by Sarah Morgan
Ryan was surprised that she was so sensitive to what others might be thinking. Out of the blue, his mind drifted to Connie. Connie hadn’t given a damn what other people thought. She’d been so monumentally selfish and self-absorbed that it had driven him mad.
‘Your qualifications are really impressive. We’re delighted to have you here. And the sooner you can start the better.’
‘I spoke to Evanna McNeil on the phone.’ She turned her head and checked on her daughter. ‘She’s arranged for us to pick up the keys to the cottage this morning. I was going to spend the day settling in and start work tomorrow.’
‘The cottage isn’t far from here. And I know you were supposed to have today to settle in, but if there is any way I can persuade you to start work this morning that would be fantastic. There’s a clinic starting at eight-thirty, and the girl who helps Evanna with the kids is off sick so she has to look after the children. I’d cancel it, but we’re already overrun because we’ve been down a nurse for a few months.’
‘But if the clinic starts at eight-thirty that’s just half an hour from now.’ Jenna glanced at her watch, flustered by his request, working out the implications. ‘I want to help, of course. Normally I’d say yes instantly, but—well, I haven’t made any arrangements for Lexi.’
‘I’m not six, Mum. I’ll stay on my own.’ The girl looked round with a despairing look on her face. ‘I’m hardly likely to get into danger here.’
Ryan had a feeling that the child would be capable of getting into trouble in an empty room, and Jenna was clearly of the same opinion because she looked doubtful.
‘I’m not leaving you on your own until we’ve both settled in and found our feet. It’s going to be OK, Lex.’ Her gaze was fixed on her daughter’s face and Ryan wanted to ask what was going to be OK. What had given her dark rings around her eyes? What was keeping her awake at night?
Why had she taken a job on a remote Scottish Island?
It didn’t take a genius to sense that there was a great deal more going on than was revealed by their spoken communication. And he couldn’t help noticing that no man had followed her off the ferry. If there was a Mr Richards, then he was keeping his distance.
With customary practicality, Ryan searched for a solution. ‘Lexi can come too. The surgery is attached to the house. She can hang out with Evanna and the children. Evanna would be glad of the help, and it will give Lexi a chance to find out something about the island. And I can drive you over to the cottage at lunchtime. I’ll even help you unpack to speed things up.’
‘Mum!’ Lexi spoke through gritted teeth. ‘I’m not spending the morning looking after a couple of babies! I’d rather go to broken pottery camp, or whatever it’s called!’
Ryan struggled to think like a teenager. ‘Evanna has internet access, and the mobile signal is great from her house.’
Lexi gave a wide smile that transformed her face from sullen to stunning. ‘Then what are we waiting for? Lead me to civilisation. Otherwise known as wireless broadband.’
CHAPTER TWO
‘I NORMALLY see Nurse Evanna,’ the old lady said, settling herself into the chair. ‘She knows exactly what to do with my leg.’
Could today get any worse? Feeling mentally exhausted, Jenna scanned the notes on the screen.
Not only did her daughter not want her to be here, the patients didn’t appear to want her either. And doubtless Dr McKinley was also regretting her appointment after that embarrassing scenario on the quay.
And to top it all, having not thought about sex for what seemed like the whole of her twenties, she’d looked into Ryan McKinley’s cool blue eyes and suddenly started thinking about nothing but sex. She’d been so mesmerised by an alien flash of chemistry that she’d almost embarrassed herself.
Jenna cringed at the memory of just how long she’d stared at him. Who was she kidding? She had embarrassed herself. There was no almost about it.
And she’d embarrassed him.
Why else would he have been staring at her?
What must he have thought?
That she was a sad, desperate single mother who hadn’t had sex for a lifetime.
He’d made all those polite noises about her looking too young to have a teenage daughter, but Jenna knew it was nonsense. People said that, didn’t they? People said You don’t look thirty, while secretly thinking you looked closer to forty. She shuddered, appalled at the thought that he might be sitting in his consulting room right now, formulating a strategy for keeping her at a distance. She needed to make sure he knew she didn’t have designs on him—that a relationship with a man was right at the bottom of her wish list.
