by Renee George
Howls and yips echoed off the walls, punctuating my point. I reached down, grabbed the phone, and slid it out of my pocket. Grady's chest rumbled as he growled. "Damn it, Eliza."
"I'm okay now," I whispered. "This is crazy. They will find us here, and we'll be pinned down." I woke up my no-bars-in-the-cave phone for a short respite from the dark, and bright green eyes stared down at me as oh so kissable lips pursed in tight disapproval.
"This isn't the first time I've hidden from pack down here. My dad used to get violent after drinking. This was the only place he never found me. There are too many stronger scents between the must and bat guano. Even in wolf form, they won't find us. As long as you turn off that phone and quit talking." My thigh rubbed across his groin. He groaned. "And for God's sake, Eliza, stop moving."
Even afraid, I couldn't help but feel an intense attraction to the man holding me down. In other circumstances, I would have already bed him, of that I'm certain, but Grady Conrad had been my job, not my date, and the demon lord to whom I was beholden had had other plans for the alpha werewolf that didn't involve me. But I've been around long enough to know that life doesn't always work the way we expect, and nothing is cut and dry, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
"Conrad!" a voice boomed, the acoustics of the cave making our predator sound ten feet tall and five hundred pounds.
I balled the front of Grady's shirt into my fists and whispered. "Can you take him?"
Grady looked at me and nodded. "He's strong. He's been around longer than me, but I've been defending my father's territory and running his pack since I was sixteen from bastards like him." The heat of his breath raised goosebumps on my neck. Damn it to Hell, why did he have to be so sexy? I heard him sigh. "But, am I strong enough to take on Bobby Broderick and all his enforcers and whatever those other monsters are?" His hair tickled my cheek as he shook his head. "I honestly don't know."
I steeled my courage. "I'm not all that strong, but, as a minion, I'm hard to kill," I told him. "We could make a stand."
"You think you can survive being digested by a lycanthrope?"
Visions of being pooped out in mushy chunks made me retch. "Yuck. Good point."
"Conrad!" The rocks vibrated around us. "If you don't come out now and face me, you're dead, boy. All that's left is the dying."
I wrapped my arms around Grady as he rolled us deeper into the crevice. I prayed that if there was any justice in Heaven or Hell, that the Demon Lord Leonard would explode into a million demon-y bits for placing me smack in the middle of an alpha pissing contest.
Five days earlier...
As promised, I'd met Leonard at the South County Center, a mall in the southern part of St. Louis. It was far enough away from my sister's farm to keep the demon lord out of Madder business, but close enough for me to drive in less than two hours. I'd picked the spot, but Leonard had chosen the restaurant, if you could call Cinnabon a restaurant. A slender, handsome man in dark sunglasses and an army uniform stood up to greet me. "It's about time you arrived, Eliza" he said. He smiled. "I've already eaten my way through two giant rolls."
There were two boxes with nothing but a few crumbs and icing remnants at the table. In his true demon form, Leonard had three horns, two out either side of his head and one protruding from the back. When I'd first met the demon in purgatory, he'd given me a fright, but his jovial nature quickly won me over. It hadn't hurt his cause that I was lonely and scared. It was the first time in my life and death that I'd been separated from my twin sister Elise. The demon lord made a good case for why I should make a bargain with him, including reuniting me with my sisters, and giving them all a chance to live out the lives they'd missed out on. I have to admit, the prospect of trading in my ghostly self for an actual, breathing body, was darn near irresistible. His promises for Elise are what put me over the edge. He would grant her life, and she would never have to be a part of his demon bargain with me.
The bargain didn't seem so bad at the time either. All Leonard wanted me to do was broker a few love-matches for him. Easy-peasy. I'm very intuitive with it comes to people and animals. And, before I died, I'd actually managed to match up three of my friends to suitors. In return, Leonard would grant my sisters lives, and he would release me from our bargain after one hundred years. At that time, I would be free to live out of the rest of my human existence without interference from him. Eventually, I'd join in him Hell, of course. There's no such thing as a demon bargain without the high price of a soul, but all-in-all, considering my oldest sister's awful bargain with Lord Moloch, I thought I managed a decent deal that would save all of us. Little did I know at the time, that Olivia had already concocted a plan to save herself.
I gave a quick curtsey to Leonard when he pulled my chair out for me. Next, he went to the counter and came back with a colossal roll and a hot chocolate.
"How did you know I like hot chocolate?"
Leonard smiled. "I make it my business to know my minions, Eliza." He pointed to the cinnamon roll. "Now dig in."
"Just tell me what you want. The sooner I can get on with it, the better."
"I love an eager minion." He smiled and sipped his coffee. I saw a flash of red through the mirror of his sunglasses. Demon lords could make themselves look human in all aspects except for their eyes. I was glad. It made it easier to remember that as charming as Leonard was, he was, at his core, evil and self-serving. "After you take a bite."
