by Mia Caldwell
She grimaced, shaking her head. “I should tell you, I would have hated a date like that.”
He looked crestfallen. “You’re not a Knicks fan?”
She gave him a quick look of disdain. “I’m not even sure if they play football or basketball, if that answers your question. I’m not a sports fan, though I do like hot dogs, and I’ve been known to drink the occasional beer.”
He was silent for a moment, as though thinking, before he started speaking again. “In that case, let me rewrite our first date. I picked you up at your house, and we went for a walk in Central Park. We stopped for hotdogs, and then lay on the grass and just talked for a while. After that, I showed you my plans for the prototype that was in construction, and then I took you home and gave you a very sweet good night kiss.”
“Just a kiss?” she asked as she started looking for the appropriate exit for the Henderson Center.
“Of course. Even an uncouth man-whore like me can tell that you’re not a woman who would let me get away with more than that on the first date. Of course I wanted more, but I was happy just to have that single kiss, and I relived that moment for weeks on end.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that she might make an exception for him, but she bit back the impulse. That would be carrying their fiction too far, into the realms of an area she didn’t want to even begin to discuss. No one was likely to ask about their sex life together. They didn’t have to establish fictional parameters for that, so it was best to shy away from that entirely. Still, feeling like she was flirting with danger, she dared to ask, “You didn’t get handsy at all?”
He chuckled softly. “I wanted to, but I respect you too much to rush you, Angelina.”
The exit was approaching, and she merged smoothly over to take it, her heart thumping erratically in her chest as she did so. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but he sounded so sincere when he spoke those words that she wasn’t entirely certain whether they were part of the fiction he was creating, or if they were really the truth. Did he truly respect her, or was it just a way to manipulate her? She had no idea and was no closer to determining his motivations when they drew up to the facility a few minutes later.
***
After signing in for visitor passes, they had made their way into the sparkling clean facility, and she had been pleased to note there were a variety of people mingling on the lawn once they passed the high walls and gated entrance. No one appeared to be wandering aimlessly, and from what she could observe, there were enough staff to patients to ensure everyone remained safe.
They had met with the director shortly thereafter, and Karen Winwood had showed them the facility, taking them on a complete tour of the grounds and the dormitories. If she chose to enroll Kevin in the facility, he would be in the dorm of single apartments, which would allow him a small level of autonomy, since he didn’t respond well to strangers.
He wouldn’t have done well with a roommate with whom he was unfamiliar, and the rooms appeared to be safe and surprisingly spacious. There were no hot plates or any other devices that could lead to Kevin injuring himself, and she was pleased to find out he was assigned a coach for the first few weeks, someone who would remain by his side until he settled in and grew familiar with the routine and found his own groove.
As she toured the grounds, she was certain this was the place for Kevin. It reminded her so much of their summer camping trips in the Adirondacks, when Kevin had blossomed, seeming at peace and sometimes even openly communicative, amid the natural beauty around him. By the time the tour had concluded, she was ready to fill out the papers and left a sizable check to secure Kevin’s spot.
There was an opening in less than a week, and she knew it would leave her just enough time to prepare him and gather his things. There was a hitch in her chest at the idea of leaving him behind the next time she drove through the gates, knowing he would be separated from her for the first time since he was born, but she knew it was also the right thing for him. She couldn’t give Kevin everything he needed, but she had a good feeling about the Henderson Center and was certain they could.
She was surprised when Connor reached over and put a hand on her thigh, squeezing reassuringly. She looked over at him with surprise, briefly taking her gaze from the road ahead.
“It seemed like a really nice place, though I’m certain you’re having a difficult time with the idea. I remember how angry I was when my father sent Lizzie off to boarding school. She called and begged me not to let him make her go, but I couldn’t do anything to stop him. She was a late baby, a total surprise for Dad and Mom, and after Mom died, Dad wasn’t really in a position to take care of her.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I wasn’t either, and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my racing career to take care of her, but I felt guilty about it. I still do, but I know Lizzie is happy where she is now. Dad asked her if she wanted to come back home to stay a couple years ago, but she told him she wanted to finish school and graduate from her boarding school with her friends.”
The peek into him was a bit unsettling, and she tried to mask her discomfort. “That must have been tough.” Not tough enough for him to give up his dream, but she couldn’t really fault him for that. It was a difficult situation to end up being the guardian of a sibling, when he was only a few years younger than yourself, but who needed you for everything.
She had gone through it herself, and continued to do so on a daily basis, and she had dealt with Kevin’s disability since the time he was a baby. It would have been a lot to ask a young twenty-something Connor to abandon his dreams to prevent his sister from going to boarding school.
“Anyway, the point I was trying to make was she adjusted and adapted, and now Lizzie actually loves it. Sure, it’s going to be difficult for you and Kevin both to start with, but if it’s anything like it was with Lizzie, he’ll probably end up really liking the place, and you’ll know you made the right decision.”
