That false alarm was enough for us. Danny and I knew we had to get out of there. We fixed our hair, staggered our exits, and within moments we were back in our respective circles as if nothing had ever happened. The two of us didn’t talk for the rest of the party, and I went back to my room without so much as a good night kiss. I haven’t spoken to Danny since, and I have no idea what the future holds for us.
But we’ll always have Jake’s room.
jschwartzinfinity has signed on at 12:23 p.m.
jschwartzinfinity: hey dude
getsome_danny24: yo
jschwartzinfinity: didnt see you for bfast or lunch
getsome_danny24: probly cuz i was sleepin
jschwartzinfinity: oh
jschwartzinfinity: hey man its like
jschwartzinfinity: 5th day of break
jschwartzinfinity: we havent even hung out yet man
getsome_danny24: i kno dude im sry
getsome_danny24: after xmas i promise
jschwartzinfinity: so im guessin you cant hang out today?
getsome_danny24: naw man sry
getsome_danny24: cant today
getsome_danny24: after xmas is better
jschwartzinfinity: when after xmas?
getsome_danny24: idk dude
getsome_danny24: im busy all week
getsome_danny24: family n stuff
getsome_danny24: like in the new yr maybe
jschwartzinfinity: oh
jschwartzinfinity: okay
jschwartzinfinity: sounds cool
getsome_danny24: ya
getsome_danny24: g2g
getsome_danny24 has signed off at 12:28 p.m.
jschwartzinfinity: hey dude
russellOWMYBALLS: o hey jake
russellOWMYBALLS: been a while
jschwartzinfinity: u were at my familys party
russellOWMYBALLS: o right
russellOWMYBALLS: totes forgot about that lol
jschwartzinfinity: hey you doin anything today?
russellOWMYBALLS: sry man cant
russellOWMYBALLS: xmas shopping all day
russellOWMYBALLS: prob 2morrow 2
jschwartzinfinity: oh no thats cool
russellOWMYBALLS: yea
russellOWMYBALLS has signed off at 12:34 p.m.
jschwartzinfinity: hi
jschwartzinfinity: dorothy?
jschwartzinfinity: i found your sn on facebook
jschwartzinfinity: i hope thats ok
mrsgandalf88: hello
jschwartzinfinity: hey
jschwartzinfinity: ok
jschwartzinfinity: so i want to say sorry
jschwartzinfinity: for the way i acted last week
jschwartzinfinity: i was completely lame
jschwartzinfinity: and i just wanted to let you know
jschwartzinfinity: i feel really bad about it
mrsgandalf88: Jake Schwartz
mrsgandalf88: your apology
mrsgandalf88: is accepted
mrsgandalf88: by me.
jschwartzinfinity: thank you
jschwartzinfinity: that actually means a lot
mrsgandalf88: I appreciate your apology.
mrsgandalf88: It means we can be friends again
mrsgandalf88: for which I am grateful.
jschwartzinfinity: yeah yeah
mrsgandalf88: so how are you doing this break, Jake?
mrsgandalf88: (break Jake rhyme haha)
mrsgandalf88: are you working on any new stories?
jschwartzinfinity: hey dorothy i g2g
mrsgandalf88: very well
mrsgandalf88: as they say, “later.”
jschwartzinfinity: haha yeah
jschwartzinfinity has signed off at 12:48 p.m.
jschwartzinfinity has signed on at 12:53 p.m.
jschwartzinfinity: hey dorothy?
mrsgandalf88: yes, Jake?
mrsgandalf88: did you intend to sign back on so soon?
jschwartzinfinity: what are you doing today?
mrsgandalf88: hrmmm
mrsgandalf88: interesting question.
mrsgandalf88: most likely I will remain in my room
mrsgandalf88: reading mangas
mrsgandalf88: and having a wicked break.
jschwartzinfinity: ok well
jschwartzinfinity: Dorothy
jschwartzinfinity: how would you like to come hang out at my house?
mrsgandalf88: oh
mrsgandalf88: really?
mrsgandalf88: Holy Table!
