Was it worth it? For the first time she began to doubt it. Working alongside Ponce when he wanted to have nothing to do with her made her feel all too strongly that she had again failed to measure up. Perhaps she was incapable of ever holding a man or managing a successful relationship. Maybe she would never love enough. It was what Daniel had said, and perhaps he was right.
If she wanted to preserve any shred of hard-earned sense of dignity and self-worth, the kindest thing she could do for herself was to walk away from Ponce. She'd also be walking away from her job as a salvage diver and her twenty percent of the find, but compared with her own dignity and self-worth, her job and the money seemed unimportant. Hadn't she decided a long time ago that she was solely responsible for her own happiness? Happiness, or even peace of mind, seemed an impossibility if she remained on Minorcan.
Anxiously she awaited the return of the launch from the mainland. She had made her decision. She would tell Ponce that she wanted to leave Minorcan, and she would ride the launch back to St. Augustine on its return trip.
But when the launch returned on Sunday night, Ponce wasn't among the group.
"Ponce won't be back until later," John explained as he stepped off the launch.
No further explanation was given, but Alix was sure that she knew why Ponce had stayed over in St. Augustine: Jessica was there. It didn't matter, she told herself fiercely, imagining Ponce's strong, sinewy body pressed against Jessica's svelte ones.
She banished that picture from her mind and, trying to keep busy, went to heat up a take-out pizza that the returning crew members had brought with them. By the time they joined her in the wardroom, she was even able to manage a smile in greeting.
Nights were the worst, she reflected as she lay on her bunk, willing herself to be rocked to sleep by the gentle rolling motion of the ship riding at anchor. During the days she could keep busy with her work.
Restlessly she peered at her watch in the moonlight streaming through the porthole. It was two in the morning, and she wasn't any closer to falling asleep than she had been at eleven.
She got up and pulled on a navy-blue sweat shirt and a pair of jeans. Maybe a brisk walk on deck would relax her enough so that she could fall asleep. She passed the wardroom and encountered Tom, who had the watch, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
"Want some?" he called as she went by.
"Nope," she told him, stopping for a moment. "I'm trying to get to sleep, and coffee won't help."
"I guess not. Going for a walk?"
She nodded. "It might help," she said. She left Tom there and went on deck.
A brisk breeze had sprung up, and she pulled the hood of her sweat shirt up over her hair to protect it from the salt spray. The deck was deserted. Fleetingly she wondered what other person was keeping watch with Tom.
Another turn around the deck and she heard a voice from the radio electronics room. So it was Troll who shared the watch. She smiled to herself. Probably Troll was using the privacy of his early-morning watch to call Mary without everyone else onboard hearing. Well, she wouldn't stop in to say hello, then. She'd keep on walking, leaving poor Troll to enjoy his private conversation with his wife.
But as she drew closer to the room where Troll talked on the radio, she stopped, listening. The person was talking loudly, which was always a necessity on the radiotelephone. Why, it was Daniel! And what was he saying? She strained to hear over the sound of the wind and the sea slapping against the hull.
"But Luke—" she heard him say.
Luke? Luke Stallingrath? Her mind reeled with this information.
"I've repeated the coordinates of our position twice," he said loudly and with more than a hint of impatience. Then a pause and a burst of static. "Yes, I know I'm having trouble with transmission."
The distinctive voice that replied over the radio was gruff and gravelly, a voice she recognized from hearing it twice before. It was unmistakable—the man talking with Daniel was Luke Stallingrath.
Alix trembled with anger. How dare Daniel betray them by giving their coordinates to Luke Stallingrath?
"Basically it's the same information I gave your man in St. Augustine. Did you hear me? Luke?"
It was clear from the conversation that Daniel's association with Luke was an ongoing thing. It wasn't something happening just here and now.
