by B. Love
Gina released a slow breath as she rested against the stove, looking in the opposite direction of Makayla. “You can’t say it back? You don’t love your own daughter anymore?” Gina’s head shook as she inhaled a shaky breath. “Fine.”
Makayla wasn’t sure why she even tried. Gina would forever blame her for her sister’s death. But Makayla didn’t need her to—she blamed herself enough. Times like this, she missed Jason most. He would have instantly gotten Gina right and allowed Makayla to cry on his shoulder. He would have told her she didn’t need to try so fucking hard to win things her mother was supposed to give her automatically. She’d come out of that time with him feeling stronger than she ever had… just to feel weak again when she saw her mother.
Makayla picked the money up by the front door and put it on the coffee table. As she was heading out, her stepfather was heading in. She spoke quietly and quickly, but that didn’t stop Ray from grabbing her wrist gently and keeping her from leaving so soon. Though Makayla had always wanted a father, she wanted her father. The man she’d never known. When Gina married Ray, Makayla became close to him, but she didn’t care to try and build a daddy-daughter bond. She did, however, come to him when she wanted old school wisdom pertaining to her son.
“Where’s the fire?” Ray asked with a genuine smile.
Pushing back her tears, Makayla’s head shook. “The fire is everywhere when your own mother hates you.”
Ray’s body caved. He pulled her into his arms, giving her the comfort she needed. He didn’t even bother trying to convince her that Gina didn’t hate her. No one could. And even though she didn’t blame her mother, she did wonder when she’d remember she had three daughters, one of which was still living and in need of her nurturing.
14
Kannon
Kannon wouldn’t have been able to forgive himself if he wouldn’t have made Makayla ride with him. She was clearly in a bad mood, and he knew if he didn’t get her out of her hotel room, she’d sulk and constantly think about what was bothering her. Makayla was almost always in a bad mood after she dropped Austin off, which was why Kannon often did it. It didn’t matter how ugly Gina acted when she and Makayla were alone, she was always on her best behavior around him.
Even though she was sitting in the passenger seat of his car pouting, Kannon knew her well enough to know she was happy to be away from the hotel. Giving her time to herself, he didn’t bother her with conversation as a playlist of Memphis rappers played in the background. As if Jason felt that they were together, he called. Unlike most inmates, he had a cellphone that he was able to use freely.
“Yeah?” Kannon answered, hoping the sound of Jason’s voice as it blasted through the car via Bluetooth didn’t catch Makayla too off guard.
“Who you wit’?”
Makayla’s eyes rolled, and she sat further down in her seat.
“Mak.” Kannon looked over at her as he said, “We’re in the car so she can hear you.”
Jason sighed heavily into the phone. “How did the meeting go?”
Kannon shook his head. While he understood Jason’s desire not to hold Makayla back, he hated how he’d chosen to do so. The fact that he was able to completely ignore her and act as if she never existed wasn’t helping her move on… it was causing her to hate him more and more.
“It was coo’. We just coolin’ it now.”
“Aight. I was just checking to make sure everything was straight. I’ll see you next week.”
“Aight, one.”
“One.”
Kannon waited a few seconds to see if today would be the day Jason acknowledged her, but it wasn’t, so he disconnected the call.
“You good?” he asked, to which she nodded.
She’d already had to deal with her mother; being ignored by Jason was the last thing she needed. He texted Jason, Stop doing her like that, or I’m going to stop answering your calls when she’s around. Kannon reached across the center console and took her hand into his, intertwining their fingers. She continued to look out of the window, blinking watery eyes to dry them out.
By the time they’d pulled into the parking lot of his mother and aunt’s businesses, Jason had texted him back.
Jason: The fuck I do?
Kannon: Nigga. You know what you did. She ain’t got no daddy and her mama ignore her or talk bad to her, she don’t need that shit from your ass too.
Jason: I made it clear what was up on my end. We done and it’s for her own good.