mrsgandalf88: I would like that
mrsgandalf88: I would like that a lot.
mrsgandalf88: on which day?
jschwartzinfinity: how bout today
mrsgandalf88: when?
jschwartzinfinity: how bout 2
mrsgandalf88: 2 o’clock today?
mrsgandalf88: o frabjous day!
jschwartzinfinity: callooh callay
mrsgandalf88: :D
jschwartzinfinity: let me tell you how to get here
mrsgandalf88: oh, I already know how.
jschwartzinfinity: wait
jschwartzinfinity: you do?
mrsgandalf88: I own a school directory
mrsgandalf88: and a global positioning system
mrsgandalf88: silly.
jschwartzinfinity: right, right
mrsgandalf88: so
mrsgandalf88: Jake Schwartz
mrsgandalf88: I will be seeing you at 2.
jschwartzinfinity: yeah, definitely
mrsgandalf88: definitely!
jschwartzinfinity has signed off at 12:58 p.m.
mrsgandalf88 has signed off at 12:59 p.m.
16 • Dorothy Wu
Thursday, December 31
I think about the year that has been and I smile. This year I accomplished many marvelous things. I graduated from Truman Elementary, of course, and at the end-of-elementary-school-honors ceremony, I won several awards for my prowess in computer art. I made it through an entire family road trip without calling my little brother a pest. I became a woman in the biological sense, and yet I remain a girl in the spiritual sense. (Actually, spiritually I would say that I am half girl, half cat. But that is for the spirits to decide, is it not?) Yes, yes, yes, overall, the past 365 days have been very good to me.
And especially the last nine.
For these have been the days in which I have gotten to frolic with my dear Prince Jacobim. Now, let me be most clear about this: we are just friends. Let us not forget, he ran away from me crying in the hallway for a reason. Jake does not desire a relationship. That is what he said. He would like for us to be friends.
And what friends we now are! Ever since that fateful instant message conversation in which Jake begged for my forgiveness, we have seen each other every single day except for three. We have played video games together. We have read our stories and poems to each other. Jake even said that soon I might get the chance to visit the set of one of his father’s movies. Even though I do not care much for American cinema, I still consider this very exciting!
Today was the most wonderful day of all—we went to the beach. Now, I know what one might think here: beach equals date and date equals love and love equals sex. Dirty mind! Jake does not love me. He likes me very strongly as friends do. That is all.
Of course, I would like to think that in its own special way, our day at the beach was just a small bit romantic. Jake arrived at my house in the early afternoon. It was his first visit to my home, a fact that made me exceedingly nervous. For you see, my house is roughly one-sixteenth the size of his, and so I thought he might laugh in my face upon arriving and demand to see “the real thing.”
Much to my happiness, that scenario did not occur. Jake did not find my house tiny. Rather, he found it charming. He enjoyed my family as well, even my father. (Who was extremely friendly today. Why? Methinks because I gave him the impression that Jake was a math tutor. Little white lies do not hurt anybody!)
Upon seeing my room, Jake paid me the ultimate compliment. He said, “It reminds me of my room.”
!!!
That is just the sort of thing I was hoping he would say! It is an accurate statement, too. Both of our rooms are, as they say, “busy.” Posters and action figures and stuffed characters and piles of books and strange board games fill every nook and cranny. Furthermore, both Jake and I have the same exact poster of a large cat wearing a tuxedo and a top hat. The poster says “High Class Cat.” We both possess it, but neither of us knows how we got it. I believe that this makes us kindred souls.
Ah, but what am I babbling on about my room for? I frequent my room every day. It is far less often that I get to walk along the beach with a certain Jacob Emanuel Schwartz.
Because my family lives near the Eastside, and not in Seabrook like the richies, the beach is a fair jaunt from our house. So to get to the waves, Jake and I had to travel by bike. It was quite comical. Jake had to ride Darrell’s bike, which is already too small even for little ten-year-old Darrell. Jake resembled a clown on that tiny thing! But, like a clown, he was good-natured about it.
