The next time I glance up at the clock, it’s almost four forty-five. “Oh my Goddess.” I scramble out of my chair. “You have to leave—Aiden is going to be here in fifteen minutes.”
Lexy pouts. “I thought you said it was okay with him for me to come by? Why can’t I stay and meet him?”
“He said it was okay as long as I kept on the harness,” I say. I’m already on my feet and tugging at her arm, trying to get her up and out of the house. “But I took it off. He’s already pissed at me for disobeying him last night—I don’t need him to be even angrier.”
Lexy frowns and crosses her arms. “And what happens when he gets mad? Does he beat you? Because there are limits, Emma, even for the Sacrifice Laws.”
“No, it’s that he doesn’t beat me,” I say, thinking of last night. “He doesn’t whip me or kiss me or tuck me in or anything. He just gets all cold and withdrawn.” Just thinking of the look on Aiden’s face last night makes my chest tight. I really, really don’t want to go through that again.
Lexy looks thoughtful. “Hmm. An emotionally withholding vampire. Now what you have to do is—”
“What I have to do get you out of here so I can put that stupid harness back on before he gets home. Which is going to be in…” I glance at the clock. “Ten minutes. Hurry up, Lexy—move your ass!”
“Well you don’t have to be rude about it,” she huffs, but at least she’s moving now. I shoo her out of the house with multiple promises of more get togethers and lunches by the pool. But despite my attempt to hurry, I still only have five minutes to get back into the harness and try to look normal by the time she finally drives off.
Feeling like Cinderella at five ‘til midnight, I rush for the bedroom, stripping off my clothes as I go. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Next time Lexy comes over I’ll set the alarm on my phone and get rid of her a whole hour before Aiden gets home. That is, if there is a next time. If he catches me without the harness on and I let on that I took it off because I didn’t want to wear it in front of my cousin, he might ban her from the house.
My thoughts are chaotic and my hands are trembling as I finally manage to get free of my clothing and start strapping the harness back on. The loop around my right thigh goes surprisingly well, the thin leather strap folding into place around my flesh as though it was made for me. I insert the vibrator—making sure it’s all the way off first—and then go to work on the second strap.
And this is where I run into trouble. The strap is stiff and it doesn’t want to fasten. I push and wiggle, trying to get it threaded through the tiny silver buckle but it doesn’t want to budge. A quick glance at the grandfather clock says it’s one minute until five. I still haven’t heard the crunch of tires on the shell driveway but Aiden could be here at any minute.
In desperation, I return my attention to the stubborn strap. I have managed to feed the thin leather through the silver buckle but now it won’t come out the other side. Cursing under my breath, I give a mighty yank…and hear a sharp pop. With dread I open my hand to see that one entire side of the strap has torn off and is lying like a dead snake in my palm.
I stand there for a minute, just looking at it. Oh my Goddess, what have I done? What have I done? Panic rises in my throat but I push it back down. Grimly, I examine the damage. Maybe I can tie the leather straps back together and then…
“Don’t bother. It’s broken.”
Chapter Seventeen
The deep, familiar voice from behind me makes my heart sink. I turn slowly to see Aiden standing there, wearing a disapproving look on his face.
“Master,” I begin. “I can explain…”
“No explanation is needed,” he says crisply. “I can see well enough that you’ve disobeyed me.”
Feeling backed into a corner, I try a counter attack. “How did you even get here? I never heard your car driving in.”
“I saw your cousin driving away as I was coming up the drive. I stopped the car and walked the last bit of the way.”
“In order to sneak up on me!” I say accusingly. “You were hoping to catch me doing something wrong.”
“No, I was hoping not to.” He frowns. “I was afraid you’d disobey orders and remove the harness if you had your cousin over.”
“Why shouldn’t I?” I demand. “It’s one thing to wear it around you, but it’s just plain weird to have it on around family.”
“It was my order that you wear it without fail all day, every day,” Aiden says quietly. “You agreed to that, Emma.” He takes a step toward me, looming over me, looking every inch the intimidating vampire master that he is. “I also gave orders that you not touch yourself.”