Kannon: Nah. YOU were for her own good. She’s accepted that it’s over but you don’t have to be cruel about it.
Jason: Cruel? I’m doing what’s best for her.
Kannon’s head shook. Sometimes there was no point in trying to talk to Jason, and he didn’t know why he was wasting his time. Makayla was in her phone in another world, not bothered by Kannon’s slow movements to get out of the car.
Kannon: Whatever man. Like I said, if you do that shit again I’m not answering your calls when she’s around. That ignoring her shit fucks with her mental and I’m not letting you or nobody else do that.
Jason called back, prompting Kannon to step out of the car as he answered with, “Yeah?”
“I don’t need you to protect her from me. I know what’s best for her.”
“Apparently you do. You told me to look after her and make sure nobody hurt her. You’re included in that, too. I’m telling you that woman still loves you no matter how much she hates you, and when you do that, it makes her feel like you never gave a fuck about ’er.”
“You know that’s not the case.”
“I do, but she don’t. So if you don’t put an end to this shit, I will.”
“Aight, aight,” Jason conceded. “Just let me know when she’s around and I won’t call. I don’t want to do anything to intentionally hurt her, but it ain’t no communication between me and Mak. It’s best this way.”
“Aight,” Kannon agreed before disconnecting the call and going to the opposite side of his Hellcat to let Makayla out.
There was a slick smirk on her face, as if she’d heard his end of the conversation, but she didn’t say shit about it as she grabbed his hand. They walked to his aunt’s chicken shack hand in hand. It was directly next to his mother’s beauty salon, and the sisters were known for getting into all kinds of shit together.
If there was an environment that could get Makayla out of her funk, it was Wanda’s Chicken Shack. Wanda served all kinds of soul food, but she specialized in chicken – baked breasts, fried wings, and roasted quarters, to be exact. As soon as they headed into the restaurant, Makayla’s smile widened. The atmosphere was chill. Small, dark, music blasting. Half of all the tables were taken, and there was a line to the door with people waiting for to-go orders. Pictures of Wanda with celebrities lined all the walls leading to the kitchen… where Wanda and Tracy were standing over the fryers with red cups in their hands, laughing.
The brightly lit, spacious kitchen would have been unbearably warm had it not been for the large fans blowing. It in itself had become a space to party. In the corner of the kitchen and away from the food was a small card table with several flavors of MD 2020 and bottles of Budweiser on it. After speaking to the pair of sisters, both Kannon and Makayla headed to the table. While she opted for the grape MD 2020, Kannon grabbed a beer.
He watched as she talked to his mother, aunt, and cousins. Staying back, he played a few rounds of spades with his cousins. It didn’t take long for Makayla to start returning to her normal self, and by the time the MD 2020 was good and in her system, she’d washed her hands, pulled her hair back, and put on a white apron to start frying chicken and fries with Wanda.
The music seemed to change every hour. Once the old school songs that his mother and aunt requested stopped, rap music began to play. His younger cousins alternated between washing dishes, serving food, and jookin and Kannon couldn’t help but join in. Not everyone liked or understood what vet G-Nerd had coined urban ballet for the streets. But
that gangsta walk and getting buck had been a part of urban Memphis culture for decades.
He thought back to his days at Crystal Palace skating rink, jookin trying to impress the girls and his crew… when life was a less heavy time. Kannon couldn’t deny just how much he missed that shit.
Makayla put the plate of buffalo chicken tenders in front of him, pulling him from his thoughts.
“What’s on your mind?” she wondered, smiling down at him.
Her naturally lazy, light brown eyes were sitting even lower because of the alcohol and Kannon swore she got even more beautiful with time. He often wondered how her Werther’s Original caramel candy-colored skin would taste. If it would be as sweet as it looked. Or if her plump, pouty lips would feel like the soft pillows they looked like. She must have been done cooking because she took her hair out of the rubber band and fluffed her wavy curls back in place. They framed her square face and rested on her shoulders perfectly.
