She took another step and slithered down the bank, and would have ended up on her bottom if Javier hadn’t caught her elbow. She turned, laughing, her feet sinking deeper into the damp sand, her hand on his chest to steady herself – and looked up.
Talk about serious. He was giving her the strangest, searching look. A look that sent a giddy feeling of anticipation swirling in her stomach. She felt her fingers curl against the warm, solid wall of his chest, but all she was really aware of was the look in his eyes. She was holding her breath, she didn’t know why. She wanted to say something, but she was afraid that whatever she said would be wrong.
‘It is fantastic.’ The syrupy warm voice blocked out the sound of the sea, the birds. Everything. He was still looking straight at her and her stomach was slipping away faster than the sand beneath her feet.
He reached up, brushed a strand of hair back from her face. Still not smiling.
She opened her mouth to say something, anything.
Then the corner of his mouth tipped up, and he glanced away.
Took half a step back so that the contact between them was lost. He casually put his hand back in his pocket. Cleared his throat. ‘The sand drops away quite quickly, it’s difficult to walk along the shoreline unless you don’t mind getting wet.’
Daisy searched his face, but she could have imagined he’d ever been looking at her in the way he had. ‘I don’t mind.’ She swallowed, the words sounding strange and distant even to her own ears.
He grinned. ‘No you don’t, do you?’ And the moment had gone, the relaxed Javier back. ‘Come on.’
He hauled her back up the small bank as though nothing had ever happened and Daisy fell into step with him. Okay, so there had been a moment there. She had definitely not imagined that. When she’d last seen him and he’d insisted he did really want to be with her it had left her feeling stupidly happy, optimistic in a way she couldn’t remember ever feeling. Even if he didn’t want to be with her in that way, he was still spending time with her because he wanted to, not out of some sense of duty. But now her stomach was doing little flips in a way that was leaving her feeling all jittery and she knew that when she went back to Tippermere, the sights and sounds might fade in her memory, but the time she’d spent with this man would have left a mark on her for ever.
They walked in companionable silence. Near enough to touch hands. But they didn’t. The only thing missing was a dog.
‘You should have brought Poppy.’
‘She doesn’t approve of the cats.’
‘What cats?’
‘Come on, it’s not far but we need to go back up on the path.’ He held out a hand as they reached the steps and she took it. After all, if Flo or Anna had done the same she wouldn’t have hesitated, would she?
They walked alongside the railway track, until it snaked its way into a tunnel, and the path meandered its way round the large rocky outcrop. On the right of them was the huge mound, through which the trains continued their journey, and on the left the beach – which ended abruptly in a pile of roughly hewn rocks.
‘There’s a cat over there.’ Daisy screwed up her eyes at the unmistakable outline of a cat sitting on the top of the rocks, and as her eyes adjusted she picked out a second, and a third.
‘It’s like a cat commune.’
‘Hippy cats. Oh my God, look at them sunbathing!’
He laughed at her reaction. ‘There’s more over there.’ His eyes gleamed, the wrinkles fanning out, his full mouth smiling broadly as he gestured towards the mound. ‘I haven’t a clue how they all came to live here, I guess there were one or two strays and they just multiplied.’
‘Well I suppose there’s plenty of shelter.’ Between the rocks, Daisy was sure she spotted a tail, then another cat disappeared down a crack.
‘And people feed them. They’ve got all they need,’ he gave her a sidelong look, ‘and freedom.’
She laughed. ‘I hope you’re not suggesting I come and live down here to get the full hands-on experience.’
‘You’d probably get fleas.’
They sat down on one of the rocks and Daisy watched the cats potter around, some stretched out on the rocks soaking up the winter sunshine, others stalking pigeons with a casual carelessness that had to mean they weren’t hungry.
‘Not a bad life though, apart from the fleas.’
‘A bit like mine used to be. Living on rocks. Shall we make a move?’
She gave him a sideways look, unwilling to let him just skip over the comment. He seemed to be so good at finding out about her, and she seemed to know so little about him. ‘You’re a bit of a free spirit at heart, aren’t you?’