She was touched by his awkward attempt to comfort her or assuage her guilt. “I already know I’m making the right decision, Connor, though I do feel guilty about it. The truth is, I just can’t manage Kevin any longer, especially when he’s aggressive. He certainly doesn’t mean to hurt anyone, and most of the time, he’s quiet and withdrawn.”
“Does he interact with you at all?”
“Sometimes.” She switched lanes before continuing. “I used to live for those moments when he’d make eye contact and allow us to hug him, but those days are few and far between now that Dad and Granny are both gone. I’m sure Kevin loves me as much as I love him, but I’m not able to bridge the gap with him the way my dad could, or Granny could, to a lesser extent. He’s been deprived of what he needs to thrive by staying with me, and though I don’t want to let him go or feel like I sent him away, I think it’s the right thing to do.”
She was surprised he suddenly stretched over and ran his thumb across her cheek. She would have demanded to know what he was doing, but it was at that moment she realized tears were streaming down her face, and she took the tissue he offered from the console with a small smile as she dabbed at her damp face. “That doesn’t mean it’s not hard, course.”
He nodded, looking sympathetic. “I know we aren’t really engaged, but if I can help you in any way through this transition, don’t be afraid to call and let me know. I’ll do what I can for you, especially since you’re doing such a huge favor for me.”
They were perilously close to having a moment, and she deliberately pulled back, doing her best to remove the intimacy from the encounter. “For a price,” she reminded him stoically.
He appeared to wince for a moment, but then his expression morphed to one of distance. “Yes, for a price. That doesn’t mean it’s any less helpful on your part.”
“And thank you for your offer of help, Connor. It means a lot.” It really did, especially coming from the man she had assumed was little more than a self-absorbed man-whore, always chasing the
next race. She was surprised to find he was capable of empathy. Surprised and disconcerted, because she didn’t like having her preconceived notions tossed on their head. It was simpler to have a narrow definition of Connor’s type, to have him rigidly pegged into that, and to know what she was dealing with from that perspective.
The realization that there was more to him than what she had assumed was unwelcome, simply because it was making her warm up to him. If she started to genuinely like Connor, then she was more apt to do something completely stupid, like develop feelings for the man that she was ostensibly engaged to, but was supposed to dump harshly in the next month before the wedding.
She had to avoid that at all costs. It was simply a matter of self-preservation.
Chapter Five
Angelina managed to avoid Carly for the next few days as she prepared Kevin for his move, but her luck ran out Thursday morning. The doorbell rang at ten a.m., and she barely smothered a groan when she saw Carly standing on her doorstep, along with five other women. They politely ran roughshod over her as a mutual force pushing their way into the house on a wave of chatter and expensive perfumes that didn’t mingle completely pleasantly.
She was stunned by their myriad requests, with each woman wanting to discuss a different facet of the wedding. Carly was the coordinator, and she had brought along the caterer, florist, seamstress, and organist.
Feeling overwhelmed, she seated them at the kitchen table and started the kettle to offer tea, since she had no coffee in the house, while doing her best answer the questions thrown at her amid the women’s overlapping conversations. They had all clearly worked together before and were at ease, and while they were all perfectly polite and warm, it still was a bit like being surrounded by a murder of crows all cawing at her at the same time.
They were a noisy, chattering bunch, but she was growing more accustomed to it as they all sipped tea, and the women asked questions, and each offering input. She found it almost amusing how the florist had an opinion about buffet or sit-down for the meal, and the seamstress expressed her delight when the organist suggested something besides the traditional “Wedding March” for the trip down the aisle.
She admired their close-knit friendships and experienced a small pang as she realized she didn’t have any close friends. The last few have drifted away after Granny died, when Kevin had required almost all of her attention, and her job for Connor had taken up the rest.
She was laughing at something Leanne, the florist, had said when Kevin shuffled into the kitchen, and she knew immediately he was upset. She started to get to her feet, but she wasn’t in time to keep Kevin from banging his head against the wall several times before she could reach him.
She put her hand on his arm. “Shush, Kevin, it’s okay. Don’t hurt yourself, baby.” Immediately, she realized all the noise in the kitchen must have been what set him off. He wasn’t good with strangers or loud noises, and the group gathered in the kitchen had clearly upset him.
She turned briefly away from Kevin to face them, nearly overwhelmed by the sympathy in the five pairs of eyes gazing back at her. It was enough to make moisture fill her eyes. “I’m afraid we’ll have to do this some other time. Kevin is upset by new people, and we’re being too loud. Later in the week—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Kevin had turned around, swinging his arms wildly in front of him as though to ward off imaginary blows. Unfortunately, his arm connected with her face and sent her flying into the refrigerator. Her cheek ached where he’d hit her, and stars danced behind her eyes from where the side of her head had collided with the refrigerator.
She was weak and woozy, and a second later, she collapsed to the floor. Angelina blinked her eyes, trying to focus on Kevin and the problem at hand, but unable to keep her eyes open. She was vaguely aware of two of the women crouching down to check on her, and she thought she saw Carly approaching Kevin cautiously. “No. Stay back,” she warned, though each syllable cost a considerable amount of effort to push through her lips. When Kevin was like this, he was unpredictable and unconsciously aggressive.
