Before I could calm down, he grabbed me by the arms and hoisted me to my feet. The next bout of mirth stuck in my throat as I felt his strong hand shake with rage. His nostrils flared and his eyes dilated. I felt myself swallow the laughter.
See that line? Yeah, I crossed it—with a flying leap.
“What did you say to her?”
“It was just a joke,” I whispered. I watched as the muscles in Nik’s jaw work as he ground his teeth.
“It wasn’t funny,” he growled. I suddenly felt like he might be right. “You just made the primus of a very powerful seethe look the fool, meaning she now hates and despises you. And the last thing you need is more enemies.”
With this final statement, he took me by the arm and dragged me out of the room. I felt a bit like a small child being taken to her parent for a spanking. Thankfully Nik didn't seem to think that was necessary. I was grateful; that would have been awkward.
We reached the main level of the seethe and stopped in front of the double doors leading into the main room. Josh sat on the bottom steps heading up to the bar, resting his elbows on his knees and his jaw cupped in his hands. We stopped and waited for him to slowly rise to his feet.
And then the silence descended.
“So what is the plan for today? Epic war against evil? Apocalypse?” I asked after the silence got too uncomfortable. It didn’t help. They both stared at me. I knew what was probably going through Nik’s head, but I had no idea why Josh seemed so angry. Wouldn’t he be entertained by the ridiculous joke I had played? Or maybe he hadn’t realized it was a joke. I shook that thought from my mind. Naah.
“We'll be going after those things she wanted. Sooner she's gone the sooner you stop acting like an ass.”
“You're actually going to get that stuff for her?”
“I owe her a favor. It is not within my power to pick and choose when I fulfill it. Besides, Mikhail ordered me to.”
“Uh… how is it not within your power?”
“I wouldn't expect you to understand.”
“Well, not when you don't explain it to me.”
Nik ground his teeth together, his wide jaw flexing with the effort. I wondered if he slept with one of those rubbery mouth guards. Probably needed to. “She did me a favor. I must repay it.”
“But why does it have to be now, when we have enough shit to deal with?” I just didn’t really see the urgency.
“Because she has asked me to.”
“So just because she asked you to you have to risk all our lives to get her some antiques?”
“YES! It is the custom of our generation and most of the preternatural world. Favors and promises are very important. You don't neglect a favor. You just don't. At the same time, you don’t offer out favors unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
“And why not just say no?” I asked. He wasn't making any sense.
“As someone with no concept of honor, I don't expect you to understand,” he snapped back before storming into the main room.
I followed him, feeling sullen and annoyed. Josh shadowed me.
The room was far from full, though a large group of people were huddled near the center. In the middle of the group stood Mikhail and another man. Fear made the stranger's shoulders tense and his eyes flicker around the room.
“I am sorry. But you leave me no choice. You have threatened our safety by your actions. The punishment for such deeds is death,” Mikhail said in a formal voice as he reached for the man's head. The frightened man tried to bolt, but ran straight into the crowd of people. Two willing assistants grabbed him, forcing him to his knees again.
The condemned trembled visibly. With an easy twist of his hands, Mikhail tore the man's head from his body. It turned to dust and fell to the ground. Panic flooded through me. I'd been told Mikhail was in charge of this little shindig, but I'd never quite realized to what extent. Evidently it was in every way possible. He had just acted as judge, jury, and executioner. My life was completely under his control. And though his word was what was keeping me alive, I knew he could easily change his mind and I would be quickly dealt with. Nik would volunteer.
“What just happened?” I asked in a small, tense voice; my fight with Nik was suddenly forgotten in the wake of the man's death.
“That man broke the rules. Mikhail doesn't allow people like that to threaten our safety,” Josh said, sounding subdued though resolute.
His response went in one ear and out the other. What rules? Was I at a risk of being beheaded? Why hadn't they told me about said rules?
Chapter Eighteen
“Where to now?” Josh asked, to change the subject.
