She swallowed the disappointment down and ignored the prickle of tears. She was being totally stupid. Her adventure had been amazing – better than amazing. She wanted to be more than a dutiful wife. She deserved to have some of her dreams come true. Even if she needed to have slightly more realistic expectations. Like not expecting the first dishy man that came along to be swept off his feet.
‘Daisy.’
Daisy swirled round, her heart hammering. There was only one person with a voice like that. One heartbreakingly gorgeous man, who it would be easier to hate.
‘Daisy, thank God I caught you. What are you doing? What’s happened?’ Javier put a hand on her arm, which made her go all hot and cross. He was looking at her with a concern that made her stomach lurch. She knew she was doing strange contortions, trying to move so he’d let go without actually being too obvious, and without losing her place in the queue. Or dropping her phone. The man behind grunted and shoved his case into her ankle, claiming back the three millimetres of his space she’d strayed onto. ‘Where’ve you been?’
‘What do you mean, what am I doing? I’m going home, didn’t you get my message? What are you doing here, Javier?’
Everybody else in the queue looked round. Great, she had an audience. And he had a puzzled frown on his face. That, coupled with the fact he was still touching her, and a hot flush was shooting through her body, made her glare.
She shouldn’t be cross with him though, she had to be calm; it wasn’t his fault that she’d thought the kiss meant anything at all. He was just being nice. Or not nice. I mean, you shouldn’t kiss one girl when you were practically married to another one, should you? Not even a peck. Well, not on the lips. And she would never have thought he would be that type of man. Which was why it had made her so cross, and sad, and proved she should stay away. From all of them.
‘Is somebody ill?’
‘Ill?’ She frowned. ‘No, nobody’s ill. Why’ve you followed me?’
‘I thought something terrible must have happened for you to race off without explaining. What did you mean in your text?’
‘I’m going back to England, cutting my holiday short.’ It was pretty obvious, wasn’t it?
‘I don’t mean that bit. You said I was relieved of duty.’ The frown had deepened and he was ruffling his fingers through the shock of dark hair.
‘It was really kind of you to look after—’
‘I told you, I wasn’t looking after you for Flo. I wasn’t being kind, I wanted to show you round, I wanted to be with you.’
Sure. She’d believed that for a time, but now she wasn’t sure what to believe. ‘Well fine, if you say so, thank you anyway.’
‘I do say so. You didn’t reply to my text, you did get it, didn’t you?’
Well she had seen another text from him when she was on her way to the airport, but she really hadn’t wanted to read it. She had to stop thinking about him, move on to whatever came next. Well, she’d been trying until he turned up.
She shrugged. ‘I haven’t read it.’
‘I don’t understand, I thought…’
‘I was in a hurry.’ Why, oh why, had she said that? She didn’t need to excuse herself.
‘The guy downstairs in the shop told me he’d seen you with a suitcase, so I knew you’d already set off here. Daisy, I don’t get it.’ He was still running his fingers through his dark hair distractedly and her fingers twitched with the urge to stop him. The woman in front of her turned to look and nudged her husband. ‘You never said anything about going home when I saw you. If it was nothing urgent, why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I only just decided.’
‘But if you’re not bothered about me, what about your dreams, Daisy? About doing things? Is it so bad here? What happened to the girl who was having a good time, I never thought you were somebody who would just give up, abandon everything.’
I never thought you were the smooth-operator, two-timing type. She could say it, but she wouldn’t because he actually hadn’t been. It was just her fault for thinking he was being more than just nice and friendly. He was being nice. ‘I’m not abandoning anything,’ she said crossly, wishing she could just push him out of the way, but that would be rude. ‘I’ve got real-life stuff to deal with and I’ve to go back.’
‘To Jimmy?’
‘No,’ she tried not to glare, but she knew she was, and she was pretty sure she’d just stamped her foot. ‘No, not to Jimmy. I need to go back because Flo has set the bloody house on fire. Okay?’
‘If you’d let me know, I would have given you a lift here.’
‘I thought you were probably busy again. And I was in a rush.’