I looked at the large cinnamon roll. It smelled warm and delicious. "You know this isn't Eden, that isn't an apple, and I'm not Eve."
"It was a pear."
"What?"
"The fruit of knowledge." He raised a brow. "It was a pear not an apple."
"The point is the same."
"I like your sass, Eliza."
"So, you've said before." More than once. I worried that Leonard had an unhealthy obsession with me that went beyond a Demon Lord-Minion standard relationship. I took a bite and had a to fight off the mmmm-mmmm working its way to my lips. After I swallowed the doughy goodness, I gave the demon a flat look. "Now. What's the job?"
He leaned back in his seat and crossed one leg over the other. "Nothing too taxing. I just need you to ensure a marriage contract I brokered twenty-nine years ago."
"That's a long engagement."
"Both suitors were only a year old at the time."
"You made a contract with babies? That's pretty disgusting, even for a demon lord."
He sneered. "The contract was with their fathers."
"But, still you damned two babies."
Leonard winced. "Do you have to keep calling them babies? They are fully grown adults now, and it is time to pay the demon."
"This can't be right? If they don't marry, you can kill them? How does that work with the Angel Accords?"
"I made them, so I can take their lives if I want to. Creator's prerogative."
Leonard had me broker a marriage between a CEO of a tech company and a geneticist. The CEO had been the one to call on Leonard for help. She'd been an attractive sociopath who tried to stab me when the geneticist gave me an appreciative glance, but he was just as crazy. My ability to empathize with anyone helped me to get the engagement on track. Besides, I'd considered them well-matched, and in my mind, Heaven was never going to get either of them anyhow. But I didn't understand why Leonard needed me for a done deal? "So, why these two? I mean, why do you want them together?"
"Because I do," he snapped at me. Very uncharacteristically. "That's all you need to know."
I pressed my fingers to my chest. "I say, sir, you are abrupt." I didn't really expect him to answer my question, but he didn't have to be rude.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin and glanced at me over the rim of his glasses as he reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "Everything you need to know is in this package." He slid it across the table and stood up. "I'm counting on you, Eliza. Don't let me down."
Before I could respond, he was gone. I look
ed around to see if anyone noticed. Of course, they hadn't.
The envelope contained names and addresses of the matched pair. A Grady Conrad, age twenty-nine, and a Carol Ann Broderick, also twenty-nine, and weirdly, born on the same day at the end of this month. The same day they were contracted to marry. Grady lived south of Hannibal, in Ralls County, and Carol Ann lived in Hannibal, on the Marion County side. There was a map with clear marks of delineation between the two counties, and the town of Hannibal, which had a leg in both areas, outlined in red. A copy, at least I assume it was a copy, of the marriage contract was signed in blood by Harold Conrad and Robert Broderick. The fathers I assumed. And there were two footprints stamped under Grady and Carol Ann's names. Gross and monstrous. They had made the infants mark the contract with blood as well. As I read through the thereofs and therefors, the words pack and lycanthrope raised my internal alarms.
Werewolves. Leonard, who apparently was their creator, wanted me to play matchmaker to freaking werewolves.
Get A Streetcar Named Demonic at your favorite eTailer Today!
www.madder-than-hell.com
Peculiar Mysteries
www.peculiarmysteries.com
You’ve Got Tail (Book 1)
My Furry Valentine (Book 2)
Thank You For Not Shifting (Book 3)
My Hairy Halloween (Book 4)
In the Midnight Howl (Book 5)
My Peculiar Road Trip (Magic & Mayhem)
Furred Lines (Book 6)
* * *
Barkside of the Moon Mysteries
www.barksideofthemoonmysteries.com
Pit Perfect Murder (Book 1)
Murder & The Money Pit (Book 2)
The Pit List Murders (Book 3)
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Madder Than Hell
www.madder-than-hell.com
Gone With The Minion (Book 1)
Devil On A Hot Tin Roof (Book 2)
A Street Car Named Demonic (Book 3)
About the Author
I am a USA Today Bestselling author who writes paranormal mysteries and romances because I love all things whodunit, Otherworldly, and weird. Also, I wish my pittie, the adorable Kona Princess Warrior, and my beagle, Josie the Incontinent Princess, could talk. Or at least be more like Scooby-Doo and help me unmask villains at the haunted house up the street.
When I'm not writing about mystery-solving werecougars or the adventures of a hapless psychic living among shapeshifters, I am preyed upon by stray kittens who end up living in my house because I can't say no to those sweet, furry faces. (Someone stop telling them where I live!)
I live in Mid-Missouri with my family and I spend my non-writing time doing really cool stuff...like watching TV and cleaning up dog poop
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