by J.A. Sprouls
Chapter 19
When they got back to the hideout Lark and Jethro proceeded straight to Pigtail's cabin to inform him of the Flug's attack on the cave. Wicket and Tally followed them into the cabin, not wanting to miss out on anything good.
"The Flugs blew up the entrance of the cave. It's totally covered with rock and dirt now," Jethro told them.
"Didn't they realize that we weren’t in there?" Pigtail asked.
"Nope, I set up dummies of Tally and Wicket in the cave's entrance. So it looked like we were still there and the dummies were the lookouts. The Flugs aren't all that smart and they pretty much think all humans look alike. They fell for it, hook, line and sinker," Jethro laughed.
"So they think we are buried underneath all that rubble? This means they shouldn't come looking for us any time soon. At least until we rob a stagecoach. Then they will know we weren't killed or trapped in the cave," Pigtail said.
"That's pretty much the scope of it," Jethro agreed.
"I guess this means we should really think about this next robbery and figure out a way not to let the Flugs know that we are still out there robbing. Any ideas as to what tipped them off to us in the first place?" Pigtail asked the others.
"It was the cannonballs hitting the dirt. It would have sent a rumble through the tunnels and they would have felt that. Then they have those Flugs who are topside who would have witnessed it all. I think it'll be mighty hard not to let the Flugs know that we are still out here. We can stop using the cannons, that should stop the rumblings but as to those Flugs who are topside, that's another story. We would need to know their whereabouts and then avoid those areas. I have no idea about how to get a location on them. They blend in with the dirt so well that you could be standing on top of one of them and you wouldn't know it. Well, you'd know it, but that would be because they would be yelling at you to get off them. But that's the only way," Jethro explained.
"Too bad we don't have any little creatures of our own to use as scouts to let us know where the Flugs are." Wicket was thinking out loud.
"Hey, what if we got some of the other creatures to help us? I bet they don't like the Wind Hag either. Maybe they know of some way to destroy her. That would really be getting even with her, making her lose her kingdom and all," Tally said excitedly.
"Yeah, but who would we get?" Wicket asked.
"We couldn't get any Knarls to help us. I treated that little Piteque badly and didn't even let him have the honey, so that rules them out," Pigtail added.
"Actually," Pill said rather hesitantly, "I gave Piteque the honey. I mean, the deal was that he would get an audience with the Wind Hag for us and he lived up to his end of the bargain. So I thought it was only fair to give him the honey."
Pigtail smiled at Pill's act of kindness and thought to himself that she would never make it as a real life pirate. He secretly hoped that she never found her father because he was relatively sure that she would be really disappointed in the type of person he was.
"So do you think we should try and find a Knarl and ask them if they want to help bring down the Wind Hag? They might actually know of a way of taking her out," Lark asked.
"I think we should find one and ask them to join us for dinner. Then we could feel them out as to whether they would be willing to help us or not," Pigtail suggested.
"But we don't need to invite them here. The last thing we need is for one of them to tattle to the Flugs and then lead them to our hideout. So we need to have this dinner as far away from here as possible," Jethro said.
"Actually, I think that plan would be moot," Pill stated.
"Why is that?" Pigtail asked.
"Piteque is sitting in that mesquite tree just over there," Pill pointed over to a tree just outside the hideout's entrance. "I bet he's been listening to everything we've been saying."
"How the heck do you know it's Piteque? All Knarls look alike to me," Jethro asked.
"Because he still has the jar that had the honey in it. See it; it's at the base of the tree," Pill pointed to the tree again.
"Well I'll be, I wonder how long he's been following us? If it's been since we moved to the cave then he could have warned us about the Flug's first attack last night. That might be a clear sign that he isn't willing to help," Pigtail pointed out to the others.
"Or, it could mean that I didn't know about the attack and so I couldn't warn you about it." Piteque shouted as he climbed out of the mesquite tree and walked over the others. "The Flugs don't like the Knarls and we return the favor. They are filthy dirty things that wallow around in mud and call it a 'bath.' We avoid them just as much as they avoid us. Besides we live topside and the Flugs are undergrounders. Well, those who haven't gotten into trouble with the Wind Hag are undergrounders, the others are punished by being sent topside. So there was no way I could have known that they were going to attack. Though I figure it was considered retribution after you beat the stuffing outta their spy, Gorbook." He nodded his head in Wicket's direction as he said this last part.
"I didn't beat anyone, let alone a Flug," Wicket said defensively.
"Yeah, you did, when you were hitting that snake you also hit the cactus. And one of the cacti was Gorbook. He's one of their top covert field operatives. He's a master of disguise. I didn't even realize that the cactus was him until he started to crawl away. I didn't mention that because I didn't figure that Gorbook would admit to what happened. I mean, being jumped and beaten when you're undercover normally means your cover has been blown so it makes you look like you're doing shoddy work. That usually means a trip topside."
"So they sent a Flug to come and spy on us? I guess we need to get some lookouts set up to watch the parameters. The last thing we need is to have another attack, most particularly since they are blasting things now," Pigtail sighed.
"Actually, my sources say that was the last of their gun powder. So you needn't worry about that. My sources also say that the Flugs think you were in the cave when it blew so you are now trapped. So they shouldn't be sending someone to search for you anytime soon. Though if you rob anything else and use those cannonballs and shake the earth then they will know you are not trapped," Piteque told them.