‘Too much of a rush to say goodbye?’ His voice was so gentle, with a raw edge to it, that her stomach twisted. But how could he be like this? What did he care?
‘I’m sorry. I should have…’ She dropped her voice abruptly when she realised she was close to shouting and now had a very interested audience. ‘I didn’t text you and ask for a lift because… oh it’s complicated.’ She spat the words out, the same ones he’d uttered to her, because it just wasn’t fair. People were looking, so she dropped her voice to a hiss. ‘I’ve had a holiday and now I’m going back. And why are you here anyway? You still haven’t said.’ She probably looked like a mad, spitting alley cat, but she didn’t care any longer.
He folded his arms, his voice tight. ‘Because I wanted to know the real reason, I thought maybe somebody had died or something had happened to Mabel, I thought you’d have explained otherwise, but it seems I got things wrong.’ He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘Looks like I’ve been a bit of an idiot.’
‘What do you mean, got things wrong? Why should I tell you what I’m doing, after all it’s you, you…’ She stopped herself short, wondering what the hell he meant about being an idiot. ‘Look Javier, I am not giving up on anything, so don’t make this about me being in the wrong.’ She had to say it. ‘You’re the one that was all for sending me up the coast out of the way for the day.’
‘Out of the way?’ He looked puzzled. ‘Why would I want you out of the way? I told you I had things to…’
‘To do, yeah. You’re the one that’s got the bloody complications, the, the,’ what was she, wife? Girlfriend? Ex? ‘The family.’
‘Family?’
‘Family! Like your girlfriend, or partner, or whatever you want to call her, and your child.’ Okay she hadn’t meant to say it, she’d wanted to just calmly walk away, but he’d cornered her and maybe it was better out than in, as her dad would say.
‘Child?’ He stared as though he hadn’t got a clue what she was talking about, which meant he had to be a very good actor or have a serious memory problem. How could he be like that? That was the really upsetting bit, that he’d seemed so open, so honest. And now this; he wasn’t even prepared to be up front and admit what she’d seen with her own eyes. Tears of angry frustration were pricking at the back of her eyes. How could she have been so bloody naïve and stupid?
‘Oh, for God’s sake. Don’t worry about it. There’s nothing to explain.’ She did push him out of the way then, because the queue had moved and she wasn’t going to risk losing her place. It was easier not to talk about it, to shut down, shut herself off, and make sure she never made the same stupid mistake again.
There wasn’t anything to explain – he didn’t owe her anything, nothing had happened between them. Even though she did feel let down. Duped. She folded her arms. Oh hell, no, she couldn’t just not say anything more. She couldn’t just leave it. ‘What I don’t understand is why you had to lie about it though?’
‘Lie? Look Daisy stop being so stubborn and listen to me. I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about, but I really wish I had. Especially,’ he frowned, ‘seeing as I seem to somehow be in the wrong here.’
‘You told me you weren’t in a relationship – that it was over.’
‘I’m not, it is.’
‘Not that I care.’
/> ‘You don’t care?’ There was the slightest fan of wrinkles round his eyes, the hint of a lift to his lips.
‘No!’
‘I’d hate to see you when you do care about something.’
Now he was really annoying her. How could he be so bloody flippant? ‘I saw you with your little boy, Javier.’
‘I haven’t got a child.’ The frown deepened. Then something softened in his expression, his voice lost its edge, and he looked almost relieved. ‘A toddler?’ He did a ‘so-high’ gesture with his hand and she nodded. ‘You saw me with Jaime.’ He sighed. ‘So this is what this is about. Look, come over here and talk to me,’ he stared at the woman behind her, ‘in private.’
‘I’m buying a plane ticket and I’m going home, and it’s none of your business.’
‘Maybe it isn’t, but I know you shouldn’t be going home to marry Jimmy. He’s not the right man for you.’
‘You’re right, he’s not.’
‘Then stay.’ His blue eyes locked with hers in a challenge she didn’t understand. ‘And apologise.’
