“You’re right,” Natalie conceded. “Both of you are right. James and I weren’t together when I slept with Joe or when I tried to sleep with Audra.”
“Or when you kissed me.”
“You kissed Quinn!” Joe looked absolutely stunned.
“To prove a point! And the point I’m trying to make now is that I’m not a cheater. Celine’s the cheater. Celine’s the liar. I’m not Celine. And if James can’t see that then that’s his problem!”
“Totally!” Quinn nodded in agreement.
“For sure,” Joe shrugged.
“Except…” Natalie began again after a long pause. “Joe isn’t just the man Celine cheated with. You’re Frankie’s biological father. That’s something James can never fix.”
Joe sighed as his posture slumped into the carpeted landing. “It doesn’t matter if I’m her biological father, her friend or some random stranger off the street. She’ll always see James as her dad. She worships him and I can’t compete with that.”
Another silence fell between them, but it went on longer than a moment.
Finally, forty-five minutes past the time she was meant to arrive, Audra Robertson opened the front doors and entered The Golden Palm.
She stopped dead in her tracks and cast her eyes about the room. “Wow,” she whispered. She eyed the crystal globes of light and the candelabras, the women in their assorted spandex and leather, the flowers and finally the three friends sitting up high on the staircase landing. “I’m speechless,” she admitted.
“This is just the wrapping paper,” Quinn said, sounding almost dejected. “You should see the surprise inside.”
Ignoring her friend, Natalie got up and strode down the stairs as quickly as her crystal-stilletoed feet could carry her. She could tell instantly from Audra’s posture that something was off, even wrong. She may have been impressed by the grand sights before her, but she didn’t open the front door to be wowed. It was clearer up close, the tell-tale signs that Audra had been crying. Mascara was smudged beneath her eyelids, and despite her beauty she looked years older than her age.
“What’s going on?” she asked, reaching out for Audra’s hand. Audra reached out to Natalie but hesitated, was tentative. After a moment of consideration Audra took Natalie’s wrist instead and gently pulled her away from the showcase in the foyer. They slipped into the library, a room left untouched by the crew that Natalie and Joe had brought in earlier that day. It was like entering another world entirely, a sign that Natalie took to heart. She was guarded, prepared for something bad.
“Where’s James?” she asked as she took a seat next to Audra on a thick leather couch.
Audra released Natalie’s wrist from her grip and scratched at her forehead - a nervous tick.
“He’s not coming,” she said finally. She exhaled a shaky breath and looked up at Natalie through wet, crystal blue eyes. “He’s gone.”
“Gone?”
“He was gone hours ago,” Audra began, though it looked like it pained her to do so. “As I was getting ready to leave the office to come here I got a call from Caroline in New York.” Her hand went to her mouth and stayed there for a moment, as though she could hold back whatever was threatening to come out. “There’s been a complication with Celine and uh, and the baby…”
Natalie gasped. Oh, no. Please, God, no.
“I don’t know what it is. Caroline said she wasn’t feeling well earlier. It could be nothing. It could be life and death. I don’t know. She said she’d already talked to James and he and Frankie were taking the jet to go to New York. I couldn’t get anything commercial until the middle of the fucking night.”
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry!” Natalie circled her arms around Audra and pulled her in close. “Truly, I-“
“I know,” Audra said. She wiped away the few tears that had fallen from her eyes and leaned out of Natalie’s embrace. She kept and hand in Natalie’s lap, and Natalie took it and held it tight.
“You said he was gone hours before the call about Celine?”
“Yes. Natalie he knows,” Audra said sympathetically. She looked almost guilty at having to be the one to tell her. “About you and me. You and Joe.”
“Oh.” She knew it would happen sooner rather than later, but she wasn’t expecting sooner to feel like her chest had been hollowed out. “I was right. He can’t forgive me.”
“He was very angry. Is very angry. Or at least I assume so. He’s pretty much said he wants nothing to do with me.”
“No!” Natalie cried. “He can’t do that! You have too much history between you!”
“I know that. And that’s just one thing I’m struggling with right now Natalie because… because I think I may love you.”
Suddenly a wind blew through the hollow space inside her. Audra Robertson… in love with her?
“I have no grand illusions about you loving me back.”
“No,” Natalie interrupted. “Don’t say that. I-“
“We both know that anything that might have happened between us would have been short-lived. Incredible and fulfilling to be sure. Worth it, even. But short.”
“Audra, don’t-“
“It was always going to be you and James. And despite the deepness of my affection for you, Natalie, I don’t know that I love you enough to risk what I have with him. He’s my family.”
The wind stopped. The hollowness echoed. Natalie understood. But it hurt all the same.
“Well that’s… honest.”
“I don’t believe in making decisions while in an emotional state. I need to go to New York to be with my sister. In spite of how much I actually don’t like her, I still love her, and it’s my flesh and blood she carries, too. And I need to be there for James, even if he doesn’t want me to.”
“Of course. I understand completely.” Suddenly all she wanted was for Audra to leave so she wouldn’t see her cry. “Go. There’s no shortage of work to be done in your absence.”
“And speaking of which, I love everything you’ve done here tonight. I’m sure the surprise underneath the wrapping was spectacular. Whatever it was, do it. You have my full support.”
Natalie nodded and prepared herself for Audra’s departure. Any moment now she could let it all go, let loose the onslaught of tears that threatened to crack through her strong resolve. But there was something else there too. A loss. She felt as though she were mourning for something that hadn’t quite happened yet. If she didn’t speak up… if she didn’t say anything now…
“Audra?” she asked as Audra stood, ready to make her leave. Her head tilted back to accommodate the difference in their sitting and standing height, and her tears were powerless against gravity. “What do I do if I think I love you too?”
Audra crouched down and touched her hand to Natalie’s cheek. There was indecision and frenzied excitement in Audra’s eyes.
“I don’t know.” She held her breath and brought her lips to Natalie’s, soft warmth and trembling ache between them. When they parted Audra had tears in her eyes, but something of a smile on her face. “It’s enough for me just to hear it. I’ll be in touch, okay?”
Natalie nodded, and as soon as Audra’s back was turned she let the onslaught fall. Fear filled the hollowness, crept into the spaces where the tears were vacating. The sense of loss, she feared, would only consume her.
What am I going to do now?
** * * *
Natalie, James, Audra, Quinn and Joe will return…
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Titles By Crystal Cierlak
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THE BIDDEN SERIES
Candidate four
Sinful Reunion
Secret Desires
Beyond Ruin
THE ROMANCE OF NICK AND LAYLA
Walk Away
Sorry
White Flag
Damaged
Undone
Heartlines (coming soon)
ZOE THANATOS
Zoe Thanatos
Hydra Luna: A Zoe Thanatos Short Story
The Lost Heir (coming soon)
AWAKENING RIELLE (SERIES)
Awakening Rielle
SPECIAL THANKS
To April and Kristy for their continued support and friendship, and for making writing such a pleasure. And to my Grammy for the wonderful 45 minute drive from Goleta to Lompoc where she let me talk her ear off about the entire BIDDEN series from start to finish, making sure to laugh at all the soap opera drama she lovingly appreciates.
To you, the reader, for honoring me with the patronage of my words.
Beyond Ruin (Book Four of the Bidden Series) Page 15