by L. E. Wilson
At work, Mark watched her with concerned eyes. He still didn’t know everything that had happened while she was gone. She’d only told him that she had followed up a lead on her sister, which had turned out to be nothing, and her wallet had gotten stolen while she was there. She knew he suspected that there was more to the story, but he hadn’t pushed her for more information. And for that, she was grateful.
Exhausted, she climbed the front steps, trudged across the porch and pulled open her screen door, holding it open with her foot while she unlocked her storm door.
Once inside, she flicked on the lights and went into the kitchen, dropping her purse and her gym bag on the counter. Her lunchtime runs on the treadmill were the only thing helping her to keep her sanity, although she had no idea where she was finding the energy to do it every day.
Walking over to the fridge, she filled a glass with water and swallowed it down thirstily. Setting it on the counter, she left the kitchen to go to her room to shower.
She was very careful not to look around too much. Too many memories. Memories she didn’t want to examine too closely.
But they came anyway. Always sneaking up on her when she least expected it, until she had to push them back into the secret corner of her heart where she had locked them away.
Upstairs, she stripped off her work attire and headed into the bathroom. She paused as she passed the mirror. Very slowly, she turned until she faced her reflection. Lifting her heavy eyelids, she gazed upon her nude form for the first time in seven years, looking for whatever it was that he’d seen in her.
He’d lied. She didn’t see anything beautiful. All she saw were ugly ragged scars.
With a harsh sob, she turned away and yanked on the shower, getting in before the water had a chance to heat up.
I won’t think about him. I won’t. I’m fine. He doesn’t deserve my concern, and I don’t need him.
She’d been repeating that mantra to herself every day since she’d gotten home. But as her anger receded and the days passed by, it became harder and harder to believe it.
Viscously, she scrubbed her hair and body, trying to scour off the lingering memories of his touch. But instead of erasing them, she only managed to sensitize her skin until every drop of water that hit her only fed her yearning to feel his hands on her.
Running her own hands over her breasts and belly, and lower still, she closed her eyes with a moan as the memories of him flooded through her. She missed him so much. His touch, his kiss…even his bite.
How could someone she’d only known a few days have gotten under her skin so severely?
Another sob escaped her as she wondered if she’d ever forget. Or if she even wanted to.
She wondered how long he would survive without her.
Her hands fell limply to her sides, her head hanging under the onslaught of hot water. Had she really condemned him to a death sentence by leaving him? The dull ache in her chest swelled to a fiery pain at the thought, and she realized it was time to admit the truth to herself. Much as she wanted to forget him, she didn’t think she’d ever forgive herself if she didn’t at least try to work something out.
He’d told her he had to drink directly from her, so sending him bags of her blood wouldn’t work, even if she could find someone who would do it. She’d have to let him drink from her. He could use her wrist. It didn’t have to be intimate. Except that it was always intimate between them. Her treacherous mind unveiled the memory of his eyes burning through her the last time he’d innocently drank from her wrist. After he burned himself trying to get to her.
Oh God.
Would she be able to resist him when he was drinking from her? How often would he have to do it?
Lifting her head and roughly wiping the tears and water from her face, she decided it didn’t matter. She couldn’t just let someone die. Not if she could prevent it. She hoped she wasn’t too late.
Feeling marginally better having made that decision, she shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, her soul lighter than it had been in weeks. Whether it was because her decision had been justified by her conviction to not let him die, or because she was just really happy to have the possibility of seeing him again …well, she wasn’t going to analyze that too closely.
Towel drying her hair and foregoing a comb to run her fingers through it, she grabbed her nightshirt off of the end of her bed and pulled it over her head. Tossing her towel into the hamper, she grabbed her comfortable, blue robe and headed downstairs to get something to eat, her appetite suddenly back.
She would try to call Nik tonight, she decided.
Oh wait, she didn’t know his number. She’d have to call the apartments he lived in…what were they called? And somehow try to convince them that he would want to speak to her. She wondered how tight the security was there.
What if he refused to talk to her?
A worried frown creased her brow as she stepped off of the bottom stair and turned the corner to go into the kitchen. Lifting her eyes from the floor, she gasped out loud, coming to an abrupt halt just inside the doorway.
***
Nikulas smiled to himself as he saw her round the corner in that ratty, blue robe, her bare feet peeking out from its uneven hemline. But as his eyes hungrily roved over her features, his smile quickly dissipated. She was pale and gaunt looking, even after her shower. Her eyes looked bruised from the dark circles under them.
His heart skipped in his chest. Was she sick? Could she be sick? She’d had his blood, but only that one time. And it had been weeks ago.
As she stood frozen, eyes wide with disbelief, he rose to his full height from the kitchen chair he’d been sprawled in as he’d waited for her, shifting uncomfortably as he remembered that she might not be happy to see him. He could have just called her, he supposed, and he’d meant to. He really had. But then, somehow, he’d found himself standing outside her house.
He ran his hands through his hair, pushing it back off of his face, then cleared his throat. “You’re door wasn’t locked, and I guess you never rescinded my invite,” he said in way of an explanation for his sudden appearance in her kitchen.