‘Why? Why should I stay?’ She paused. ‘And I really don’t think I’m the one that has anything to apologise about.’ She wasn’t the one who’d lied, covered things up. She felt suddenly tired. ‘I know you said things were complicated. Well I get it now, you’re too busy for me and it’s got nothing to do with your sister. It’s been really kind of you to look after me, but I’m not actually a baby, I can look after myself.’ She looked down at the floor. ‘It was just a shock realising that you had a family relying on you; it would have been nice if you’d told me.’
‘Okay I made a mistake not explaining properly. I admit it. But that’s all, Jaime isn’t my son, Daisy. I haven’t got any kids, girlfriend, anything. Honestly. Stop for a moment and look at me. I told you it was complicated.’ He’d somehow got closer, close enough to touch. He put a finger under her chin and waited for her to look at him, meet his gaze. ‘It’s very complicated, but I’ve never lied to you. For God’s sake, I thought you trusted me, Daisy? I thought we had something.’
There was a hard edge to his voice that she hadn’t heard before, a frustration mingled with something that could have been anger in his eyes. But he was still so beautiful. In fact, like this he was even more striking. An amazing man she’d wanted to believe in. The tears were threatening again and Daisy swallowed hard to get rid of the blockage in her throat.
It had never occurred to her not to trust him. He’d looked after her, spent time with her, kissed her so gently her legs had gone wobbly and she’d felt like she mattered.
‘I did.’ And that was the trouble; she’d completely, utterly trusted him. Trusted her own instincts. Trusted him. That was why it hurt so much to think she’d made a massive mistake. But now he was telling her she hadn’t, that he’d thought they had something, so what was she supposed to think?
‘It doesn’t look that way from where I’m standing.’ He shook his head. ‘There isn’t anybody else. I really think I should be the one that’s angry here, not you.’ He held a hand up to stop her interrupting. ‘I know I should have explained earlier, but I want to do it now and if you still want to go home after that then I won’t try and stop you. I’d really like us to be friends when you go, friends with good memories, even if you don’t seem to be bothered.’
He really did seem cross with her. ‘I am bothered, actually.’ It came out all small and feeble, but she was. She was also confused by this new, determined Javier. She dragged her suitcase over to the row of seats and sat down heavily. ‘So tell.’
‘This has got everything to do with my sister, Daisy. Jaime is my sister’s son. It was my little sister, Gabi, that you saw me with.’
Daisy stared as relief flooded through her, and she was pretty sure her mouth was open. ‘Your sister? That’s your sister, but I—’
‘My sister. I thought you knew her? You met her at that get-together, didn’t you?’
‘We were never introduced, I just assumed…’ The reality hit properly. ‘Oh God.’ She put a hand over her mouth and felt like the biggest, blackest hole ever had opened up in front of her and her stomach dropped into it. How could she have been so stupid and jumped to a conclusion like that? He’d never ever done anything but be honest and open, and she’d let an irrational flood of jealousy swamp all logic. ‘I am so sorry.’ The words came out on a whisper.
What kind of a person was she to imagine the worst of such an amazing man? Well, of anybody. Infatuated was probably the answer, but it wasn’t an acceptable excuse.
‘Why didn’t you at least ask me?’ His mouth was twisted in a look that spelled out pure disappointment. ‘I don’t get why you didn’t stop and say hello, say something, then all this…’ He waved a hand.
‘I just,’ she couldn’t look into his eyes, but she knew she had to, ‘I took the easy way out.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I ran away.’ At the first hint of something, somebody, really important in her life she’d acted the coward and grasped the first excuse she could to avoid baring her soul, leaving herself open to disappointment, heartache.
She wanted to grab him, kiss him, laugh, cry, but all she could do was stare and hope he’d forgive her.
He was looking at her in that intense way he had, totally serious and all of sudden she was desperate to see the fan of wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, see his mouth curl up. See him happy. Have him forgive her for being such a stupid, stupid fool.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Me too.’ She wasn’t one hundred per cent sure what that meant, and knew she was holding her breath to see what came next. ‘Let’s go back, talk about this properly?’