Scenes flashed through Alix's mind. The ransacking of her apartment, probably conducted by Daniel and sanctioned by Luke. Daniel's boasting of his success with Paquita Mumez in Barcelona, who may have known just enough to give Daniel a lead to the information Alix had found. Luke's offer of a job, which Ponce had interpreted as harassment, but which, when linked with her new knowledge that Daniel was almost certainly a spy planted on Minorcan by Stallingrath, began to take on new meaning.
Another burst of static brought a curse from Daniel. Alix edged closer, sure that her dark clothing would make her invisible on deck if Daniel happened to glance out the open door of the room. But Daniel was not interested in anything but the radio and seemed to be working feverishly to get it repaired.
She stood and watched him for a few more minutes, feeling sick at heart. Ponce had hire Daniel on his own, of course, but he had kept him on at Alix's urging. If it hadn't been for her Ponce might have fired Daniel even though it would have worked a hardship on the crew.
It didn't matter if she heard any more. She had already heard enough to condemn Daniel. It was what to do with the information that worried her. Quietly she slipped away, unheeded.
On the one hand things between her and Ponce were so hopeless—and because of Daniel—that she didn't feel able to go to Ponce with her information. On the other hand Ponce needed to know about Daniel's treachery. She tried to think of some way she could tell Ponce without putting herself in the middle of a knock-down drag-out scene between the two men. She finally slept, but only briefly before Ponce arrived unexpectedly by special launch much later. Alix awoke from a sound sleep and heard him banging on doors along the corridor .
"John! Stan! Tom! Vince! Troll!" he shouted as he strode along the hallway.
Frightened, Alix stumbled from her bed, her heart pounding madly in her chest. Her first panicky thought was of an emergency situation aboard the ship.
She heard the doors of the staterooms lining the corridor open one by one, everyone responding quickly, their voices still foggy with sleep.
"What's wrong?" she heard Tom ask.
"We're having a meeting of the board of directors in the wardroom. Immediately!" Ponce slammed into his cabin.
Alix struggled into a robe and opened her own door slightly.
"What's happened?"
Troll had pulled on a pair of cut-off jeans. He blinked at her sleepily and shrugged.
Ponce burst out of his quarters again, fury in his eyes. He raked his eyes across Alix's features. "You might as well come along, too," he said. He strode away, leaving them all staring after him in perplexity.
Alix returned to her stateroom to slip into a pullover and shorts. She hurried to the wardroom, arriving slightly behind the others and with no inkling what was happening.
Ponce stood at the head of the long table. His expression was dark with rage. "Sit down," he ordered.
Suddenly the wardroom door opened and on the threshold stood Daniel, blinking in the harsh overhead light.
"Come in," Ponce said curtly.
Alix caught her breath. Perhaps Ponce knew about Daniel's spying for Stallingrath. What was Ponce going to do? And exactly how did this concern her? Her mouth went dry, and she swallowed to ease the apprehensive ache in her throat.
Daniel's hair was rumpled. He looked smaller somehow, and unsure of himself. Ponce didn't invite him to sit.
Ponce reached behind him and removed a folder from a briefcase. He tossed photographs on the long table, where they fanned out so that everyone could see them. Daniel flinched. Ponce was glaring at him with subdued fury.
"Care to explain?" Ponce asked in a tightly con
trolled voice.
"I don't understand," Daniel said with detectable false bravado.
There was a silence as the members of the board stared at the pictures. Alix looked at them, too. They were all of Daniel. Several showed him passing papers to another man, easily recognizable to Alix as the ginger-mustached pilot who had buzzed Minorcan in the first weeks of the search. There were photos of the pilot and Daniel in a bar, talking seriously, with Daniel holding a small notebook which Alix instantly recognized as his journal. Alix reached out and pulled other photographs closer, and she saw that they were of Daniel and Luke Stallingrath eating in a restaurant.
The members of the board leaned back in their chairs and regarded Daniel with expressions ranging from repugnance to disbelief. Disloyalty from a member of Minorcan's crew was unthinkable.
