“I’ve improved a lot since then.”
“On what—cleaning your floors or your skills in the sack?”
Jana grinned sardonically. “Both.”
“I wish we hadn’t done that.”
Jana rolled her eyes. “Don’t start.”
“It seems so incestuous now.” Payton propped her chin in her hand. “I can never say my first time was with the love of my youth. No, I have to admit I took my best friend for a test spin. It was a long time until I could look you in the face and not see your—”
“Hey! I don’t want to go back there.”
Payton nodded. “Better left in the past.”
“Your ass was lily white, like a fish belly,” Jana blurted out just as Payton was about to take a bite of her pizza.
Payton glared at her. “I thought we were done with that.”
“The brightness burned my retinas. You’re the reason I have to wear glasses.”
“Are you done?” Payton asked with impatience.
Jana nodded. “So what’s wrong with you?”
Payton decided to be honest. “I’ve never really felt lonely, but I do now.”
“Aw, because of me? We’ll spend more time together, I’ll make a point of it.”
“No, that’s not it,” Payton said as she watched a couple walk into the parlor where they ate.
“Then stop picking up women in mental institutions.” Jana’s eyes went wide as she said, “Lydia was nuts, no pun.”
“She so was. When I told her I thought it was best that we break things off, she unleashed Barney the Bear on me. He’s an awfully profane character.”
“I know you think Internet dating sites are bullshit, but look at me and Melanie. I feel like she was made for me. I’ll admit I did come across some strange people, but I found Mel. Sign up and have a look around. If you see a profile that looks interesting, chat with her. When you decide you want to meet someone in person, I’ll go with you like you did with me.”
“I met a nice woman the night you met Melanie,” Payton admitted with a winsome smile. “Her only fault is that she belongs to someone else.”
“Speaking of nuts, Leigh’s pretty insanely jealous. The next time we all get together, you may want to keep your distance from Ryann. I know you’d never mess with anyone in a relationship, but Leigh doesn’t, and she was really giving you the stink eye.”
“Yeah, Leigh made that point when she shook my hand and tried to squeeze the bones out of it. I’m surprised she didn’t just pee on Ryann’s leg and mark her territory. The butch meathead.”
“She said with a lot of venom.” Jana stared at Payton as she took a drink of her soda. “You can’t touch—”
“I know,” Payton snapped. She shoved her plate aside. “I just don’t like Leigh.”
Jana wiped her hands on her napkin. “Let’s go back to your house and create a profile for you. Give it a shot.”
*******
“Okay, I’ve made a list of your personality traits, good and bad. We’ll use this list to write a paragraph or two about you.”
Payton huffed. “I’ve already answered like a billion questions. Why do I need to write anything about myself? It’s all right here,” she said as she pointed at the screen.
“This is like an introduction.” Jana stared at her list. “Let’s start with the positive. You’re loyal, great sense of humor, intelligent, reliable. I’m just gonna throw this out there, you’re still kinda good-looking.”
“Ass.”
“Now for the negative. You’re sarcastic, impatient behind the wheel, you don’t cook, your retirement plan sucks because you don’t have one. You spend most of your time in a padded room.”
“It’s a studio.”
Jana tapped her pen on the desk. “Get serious, or you’re gonna end up with another squirrel.”
“Let’s just write the damn paragraph.”
“You’re impulsive, often cranky, can be pushy, you—”
Payton snatched the paper out of Jana’s hand. “I can’t help but notice the negative list is longer than the positive.” Her jaw sagged. “It goes down the page!”
“Hey, I’m just being honest here.”
Payton tossed the paper aside and began to talk as she typed. “If you’re in touch with your inner squirrel, I’m not your girl. I like the theater, especially musicals. I don’t care much for sports, but I’d sit beside the right woman on Sunday afternoons if football makes her swoon. I like to talk and walk, I can do both at the same time and still chew gum. If you’re lazy, hit the bricks, Daisy, I’m not looking for a bum. I don’t cook, but for the right woman, I’d learn and happily do it while she read a book. If what I’ve written doesn’t make you uneasy, take a chance and chat with me.”