Smooth, man. Real smooth.
Emma glanced over at her front door in surprise, confusion spreading across her features. “I didn’t lock it?”
He shook his head. “No, you must’ve forgot.”
She lifted a hand towards him, but then lowered it again.
“Why are you here, Nik?” She kept her expression neutral, not giving anything away, as she waited for his answer.
He cleared his throat again nervously. “Um. Yeah. About that. I should’ve just called you instead of barging in like this, I know. I meant to. I really did. But, then, I just found myself here, outside your house. I was going to leave, and I did. The last time. But then I came back today. And I was about to leave again. But right then I saw you pull up and walk inside, and I just…didn’t…” He was rambling, but couldn’t seem to stop himself.
“How long have you been here?” she asked him quietly.
“A while.” His voice was husky with emotion. He’d been here every night for the last week.
Letting her leave in that hummer had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. And not just because of his vampire instincts to protect his mate. He didn’t know how he’d lasted as long as he had before coming here.
They faced off across the small space between them, until Emma broke the tense silence. “I want to apologize for the way I acted, and for the things I said. I was angry, and worried about my sister.”
“Oh, yeah! Keira!” Nik interrupted her, snapping his fingers, as he remembered the reason he was there.
Emma took a hesitant step forward. “What about Keira? I haven’t heard anything from her. Is she all right? Is she coming home?”
Nik held up his hands, fending off her questions. “She’s fine. That’s what I wanted to tell you. She and my brother are…ah…working things out,” he finished lamely.
&nbs
p; “What does that mean, exactly? Where is she?” Emma asked with a frown.
“She’s with Luukas. Back at the apartment. He’s in really bad shape, Em. Something seems to have snapped in there.” He tapped the side of his head with his finger.
As her eyes creased with worry, he quickly tried to reassure her. “But, Keira…she seems to help him. She calms him somehow. I don’t know.” He shrugged.
“If she’s ok, why hasn’t she called me at least?” Emma asked suspiciously.
Nik scratched his head, reminiscent of his missing best friend, while he thought of how to word his answer. “She was a little…tied up…for a while with him. And he destroyed all of the phones in the apartment, which is why she asked me to let you know she was ok. She wanted me to tell you that she’d be in touch as soon as she could, but for you not to worry.”
“Oh.” So that’s why he was here. “Ok. Thank you.” She pulled her robe tighter. “Have you heard anything about Aiden?”
His face closed off. “No.”
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I’m sure he’s ok.”
He wasn’t too sure about that, but he nodded his thanks.
With everything having been said, the tension in the air gradually thickened in the silence. They both fidgeted, staring at each other longingly, but neither seeming to know what to say or do to bridge the gap between them.
I should just go, Nik thought. Picking up his hoodie from the back of the chair where he’d dropped it, he prepared to leave.
“Are you thirsty?” Emma blurted. “For me? For my blood, I mean.”
Nik paused with his arm midway through the sleeve, his fangs punching down and his mouth salivating at her words. Clenching his jaw, he resumed putting his hoodie on without answering her. Zipping it up, he went to move past her and leave, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest.
“Nikulas. Are you thirsty?” she persisted.
His body hardened immediately at her touch. Her hand on his chest was like a branding iron, even through his clothing. Her sweet scent permeated the air, stronger this close to her.
His fangs, and his heart, ached at her offer. “That’s not why I came here, Em,” he managed to get out. He tried to go, but her small hand was like a wall of force, holding him there.
Looking up at him, her own eyes were worried. “Nik. I didn’t mean what I said. I do care what happens to you. I can’t just let you die.”
His blue eyes glowed brightly in anger. “I don’t need your pity, Emma.”
“It’s not pity!” she threw back at him, dropping her hand. “I care about you! I want you to live! I want you to…” Her mouth snapped shut with an audible ‘click’.
“Nik, please.” She held out her wrist to him. “Just take what you need.”
His eyes flew to her offered wrist. He could see the delicate blue veins pulsing strongly just beneath the surface. Grinding his teeth, he drew his will power around him like a shield. “Take care, Emma.” Squeezing past her, he pulled the door open and slammed out the screen door.
“Nikulas!” Emma ran out after him into the cool night air. “Please don’t vamp off into the night on me.” Her voice was thick with unshed tears. “Please, stay.”
He stopped walking, but didn’t turn around. “It’s better this way, Em. Please don’t torture yourself. It’s ok. Really. It is.” He started walking again. “Take care of yourself.”
He heard her run down off of the porch behind him. “I love you!” she yelled at his retreating back. She ground to a halt, immediately slapping her hand over her mouth.
Nik pulled up short halfway across the yard. What had she just said?
His back still to her, he turned his head to the side so she could hear him. “What did you just say?”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Emma stood barefoot in the soft grass of her front yard, still shocked at what had just come out of her mouth, but unable to take it back. She wished he’d turn around so she could see his face. Was he laughing at her? Angry at her? Or was he hurting too?
