by B. Love
He would always be looking over his shoulder and wanting to go back home freely without worrying if that would be the time he’d be captured.
It was better this way… that’s what he kept telling himself.
Jason waited until the sun had set fully to stand and head out to the patio. The sight was beautiful. The ombre blue waves of the ocean were right underneath their feet, and the clouds were big, puffy, and beautiful. At the sound of the patio door sliding, Makayla looked back at him with a smile. Jason loved this woman more than he thought was fucking possible. Even though his loyalty would always be to the streets first, she was a close second. A mistress in a sense. Whenever he spent too much time with one, he’d feel as if he was cheating on the other. While Makayla said she understood and accepted the code he lived by, Jason often wondered if one day what he offered would no longer be enough.
Makayla was young, only twenty-eight, what did she really know about life? Hell, one day she’d probably want marriage and babies, for him to settle down and go legit, none of which Jason would ever be able to offer her. He’d become her protector the night he and Kannon found her wandering the streets years ago. Neither knew the horrible nightmare she was trying to escape at home because of her sister’s murder or how close the trio would get when he approached, but there wasn’t shit about their ten years of knowing Makayla that Jason would change.
Still, a part of him wondered if she’d be better off when he left. Able to live a normal life, be with a normal man, have a normal family. She said it wasn’t, but if that’s what she wanted… Makayla deserved all that.
“Hey,” she spoke softly, wrapping her arms around herself.
She’d always been the affectionate type, but she stifled herself to appease him. Jason’s mother had never shown him love and affection, so the shit had been foreign to him since he was a kid. If he wasn’t fucking, he really didn’t see the need to have a woman all in his personal space. It was little shit like that that made Jason even more sure that she’d be better off without him. Yeah, she’d be mad about it, but she’d get over it.
“You enjoyed yourself today?” Jason walked over to her, smiling as she nodded.
“I did. This was so needed. For all of us. I’m glad you made this choice, Jason. And I’m glad Kannon came, too. He needed to get away.”
“I agree. I need you to promise me something.”
Her head tilted as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Whatever you need.”
“Promise me that you’ll always look after him. You can get to him in ways I can’t. You know I don’t talk much or express my feelings well, and I for damn sure don’t give feelings beyond anger too freely, so he needs you now more than ever. Help him get through this, Mak.”
Her head nodded rapidly. “Of course.”
“No matter what, if anything happens to me, don’t ever leave him, aight?”
Makayla’s brows wrinkled as she stared at him. Her eyes blinked softly as she tried to remove herself from his grasp, but he held her tighter.
“I don’t like your tone. Is everything okay?”
He nodded. “Everything’s good. Just promise me. Shit has been crazy lately. I just need that reassurance.”
Makayla softened in his arms as she smiled. “I promise. If anything happens to you, I’ll remain in his life. Always.”
“Good.”
Jason tilted her head back and placed a kiss to her forehead. At six-five, he towered over her five-three frame. Wrapping her legs around his waist, Jason carried her over to the bed that was on the right side of the patio.
“I get scuba diving, sightseeing, a spa trip and dick all in one day? Let me find out I get this treatment when we spend some time apart.”
Jason chuckled as he laid her down on her back. “Shut your silly ass up,” he commanded softly. “You act like a nigga don’t spoil you.”
“You do, but not like this. I only get this kind of treatment with you for holidays and birthdays. You might send me on a vacation whenever I want, but it’s different when I get to experience things like this with you. I want you to spoil me with you. Your time.”
“You really love me, don’t you?” Jason realized as he hovered over her.
“More than anything in this world. I love you so fucking much, Jason Weaver, and I’m so happy to be here in this moment with you.”
Her declaration stabbed at his heart. Needing to keep himself from changing his mind about the plans he’d made, Jason lowered himself to her and kissed her. That wasn’t really his thing, but she loved it and it turned her on. She moaned into his mouth and spread her legs wider, invited him closer. As he continued to tangle his tongue with hers, Makayla’s hands slid under his shirt. Though he may not have cared for affection, especially public displays of it, Jason always weakened under her touch. And with them having the sound of the ocean’s waves as their music and wide, open sky for their backdrop… he couldn’t help but get a little emotional.
Kissing her deeper, Jason pulled her shorts and panties down her legs. She gasped when he spread them and began to kiss her inner thighs. They were always her most sensitive spot. Her pussy didn’t need to be ate because it was already soaking wet, as it always was when she expected his arrival inside of her. Still, knowing this would be their last time together had Jason wanting to make this shit extra special.
After undressing them both completely, he spread the lips of her pussy and latched on to her clit. She wasted no time moaning and grabbing the back of his head, keeping him right where she wanted him. As Jason entered her with two fingers, he locked eyes with her, dick throbbing at the feel of her nectar coating his beard. It wasn’t long before her eyes were fluttering and mouth parted as she came. Kissing his way up her body, Jason sealed his eyes tightly as they watered.