I feel my cheeks getting hot. “What…what are you talking about?”
Aiden looks at me angrily. “Don’t lie to me, Emma—I can stand anything but that. I can tell you’ve allowed yourself a sexual release.”
Now I’m blushing all over. “How can you possibly know that?”
He lifts his nose and inhales deeply as though testing the air. “I can smell it,” he says, his voice dropping to a menacing purr. “Your pent up desire, your desperate release. You deliberately disobeyed my orders and made yourself come.”
I open my mouth to deny it…then remember my crazy multiple orgasm-fest when I was trying to get the damn harness off. “Okay,” I say at last. “I did but it wasn’t deliberate. It was an accident.”
He raises one very skeptical eyebrow at me. “You had an orgasm by accident? Emma, do you think I’m stupid?”
“No, of course not! But if you’d just let me explain—”
“Let me explain something to you.” He grips my chin firmly with his long, cool fingers and holds my eyes with his own, speaking with a quiet intensity that shuts me up. “I need your sexual tension just as I need your complete submission. Not just for me—there are other forces at work, other things at stake than just the two of us and this petty little game we’re playing.”
“What other things?” I demand. “Why don’t you just tell me instead of hinting around all the time? I’m the one who’s expected to submit. I’m the one who has to wear harnesses and straps and let you fuck me naked in public. Did it ever occur to you that if there’s a bigger reason for all this, maybe I’d like to be in on the secret too?”
His face is closed and he drops his hand, releasing my chin from his punishing grip. “You’ll know everything in the fullness of time. But not now—not yet.”
“When?” I explode, so full of frustration I can’t hold back anymore. “When are you going to tell me? Or are you just going to keep me in the dark as long as it suits you? Is that how you treated Katherine?”
His gray eyes flash silver and I know at once I’ve gone too far. I shrink back away from him but he never lifts a hand to me. He just stands there, looking at me. “Where did you hear that name?” His voice is cold and quiet but his eyes are terrible to look at.
“It doesn’t matter where I heard it,” I say, but the courage has leaked out of me at the sight of those eyes. It’s not just anger I see in their silvery depths but pain—somehow I have wounded him. And though I’m hurt and upset and completely pissed off, I never wanted that. Never wanted to hurt him. “You loved her, didn’t you?” I say softly. “Would you have kept her in the dark if there was something important going on?”
“No.” His voice is bitter and he finally looks away. “It was she who kept me in the dark. And then her secrets killed her.”
“Aiden—” I start to say but he shakes his head.
“No more. I cannot speak of this.” He turns to go, his broad shoulders tense under his expensive gray suit jacket.
“Wait!” I exclaim. “What about dinner? And…everything else?” I’m trying to ask him if we’ll ever get back to our regular routine. It seemed bizarre to me at first but now it’s the norm and well, I miss it. I miss Aiden. His hands on me, his lips and mouth exploring my body, the soft, caressing way he calls me 'darling'. But now, even though he’s standing
in the same room with me, he seems remote—unreachable. It’s as though he is standing on a distant mountaintop I can’t climb.
“Aiden,” I whisper. “Master, please…”
“I’ll have Barnes bring a tray to your room,” he says, not turning around. “Your education is suspended for now. Do as you please.” Then he stalks out of the room. I hear his footsteps and then the heavy sound of the front door closing.
And I know he is gone.
I mope around the room the rest of the evening and finally go to bed early after barely picking at the tray Barnes brought me. I’m so miserable I can hardly see straight, which is stupid, right? Anyone would think I had fallen in love with Aiden James and was depressed because he didn’t love me back. Which is stupid—too stupid for words.
But not too stupid for tears. When I finally turn out the lights and slide beneath the sheets, I feel them hot and salty on my cheeks. Angrily, I swipe them away. What’s wrong with me? Why do I care so much if he’s unhappy with me? If I hurt his feelings? He hurt mine too, damn it! And he’s clearly keeping secrets—not telling me things I need to know. There’s a mystery here somewhere and Aiden is trying his damndest to keep me from solving it.