“Don’t you dare send that!” Jana wasn’t fast enough to stop Payton from hitting the enter key. She sat back with a scowl. “You’re not taking this seriously at all. That’s going in the negative column.”
“Better get a fresh sheet of paper,” Payton said offhandedly as she began to look at some of the profiles. “I’m not putting my picture on here. Oh, shit! That’s scary.” She clicked onto the next page. “Jana, this woman has a beard.”
“We’ve talked about this before, you need reading glasses. You’re looking at available straight men. Click the tab on the right and find ‘lesbian’ if you can.”
“My eyesight is fine.”
“Yeah?” Jana moved closer to Payton. “You just clicked Latino.” She nudged Payton’s hand out of the way and performed the search. “I’m not too familiar with this site. It isn’t one I used, but it’s local. I think you’ll have better luck because you’re going to need it.”
“Shut up.” Payton leaned back from the screen. “Summerlover says she’s the fun-loving outdoors type. Great sense of humor, good sense of style, above-average figure, she’s not one to brag.”
“I need to explain some things to you. Look at me for a second, focus.”
Payton turned and stared into Jana’s eyes. “This isn’t going to be good, is it?”
“You know how car dealers refer to vehicles as pre-owned instead of used? Pre-owned sounds so much better than used, but they basically mean the same thing. Above-average figure means slightly overweight. Small frame means skinny, fit usually means just that, they’re gym junkies. If you see ‘we’ll discuss it later’ next to anything, warning bells should go off.”
“What does average figure mean because that’s what you put down for me?”
Jana winced. “It means average, not skinny or overweight.”
“Then I’m fit.”
“The only muscles you work regularly are in your tongue. Let’s look at some profiles.”
Payton blew out a breath. “I’m trying not to be offended.”
“You’re honest with me, and I do the same for you. Hey, check out Lyrical77. She sings in a choir.”
“No.”
Jana moved closer to the screen and opened another profile. When the picture enlarged, she shoved Payton out of the way. “Oh, my God!”
“You’ve got a girlfriend.” Payton grunted as she tried to scoot her chair closer.
“Payton, that’s Leigh.”
“No way. Move.” They sat almost cheek to cheek staring at the profile picture. “That asshole.”
“Well, let’s not jump to conclusions. She may’ve done this before she met Ryann and just forgot to take it down. But this site is less than a year old. I was going to build a profile here, then I met Melanie and never got around to it.” Jana sucked her teeth. “This picture doesn’t look like it was taken a long time ago. Melanie is gonna shit. Oh! Look, she made a post three days ago. ‘Wishing I was anywhere but here.’”
Neither of them said anything as they continued to stare at the profile. Payton couldn’t tear her gaze from a line in Leigh’s introduction. I’m not looking for commitment, but if the right one came along, I might change my mind.
Jana stood and set her hands o
n her hips. “I need to get home and show this to Melanie.”
“What’re y’all gonna do?” Payton looked up at her.
“This is Melanie’s call, they’re her friends. I’ll call you later.”
Payton didn’t see Jana out; instead, she sat at the computer staring at the screen. She couldn’t view the find as a fortunate turn of events. As much as she wanted to be thrilled that Leigh was a cheater, she knew that Ryann’s heart would be broken.
Chapter 5
“Ponkey the Donkey had a little saddle, and when he went into town, my how it did rattle,” Payton sang and bit her bottom lip. “Do donkeys wear saddles?”
She made a note to research that, then played a somber tune on her piano. Ryann had been on her mind since the night before when she and Jana had found Leigh’s profile. She would’ve jumped at the chance to date Ryann, but in her opinion, things had gone from hopeless to utterly hopeless in that department. Women in relationships were off-limits, but women with broken hearts were to be avoided at all cost. She’d filled the position of rebound woman once and swore it was an experience she’d never repeat.
