by Erika Wilde
Apparently in no hurry to leave, Melodie settled into one of the chairs in front of Jo’s desk and crossed one leg over the other. “Who would have thought that an escaped felon could be sooo sexy and charming.”
There was no mistaking who she was referring to. “Dean isn’t an escaped felon.”
Melodie grinned in satisfaction. “Ahh, that may be true, but you didn’t deny that he was sexy and charming.”
She shot her friend a direct look. “And your point is?”
“I’m going to ask what no one else in this office has the nerve to,” she said, displaying a gutsiness that surprised Jo, since Melodie was normally so reserved. Too bad she couldn’t bring herself to use that bold assertiveness on Cole who could use a good dose of his own medicine from his secretary.
Jo shuffled through the paperwork and reports she’d left on her desk last Friday to attend to when she returned to the office. “And what question is that?”
Melodie leaned forward, her eyes alight with anticipation. “Is there something going on between you and Dean?”
“What makes you ask that?” she asked without missing a beat.
“Aww, come on, Jo. You might have done a decent job at avoiding the attraction between the two of you out in the reception area, but judging by the intimate way Dean kept on looking at you it was obvious that something’s going on.”
Jo inwardly cringed. If Melodie had seen and sensed the sensual connection between her and Dean, then no doubt so had her brothers. However, she wasn’t about to admit to anything.
Melodie continued. “And since I can only dream of my own fantasy man looking at me that way, let me live vicariously through you.”
Unbidden, images flashed in her mind, of Dean dragging ice over her breasts and belly and following the cold trail with his heated mouth, his strong body moving over hers, in hers, slow and sure, coaxing her surrender which she’d given him willingly. Numerous times.
Jo shook her head, as much to dismiss Melodie’s question as to clear her mind of those provocative and very private scenarios she had no intention of sharing with anyone. “Sorry, but there’s nothing to tell.”
Melodie regarded her for a few extra seconds. “I think you’re holding out on me, but just so you know, I’m here if you need to talk.”
Jo said nothing more, and just then the phone rang, saving her from any further response. With one last encouraging smile, Melodie hustled out of her office to take the call at her own desk.
Dropping into her chair with a heavy, soul-deep exhale, Jo leaned back and closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax. Much to her relief, everyone left her alone for the rest of the afternoon to answer emails and work through her abduction cases on the Internet, until Noah returned with Dean a few hours later.
Saving the document she’d been typing up on her computer, Jo watched as Dean sauntered into her office with an easygoing grin that made her pulse flutter and need coil deep in her belly. No matter how much she wanted to give in to her desires when it came to this earthy, sexual man, she struggled to squash the sensations. She was determined to keep things between them platonic from here on out. Another couple of hours, and he’d be long gone. No sense complicating matters by giving in to the temptation he presented.
“How did it go?” she asked, closing the open file folder in front of her.
“Your brother didn’t interrogate me too badly.” He winked playfully at her.
She winced, not wanting to know what they’d discussed, especially if it pertained to the two of them and their recent road trip. “I meant how did it go down at the station?”
She expected him to sit in one of the chairs, but instead he rounded her desk, came to a stop next to her, and perched his hip on the edge of the sturdy walnut surface. “A set of fingerprints proved my identity and that I’m not the guy in the mug shot you showed me. I was cleared of any charges, but unfortunately there’s still some guy out there assuming my identity, and until he’s caught I’m forced to share my name with a felon.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, truly feeling bad about that.
“Yeah, the whole situation is frustrating as hell,” he agreed.
She inhaled and forced a bright smile. “At least you’re now free to head back to Seattle and get back to that vacation I interrupted. I’d be happy to drive you to the airport.”
The leg closest to her swung back and forth, brushing against her thigh and stirring up a restlessness she’d thought she’d put a tight rein on. “Actually, I was thinking about sticking around for a few days.”
She blinked in surprise. “You were?”
He shrugged casually. “The last time I was in San Francisco it was all business and I didn’t have much time to check out the sights. Besides, I think it would be kinda fun to celebrate my thirty-third birthday on Friday in the city, rather than alone in a cabin out in the middle of nowhere. And before you start worrying, I won’t interfere in your work or make demands on your time,” he assured her with a charming grin. “In fact, on the way back to the office I had Noah make a stop so I could get a rental car and check into a hotel a few miles away from here.”
“Oh.” He had everything under control, and he wasn’t asking her to spend time with him. She’d wanted the distance and had been the one to establish it, yet she’d never expected to feel a sting of rejection at this unexpected twist in Dean’s plans.
He withdrew a slip of paper from his front pocket and put it on the file folder on her desk. “Here’s my cell phone number, along with the name and number of the hotel where I’m staying, if you need me for anything,” he said, then cast a quick glance at his watch before meeting her gaze again. “I just wanted to let you know what’s up with me before I head out for the evening.”
Without her. Another stab of disappointment rippled through her, centering right in the vicinity of her heart. “Where are you off to?”