(Even though, as Jake told me, he has never much liked riding bicycles. Ever since he was little, he has always preferred trikes as a mode of transportation, that is what he said. The way he said it was mucho cute, too. That is why he is my boy.)
(Just a friend, though! My friendboy.)
When we arrived at the beach, it was surprisingly and wonderfully not crowded. I suppose that most people do not like to venture into the waves on cloudy, cold New Year’s Eves. That just meant more ocean fun for Jake and me. Well, Jake was the one who really had ocean fun. The first thing he did when we got there was throw off his shirt and jump into the water screaming, “CANNONBALL!” with all the volume he could muster. All I could say was, “Bah. Boys.”
It is not that I do not like playing in the waves, it is just… bathing suits. I had one on underneath my black jacket and black pants, but I did not feel like wearing only it and nothing else. Jake should have known that. Perhaps he did realize it eventually, because after I watched him romp around and body surf for several minutes, he swam back to where I was on the shore and got out of the water (which made me happy) and put his shirt back on (drat!).
Sometimes when I look at dating Web sites for my own personal amusement and for tips on how to be irresistible, I notice that people, in their lists of things that they like, often say “long walks on the beach.” I have always wondered why, and now I know. For after Jake’s brief spell in the ocean, the two of us had the most joyous time just walking on the beach and getting to know each other better as chums.
At first, our conversation was as light and breezy as the light breeze. We talked of cartoons, of mythology, of fantastical scenarios, and all the while I helped Jake find flat rocks that he could skip on the ocean waters. He is a very good skipper; on one skip he got nine skips! He said that his father taught him how when he was little. Jake tried to show me how, but I was poor even for a novice. I can make the rock plunk into the sea, and that is about it. Sorry, fishies.
After some time, Jake skipped all the skippable stones that there were and so we sat down on a large flat rock. This was where the conversation became rather different.
At first, we talked about writing club. We talked about how brilliant Mr. Mo is, how quiet and mysterious Whitney is, how weird-smelling Tyler is. But then when we got to Danny, who I believe to be Jake’s favorite friend in the entire world, except for possibly me these past nine days, Jake did not want to talk much. I did not understand why. I still do not understand why. Did Jake and Danny have a fight? I do not think they had a fight. Yet why else would Jake turn silent and grumpy at the mere mention of his pal’s name? I was vexed to the max.
So rather than continue on with that “awkward turtle” moment, I deftly changed the subject. I asked Jake when we would be able to visit the set of his father’s film. Again, much to my surprise, Jake became quiet, so different from the boy I watched in the waves. He muttered something about “Knowing my dad, not for a while,” and then he trailed off and it got quiet again, and so we were back to the first square.
Once more, I thought it would be prudent to save the conversation. So I started talking about my father, but then I realized that I never want to talk about my father. I faded back into silence after a few words, and so there we were on the big flat rock, close and far apart at the same time.
There were many things I wanted to tell Jake. I wanted to tell him about his role in my stories and about his role in my life the past few months. I knew that that would probably be a terrible thing to do, considering what happened the last time I tried to tell him things of a personal nature, but the silence was just so unbearable that I was about to tell him anyway, because I just had to, because I was feeling it so much right then, and there was nothing that was going to stop me from making what would have been a Jupiter-sized mistake, and so I was about to cry, “JAKE SCHWARTZ, YOU DARLING CHAP, THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU,” but then—but then—but then—
But then we saw the dolphins. A whole pod of dolphins, no more than two stone skips from where we were sitting. Holy Mother of Table, I remember thinking. There were so many of them, at least a dozen I would say, jumping and playing and smiling. (I know that the facial structure of a dolphin makes it look as if they are always smiling, but these ones really were. I know it.) I do not think that dolphins usually come out to play that late in the afternoon, or ever, but there these ones were, prancing about and celebrating New Year’s Eve with us. A whole pod of chipper, cheerful dolphins. And all of them stayed out in the waves for nearly twenty minutes, putting on their private show for Jake and me. It was, as they say, a miracle.