She wasn’t certain why, but when she saw Kimberly, the organist, lift her cell phone, she said, “Call Connor.” Those were the last words she managed to say as she slipped into unconsciousness, surprised by how safe the idea of Connor arriving to take over made her feel. She knew he wouldn’t let anyone hurt Kevin, and he would be able to keep things calm. She hoped.
***
Angelina flinched at the light shining in her eyes, trying to turn away from it.
“No, not yet,” said the soothing voice. “I need to evaluate you for concussion.”
She mumbled something, and then it all came back to her. Her eyes snapped open wider, though the light hurt. “Kevin. What happened to Kevin?”
“Kevin is safe,” said a familiar voice from behind her.
The sound of Connor’s voice induced a form of relaxation that surprised her. It was even more surprising that when he came to slip his arm behind her waist, she let herself melt against him. She turned her head slightly to look at him, nonplussed by the way her gaze blurred at the edges, but happy to be able to see Connor without the blinding flash of pain she experienced from the light the doctor had shone in her eyes. “Where is Kevin?”
“He’s at the Henderson Center, Angelina.”
She let out a sound of distress. “He’s not due to go until Monday. He’s not ready yet.”
Connor’s mouth was set in a grim line. “There wasn’t another choice, Angelina. One of the ladies called emergency services, and police came along with the ambulance. They were going to take him into custody and place him in a state facility—”
She shook her head, regretting the motion as it made pain flare behind her eyes. “He didn’t attack me. It was an accident, and he didn’t know what he was doing.”
Connor held up a hand. “Whoa, I know. I explained that to them, and I told the officers he was due to go to the Henderson Center on Monday. They were still going to take him into custody, so I called Karen Winwood, and she agreed to take him early. The police escorted him to the facility after sedating him, and he made the trip in one ambulance, while you took another to the hospital. It was either send him to Henderson early, or allow him to be put into the state system. You might not have gotten him out after that.”
She sighed heavily. “I…I understand, but I wanted to be there with him when he got settled, to explain to him that I wasn’t abandoning him, and I’d be there to see him every weekend.”
Connor nodded, his hand rubbing her back in a soothing motion as the doctor checked her reflexes before standing back, clearly giving them a moment to finish the intense conversation. “That reminds me. Karen asked that you not visit for two weeks, to give him a chance to settle in. After this incident, he’ll be assigned a state social worker who will monitor his progress, so Karen wants him to have as smooth an integration as possible, to avoid you losing medical power-of-attorney.”
Tears came to her eyes as she realized how dire things had become. “Why did they have to called emergency services? Why couldn’t they have just left well enough alone?”
“You were unconscious, and you have a severe concussion,” said the doctor, clearly deciding to intrude on the conversation. “It’s a good thing someone called. This isn’t the sort of injury you sleep off and forget about. I’m going to keep you in the hospital at least overnight for observation, and to ensure your brain doesn’t swell any further. You were seriously injured today. Yyou should be grateful someone interceded and got you and your brother the help he needed.”
She was resentful of the doctor’s words, and it took everything she had not to snap at the other woman. Instead, she remained sullenly silent as the doctor finished the examination before deeming her ready to be moved to a room for the night.
After Dr. Whitaker left, she turned to Connor again. “How did Kevin look?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “I really don’t know. He was te
rrified and hitting out at everyone when I arrived, and I arrived just a few minutes before the cops and the ambulances came. They sedated him almost immediately, and he seemed on the edge of sleep for the rest of the time I saw him. He wasn’t wrapped in a straitjacket or anything for the trip to Henderson, so I don’t think he was overly traumatized by that. I’m not sure how he is, or will be anyway, after the drugs wear off, but it really was the only option.”
She nodded, a hollow ache in her stomach from just how greatly she had failed Kevin. If she hadn’t let in the wedding planners, none of this would have happened. If she’d had the money, or the courage, to commit to sending Kevin to a place that would help him sooner, this wouldn’t have happened either.
She hated how her baby brother had ended up arriving at the Henderson Center, and that she wouldn’t be able to visit him for a couple of weeks, and the guilt laid heavily on her. So did the pain in her throbbing head, and she collapsed against the exam table a few minutes later, almost grateful that she could just rest for an uninterrupted span of time.
For the first time since Granny had died, she would be able to let down her guard a bit and sleep without worrying about Kevin wandering away or getting up to do something dangerous, like make hot chocolate. He had done that one night, leaving the burner on High under the empty pot. The smoke detector had woken her up, and the heat had only scorched the pot, but it could have been a much worse outcome if she hadn’t kept the smoke detectors in peak condition. That was the last night she had slept deeply, she realized with a start, and that had been more than a year ago.
Once settled in her room, she was surprised to find Connor didn’t leave her. She was starting to feel groggy and was uncertain if that was from the concussion or medication they had given her in the IV that she’d awoken with. “You don’t have to stay,” she said in a hazy voice.
Connor shrugged. “I have nowhere else to be that’s even half as important.”