I’m not able to talk anymore. I’m just trying to breathe. If I say anything, I will lose control and cum. He’s moving slowly at first, trying to get used to my rhythm, but soon, he’s picking up his pace.
Alien Romance Box Set: Alien Cube: The Sci-FI Alien Invasion Romance (Books 1-5) Page 28