A couple times during the dolphins’ grand dance, I peeked over at Jake and I saw that his eyes were wet and that a couple of tears were sliding down his cheeks. He was making no effort to wipe them off. He did not have to. It was wonderful. Those magnificent marine mammals were just what we needed. Truly, they were a gift from Poseidon himself.
Hey, Poseidon, I am sorry about all those mean things I said about you in my stories. Thanks for the happy beach day and for sending the dolphins and really just for everything. You are all right after all. And Prince Jacobim, I am also sorry for what I said about you. You are all right, too.
17 • Jake Schwartz
Friday, January 1
My best friends are pretty great—both of them.
I think I know why Dorothy sucks at math. She sucks at math because she’s weird. Allow me to explain.
She was at my house this morning, like she is most mornings these days, and I was helping her study for her math final. I know it’s early to be studying—break isn’t even over yet, the end of the semester is weeks away—but she’s got to raise her grade. And Dorothy agreed with me on that, actually. She told me her dad said the same thing. She then added that she likes studying when it’s with me. That’s cool.
But she’s so bad at studying! I was in the middle of explaining fraction-decimal conversion to her when Dorothy went on this ten-minute tangent about how she thinks of each number as having a different personality. In her opinion, the numbers 1 to 9 are not just numbers—they’re characters. 1 is a cocky athlete, 2 is a shy librarian, 3 is a funny magician/entertainer, 4 is an older, spiritual woman, 5 is a young, streetwise pickpocket, 6 is a rebellious skater, 7 is a very popular girl who is actually very boring, 8 is a fat and loveable baker, and 9 is a sex-crazed spy. Dorothy seriously thinks of the numbers this way, as if they’re her friends.
This explains her math suckitude. When I was helping her, I would say things like, “All right, here you’re gonna multiply two and five,” and she would be like, “Oh, two would not do that. Two hates five. She finds him incredibly unsexy.” On the one hand, it was so frustrating. But D. Wu is D. Wu, and that’s what makes her great.
With all that nuttiness, we didn’t get very far. I’d say Dorothy’s only about
one-eighth—or 12.5 percent—of where she needs to be for the final. Actually, she wanted to keep studying this afternoon, that’s what she told me while we were having lunch, but I told her, Sorry, not today. I had to cut things short today. I had plans with another friend.
“Thank you for your assistance, Tutor Jake,” Dorothy said to me as we hugged good-bye at my front door. “I am glad you are now what my father always thought you were, which is a tutor, Jake.”
I said, “No problem, happy to help, and don’t worry, we can go back to our usual schedule of board games and beach walks next time.”
“What say you to this?” she said. “Perhaps next hang, I can be your tutor? Your Jewish tutor! Your rabbit, I believe they are called.”
“Rabbi,” I said.
“Yes, that. You need a mentor, young Padawan! Your bar mitzvah day is just five months and four days away, you know! Hehe!” She then gave me what she described as a dolphin smile.
Oh, D. Wu. I patted her on the head. She left for the bus station.
Then I went to go see my other best friend.
Danny’s been busy with stuff all winter break, but in our chat he promised we could do something New Year’s Day, and I intended to collect on that promise. I walked down to Danny’s family’s house and knocked on his window.
After a few moments, I heard his voice. “What?” he said. The blinds were drawn. Danny likes to sleep in.
“It’s me!”
“Oh yeah. Gimme a minute, dude.”
Danny was out a minute later. “What do you want to do?” he said.
I didn’t care. Anything could be fun.
“Swimming?” I suggested.
“What? It’s so cold.”
“Well, we could heat up the pool, hot tub–style like last summer?”
“Gay, dude.”
“Right. Well I could always…you know…help you study for your math final?”
“Shut up. That’s like, a month away.”
“Okay,” I said. “Okay…um…”
I had one more idea, one last idea before we had to resort to just playing Xbox. It was sort of a strange idea, and I was worried Danny would think it was lame, but I’d had it in mind as a fun thing for us to do for a while. Probably since the start of the school year.
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