Nik pulled the crumpled list out of his back pocket. “Library, of course. I guess I’ll talk to Mikhail later,” he added, nodding toward Mikhail. We left the main room.
“Library?” I asked, forcing my brain back to the here and now. I jogged to keep up with Nik’s longer legs; Josh was having to do the same thing.
“Of course. Where else do you go to get information?” he asked in a sarcastic tone. I rolled my eyes. Evidently he was too set in his old-school ways to think of the internet.
We wound our way around the evening viewers finishing off their day in the restaurant. I held my breath and recited the Pledge of Allegiance until we exited onto the street; it was easier than dealing with temptation. I glanced up at the cloud-covered sky as I jogged to the nearest vehicle. The bouncer tossed the keys to Nik. We climbed into the sleek car. It was a new one from what we had used the night before; the foreign badge was one I didn’t recognize.
Damn vampires and their money.
Then again, Josh wasn't rolling in it, I thought as the young man—in appearances only—climbed into the back seat.
Nik drove through Olympia and into Lacey. The dashboard said 4:32 p.m., and being late October I wasn't surprised by the fading light of a winter sunset, effectively defused by the thick clouds. The evening traffic was thick as we drove up Pacific and into the adjacent town. He turned onto College Street, crossed over the freeway, and took a left into the library parking lot. Like many public buildings in western Washington, it looked like both the building and the parking lot had been laid out in a way so as to cut down as few trees as possible. The enormous evergreens and large rhododendrons grew right up against the outer walls.
I followed them into the library, suddenly feeling very conspicuous. It had been days since I'd been involved in normal human activities, like going to the library. On the way in, I glanced at the hours of operation sign. They didn't close till seven. I hoped that was enough time for whatever we were doing. We followed Nik through a couple rows of tall book cases, finally stopping in the history section. He scanned one shelf of books before moving on to another. Thus far I had only seen one worker and one visitor, both situated at the other end of the enormous room. I was thankful. I couldn't take much enticement just now.
“What are you looking for?” I asked. He shushed me.
After a few minutes of searching—while Josh and I tried not to get bored—he pulled out a book, flipped through it, put it back, and pulled out another with the title of “Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor.” Nik collected a few more with similar titles and made a neat pile out of them. He lifted half, leaving the other books for Josh. Evidently as a woman I was too fragile to carry books. I rolled my eyes and followed them to a large empty table tucked back in a dark corner.
“All right, start digging,” ordered Nik as he set his stack down.
“What are we looking for?” I asked again reminding him that I'd yet to see the list. He handed it to me. It included a breastplate, a dagger named Veneno, a few silver bracelets with a vague description, the title of a book, a helmet, and a codpiece. “I'll search for the codpiece,” I said as a joke.
Nik rolled his eyes at me and took his seat. We all began digging, trying to find references to the items mentioned. Over the next two hours, we found only a few brief references. We managed to find a picture of the bracelets matching t
he description, a painting of Charles V in the breastplate and helmet, and an idea of what was in the book—writings of Martin Luther.
Eventually one of the library workers pointed out the time. Again I held my breath while Nik and Josh exchanged quick but polite chit-chat. We returned our books and left. When we got to the car, I spoke up, “So what next?”
“Well, we got a little better information, so I think we'll go see Drake.”
“And then we get the items and Emma leaves!” added Josh.
Nik glared up at him. “Don't forget who you’re speaking about, boy. Even here she is still your superior.”
“But not yours?” I asked.
“Technically, yes. She's the primus of one of the Portland seethes. Though I'm older than she, I have no children or vampires that are considered mine. Thus, in an informal way, it means she outranks me.”
A movement near a neighboring car caught my eye. I saw someone watching us over the top of their S10 Chevy pickup. The look in their eyes said: “Wow these guys are weird,” which is surprising, considering how many weird people there are in Olympia. I glared at them for a moment before they conveniently realized they needed to get into the vehicle.