Oh, what the hell. Just tell him. What have I got to lose? She dropped her hand back down to her side.
“I said, I love you. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay. Here. With me.” She wished she could think of something more eloquent, but that was about the gist of it.
Holding her breath, she waited to see what he would do.
Nik spun around on his heel to face her fully, his need for her written all over his face. His expression was open, honest…nervous. Lowering her walls, she left her emotions bare to him, wishing he would scoop her up and take her back into the house and straight up her bedroom, where she could properly show him how much she’d missed him.
When he didn’t respond, Emma felt the ache blossoming in her chest, bigger than before. A single tear escaped and rolled down her face. “Am I too late?” she asked.
***
Nik struggled to hold himself in check as his emotions, too many emotions, washed through him. Happiness. Doubt. Guilt. Hope. Hunger.
Haltingly, he took a step towards her. Then another. And another, picking up speed until he was so close she had to crane her neck to look up at him.
His hands shook with barely controlled restraint as he raised them to cup her face, his smoldering blue eyes roving lovingly over her features. “Do you mean that, Em? Don’t say it if you don’t. Please, don’t…don’t say it out of guilt. So I’ll feed. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing. None of this was your choice. I know that. And the last thing I want to do is trap you into a situation you don’t want.”
Raising her hands, she wrapped them around his wrists, holding his hands to her face as another tear slid down her cheek to disappear under his palm. “I’ve been so miserable the last few weeks. I told myself it was just because I was worried about my sister, but it wasn’t just that. I’ve missed you so much, Nik.” Her face crumpled as she began to cry in earnest. “Please, stay with me. I need you so much…I…” She dwindled off, her eyes pleading with him to believe her.
“Shhhh.” Nik wiped her tears away with his thumbs. He felt the truth of her words flow through him, her emotions flooding through him to twist together with his own. Not as strong as usual since it had been so long since they’d been together, but still there.
Lifting her face to his, he pressed a soft kiss on each closed eye, on her nose, and finally her mouth. His entire body shuddered at the feel of her under his lips, and he felt her own body tremble in response.
He couldn’t put into words the extent his body, and his heart, had craved her these last two weeks. She was his entire world now. Being away from her for so long had been an agony he’d never felt before. He couldn’t even concentrate on what he needed to do to get Aiden back. All he thought about was Emma.
Breaking off the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ve missed you too. So much, Em. Of course I’ll stay with you. Where else would I go?”
Fresh tears welled in her eyes. Happy tears this time, he hoped. Her smile widened to match his as he wrapped his big arms around her, lifting her feet off of the ground. Squeezing her so hard she couldn’t breath; he planted a sound kiss right on her mouth. Her giggle was the sweetest thing he’d ever heard.
Sliding one hand under her pert ass, Nik lifted her up until she wrapped her legs around his waist. He kept his hand there to hold her up as his other hand slid up to the back of her neck, tucking her face into the curve of his neck and shoulder as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. He needed to get them inside, and quickly. Before he took her outside on the ground like an animal.
A low growl rumbled deep in his throat as he felt her soft lips kiss the skin on his neck, and he strode determinedly back to the house as quickly as he could.
***
Emma breathed in Nik’s masculine scent as he whisked them back into the house, dropping a kiss on the cool skin of his neck. He felt colder than usual, and her brow furrowed in concern. He gave her no time to worr
y more about it, however.
Taking the stairs two at a time at supernatural speed, he took her straight up to her bedroom and carefully laid her down on her old quilt, lowering himself between her legs. Her robe split open and her nightshirt hiked up until she was bare to him, his jeans rough on her sensitive skin as he rolled his hips into her softness. She welcomed his weight with open arms, wrapping them around him, and slid her fingers into his dark blonde hair as he dropped his head down and took her mouth.
She gasped at the feel of him on top of her again, and he took the opportunity to thrust his tongue inside, beginning a rhythm that matched his hips pressing into her. She sighed happily as he took control, kissing her like a starving man.
Nik moaned as her legs fell open of their own accord to welcome him, the lusty sound causing a rush of desire to surge through her. The scent of it wafted through the air as she arched up into him, rubbing herself against him. She could feel his cock throbbing, even through his jeans, as he pushed his swollen member against her soft folds, over and over, the friction causing a deep ache to start deep within her.
As his hardness rubbed her clit, Emma gasped, the heat of him burning her. Wanting him closer, she tried to work her hands between them to help him get out of those clothes, but he grabbed her wrists, holding them on either side of her head as his mouth wandered across her jaw and down her neck.
She heard him inhale deeply as he paused there, and she tilted her head away to give him better access. Breathing hard, she ached for the pleasure/pain of his bite. But he just kissed the tender skin softly and kept going, kissing his way across her collarbone, and down her chest until her shirt got in the way.
Letting go of one of her wrists, he lifted himself off of her just enough to get his hand in there. Grabbing a fistful of material in one hand, he gave a pull, effortlessly tearing the material completely in half. Rearing up to sit on his heels, he put a hand behind her neck and sat her up with him, yanking the ruined nightshirt and her old, ratty robe out from under her.