‘A nomad.’ He grinned, then it faded. ‘But we all have to grow up at some point.’
‘Do we?’
His smile was slightly twisted, he was staring beyond the rocks, at something only he could see. ‘You get older, there’s family, responsibilities. You know how it goes.’
‘And give up white-water rafting and danger?’
‘There’s other people who rely on you as you get older, aren’t there? When Mum died it was a bit of a wake-up call, but it didn’t really stop me, I didn’t give up. But then my sister’s husband died and it hit home; she needed me to still be around. Risking my neck was wrong.’
‘God, I’m so sorry, Javier. My dad used to say I was born with an old head, I seem to be doing my selfish bit now.’
‘I guess I was very selfish when I was young, like most of us are. But you aren’t being selfish, Daisy. You’re not letting anybody down.’ He sighed, then seemed to dismiss whatever thought had been on his mind and she had a feeling it was better not to press him. ‘Come on, it’s too beautiful a day to get all serious.’
They made a move, wandered along the coast up towards the next railway station. Apart for the occasional jogger, and one or two people walking dogs, they didn’t see anybody.
‘It’s lovely and quiet isn’t it? Hard to believe we’re so close to a city.’
‘Barcelona is like that. Come up the coast a few miles and it’s nearly all locals, or even if you just head up to Montjuic or around Tibidabo you can find some peace and quiet.’
‘And space – all this open space, blue sky, and just the sound of birds and the waves rolling in.’
‘Soul food. Which,’ he glanced at his watch, ‘speaking of food, I’m surprised you’ve not demanded any yet.’
‘I was too busy paddling.’
‘We can have tapas at Badalona, or head back? I’m afraid I’ve got work this afternoon,’ he gave a broad smile, then winked, ‘paying customers, so I’ll have to love you and leave you, but I can take you up in the hills to get a night-time view of the city from above if you like? Later?’
***
Daisy still hadn’t quite mastered the getting-on-and-off-the-scooter thing, especially in heels, but it was easier second time around. And she knew how to wrap her scarf round properly.
‘I’m impressed.’ Javier started up the engine. ‘I did think about going up to the Battery again, but it’s a bit cold up there. This place will be better and the view is nearly as good.’
‘And this place is?’
‘The Tibidabo mountain, we’re not going to the top but to a café in the square just below. Hang on tight.’
She did. Well to his pockets, because wrapping her arms round seemed a bit forward, and dangerous at a hormonal level, and most people riding pillion on a scooter seemed very cool and casual about it. She’d even seen one reading a map. But it was nice with the heat of his body in front of hers, and her head tucked in so that she didn’t get quite so windblown.
‘I’m used to helmet head with my riding hat,’ she pulled the helmet off and handed it over so he could stow it in the back-box, ‘but with this all my hair gets tangled too. Look it’s gone all into ringlets.’
He wound one round his finger, then shook his head and gave a rueful smile that she couldn’t work out. Maybe he didn’t like curls. ‘Coffee
time.’
The café didn’t look much from the outside, but once they stepped in, Daisy could see the attraction. It was fairly quiet, so they managed to grab a table by the front window.
‘Wow, that is some amazing view.’
He sat down next to her and ordered the drinks. ‘We’re not quite as high up as last time, but it isn’t bad, is it?’
‘You can even see the planes going into the airport.’ It was like a giant jigsaw puzzle, the criss-cross of streets leading out to the sea in one direction, and across the city to the hills in the other. All lit up. ‘It is so pretty.’
Out of the corner of her eye she could see he was studying her intently in a slightly unnerving way, then he put his coffee cup down. ‘It is pretty. Amazing. Like you.’ And he kissed her. She was pretty sure he hadn’t been aiming for her cheek and missed, this one seemed on target. Like he meant it. The taste of coffee teased her nostrils, mixed with the musky scent she’d become accustomed to. He didn’t touch her. Didn’t reach out. He just leaned in and let his lips make contact with hers. And something inside her melted, all gooey, swirling round. She closed her eyes, felt her lips tremble beneath his. Wanted more, and just as she felt herself falling closer he drew back, wound one of her ringlets round his finger and studied it for a moment before looking up.