“Just thinkin’ about a simpler time,” Kannon confessed before taking a swig of his beer.
“I feel you.”
“I ’preciate you making me tenders instead of wings.”
Makayla nodded with a smile. “It’s nothing.”
But it was everything. She handled him like she knew him, always taking his wants, needs, and desires into consideration.
“How you feel?”
“I’m good now, thanks to you.”
“Good.”
Kannon bobbed his head once before picking up one of the buffalo chicken tenders. He couldn’t resist allowing his eyes to lower to her ass as she walked away. Her frame was slim and it wasn’t the biggest, but it was enough to jiggle when she walked and twerked. She was a part of that lil booties matter too movement, and Kannon had to admit, he enjoyed watching what little bit of ass she had shake and jiggle.
Pushing those thoughts away, Kannon focused on his food and all the love in the kitchen. As long as Makayla was back in good spirits, that was all that mattered…
15
Ariel
More than anything, Ariel was embarrassed. Her pride had taken a major hit. When her home girl called and told her that Kannon was at Opium with his crew, she chose to come through. Even though Kannon hadn’t been answering her phone calls, she was sure he’d be happy to see her when she arrived at the club, but that wasn’t the case. Kannon had spoke to her but pretty much ignored her afterwards. She knew he didn’t like surprises or for her to pull up on him, but she figured if she came looking good enough he wouldn’t mind.
It didn’t matter how good she looked, though, his eyes were on Makayla the whole time. As she squatted low and rocked back and forth before bouncing her ass, Kannon licked his lips and looked away. He swore he watched so hard to make sure no niggas got outta line, but Ariel was no fool – he was looking because he liked what he saw, too. Makayla stood and smiled before bending the top of her body to touch her ankles while she clapped her ass cheeks.
Ariel was over it at this point. She knew there was nothing she could do to get his attention while his eyes were on Makayla. After drinking the last of her Vodka and club soda, she walked over to his section again. She stood directly in front of him, only for him to tilt his head and continue to look at Makayla.
“I’m finna go,” Ariel announced.
“Aight, be safe.”
Ariel chuckled. “I know you want her.”
Finally, Kannon’s eyes lifted to her. “Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit.”
“What other reason would there be for you to ignore me when I’m standing here looking like this?”
“She’s my top priority. What part of that don’t you understand? I didn’t tell yo’ ass to come down here. I brought her out so she could enjoy herself, but I’m not about to take my eyes off of her to entertain you.”
Ariel rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t take your eyes off of her because you want her.”
His head shook. “I’m making sure she’s straight.”
“It’s five other niggas in here that can do that.”
“Yeah, but they can’t do her like me.”
Nostrils flaring, Ariel wondered, “I don’t know why I put up with your shit.”
Kannon chuckled as he pulled her down onto his lap. “Because you love this dick.”
Unable to deny that, Ariel wrapped her arms around his neck. “Will you come through when you’re done babysitting so I can have your attention?”
“I’m coo’ with that.”
Ariel nodded as he squeezed her ass. She stood, shaking her head as she left the VIP section. As she headed through the crowd, she felt a strong hand grab hers. That was nothing new in the club, so she didn’t bother turning around to see who it was.
“Ariel,” he called over the noise.
When she turned to see Rico, she smiled. “Yeah?”
“You’on need that nigga,” he decided, throwing a mug back towards the VIP section where Kannon sat. “He ain’t even try to walk you to your car.”
Ariel scoffed. “He’s too busy watching Mak’s ass to give a damn about me.”
“Can I walk you out?”
She thought about it for a few seconds before saying, “Sure.”
“So, what’s up with you and him anyway?” Rico asked, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Y’all a couple or some shit?”
“No, why?”
“I’m just tryna see if you available.”
Ariel smiled. Honestly, she was talking to a few other men because she was tired of waiting for Kannon to always get at her when he could. But she wasn’t sure she wanted to talk to someone he knew. At the same time, he’d made it clear that there wasn’t anything serious between them, so he shouldn’t care either way.