I tell myself these things and try to work up a good fit of righteous indignation but all I can manage is a horrible headache right behind my eyes. Goddess, there’s no use denying it—I have feelings for that damn vampire. And it makes me miserable to be fighting with him.
You more than have feelings—you love him, whispers a little voice in my head but I push it away. I can’t be in love with my vampire master. After all, our arrangement may feel like an eternity sometimes, but it’s strictly temporary. The Laws of the Sacrifice state that once a year is up, I’ll be set free. Then, Aiden will choose someone else—another Sacrifice at next year’s Sacrifice Ceremony. And he’ll probably find one who’s a lot more compliant and eager to be mastered than me. Someone who’s prettier and slimmer and not a dud and…Goddess, I hate her already and I don’t even know who she is! But just the idea of anyone else with Aiden makes me feel crazy.
I don’t know how long I lie awake in the darkness, tossing and turning, my brain churning in endless circles. Because Aiden has told me to do as I like, I put on a silky white nightgown I found in the back of the wardrobe out of spite. I’m not sleeping naked if I don’t have to! I tell myself defiantly.
But the nightgown keeps getting twisted around my hips and bunching up underneath me. It’s irritating in the extreme and after a month of sleeping nude, it feels too hot and confining. Finally I pull it off and drop it over the side of the bed. Then and only then, when I feel the cool whisper of the sheets against my naked body, do I finally drop off to sleep.
An uneasy dream twists my thoughts. Someone is hurting someone I love. Someone who takes care of me, who I need to take care of in turn. They are coming for her but I won’t let them hurt her! I’ll fight—I’ll show them what I can do, that I’m not too little or too young to control the power. I’ll show them…
Bright orange shadows dance against my closed eyelids, driving the uneasy dream away. Somehow I know that something is wrong. I open my eyes to see flames flickering around the curtains of one of my windows. The smell of smoke assaults my nose. Panic leaps inside me like a living thing—fire! My room’s on fire!
I jump out of bed and run for the door but the metal knob burns my hand. I jump back with a cry. Black smoke is seeping under the door and the flaming curtains have fallen onto the bed where I was lying just a minute ago.
I go to the other window, the one not yet on fire, but I’m small, my arms are those of a child. There’s no way I can lift the heavy glass and wood. I push against it anyway, trying with all my might, not wanting to die in the hell my room has become.
Outside the glass I see a face. A leering, laughing, swarthy face with short stubby horns on its forehead. He is mouthing something to me but I can’t hear his words. I know one thing though—if I go out, I’ll be in as much danger there as I am here in the burning house.
With a little moan, I back away from the window. I find a dark corner and curl into a ball, my arms wrapped around my knees. I don’t know what else to do.
“Emma? Emma!” A familiar voice screams my name. The door burst open and I see my mother standing there. She is coughing and choking, the smoke filling her lungs but still her first thought is of me. Seeing me in the corner, she runs to pull me into her arms. “Oh sweetheart!”
“Mamma?” I’m crying now, my hot face pressed to her neck. “I’m scared.”
“Don’t be,” she tells me. “We’ll get out of this but you have to be very, very brave. Now tuck your head in like this…”She tucks my exposed head and hands into my long nightgown and holds me close to her body like a precious bundle. “I’m going to run through the house, Emma,” she tells me. “It’s on fire but I’m going to use magic to keep us safe—to keep you safe. Do you understand?”
From within the protective covering of my nightgown, I murmur a muffled, “Yes, Mamma.” But I’m not sure how she’s going to do it. Even as a young witch who hasn’t yet come into her powers, I know that fire is the easiest element to call…and the most difficult and dangerous to control. Not only that, it’s drawn to witches—it hungers for us. That’s why our kind was burned at the stake in the old days—once the flames tasted them, there wasn’t enough magic in the world to keep from being burned alive. But the sound of my mother’s voice says she’s going to try.