‘I wanted to do that on the beach.’ An unfamiliar note of uncertainty had crept into his voice. ‘I wish you were here a bit longer.’
‘Me too.’ That came out a bit squeaky, like she was being strangled rather than, well, caressed. He stroked down her cheek gently with his thumb. Then picked his cup up again and watched her over the brim. Serious for once. She cleared her throat and tried again. ‘I wish I could stay for longer. The time’s whizzing by far too quickly.’
‘Do you think you’ll come back? If you could make it next year… I could show you what springtime is like in Barcelona.’
‘I don’t know. I er, well it’s difficult with all my commitments, the animals and my work, and I’m pretty broke really, and…’ no Jimmy wasn’t a problem, she wasn’t about to add that. She knew. She’d known, she supposed, from the very moment he proposed, that it wasn’t right. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she wasn’t going to send a Dear John. Needed to explain to him that it was over, that his dad wasn’t going to get grandkids any day soon. ‘I would like to though.’ She really would. Leaving Barcelona, leaving Javier would be like leaving a part of her behind. She’d never thought that any place could feel more special than her home did. She had thought this trip would be a break that would be entertaining, fun, a collection of memories that would fade like snapshots over time. Now she wasn’t sure. Whatever happened next, whether she came back or not, this journey had changed her forever. Javier had changed her. ‘One day.’
‘So that’s a no, not really, then.’ His grin was slightly strained as he stood up. ‘I will miss you.’
Daisy looked up, startled at his words, the tone of his voice.
‘I wish I could, but I can’t follow you back, Daisy, that’s why I’ve been trying to stop this—’ he gestured between them, ‘happening. I can’t do it, I’m not free to do what I want these days. If we’d met a couple of years ago it would have been different, but,’ he shrugged, ‘I can’t just abandon my sister and I don’t even know how long she’ll need me here for. I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry.’
‘Javier I—’ She paused, not sure what she was going to say. ‘I’ll miss you too, but I’ve not gone yet.’ It sounded lame, she wasn’t saying any of the things she wanted to say. Like how much she’d really miss this place, and him. Oh yes, definitely him. ‘I’m not sorry you did it.’ It came out all small and soft, but she was pretty sure he’d heard.
He gave a wry smile. ‘Drink up. We’d better get back.’ His tone was flat and she didn’t know how to respond. ‘We’ll drive through the centre so that you can see the Christmas lights in style. It’s an experience you really shouldn’t miss.’ The unspoken ‘in case you never come back’ hung between them.
It was a sight she was glad she hadn’t missed, even though it felt bitter-sweet now. They streaked along the main roads and zig-zagged along the minor ones, in and out of the traffic. Each area had a different style of lights strung across the streets – some colourful, some twinkly silver-blue, some flamboyant, some subdued.
The cool air made her eyes water, the wind tugged at her hair, and she leant into his warm, lean body not sure how she felt about that gentle lingering kiss. How she felt about this reserved, warm-hearted man who managed to stir her up even when he was keeping his distance. Why the way he’d stopped so abruptly and decided to head back had brought a pain to her chest.
He didn’t say another word all the way down, until he pulled the scooter up right outside her door. He didn’t turn the engine off.
‘Thanks, it was lovely.’ She handed the helmet over and he took it, his fingers just brushing hers ever so slightly, but still sending a flutter of butterflies to the pit of her stomach.
‘You’re welcome. I’m afraid I’ve got stuff on tomorrow.’
‘That’s fine, don’t worry, there are loads of things…’
‘You could get a train up to Sitges if you’re feeling adventurous. There’s a beach, lots of cafés and quaint streets in the old part.’
‘Sure.’
‘The trains go from the main station across the road. Or catch the bus up to Montjuic; it’s great up there, lovely gardens.’
‘I’ll find something to do.’ It wouldn’t be the same without him though.