We climbed into the fancy car, the tinted windows making it only a fraction darker than outside. The sun had fully set, which made me feel a great deal better. I hadn't realized how tired I'd been until the weight of daytime was taken from me. We drove back down Pacific toward the bar and my apartment. Nik parked the car as soon as we reached the edge of the downtown area and turned to look at me.
“We're going to see a fae,” he began without preamble.
“Wait… fae like Muffler?” Again, I made a flapping motion with my hands—just like I had the last time we’d discussed the fae. Nik swatted them down, his face contorting in an annoyed grimace.
“Muffler. Yes. There are some rules you need to follow.”
“Rules? Like rule rules or guideline rules.”
“Rules. Now shut up and listen,” he snapped. I bit my tongue to keep from replying in kind. “Don't say thank you, don't accept gifts, or food, or drink. You know what…just don’t talk.”
With that he climbed out into the dark night. Josh and I followed him. The streets were surprisingly crowded for a Thursday evening. Nik led the way, carefully weaving his way through the growing throng of pedestrians over to the next block. Someone bumped into me and I struggled to keep myself from throwing a punch.
My skin tingled as though it were ready to crawl away on its own while my head started to ache and an all too familiar pressure formed against my gums. Why was I acting as if there were blood nearby? I hadn't been thinking about drinking or anything. What was wrong with me?
The sound of the pedestrians' hearts pumping seemed to grow louder or more intense. My breath came in rapid gasps as I trailed behind the others. We turned down a nearly deserted street. That is, only one young lady shared the walkway. She was dressed in a simple business suit, her frizzy, black hair pulled back into a ponytail at the base of her neck. She shifted to the edge of the sidewalk to give us space to pass.
As I drew near, I listened to her heartbeat. It was faster than normal. She was afraid, or nervous. The sound of her blood pumping through her veins was like a drum beat designed only for me, guiding me to my destination. As she passed by, her shoulder nearly grazed mine. Without thinking, I reach out, grabbing her by the arm and sinking my teeth into her shoulder.
At first, all I tasted was the cotton of her suit. I sucked at it, frustrated by the lack of taste, but that didn't last long. I faintly heard the woman scream, as if she were in a different room. She struggled against my grasp, but it was like wrestling a child. There was no hope of her escaping my hold. The power I felt excited me, made my proverbial heart beat faster. The minute I started using her like a straw warm liquid flooded into my mouth. The ache in my gums, the panic tightening in my chest, all of it disappeared as I swallowed the sweet yet salty, warm liquid. I inhaled deeply and resumed my drinking. Long before I felt satisfied, a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders and yanked me away from my meal.
I cried out, panic setting in as the stuffed suit slumped to the ground. I fought back, desperately reaching out for the one thing I wanted, but it was no use. Whatever held me back was stronger than me. Suddenly someone was picking up the suit and carrying it away. I cried out again while being dragged back into an alley.
“Breathe,” a calm voice ordered. What was he talking about? I was breathing. Wasn't I?
It didn't matter. All I cared about was reaching my goal, sating my need. I didn't need to breathe. A sudden earthquake shook my body. I struggled against the rapid movement, losing my footing on the pavement while my head whipped back and forth. This made it impossible to run after the thing I needed, wanted. “Deep breath,” said the calm voice as the strange earthquake ended.
I obeyed, hoping once I did it would release me.
“And another.”
I repeated the action. My mind slowly started to clear, making it easier to think, as if I was slowly waking up. The panic eased in my chest and my gums stopped trying to explode out of my mouth. I wiped my hand across my mouth; it came back red. What was this? What had happened? As my mind continued to clear, I started to remember the woman in the suit, her screaming, and my desire. It felt like a bad dream. “Oh god,” I whispered as realization set in.
I dropped to the ground, cradling my head between my knees, wishing I could pass out. I didn’t, sadly. “What have I done?” I cried, tears spilling over my eyelids and dripping to the pavement before I could feel embarrassed by my sudden burst of emotion in front of a stoic, cruel-hearted bastard. I didn't make the effort to stop them. It was too late to preserve my dignity in his eyes. Nik knelt down in front of me and gently placed his hands on my shoulders.