When they met, Julianna didn’t divulge that she was trying to get over her ex. Payton had sensed a reticence in her, but then again, Julianna had said from day one that she wanted to take things slow. Payton was young, still in college and ready to be in love. She forged on, ignoring cues that should’ve given her pause. She chipped deeply into her food money to buy flowers and a bottle of wine, and when she showed up at Julianna’s apartment, she found herself kicked to the curb.
“All the good ones are gone,” Payton sang as she played a tune fit for a funeral procession. “I will spend my days alone. No whispers of love, my sorrows I will drown in Dove—chocolate. No nights of passion, no hand to hold. My fun parts will mold.”
Her phone was normally set on mute when she was in the studio, but she’d been waiting on a call from Jana, and the shrill ring nearly sent her toppling from her bench. “Hey, what’s going on?”
“Drama. Melanie called Leigh at work today, and she’s gonna stop by her place tonight. I’m coming to see you because I wasn’t invited.”
“Did Melanie tell you what Leigh said when she talked to her?”
“She did,” Jana said quietly. “I should’ve shut the door to my office before I called you. Give me a sec.”
“Yeah, you should’ve,” Payton spat out when Jana put her on hold. “You don’t wave a bone in front of a hungry dog! I should chew your arm off.”
“You there?” Jana asked when she picked up the line again.
“Yeah,” Payton said nonchalantly.
“Melanie said she didn’t mince words. She asked Leigh if she had a minute, she said yes, and when Melanie told her that she’d seen the profile, total silence. Then she started begging Melanie not to tell Ryann before she could explain everything. Melanie’s upset because she loves both of them.”
“Let me tell you this for future reference. If I ever fall in love and you find out my partner is doing something like that, you’d better not go to her first. I can’t express how betrayed I’d feel.”
“That’s not something you have to warn me about. I’d always go to you first. Melanie met them as a couple, so she’s doing what she thinks is right.”
“No, she’s giving Leigh a shot to make a bunch of excuses, so she won’t say anything to Ryann,” Payton retorted angrily.
Jana exhaled loudly. “Let’s just wait and see what happens tonight.”
“Okay, what’re we ordering—Chinese or are you feeling Mexican?”
“I could do some mixed grill fajitas. Want me to pick them up on the way over?”
Payton drummed her fingers on the top of her piano. “I’ll make a pitcher of margaritas.”
“Great, I’ll see you around six thirty.”
When the call ended, Payton sank back down on her bench. She didn’t like how the situation was being handled and knew it wasn’t really fair to fuss at Jana. There was no way she could be open-minded. She saw herself as Ryann’s ally and felt that Ryann should’ve been the one Melanie talked to first.
*******
At six thirty that evening, Payton was in the window like Grace’s dog Trevor with her nose pressed to the glass. She had deadlines looming but hadn’t written anything but hate songs dedicated to Leigh. “Is this your first time to act like slime, or have you been a greedy bitch all along? She wears your ring with pride and doesn’t know all the things you hide. Cold days are coming soon…buffoon.”
The second Jana’s tires hit her driveway, Payton returned to the kitchen and poured the pitcher of margaritas she’d mixed into two glasses and set them on the kitchen table. Jana didn’t bother to knock; she knew the door would be open. She strode into the kitchen with a large paper sack and set it on the table.
“Good food two nights in a row! Melanie’s been feeding me what she calls ‘clean’ food. Free-range chicken is good, but it’s always baked, and we have it every night with veggies that are hardly cooked.”
“That you have to come over here to eat what you like means you’re already poultry whipped,” Payton said as she dug into the bag and pulled out all the Styrofoam containers. “What time is she supposed to meet Leigh?”
“Anytime now. She may already be over there. Have we turned into gossip hounds? We didn’t used to care about this kind of thing.”
“It’s Ryann I’m worried about.” Payton pushed a plate in Jana’s direction. “I like her, she’s a decent person, and she’s in the dark in all of this. It makes me sad for her, and I feel like a jerk.”