‘You’ll be okay?’ He was looking at her as though he didn’t want to go, and she really wanted to reach out, kiss him again.
‘I’ll be fine.’
‘You’re sure?’ He hesitated, still astride the scooter.
‘Positive.’
He leant across and kissed her cheek. ‘Goodnight then, Daisy.’
‘Night, and thanks again.’ She watched him speed off, then pushed the old iron door shut behind her and started to walk slowly up the stairs, her hand up to her face, covering the spot where his lips had been.
She couldn’t get involved, she still wasn’t uninvolved, and she couldn’t promise to come back soon, however much she’d like to. She had a home she loved, things she had to do. And he had his own responsibilities, duties, and she knew all about having those. It had been her sense of duty to the life she had that had stopped her exploring, tasting life.
Falling for Javier had been easy because of the man he was, his passion, the way he cared. And he cared for his sister, and needed to be here for her. Which meant he couldn’t be anywhere else. It all made sense, perfect logical sense, but Daisy wasn’t sure she was quite as keen on logic as she had been.
She sighed. She really was daft. Falling in love with a city was one thing, but falling for a man who kept telling her he couldn’t get involved was something she hadn’t bargained on at all.
Chapter 18 – Flo. Living the other dream
Flo didn’t quite know what to make of the invitation he’d thrown her way.
‘You said you wanted to come back and experience the whole Tippermere thing again, so you can’t leave without going to the annual charity bash at Tipping House.’
‘Well I’ve never been before.’ She hadn’t. ‘I didn’t mix with the posh people like you do.’
‘They’re not posh – for heaven’s sake, Billy Brinkley will probably be there.’
‘That’s posh where I come from.’ Olympic-medal-winning riders, the local huntsmen, footballers’ wives (and of course the footballers) from Kitterly Heath. ‘They’re not really my kind—’
‘Nonsense. You’ll love it – it’s a right piss-up.’
‘I won’t know what to say to anybody.’ She’d be star-struck – they’d all look at her like she was an interloper.
‘Now who’d have thought little Miss Nightingale would get cold feet?’
‘I warned you about calling me that!’
>
‘You’ll be off home soon, so why not try it?’ He paused. ‘You’d be doing me a favour actually. I keep getting text messages from women, with heavy hints.’
‘And you expect me to feel sorry for you? You bring it on yourself.’
‘I know,’ he shrugged, ‘but I don’t want to take any of them along, I want to take you.’
For a moment his grey eyes looked completely serious, then the twitch of his mouth was back. ‘You’re more fun, more of a challenge.’
She’d ignore that one. But, he was right. She’d have to leave all this behind again soon – and at one time she would have killed for an invite to the social event of Tippermere’s calendar. ‘I would like to see inside Tipping House, I suppose.’
‘Good, because I RSVP’d last night after you gave me the cold shoulder. You don’t think I’ve given up that easily, do you?’ The grin was pure wolf. ‘I’ll run you into Kitterly to get a frock.’
***
The snow crunched under their feet, already succumbing to the cold night air, as Flo and Hugo walked down the path. It would be like an ice rink by the time they got back, which wasn’t a good thought.
He caught her elbow as one heel slipped. ‘Is this part of your evil plan then?’
‘Of course.’ The grin was broad as he inclined his head towards hers so that she got a whiff of expensive aftershave. It had to be expensive because it was kind of not there, but it was. A delicious aroma that made you want to breathe it in, but then you needed more. Rather than the cheap type that caught in the back of your throat and made you gag. ‘I had to get you out of those wellingtons somehow.’
She pulled her jacket closer and hoped she wasn’t overdressed. She’d fallen in love with the strappy sandals and not thought about the practicalities of the heels in a snowdrift, but the dress had been very much on the ‘would look fab on somebody else’ list – until the owner of the boutique had found out where she was going and insisted she try it on. It did look good. Very good.
‘I hope I’m not overdressed.’
‘Darling, you cannot be overdressed at this function.’ He put his best upper-class drawl on. ‘It’s impossible with some of the totty that turns up.’
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