He stood, looking much too sexy and gorgeous with his tousled hair and form-fitting jeans. Almost good enough for her to think twice about shamelessly begging him to stay with her for the evening, but she refrained from doing so.
“Noah and I seemed to have hit it off,” he told her with an amused smile. “He said he’d be more than happy to show me the hot spots in San Francisco.”
“Sounds like fun. Have a good time,” she said, nearly choking on the words and already resenting the time he was going to spend with her carousing, womanizing brother.
“I’m sure we will.” He headed toward the door, and said over his shoulder, “I’ll stop by sometime tomorrow if I get the chance.” Then he was gone.
If he got the chance. So casual and indifferent. With a groan, Jo buried her face in her hands and swallowed the tight ache forming in her throat. Severing ties with Dean was exactly what she’d wanted to avoid a deeper involvement, and she’d gotten her wish. So why did she feel so confused and empty inside?
She had no easy answers for the unexpected longings taking up residence in her, but she was very adept at buffeting personal emotions she found difficult to deal with. Pushing her hurt and internal upheaval aside, she immersed herself in her missing person case until exhaustion forced her to head home to her quiet, solitary apartment.
She heated a frozen dinner and ate by herself, spent another couple of hours making notes on the cases she’d brought home with her, then crawled between cold sheets that rasped against her sensitized skin as she tossed and turned in bed. Sleep was a long time coming, and this time when terrifying nightmares stole into her dreams and she woke in a cold sweat with tears on her cheeks, there was no one there to hold her and soothe her fears as before.
CHAPTER TWELVE
After checking in with Brett at the office, Dean hung up the phone and scrubbed both hands down his face. His gut churned with dread. A possible buyout of Colter Traffic Control was happening faster than either of them had anticipated, and those important, life-altering decisions Dean had avoided thinking about now demanded his attention. An acceptan
ce or refusal needed to be made within the next week, according to Brett and his attorneys handling the incoming offers and acquisition.
Believing Dean was out in some secluded mountain retreat without phone service, Brett hadn’t expected him to call. Dean brought him up to date on his situation and how he’d been taken into custody and embroiled in a case of mistaken identity. They’d even had a good laugh over Dean believing Brett had sent Jo as a stripper for his birthday surprise.
But things had quickly turned serious when Brett informed him of the latest bid from the company in San Francisco. As sorry as Brett and others were to cut short the first vacation Dean had taken in three years, they needed him back in the office as soon as possible to head up the meetings and make final decisions on the offer.
Over the past few days, any doubts he might have harbored about selling Colter Traffic Control had ebbed into absolute certainty. It was time for him to move on to something more fulfilling than carrying on his father’s legacy. He’d never asked for nor wanted the inheritance, but had taken over out of obligation to his father’s memory, the people he’d employed, and in order to continue supporting his mother. He’d sacrificed his own wants and needs for others and had let fears overrule his relationship with Lora—though he now realized if she’d been that important to him he never would have allowed her to walk out of his life. He would have found a way to make a relationship, a marriage even, work, and to compromise and find a common ground that suited them both.
Now there was Jo to consider, who’d satisfied the restlessness in his soul and completed him in ways he never could have imagined. She was a woman he was more than willing to make sacrifices for and meet halfway in all things, to give and take equally—the kind of tradeoff his own father had never been willing to grant his own wife and family.
He wanted Jo to be a part of his future, yet he had no clear-cut idea where he fit into her life, if at all. While she’d given herself physically to him, she’d withheld her emotions. Obviously, she harbored deep-rooted fears of her own, and whatever demons haunted her soul in the darkest hours of the night went a whole lot deeper than he’d originally thought or imagined.
“Fuck,” he muttered and flopped back on the hotel bed where he’d spent the last two nights—alone—and stared up at the ceiling. He wasn’t ready to return to Seattle, not when he still had unfinished business with Jo, yet he knew he’d never shirk the responsibilities he still had waiting for him, obligations he’d made his own when he’d taken over his father’s company. And that meant leaving Jo so he could be there to make final, important decisions.
He exhaled a harsh breath that did little to ease the frustration and tension gripping him. Staying away from Jo and keeping his distance for the past two days had been the hardest thing Dean had ever done, but he’d had no choice. She’d needed time to come to her own conclusions and figure out what she wanted from him.
He’d managed to keep himself busy sightseeing the city. Hell, he’d even had a good time with Noah that first night and enjoyed their easy comradery. And while her brother had openly asked if there was anything going on between him and his sister, Dean had skirted the issue—neither confirming or denying anything. Surprisingly, Noah had respected his evasion, yet Dean had no doubt that both brothers would hunt him down to serve up their brand of retribution if he ever hurt Jo.
He’d never deliberately cause Jo pain, yet it was nearly impossible to cultivate any kind of relationship with her when she’d detached herself from him. The obstinate woman knew where he was staying, had his number, and hadn’t called—not even to say hello or see how he was doing. He’d graciously given her the space she seemed to need and time alone to think about all that had transpired between them and come around to his way of thinking. Now, with urgent matters waiting for him back home, he was forced to push the issue of them. There had to be some kind of compromise they could reach, unless she truly didn’t want him in her life.