She was just trying to survive. Rebuild her life.
Knowing she couldn’t afford to think about that now, Jenna concentrated on her patient. ‘I understand that it’s unsettling to have someone new, Mrs Parker, but Evanna has left detailed notes. If you see me doing anything differently, or anything that makes you feel worried, you can tell me.’
‘You’ve a teenage daughter, I hear?’ Mrs Parker dropped her bag onto the floor and slipped off her shoe. Her tights were the colour of stewed tea and twisted slightly around her ankles.
Jenna searched through the choice of dressings available to her, unsure what the surgery stocked. ‘I only stepped off the ferry half an hour ago. Word travels fast.’
‘Hard to have secrets on Glenmore. We’re a close community.’
‘That’s why I chose to come here, Mrs Parker.’ That and the fact she hadn’t had much choice. She helped the woman onto the trolley. ‘And I don’t have any secrets.’
‘Will your husband be joining you later?’
‘I’m no longer married, Mrs Parker.’ Jenna swiftly removed the old dressing, wondering why saying those words made her feel such a failure.
As if to reinforce those feelings, Mrs Parker pressed her lips together in disapproval. ‘I was married for fifty-two years. In those days we sorted out our differences. We didn’t give up.’
Great. Just what she needed. A lecture. Still, she was used to those from her mother. She’d grown up seeing her failings highlighted in neon lights.
‘I admire you, Mrs Parker. I’m just going to check your blood pressure.’
Mrs Parker sniffed her disapproval. ‘I’m here to have the dressing changed.’
‘I know that. And I’ve already picked out what I’m going to use.’ Reminding herself that building relationships was essential to the smooth running of the practice, Jenna was patient. ‘But it’s important to check your blood pressure every six months or so, and I can see from your notes that it hasn’t been done for a while.’
‘I don’t see what my blood pressure has to do with the ulcer on my leg.’
‘Sometimes ulcers can be caused by bad circulation rather than venous problems. I want to do an ankle blood pressure as well as taking it on your arm.’
Mrs Parker relaxed slightly. ‘You obviously know what you’re doing. All right. But I haven’t got all day.’
Jenna checked her blood pressure, reminding herself that she’d always known this move wouldn’t be easy. Not for her, nor Lexi.
‘So you fell pregnant when you were still in school, by the looks of you.’ Mrs Parker’s lips pursed. ‘Still, everyone makes mistakes.’
Jenna carefully recorded the blood pressure readings before she replied. ‘I don’t consider my daughter to be a mistake, Mrs Parker.’
There was a moment of silence and then the old lady gave a chuckle. ‘Capable of standing up for yourself, are you? I like that. You’re obviously a bright girl. Why have you moved all the way up here? You could be in some leading city practice. Or are you running away?’
Jenna sensed that whatever she told this woman would be all over the island by lunchtime, so she delivered an edited version of the truth. ‘My marriage ended. I needed a change. And this place has a good reputation. Logan McNeil has built a good practice.’ She didn’t add that she would have taken the job regardless, becaus
e it was as far from Clive and her parents as it was possible to get without leaving the country.
‘Logan is a good doctor. So’s Ryan McKinley, of course. But we all know he won’t be around for long. He’s a real high-flier. Used to work as one of those emergency doctors.’
Emergency doctor?
Confused, Jenna paused. ‘How long has he lived here?’
‘Came here two years ago and bought the old abandoned lighthouse that Ewan Kinaird had given up hope of selling. Too isolated for everyone. But not for Dr McKinley. Apparently isolation was what he wanted, and he paid a fair price for it. Didn’t see him for most of that first year. Turned up occasionally in the village to buy supplies. Kept himself to himself. Never smiled. Some thought he was antisocial. Others thought he was recovering from some trauma or other. Certainly looked grim-faced whenever I glimpsed him.’
Jenna felt guilty for listening. Part of her wanted to cover her ears but she didn’t want to be rude. And she was intrigued by Ryan McKinley. When she’d met him he hadn’t seemed antisocial. Nor had he shown signs of trauma. He’d talked. Smiled. But she knew a smile often hid a secret. ‘So how does he come to be working as a GP?’