He wedged her suitcase between his feet at the front of the scooter, and she was jammed in behind him as they sped back into the city centre, not knowing whether to wrap her arms round him and let that irresistible familiar smell invade her senses, or keep as far away as possible. Which was tricky. Given their close proximity. And the fact he probably thought she was the last person he should ever get into a relationship with.
‘I’ll carry your case up for you.’
‘No, it’s okay. You’ve done enough.’
‘Daisy.’ The exasperated splutter was so unlike Javier that she forgot about hanging on and let him have the bag. And trudged behind him, counting the eighty-four steps and wondering what was going to happen when they got to the top. It was awkward. Very awkward. And following his trim backside and muscled thighs made it worse. And she couldn’t exactly close her eyes.
‘I meant it, I wasn’t going home to Jimmy.’
‘Okay, good, and I meant that there wasn’t anybody else, Daisy. But I did think you knew who Gabi was, I thought you knew she was my sister.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘With a dog.’
Daisy grimaced and plopped down on the sofa. She was such an idiot, and she’d acted totally out of character. She never normally threw accusations at people or assumed the worse. ‘I remember seeing Gabi on that first night. But I just thought…’ she put her hands over her face, ‘well I got it in my head then she must be your girlfriend. I don’t know what came over me, I really don’t know why I reacted like that. You’ve never done anything but be honest and kind.’ She’d been jealous, mad jealous in a way she’d never been before.
‘Gabi isn’t my girlfriend, but she is my complication, Daisy. Like I said to you, she’s the reason I came back here, to Barcelona, why I stopped travelling and started this business. She needs me, she’s on her own with Jaime and it’s not always easy for her. After Mum died …’ He shrugged. ‘It hit her harder than me, they were really close and then,’ he paused, ‘well then Jamie’s dad went too and it was all too much for her.’ His tone had softened. ‘She had a baby to look after, a funeral to sort, her whole world had collapsed. So I packed in my job and came here, and promised I’d stay as long as she needs me.’
‘Poor Gabi.’ She didn’t know what else to say.
‘I mean, she doesn’t really ask for much;
she’d kill me if she thought I was saying that. She’s pretty self-sufficient, but kids can be hard work. She needs a break sometimes, somebody to chat to. We all need somebody, don’t we?’ He looked at her and her heart twisted. How could she ever have suspected him of trying to deceive her? ‘It’s no hardship, I love it here and I love her, but that’s why I thought until she’s on her feet it was better not to get too involved with anybody. My ex wasn’t too impressed when I turned up on a date with a toddler in tow.’ He gave a twisted grin, and Daisy couldn’t help smiling back. ‘I wasn’t trying to keep it secret, but when you said you’d probably never come back here it seemed pointless to even try and explain, you obviously didn’t feel the same way I did.’
‘When you took me for coffee? Asked if I’d come back in the spring?’
He nodded and walked over to the window, so she followed him. Tentatively put a hand on the broad back. ‘I didn’t mean I didn’t want to see you, it was just a surprise, I was trying to work out—’
‘How you felt?’
‘No.’ She paused. ‘That kiss was the best thing…’ God this was difficult to put into words. ‘Javier, nobody has ever made me feel like you do, I’ve never been kissed like that before,’ she held up a hand when it looked like he was about to speak. She needed to get this out, put it into words, for her own sake as well as his. ‘Jimmy’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had and he’s just never made me feel like you do. And then, when you asked me if I’d come back.’ She stared at him, willing him to understand. ‘I was just trying to work out in my head how I could come back, when I could.’ She sighed. ‘Then you rushed off after, hardly said a word. And I thought it was me being stupid, making something out of nothing.’
‘My feelings aren’t nothing, Daisy, if only you knew how hard it’s been to resist you, I’d been dying to kiss you for a long time. I rushed off,’ his voice was oh so gentle, ‘because I was upset you’d said no, when I thought I’d got you all wrong, that I didn’t mean anything to you.’
The Holiday Swap Page 25