Remembering their last night together and all the vulnerable emotions he’d glimpsed told him otherwise. She was running scared—of what, exactly, he hadn’t yet pinpointed. But he was determined to chip away at those barriers and discover if they even had a chance together. And he had less than twenty-four hours to do so.
With that decision made, he drove his rental car over to Sommers Investigative Specialists. He greeted Melodie with a friendly smile that gained him entrance to Jo’s office. He walked into the room after she answered his knock on the door with a soft, “Come in.”
“Hey,” she said in surprise as he closed the door then approached her desk where she sat. “What brings you by?”
She was happy to see him—the delight shimmering to life in her eyes confirmed that she wasn’t nearly as indifferent to him as she’d like him to believe. “You, of course,” he said, and took up residence in the same spot he’d perched his hip two days earlier—right next to her seat.
She leaned back in her chair and absently toyed with the pen in her hand. “Done sightseeing already?”
He resisted the impulse to lift her from her chair, pull her into his embrace, and kiss her senseless, just to feel her soft and yielding in his arms again. But the truth beckoned, and there was no sense drawing out their inevitable conversation. “Jo…I’m leaving for Seattle tomorrow morning.”
Her eyes widened, filling briefly with startled panic. That quick glimpse was all he needed to see to verify she was deliberately denying both of them time together that could possibly determine the fate of their future, and a relationship.
“I had a firm offer on the company,” he went on, “and I need to be there for negotiations.”
“So, you’re going to sell the business?” Her voice sounded tight, but just as controlled as her emotions now seemed to be.
He nodded slowly. “If the price is right, yeah, I am.”
She considered that for a long moment, her expression giving nothing away. “And then what are you going to do?”
A small smile touched his lips. “I don’t know for certain, but the possibilities are endless.” He grew serious. “When my father died I automatically stepped in to take over the business because it’s what I believed was expected of me, but now I want to take the time to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life instead of making a split-second decision based on everyone else’s expectations. I can’t deny that starting over is a scary prospect after relying on the security of my father’s company for so long, but it’s one of many challenges I’m more than ready to accept.”
“Starting over is never easy,” she replied, her voice quiet, but filled with a depth and knowledge that caught his attention.
He tipped his head and made the spontaneous decision not to let her comment go despite the emotional territory he might be boldly trampling upon. “Are you speaking from personal experience?”
She hesitated, her blue eyes darkening with subtle but unmistakable traces of regret. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
There were still so many things he needed to understand about Jo, and he was feeling desperate enough to push emotional issues that would finally give him insight to her deepest insecurities. And if after this conversation she still sent him away, he hoped he’d at least leave knowing the reasons why she couldn’t give of herself.
“You know all about me, my past, and why I want to sell my father’s company.” And he knew of her devotion to her abduction cases. But one crucial piece of the puzzle that completed this woman was still missing, and he intended to fill in the gap. “Tell me, Jo, why did you quit the police force?” he asked, his tone gentle, but firm.
Her lips tightened, and her eyes flashed with a defiance he’d grown used to. He wasn’t at all surprised when she pushed back her chair, stood, and walked over to the windows overlooking the parking lot, putting more distance between them and automatically erecting emotional barriers.
One by one, he’d tear every last one down. “Was it because of what happened to Brian?” he persisted. All he k
new was that her partner had been shot in the line of duty, but the details of that incident were what concerned him now. “Is that why you quit?”
Arms crossed tight over her chest, she turned around to face him again, seemingly struggling with whether or not to reveal such painful secrets. Long moments passed, and she finally said, “I quit the force because I was responsible for what happened to Brian.” Her words were choked and as raw as the self-condemnation chasing across her features.
Despite believing he was prepared to hear anything, her brutal answer stunned him into absolute silence.
“I’m the reason why Brian is dead,” she reiterated. A rush of tears filled her eyes, and she resolutely blinked them back.
“Tell me about it,” he urged softly, aching for her and the obvious anguish swirling in the depths of her dark blue eyes.
She inhaled a shaky breath to gather her composure, and he waited patiently for her to make the decision to trust him. Finally, she did.
“When I went to work as a cop, because of my gender and slender size my colleagues constantly doubted my physical strength and endurance, and I had to work twice as hard at proving that I was capable of handling every aspect of my job.” Frustration underscored her voice and she shook her head in disgust. “But no matter how many two-hundred-pound men I managed to chase down and cuff, or the numerous times I had to restrain an obnoxious drunk or irate civilian, I never seemed to get the respect I deserved.
“Then I was paired up with Brian as a partner,” she said, turning back to look out the window, her voice distant and far away, seemingly caught up in past memories. “And for the first time since becoming a police officer I had the respect of a man and colleague. Brian believed in equality, and never once treated me as anything less than a fully trained cop. He never questioned my abilities, and he even gave me the confidence to believe in myself…and I repaid his faith in me by costing him his life.”