"I'll explain for you." Ponce paused dramatically before going on. "You were in the employ of Luke Stallingrath before you ever signed on with me, and you're still working for him."
Alix drew a sharp breath. Ponce's glance shot toward her, measuring her reaction.
"For the past two weekends on shore," Ponce continued to Daniel, "you've been reporting on the happenings aboard Minorcan to Stallingrath. For proof I have these photographs and an affidavit from a private detective, who has been following you and recording your conversations. I stayed over in St. Augustine during my most recent hiatus instead of coming back to the ship so that I could meet with him. His story was most interesting." Ponce fixed Daniel with a riveting stare, his gaze cold and hard as ice.
"I—I—" Incriminated by the photographs, Daniel had no believable defense.
"You have exactly five minutes to gather your belongings and leave the ship. The launch is waiting."
"Give me a chance," Daniel begged, darting his eyes from face to face.
"You don't deserve one," Alix said with such abhorrence that Daniel was clearly taken aback. "I heard you transmitting our position to Stallingrath last night." Daniel's face blanched.
"I can explain," said Daniel nervously.
Alix leaned forward in her seat, and each of her words had a cutting edge. "Explain to me why you were calling Luke Stallingrath on the radio between two and three in the morning. And while you're at it, explain to Ponce and the board, too!"
"You must be mistaken."
"You repeated our location twice, and I'm not mistaken about a few other things, too. For instance, the time you trashed my apartment before we left port. And I'll bet it was you who sent Luke Stallingrath to offer me a job after you told him that I'd found something important at the Spanish Maritime Museum in Barcelona. It's you who were mistaken, Daniel, thinking that you could pull these dirty tricks without being found out." She sat back in her chair, two bright spots of color flaming on her cheeks. Ponce was staring at her.
There was silence from the members of the board, who were unanimous in their condemnation of this traitor.
"You're wasting your five minutes, Daniel," said Ponce. "If you're not off Minorcan when the time is up, I will personally take great satisfaction in throwing you overboard." No one could doubt that Ponce meant what he said.
With one last, frantic look, Daniel wheeled and left the wardroom. In his wake he left only silence.
Ponce put a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it thoughtfully for a few seconds. Then he looked ruefully at the board members. "I hope you'll agree that I did the right thing."
"Absolutely," said John, and there was a murmur of assent from the rest of the members.
"How did you first begin to suspect him?" Kip asked.
"His furtive behavior aboard ship, for one thing," said Ponce. "Then, that first weekend we were in St. Augustine, when I was on my way to pick up Alix for dinner, I happened to see Daniel riding in a car with the pilot who had buzzed our ship. The two of them together didn't add up, since I knew for sure that the pilot was one of Stallingrath's employees. The next day I consulted with Jessica, and she suggested that I have Daniel tailed by a private detective.
"We'll be short a diver now, but that can't be helped," Ponce continued. "I'll replace Daniel as soon as possible. That's all. I'm sorry I had to disturb your sleep, but I wanted him off my ship immediately, and I needed you as witnesses."
"We understand," said Troll. Chairs scraped against the floor as everyone rose to leave.
Alix rose also and began to follow the board members out the door.
"Alix," said Ponce. She turned slowly to find that he was looking at her. His eyes were flint gray, with great dark circles beneath them. He looked as though he had lost sleep recently; was it because he had been with Jessica after all? She felt a lump growing in her throat. It was painful to think about Ponce with anyone else.
"Please don't go yet," he said unexpectedly. "Sit down."
She sat, thinking that she had been right about herself. One look at Ponce, and she was almost overcome by the attraction between them. She tried to return his gaze levelly. What had happened with Daniel had shaken her, but she didn't want to show it.
Ponce's eyes pierced through her. "Did you know he was working for Stallingrath?" The question, fired unexpectedly, was a complete surprise.
"Of course not," she said, wounded deeply that he had even asked such a question. "I would have told you."
"Even if it had meant revealing that Daniel was your ex-boyfriend?"
