Finding North
Page 40
Tears rolled down Alex’s face. John’s long arm reached across the distance between their chairs so that his hand cupped her face.
“I can’t do it.” Alex’s tear-drenched voice seemed to echo in the tall pines surrounding the cabin.
“Oh love,” John said.
He got up from his seat and knelt in front of her. If he’d not been holding Máire and she Joey, he’d have hugged her. He touched her leg. She covered his hand with hers.
“You can’t do it alone,” John whispered.
“I can’t do it,” Alex said. “Period. No matter what I try, I can’t break down old Chinese. Max and Margaret have worked their butts off, but they can’t do it, either. I can’t even think straight anymore. The UN Security Council looked at us like we were completely nuts. They invited us to come to speak with them, to brief them about the Black Skeleton — that’s what they said — and . . .”
Alex gave an angry shake of her head.
“We don’t have a place to work. We can’t go back to Buckley and Howard . . .”
Alex clamped her mouth closed rather than speak of her injured friend and commanding officer.
“Please,” John said. “One minute. Just wait one minute.”
He took Joey from her and carried the twins inside. She wiped her face with the sleeve to her long sleeved T-shirt and tried to take deep, calming breaths while he put the twins down. He came out and knelt in front of her again. He put his hands around her face. His thumbs wiped the rest of her tears away. She couldn’t bear to look at him. He kissed her cheek.
“It all comes down to me, John,” Alex said. “And I . . . can’t do it. They win. That’s it. They win.”
“You’re right,” John said. “You can’t do it.”
Alex was so surprised by his words that she just blinked at him.
“Alone.” His head went up and down in a slight nod. “You can’t do it alone.”
She closed her eyes to keep from looking at him.
“Never thought of it, did you?” John asked.
“But I’ve been including people,” Alex’s voice rose with frustration. “Since the cricket told me and . . . I have been including everyone, I . . .”
John gave her a sheepish grin.
“I haven’t been?” Alex was so surprised that she put her hand on her chest.
“You haven’t been,” John said. “Not really. Not like you used to include Raz and Jesse . . . and well, me . . .”
“I haven’t included you?” Alex asked. “But you know that I’m struggling with that stupid Linear A and . . .”
“God, Alex, are you truly this . . . oblivious?”
She scowled and looked away from him.
“Raz told me that you feel like you ‘found North’ by finding out that stupid cow might be behind this,” John said.
She turned back to look at him.
“I am your North,” John said.
“What?” Alex asked.
“Our life, our family, our friends, we are the thing you have always navigated from,” John said. “I am your North.”
Stunned by his words, she pressed her hand toward him as if to push him away. Her palm landed on her dog tag, the one he wore over his heart. Her entire body shuddered with the impact. He covered her hand with his own. She looked into his face.
“What if this kills us?” she said in a soft voice.
“As opposed to disease or old age?” John asked. “We’re heading in that direction anyway. At least we used our lives and died for something important.”
“But . . . you aren’t a soldier,” Alex said. “You are a civilian. You are . . .”
“I am your life,” John said. “And you are mine.”
“But . . .”
“No buts,” John said. “We’ve already set sail — together. We just didn’t realize it was to save our world.”
He pulled back to look at her.
“But . . .”
“No buts. If I have you, here . . .” John squeezed her hand that remained on his heart. “I have every single thing I’ve ever wanted.”
“How can we do this together?” Alex asked. “You don’t know Linear A or old Chinese or some stupid nomadic tribe’s version of old Chinese or . . .”
“I know Steve Pershing,” John said. “He called to ask me about a procedure they want to try for Ji. While we were on the phone, I asked him about old Chinese. You know what he told me?”
“What?” Alex asked.
“Fong, his wife, is fluent in spoken and written old Chinese,” John said. “She also reads Xiongnu, the stupid nomadic tribe you mentioned. She just called to tell you.”
John nodded toward her cell phone.
“How do you know?” Alex asked.
“I spoke with her,” John said. “She’s on her way here. She’s bringing Ji and Steve. They are in New York. They’ll be here by mid-day.”
Afraid she was dreaming, she looked up again to see if the stars had moved. They had shifted their position in the sky. She looked back at him.
“Everything starts with us, our love,” John said. “Think it through, Alex. Everything you’ve accomplished, all of those great things, you’ve done after we were married.”
“I became a Green Beret,” Alex said. Her words were defiant, but her tone indicated that she knew he was right.
“And I survived Belfast,” John said. “I’m not saying we weren’t tough, bad asses when we met, I’m saying . . .
“Together we move mountains,” Alex said.
“Why would this mountain be any different?” John asked. “Our love is the source of our strength.”
“But how . . .?” Alex asked.
“Let me show you,” John grinned.
He lifted her from her chair and carried her inside.
F
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