“I’m available. I don’t know if I’m available to his friends, though. We’re not together but we do have sex, so…”
“We ain’t friends,” Rico corrected. “I deal with that mane because of the business, because of Jason.”
With a shrug, Ariel led him to her Maxima. “Oh, well if that’s the case, I’m free.”
“Can I get yo’ number?”
They exchanged numbers, which somehow led to Rico convincing her to let him trail her home. Which led to him coming inside, which ended with him fucking her on her couch as soon as she had Netflix on. His dick wasn’t as good as Kannon’s, but if he was capable of entertaining her while Kannon wasn’t around, Ariel was cool with it. Especially when he handed her all the cash in his pocket before he left.
16
Makayla
When Makayla heard her front door unlocking, she smiled. She’d been waiting to see her two favorite men all day. Kannon had picked Austin up from school to take him to the barber shop with him, so Makayla hadn’t seen either of them since this morning. Since she was late getting in, she hadn’t even bothered to get out of her clothes before she started on dinner. She could have ordered something or told Kannon to bring something with them, but it was Macaroni and Cheese Monday, which was Austin’s favorite dish.
The timing of it had to be just right, because it was always best served five or ten minutes out of the oven. As she pulled it out and set it on top of the stove, she smiled at the sound of Austin asking Kannon, “So do you leave Mama to go be with your side piece?” because the question caused Kannon to stutter.
“Wh—what do you mean?”
“You said at the barbershop with Kenny when that song was playing that the pus—”
“Woah.” Kannon covered Austin’s mouth quickly as they walked into the kitchen. “No repeating barbershop talk outside of the barbershop, lil man.”
Austin nodded as Kannon dropped his hand from his mouth. “Yes, sir.”
Makayla chuckled as she shook her head. “Don’t be talking about sex and women around my son, Kannon. I done told you about that.”
“It wasn’t my fault. You know conversation shifts depending on the song.” Turning his attention to
Austin, he said, “But to answer your question, me and your mama not together, so I don’t leave home to be with my side piece. You can only have a side piece when you’re in a relationship.”
“But you shouldn’t have one at all,” Makayla added quickly. “If you don’t want to be faithful to one woman, don’t commit to a relationship.”
Austin nodded as if he understood what they were talking about, making them both laugh softly. When he left to take his shoes off and put his backpack in his room, Kannon made his way over to the sink next to Makayla.
“Hey,” she greeted softly.
“Hey.”
“How was your day?”
“Stressful but good now. You?”
“Same.”
She looked over at him sweetly, glad she hadn’t taken her heels off. With them on, they were the exact same height. Makayla loved men who were at least a foot taller than her in the past, but she had come to love dealing with men who were just five or six inches taller than her now. She was still able to look up at them when she wanted to, but when she wore heels, they would be face to face. And there was something magical about being face to face with Kannon.
He was too damn fine for his own good. From his maple syrup brown skin tone and tattoos to his blunt brown lips and short box beard. Kannon had allowed the top of his hair to grow out over the years, never getting longer than four or five inches, and he always kept them in smallish, medium-sized plaits while the back and sides were shaved.
Their eyes remained locked for a few seconds of silence, neither in a rush to pull away. Even when she blushed quietly and he bit down on his bottom lip. Makayla often found herself lost under his stare. It was crazy how such an ugly night and experience made something so beautiful out of him. She was there the night Kannon took a bullet for Jason and lost his eye and she was scared and worried out of her mind because she thought she’d lost him.
For quite some time, Kannon wore a patch over his eye. Even with it being sealed shut, he was insecure about it. It wasn’t until Makayla puffed him up about it that he stopped wearing the patch. She instilled pride over his war wound. And every time she told him that it was beautiful, that he was beautiful, she meant that shit. Unable to resist, she leaned forward slightly and kissed his eye.