"Is that why they came after us this last time, because we used cannonballs?" Pill asked.
"Oh, my, yes, they don't like anyone to disturb the earth and your cannonballs not only shook the earth but it sent dirt flying. That's two major no-no's as far as the Flugs are concerned."
"But the Wind Hag disturbs the dirt when she creates a dust storm. How come it's okay for her to do it and not us?" Jethro said defensively.
"Because she is an all-powerful being who has the power to control the wind. And I'm not just talking about topside either. She can send a fierce wind through the tunnels and sends Flugs flying. That doesn't even take into account of the mess that the Flugs have to clean up afterwards. So she can do what she wants. She is, basically, their queen. This is why she has that big old throne of hers and why the Flugs are her 'army' of minions. So of course they are going to take whatever she hands them. But you're not all-powerful and you can't control anything, really. So they aren't scared of you humans in the slightest bit," Piteque explained.
"Is there some way we can take the Wind Hag down?" Pigtail asked.
"You could rob her of her powers. But that's all you could do and that wouldn't be easy. If it were easy then it would have been done by the Flugs years ago," Piteque said.
"Well, we are pirates and robbing is what we do best. After all, we robbed the wagon train, didn't we?" Pigtail said matter of factly.
"True, but what did you get to show for your efforts?" Piteque asked.
The pirates sat there and looked sheepish. It was one thing to know you didn't get anything from the wagon train and another to have someone or something else know it too. No one likes to have a failure thrown in their face.
"Okay, so we didn't get anything worth mentioning from the wagon train. But that was due to the fact that
they didn't have anything to start with. You can't get tomato juice from a turnip. So we don't have anything to show for our efforts but the fact is we stopped them and held them at bay and robbed them. So we did do the job we had set out to do and we succeeded in that respect. It wasn't our fault that they didn't have anything valuable," Pigtail said in a rather defensive tone.
"He's got a point; we did do the job we set out to do. We just picked the wrong thing to rob. We should have gone after a stagecoach and not a wagon train," Jethro agreed with the Captain. "I take full responsibility for that. I should have known better. After all, I've led wagon trains most of my life and I just didn't think about the fact that most families are trying to escape poverty, so they wouldn't have too many valuables."
"Actually, the truth be told, the Captain wanted to make it where the people who come under the Wind Hag's protection would not feel safe. So that would be a bad reflection on the Wind Hag and her powers to protect those in her territory. We managed that so we did achieve what we initially set out to do. Any money we got was just going to be the icing on the cake," Pill added.
"True, I did want the Wind Hag to pay for not granting us our request. I mean, she wouldn't have sent the Flugs out to get us if we hadn't managed that, would she?" Pigtail brightened up a bit at this realization.
"True, the Flugs would never have come after you without her orders. It doesn’t matter how much dirt you displace. They are too scared of doing something that she wouldn't like. So they get permission for every little thing. They even got permission to set up a compost heap. What difference would it have made if they had set it up without her permission? They are just too scared of her and her wind." Piteque was rummaging around in the cabinets looking for honey as he said this.
"So, we have established that we are competent robbers and that we did actually achieve our mission, though we have nothing to show for it. I think we should have no problem robbing the Wind Hag of her power. That is if a certain someone was to tell us just how to go about doing that," Pigtail summed it up and had turned to look at Piteque, who had his head sticking inside the lard bucket.
"You're not gonna find any honey in there," Lark giggled as he pulled his head out with some of the lard sticking to the top of his head.
Piteque wiped the lard outta his hair and it ended up being slicked back and unmoving. This gave Wicket a great idea.
"Hey, I bet we could sell that stuff as a hair product. You know, 'If you don't want flyaway hair then use Lardo, the complete hair care product that guarantees your hair will stay in place.' That could be the next big thing," Wicket was smiling as he said this.
"Well, it's a heck of a lot better idea than the sushi," Tally admitted but deep down inside he really didn't think people would be gullible or stupid enough to want to slick their hair back with lard.
"Sushi?" Lark looked questioningly at Tally.
"It's a long and rather sickening story that involves raw fish and restaurants. I'll tell you about it later," Tally said as soon as he saw the look on Pigtail's face. The last thing he wanted was to tick off the Captain. He was pretty sure the Captain was still a might ticked about his sleep fighting last night, even if it did save their lives.
"I'll be more than happy to tell you about how to rob her of her power source. But like I say, if it were something that was easy to do then the Flugs would have done it ages ago."
"The Flugs, no offense, don't strike me as being the swiftest of creatures so I figure they haven't robbed her of her power source because they are just too dumb to figure out how. All we need is all the necessary information about it and where it is. Then we can devise a plan to steal it from her. Once we get our hands on it then we can use it to send ourselves back to the Gulf and away from here. Now that would really tick off the Wind Hag. And I want nothing more than to tick her off," Pigtail was rubbing his hands together just itching to get started on the planning.
The others were just as excited about robbing the Wind Hag but for them it was more for the adventure than for the power itself. Sitting around the cave and now their new hideout could get rather tedious and boring. And the adrenalin rush from the wagon train holdup had long ago worn off. So Pill went over to the locked cabinet and pulled a small jar of honey from it and gave it to Piteque on the condition that he would give them all the details they needed to plan this robbery and that he would help if necessary. Piteque agreed, but mainly because he wanted the Wind Hag brought down, the honey was just a bonus as far as he was concerned.
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