Pressing his way inside of her, Jason confessed, “I love you, Makayla. Never doubt that.”
She dug her nails into his shoulders as she inhaled a deep breath, giving her pussy time to invite all of him in before she replied with, “I love you, too, baby.”
Cupping his cheeks, their eyes remained locked as he began to stroke her. Jason bit down on his bottom lip and bit back a moan. Her pussy was already warm and wet. As her hands slid down his back, Jason lowered himself to her and kissed her, wanting to make tonight the best night she’d ever have…
9
Makayla
Makayla woke up with a smile on her face. Not only had Jason made love to her in a way that he never had before, he repeatedly told her he loved her, and that was also something he didn’t do. After their lovemaking session on the patio, they went inside and became one three more times before she passed out, only to be woken up by him again with his dick at her opening as the sun came up. She didn’t know what had come over Jason, but she wasn’t complaining at all.
Makayla could tell she was alone in bed, but she didn’t think much of it. Sitting up, she looked around their suite, smile wavering when she didn’t feel Jason’s presence. Her eyes lowered to his side of the bed, and when she saw the white piece of paper with his handwriting on it, Makayla’s heart skipped a beat. Convincing herself that Jason was out doing something with Kannon, she pushed her ill feelings to the back as she picked up the letter.
I made a promise to keep it trill.
Part of that means being real about what’s required of me as the head.
You should’ve known the man in me wouldn’t let you take that charge.
I gotta go away to protect those I love.
I pray you can accept and respect my decision.
If you can’t, I understand that too.
I love you, Mak
Jason
Makayla couldn’t believe what she was reading. It didn’t make sense. Had he brought her here just to go back home and turn himself in?
“No,” Makayla muttered, leaping from the bed.
She rushed to the closet, crying out softly at the sight of Jason’s bags being gone. After slipping
into her sandals and throwing a robe over her body, Makayla grabbed the suite key and quickly made her way outside. She didn’t care about the fact that she hadn’t even brushed her teeth and washed her face or even combed her hair… she needed Kannon to tell her that this wasn’t real.
As she beat on his door, she bounced from one leg to the other, praying that Jason was just playing some kind of trick on her.
“I told him I’d do the time,” she whispered to herself, willing her tears not to fall.
Beating harder, her head shook as she refused to accept Jason’s disappearance from her life. As soon as Kannon opened the door, his face told her all she needed to know. Before she could stop herself, she was falling weakly into his arms as she sobbed. Yeah, Jason had always prepared her for a moment like this. She knew what came with the territory of dealing with a nigga in the streets. But all the mental preparation in the world did nothing to soothe her aching heart as it finally accepted the fact that Jason was gone forever…
Five years later…
10
Makayla
May 2020
For the past five years, self-love had been the best love for Makayla. After Jason removed himself from her life, her focus shifted to herself… until she found out she was pregnant. It was hard as fuck accepting the gift Jason had left behind. Instead of accepting that that was the way she’d always have a piece of Jason, she began to resent him for leaving her more. Especially when she found out she was having a boy. A son who came out looking exactly like his father.
Every day Makayla looked into her son’s eyes, she saw Jason, and that was a torture that she would never forgive him for. Had it not been for Kannon helping her every step of the way, Makayla was sure she would have gone crazy. She didn’t realize how dependent on Jason she’d become for love, acceptance… shit, everything. So when he left, everything changed. Everything changed, except her bond with Kannon. They helped each other grieve, and the baby gave them both a silver lining of hope. In a way, their bond changed, too… it grew deeper.
Makayla ended up staying in the Maldives for two years. By the time she came back home to Memphis, no one really questioned whose baby she had. No one in Jason’s camp outside of Kannon and Rico ever saw Austin, and they were the only two who knew he was Jason’s son. She hadn’t even told Rico or confirmed when he asked… she didn’t have to. That was the only way she could keep her son’s father’s identity a mystery. One look at him… and everyone else in Jason’s life would know who Austin belonged to.
When Makayla first made the decision to hide Austin’s paternity, it was because she was bitter, angry, and hurt over him leaving her. There was nothing he could do for either of them behind bars, plus, Jason had cut off all contact with her anyway after a few months. He stopped calling and writing and took her off his visitation list, though she hadn’t gone yet because she wasn’t in the States. It wasn’t until Makayla called the warden personally to speak to Jason that he told her it was best if she completely removed herself from his life, and she hadn’t spoken to Jason since.
That was yet another blow to her heart, but as soon as she returned to Memphis, everything they’d left behind came back to the surface. She remembered Kendall, and Kannon, and the indescribable grief and pain that had consumed him. It was in that moment that Makayla’s perspective shifted. She decided it was best for her son if Jason nor anyone else attached to him knew Austin was his son. It was safest that way. If anyone came after Austin because of Jason, Kannon, or even herself… she’d paint the whole fucking city red. Austin became… a piece of Jason that no one else had or would ever have. One that Makayla would cherish forever.