Jana spooned the meat and shrimp mixture onto a tortilla. “I think you’re more into her than you’re willing to admit.”
“No, I admit it. I would’ve asked her out the night we met if she wasn’t in a relationship, but let’s put that in the box. I like her as a person. She’s genuine, and I consider her a friend.”
Jana stopped what she was doing and gave Payton a little shove. “You’re into her, seriously into her…shit! I thought I noticed it when you were at the barbecue, but I shrugged it off because you are not that stupid.”
“Don’t call me that you…you accountant.”
“Was that supposed to be an insult?”
“You’re so mathematical. You get turned on by retirement and savings accounts. You’re so…practical. How can you possibly understand how I feel?”
Jana threw her hands on her hips. “Now I’m insulted.”
“You called me stupid. I’m not, but I’m drawn to Ryann by something that doesn’t even make sense to me. I know you won’t get it, either.”
“Payton, even if they break up tonight, Ryann will be damaged for a long time.”
“I know,” Payton said miserably. “I have to stay away from her.”
They both sat, and Jana watched Payton just stare at the food on her plate. “Yes, I’m logical, sometimes too much. You’re on the opposite end of the spectrum. My brain leads me, your heart leads you. So let’s apply some logic here, maybe it’ll help.”
“Okay.” Payton sighed and picked up her margarita.
“For now, let’s just agree that you truly don’t know Ryann.”
“I feel like I do. That’s the thing, I feel like I’ve known her all my life. I know it’s crazy. If I believed in reincarnation, I’d swear we were together in another life.”
“That’s a feeling,” Jana said kindly. “Tell me the most basic facts you know about her.”
“She’s a history teacher. She’s one of seven children with a shitload of nieces and nephews. Her real name is Ryanna. She…” Payton stalled out and scrubbed at her face.
“Ryann seems like a really sweet woman, but what if she’s not? Maybe she berates and belittles Leigh. Maybe she’s cheated on her. She could be manipulative. She could be draining Leigh dry financially. Maybe the woman you met is a front for a really dark soul.”
“I thought we were dealing in facts. I’m hearing a lot of may
bes.”
“I’m making a point. You don’t know her.”
“I hate it when you’re logical. Quit hogging the guacamole.”
Payton grabbed it when Jana didn’t readily give it up. “Leigh is jealous and paranoid, that’s the mark of someone who cheats. We didn’t see her having lunch with another woman who could’ve been a business associate. She made a damn profile on a dating site, that’s the same thing as a fishnet. She’s probably already had a large haul.”
Jana shrugged. “Maybe they have an open relationship.”
“I don’t think that’s Ryann’s style,” Payton said with a frown.
“We’ll wait to draw our conclusions after Melanie talks to Leigh. But it really isn’t any of our business.”
Payton felt it was. Jana did understand her better than anyone, but this was one of those rare times they wouldn’t meet in the middle. As Payton ate, she was forced to concede that Jana was right—she truly didn’t know Ryann. Jana didn’t understand instinct, either, and that was what Payton was relying on. Ryann was someone special, and Payton was torn between her heart’s desire to rush to her aid and her good sense that said wait.
“When are you gonna go into the studio and record those songs?”
“I’m scheduled for next Thursday. I’m kind of nervous. I can sing my ass off in my own house, especially when I know what I record is just a demo for the producers to get a feel for the song. This is the real deal.”
“It could lead to something,” Jana said between bites. “You might end up singing more than writing.”
Payton shook her head. “They hired me because I ‘captured the essence of Julie.’ There’s not much of a call for a woman who can make herself sound like a ten-year-old girl. There are plenty of kids who could do what I did. The budget is tight, and Julie isn’t a primary character. I’m sure they felt safe with cutting that corner.”
“You’re way too hard on yourself.”
Payton wasn’t in the mood to talk about pipe dreams and changed the subject. “Grace’s granddaughter brought over a casserole today. I’m gonna send that home with you.”
“It might be better than the rock hard broccoli I’ve been eating lately. Any hits on your profile?”
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