‘That was Evanna’s doing. Won’t let anyone be, that girl—especially not if they’re in trouble. She coaxed him into helping out after the last locum left them in the lurch. She had baby Charlie, and Logan was managing the practice on his own. When he was needed, Ryan stepped up. But we all know he won’t stick. He’ll be off to some high-flying job before the tide has turned.’ Mrs Parker took a closer look at her leg. ‘What’s your professional opinion of this, then?’
‘I’m just taking a look now.’ Jenna wondered what trauma had made a doctor qualified in emergency medicine buy a secluded lighthouse on an isolated island. ‘How did you find out he was a doctor?’
‘Oh, he kept it quiet.’ Mrs Parker peered at her leg. ‘But Fiona Grange crashed her car into a ditch in the middle of a storm and he happened to be passing when it happened. Some say he’s the reason she’s alive. Bones smashed, she was unconscious, and the air ambulance couldn’t take off. And there was Dr McKinley, cool as a Glenmore winter, stopping the bleeding, extracting her from the car—shocked everyone, he did. Went from hermit to hero in the blink of an eye. But there was no hiding his profession after that. And he’s been a good doctor, although he’s private. Keeps himself to himself. Some think he’s unfriendly. A bit cold.’
Unfriendly? Jenna thought about the man who had met her at the quay. He hadn’t been unfriendly. Tired, definitely. Guarded, maybe. She would have described him as cool, but not cold.
‘I’m going to take a proper look at your leg now.’ Trying not to think about Ryan McKinley, Jenna washed her hands and opened the dressing pack. ‘Your blood pressure is fine. How long have you had this problem, Mrs Parker?’
‘I had it last summer and it went away. But then it came back.’
‘Did you wear your compression stockings?’ She glanced down at the tan stockings that had been placed neatly on the chair.
‘Not as much as I’m supposed to.’
‘They’re not that comfortable, I know.’ Jenna cleaned the wound and dressed it. ‘That does look sore, you poor thing. Are you in a lot of pain?’
Mrs Parker relaxed slightly. ‘I’m old. I’m always in pain. My bones ache every morning. The Glenmore winter is bitter. Like having your leg in the jaws of a shark.’
‘I’ve only ever been here in the summer. My grandparents used to bring me. Tell me if this feels too tight.’ Jenna bandaged the leg, applying most pressure to the ankle and gradually less towards the knee and thigh. ‘Try and keep your leg up before you come and have that dressing changed next week. Have you tried putting a couple of pillows under your mattress? The aim is to let gravity pull the fluid and blood towards the heart. It will reduce the swelling. Can you move your ankle?’
‘Yes. You’ve done a good job,’ Mrs Parker said grudgingly. She stood up and put her stockings back on with Jenna’s help. Then she reached for her bag. ‘That dressing feels very comfortable, actually. But tell Evanna I’m sorry to have missed her.’
‘I’ll do that.’
Jenna watched as Mrs Parker walked slowly down the corridor, and then returned to the computer to type up the notes, sinking into the chair, exhausted. This was a huge mistake. She should have just bought a new flat in London, then she could have stayed in her job and Lexi could have stayed in her school.
Instead she’d chosen a small island where strangers were viewed with suspicion and where her life was going to be lived under a microscope.
She was an idiot.
Forcing herself to take several deep breaths, Jenna reminded herself that it was natural for the islanders to be wary of a new nurse. She just had to earn their trust.
Or maybe she should just buy another ferry ticket and get off this island as fast as possible. She sank her head into her hands, and then sat up quickly as she heard a rap on the door.
Ryan walked in. ‘I owe you an apology. I had no idea Mrs Parker was your first patient. Talk about baptism of fire.’
Somewhere between meeting her on the quay and starting his surgery he’d shaved and changed. The faded jeans had been replaced by smart trousers and the comfortable tee shirt by a tailored shirt. In the confines of her consulting room he seemed taller. And broader. Suddenly she had no trouble imagining him as a high-powered consultant in a busy emergency department.
Her throat suddenly felt dry. ‘Yes, she was my first patient.’