“Look at me.”
I shook my head, the tears splattering on the ground and mixing with the misty rain.
“Look at me!” he demanded again. When I didn't, he lifted me by the shoulders as he stood up, forcing me to do the same. I kept my focus on the ground. I couldn't look at him, or anyone who knew what I'd done. He let go of one of my shoulders and grabbed my jaw. If I had been human, he would have left bruises.
“Stop that!” Nik spat, no sympathy in his voice.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at him. How could he be this mean? Even for Nik, this was downright cruel. But then he surprised me.
“This is my fault,” he stated. His voice sounded as though he were ordering coffee, nothing more.
“How?” I whimpered.
“I let you get too hungry. I wasn't taking care of you like I should.”
“When's the last time you drank? And yet you don't go around murdering people.”
Nik nodded. “I am very thirsty. But remember, I've had a lot more time to learn self-control. You'll get there.”
But it was my fault. No one forced me to jump that woman and tear her shoulder open. He hadn't made me what I was. His taking the blame wasn't actually very helpful. “Please, please just kill me. I can't take this. I can't do this!”
He gripped my face even tighter, his fingers like numerous iron monkey wrenches. “I will not kill you,” he said slowly, making sure I grasped the message. Sure, now he didn’t want to kill me.
Make up your freaking mind!
“You will learn control and you will learn to bury the guilt… or deal with it in some way,” he added.
“But I'm evil.”
“We're all evil to one extent or another. But that doesn't mean we can't find redemption.”
“I doubt we could ever… ” I couldn't finish my statement.
“Who are you to limit redemption?” He paused. “No matter what you do, I will not kill you.”
“Until Mikhail changes his mind,” I muttered.
“Not for this. This is easy to cover up, to hide. It is only those indiscretions that threaten to expose us that he will kill over. Besides,
you're young,” Nik added as he released my face.
“When will that no longer be an acceptable excuse?” I asked, feeling in no way mollified.
“Not for at least a couple years.”
Chapter Nineteen
Nik took me by the arm and led me out of the alley. A small part of me was curious about where Josh was and how he was cleaning up my mess. In the end, I decided it was better not to know. As we continued down the streets of Olympia toward the main thoroughfare of Fourth Ave., I couldn't keep my mind off the woman I had just killed. I had taken a life. She was likely a mother, and she wouldn't come home tonight. In just a few minutes, those loved ones would be getting a visit from Olympia's finest, and they would hear that mommy wasn't going to come home tonight, or ever. And it was my fault. I had not only destroyed that woman's life, I had taken her away from all those who loved her. I had ruined their lives too.
I was a monster in the truest sense of the word. Nikolai, Mikhail, Josh. They might be able to pretend or forget, but I couldn't. I would never forget that woman's face, the taste of her cotton suit, or the sound of her distant screams. They were part of me now and I wasn't a computer. I couldn't delete the file.
We stopped in front of a building with many large window displays of pretty antiques. The sign across the top read “Drake's Antiques.” I followed Nik into the shop. The front of the store held displays of old four-poster beds dressed with antique quilts and gilded mirrors. Other displays had cast iron tubs surrounded by aged stools and other almost-antique items. Over all, it looked like a bunch of overpriced, slightly old stuff being hawked to idiots.
Were we really going to find that damn useless junk in here? Not that I really cared. I felt strangely numb, and not in a good way. The numbness fought against everything but the painful memories I wished would go away. It made me unable to distract myself with anything else.
From the back of the shop a voice called out, “We're closed.”
Nik ignored the warning and continued to weave toward the back. The farther in the more realistic the antiques became. We passed one case with old pistols, some looking to date back to the American Civil War. Another case held simple jewelry that looked genuinely old, not that I'm very knowledgeable on the topic. Emma would probably know better.
The Series that Just Plain Sucks: The Complete Trilogy Page 10