After taking in a few breaths, Makayla checked the time on the clock on her nightstand. It was how she kept herself from immediately getting lost in the news and social media on her phone first thing in the morning. As always, her body was up at four a.m. It didn’t matter what time she’d go to sleep, she’d always wake up at four.
Rolling over onto her stomach, Makayla’s body bent until she was on her hands and knees. She prayed, then did bed yoga. Once she was lying flat again, her hands found their way between her legs. She brought herself to a slow, quick orgasm before hopping out of bed and heading to the bathroom. By the time she was done taking care of her hygiene and getting dressed, it was five, which gave her one more hour to herself before she’d have to wake Austin up for school.
He was four, and Makayla had taken as much pride in making sure he was ready for elementary school as she did the rest of the kids at her head start. After working there since the age of twenty, Makayla had gone on to become director. Though she didn’t need to work to make money, Makayla received so much pleasure from what she did that she couldn’t see herself doing anything else.
Before heading down to get her tea started, Makayla picked up the small picture of her and Jason that rested on the corner of her dresser. She ran her finger across his face before sitting it face down on her dresser and heading out. When she made it to her already lit kitchen, it didn’t surprise her to find Kannon there. Their homes were directly next to each other in the gated community they’d moved into when they returned to Memphis.
A smile naturally flexed her face when she walked over to him. They’d always been good friends, but something had shifted between them over the past five years. Something that pulled them closer and showed them deeper levels of one another. Maybe it was the fact that they’d spent so much time together at their lowest points and helped pull one another out the valley. Whatever it was, Makayla was grateful even more now to have Kannon in her life.
She made her way to his side, and he quickly wrapped his arm around her and placed a kiss to the top of her head. Their exchange had become natural over the years. They both were affectionate, and when Makayla expressed how loved she felt when she was held, Kannon made it his responsibility to do just that. There was something about the feeling of safety and security that she felt when she was close to him… whether he was holding her, her hand, or merely resting his hand on her thigh.
“Good morning,” he grumbled, making Makayla smile.
Kannon had never been a morning person; in fact, he would be pissed as fuck when woken up out of his sleep, but he always woke up hours earlier than he needed to to take Austin to school with Makayla. He said it was out of habit, but Makayla knew he was still a little shaken up over what happened to Kendall. Very rarely did he allow her to do anything with Austin out in public alone. If he wasn’t there, he’d have guards on them.
“Mornin’,” Makayla replied. “How’d you sleep?”
Kannon shrugged. “I didn’t get to sleep until three so…”
“And you’re here already? Kannon, I can take him to school myself. I was going to stay anyway. I need to go over the lesson plans the teachers have turned in.”
“It’s cool. I got some shit to do in town anyway.”
Makayla nodded as she headed to the counter where her electric kettle was. The gated community they lived in was about thirty minutes outside of Memphis, and they both enjoyed the peace and quiet it provided. But, since Makayla allowed Austin to spend the weekends with her mother, she usually stayed in Memphis while he was there. Not with her mother, of course, but with a friend or one of her cousins if she didn’t want to get a hotel room. She’d sold the home she once shared with Jason in Memphis, not wanting to constantly be bombarded by the memories.
“Are you hungry?” she checked, grabbing him an apple and herself a banana after starting her water.
Every time she did, it made her chuckle. She and Austin usually had fruit or smoothies for breakfast since they both were vegetarians, and Kannon was the complete opposite. There weren’t too many fruits he liked, and he couldn’t stand to eat a banana unless it was cut up in smaller pieces. The first time she tried to give him a banana, she died laughing over how uncomfortable he looked trying to eat it. Eventually, she cut it up for him, just as she did Austin, and that had become the routine e
ver since. Kingston had clowned him and Jason when they were kids over eating bananas and looking like punks because of their shape, and even though he told them he was just kidding, the shit had stuck with Kannon over the years.
“Not this early, but I’ll eat this shit just to put something on my stomach.”
As he ate his apple, Kannon told Makayla about the meeting they were having this afternoon and how he’d need her to count the money before he dropped it off to their advisor and accountant. She couldn’t help but get a little distracted from his words by how good he made the apple look. How good eating the apple made him look.
Fuck.
She’d been single and dickless for too damn long.
There was nothing about eating an apple that should have been sexual, but Makayla couldn’t help licking her lips as she watched his jaw clench and temples expand as he chewed. The apple was juicy as hell, and she had to resist the urge to lick the juice that dripped down his chin. He caught it with his thumb quickly and sucked it off, and that was all Makayla could take.
She agreed to come to the meeting quickly and fixed her tea before scurrying out of the kitchen. It wasn’t until she was back in her room with the door locked that she released the breath she’d been holding. When Jason first left, admittedly, Makayla ran through a lot of niggas after giving birth to try and get him out of her system. That didn’t work, though, and after about a year of it, she stopped fucking and dating altogether.