"I wanted you to know about Daniel and me," she cried.
"Then you should have told me," he retorted. They stared at one another over the ruins of their relationship, neither of them able to think of anything to say that would heal the wounds.
Ponce ran a hand over his eyes, looking exceedingly weary. "I'm sorry, Alix," he said quietly. "My temper is at the breaking point."
She clenched her hands into fists in her lap. When she could, when the lump in her throat would let her, she asked, "What are you going to do to Daniel?"
"Is that so important to you?"
She couldn't bear his ruthless tone. When, struggling to keep her tears in check, she didn't reply, he dismissed Daniel with a curt, "He's fired; he can go back to Stallingrath for all I care. Jessica has been advising me throughout my investigation, and she thinks that it's best for all concerned if I drop the matter."
"I see," she said, struggling to enunciate the two short words. There it was—Jessica again. No wonder the two of them had huddled together all through Jessica's horrible brunch.
Ponce's sharp gaze penetrated her to her core. She could tell that he knew what she was thinking. His voice dropped.
"There's nothing between Jessica and me, you know. Oh, there was once, long ago, but we had the good sense to call it off. There's a hardness in her, a center that I could never quite touch. Not the way it always was with—" He brought himself up short. His face grew somber for a moment before he drew a deep breath and continued. "She's our corporate attorney, nothing more. I rely on her tremendously—but only for advice."
Alix flushed out of embarrassment at her transparency. "There was no need to explain," she said stiffly.
"I suppose not," he replied. There was an awkward silence; suddenly she realized that her head was aching. Her fatigue was catching up with her. Her shoulders slumped and she looked down at the floor, wishing that she knew of a convenient way to end this exchange.
Ponce shook his head, almost as though he were trying to clear it of troublesome images. Then he allowed himself to send her a brief, unfathomable look and walked abruptly out the door.
Alix was overtaken by a feeling of heartrending regret. It was as though she might have had a chance to speak to Ponce about the things that troubled her most, but had somehow let the chance slip past. She thought over their conversation; really, he had given her no openings with his businesslike manner, his weary and precipitous leave-taking. Yet she felt an aching void in the aftermath of their exchange, and she knew that there was no possible way to fill it.
Chapter 13
There was little sleep again fo
r Alix that night as she pondered her future course. She believed Ponce's assertion that there was nothing between him and Jessica. Now that her illusions about Ponce and Jessica were torn away, however, she'd better face facts: Ponce didn't want her.
It wasn't because he wanted Jessica instead, but because she'd been fool enough not to tell him about her previous serious relationship with Daniel at the very beginning. Responsible for her own happiness? She'd better accept responsibility for her unhappiness, too. She had no one to blame but herself.
She'd made up her mind to leave Minorcan, and leave she would. But in the brouhaha over Daniel and his subsequent hasty and solo departure on the launch, she'd lost the opportunity. The lack of a ride back to St. Augustine left her no alternative but to work onboard until Ponce sent for the launch again. Then she would tender her resignation and leave Minorcan and Ponce Cabrera behind.
The next day Ponce unexpectedly reassigned her to his diving team, and day after day they worked together, if a bit self-consciously. Ponce treated her with studied restraint, but they managed small talk for the benefit of the crew and exchanged opinions about the treasures which continued to be brought up from the wreck.
Their working relationship gradually became comfortable. As for their personal relationship, it no longer existed. It was not an ideal state of affairs, but it was something they could both live with in order to survive. Their innate professionalism had taken over.
One day, a week or so after Daniel left, Alix was inspecting a twelve-inch bronze bust that had recently been brought up from El Primero. The bust rested on a packing crate on the deck, and she was trying to identify it.
"I'm sure it's a bust of King Philip," she said to whomever happened to be standing around. "From pictures of him that I saw in Spain, I believe that this is what he looked like."
The Beach Bachelors Boxset (Three Complete Contemporary Romance Novels in One) (The Beach Bachelors Series) Page 15