‘You’re still alive?’
Oh, yes. She knew she was alive because she could feel her heart banging hard against her chest. ‘We did OK.’
‘But now you want to resign?’ His voice was dry. ‘You’re about to buy a return ferry ticket and run back to London?’
Jenna sat rigid, terrified that he’d guessed how bad she felt. ‘No.’ Her voice was bright. ‘I’m not even remotely tempted to run away.’
His smile faded and his gaze sharpened. ‘I was joking.’
‘Oh.’ She turned scarlet. ‘Of course you were joking. Sorry. I’m a bit tired after the journey.’
‘The last nurse we appointed lasted three days. Didn’t Evanna tell you?’
‘She did mention something. Don’t worry, Dr McKinley. I’m not a quitter.’ Jenna said it firmly, reminding herself of that fact. ‘And Mrs Parker was fine.’
‘I know Mrs Parker, so you must be lying.’
Yes, she was and it seemed that these days she spent her life lying. Even her smile was a lie. ‘Mrs Parker was wary at seeing someone new, and that’s normal—especially at her age. She doesn’t like change. I understand that.’ Jenna concentrated on the computer, thinking that she was finding change terrifying and she was several decades younger than Mrs Parker.
‘That leg of hers is slow to heal.’
Jenna thought about the old lady—remembered how much had been said in a short time. ‘I don’t know her, but at a guess I’d say she doesn’t really want it to heal. She’s lonely. Her leg gives her a reason to come up here and interact with people.’
‘That’s possible.’ His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. ‘Despite your college-girl looks, you’re obviously very sharp.’
Accustomed to thinking of herself as ‘past it’, his compliment made her feel strange. Or maybe it hadn’t been a compliment. ‘I’m interested in people. I like looking for the reasons they do things. It’s why I do the job.’ Even as she said the words she realised the flaw in that theory. If she was so interested in why people did what they did, why hadn’t she spotted the signs that her husband was cheating on her? Maybe she wasn’t so observant after all. Or maybe she hadn’t wanted to see what was under her nose.
Feeling the tension erupt inside her, Jenna hit a button on the computer and exited Mrs Parker’s file, wishing she could control her thinking. She had to stop asking ‘what if?’ She had to move on. That was what she was doing here, wasn’t it? She was wiping out the past.
‘Why do you do the job, Dr McKinley?’ Would he tell her that he was an emergency specialist in hiding?
He was leaning against the wall, his broad shoulders threatening the safety of the asthma poster stuck to the wall. ‘At the moment I can’t remember. You’d better ask me that question again when I haven’t been up for half the night doing calls. I’m always in a snarly mood when I get less than three hours’ sleep.’
‘That’s understandable. Could you sneak off and sleep at some point today?’
‘Unfortunately, no. Like I said to you on the quay—it’s just the four of us. When we’re busy, we’re busy. We can’t hand it over.’
‘Who called you out last night? Locals or tourists?’
‘One tourist with chest pains, a toddler with a febrile convulsion, and one of our own with a very nasty asthma attack.’ He frowned. ‘I called the mother a few moments ago to check on her and she told me the child is still asleep, but I’m going to call in later. I didn’t like the look of her in the night. I gather you have an interest in asthma?’
‘Yes. I ran a clinic in London.’ Jenna was interested. ‘Was there an obvious trigger? Did she have an infection or something?’
‘They’d got themselves a dog from the rescue centre. I’m assuming it was that.’
‘They didn’t know that animal fur was a trigger?’ Jenna pulled a face, understanding the ramifications of that statement. ‘So is the dog being returned?’
‘It’s a strong possibility. They’re thinking about it, but obviously the child will be upset.’
‘It would be wonderful to have a dog,’ Jenna said wistfully, and then sat up straight, slightly shocked by herself. A dog? Where had that thought come from? Why on earth would she want a dog?
‘Maybe you could give this one a home?’
Jenna automatically shook her head. ‘We can’t have a dog. Cl—’ She was about to say that Clive hated animals, but then she remembered that she wasn’t married to Clive any more. His opinion didn’t matter.