“Here we go, sweetheart!” I feel the swaying motion of her running, still clutching me tight to her. The heat is intense, the flames licking at us like hungry tongues but somehow my Mother keeps them off. I hear her chanting under her breath, feel the magic flowing out of her like water…like blood.
Even as a child I know this isn’t right. She’s giving too much, expending too much energy—too much life force. It’s as though she’s cut a vital artery in her arm and the flow is all that is keeping us safe from the flames. But how long can she keep it up? And how can she live if she gives herself away so recklessly?
I hear her voice weakening and the swaying is more pronounced. She is stumbling now, fighting her way through the burning house with only one thing in mind—saving me. Getting me out in time before the blazing roof collapses. I don’t know how I know that’s what she’s thinking but I do. And then I know something else—she doesn’t think she’s going to make it herself.
I want to push my head out of my nightgown and protest. To tell her she has to stay with me—that she can’t leave me. Like so many free-spirited witches, my mother is a single parent. She’s all I have in the world. Oh, I have other family but none so dear to me as her. None whose hearts are linked to mine by an unbreakable bond.
Suddenly I hear a loud thumping—like someone banging on something. I push my head up and out of the confines of my nightgown and find myself almost suffocating with smoke. My mother has reached the front door of our modest little house. She is still clutching me to her but she can’t get the door open. She’s kicking it with her bare foot as she jiggles the knob, all while still keeping me safe in her arms. I can feel her distress rising, like a silver mist between us. Please, she’s thinking, throwing her thoughts out into the night like a cry for help. Just help me save my baby. Just help me save Emma…
Suddenly the door leaps open, as though someone has yanked it from the outside. I tumble out of my mother’s arms and onto the hard wooden porch, bruising both knees. I turn, expecting to see that she’s come with me, out of the inferno.
Instead I see her still in the house—just inside the doorway—wreathed in flames.
“Mamma!” I try to go to her but something or someone holds me back. A strength I cannot fathom is keeping me from getting to her. “Mamma!” I scream again but she only shakes her head.
“Go, Emma!” she shouts above the roar of the flames. “I love you but you have to go!”
“Come with me!” I beg, still reaching for her.
“I can’t.” Her long, ebony hair is alight, the black turned to an orange and red and gold corona by the flickering, hungry flames. “I can’t, Emma. The fire, once called, demands a sacrifice. Go!”
I don’t understand her words. I only know that my mother is burning…burning… I struggle in the strong grip of whoever is holding me back.
“Keep her safe,” my mother cries, as the flames consume her. “You are oath-bound to protect her!”
“I will,” a deep voice says. And then he is taking me away, taking me to safety while my mother burns. “Don’t look,” he tells me. “You don’t want to see.”
“Mamma! Mamma!” I scream and beat against his back but he pays me no attention. He moves me swiftly away from the burning house and out into the dark yard. Out there, among the trees, I see a swarthy face—the man with horns—coming for me. But when he sees my protector, he scowls.
“She is not for you,” the man holding me says. “Tell your masters she is not to be touched.”
“She’s safe—for now. When the power of her blood manifests—”
“She is not to be touched,” my protector grates. “She’s under my protection.”
“We’ll see about that.” The horned man fades into the darkness between the trees, laughing. He leaves an unpleasant, musky odor behind that lingers long after his ugly chuckle has faded. When he’s gone, my thoughts return to the horror I have just witnessed.
“Mamma,” I whisper brokenly.
“She’s gone, darling,” murmurs a soft voice. “I’m so sorry. She’s gone. Gone…”
“Gone…” I wake up crying, as I always do from The Dream.
What exactly happened that night—the night of the fire that I always dream about and can never quite remember? I can recall very few details. I remember crying inconsolably. Strong arms carrying me and a deep, soothing voice telling me I would be all right. The dark, smoke-smelling night folding around us. And then my rescuer, whoever he was, depositing me in my aunt’s arms. “She’s yours now. Take care of her.”
The Sacrifice Page 18