by K E Osborn
Danger smiles and moves forward picking me up and twirling me around. I wince and moan slightly from his tight grip and he laughs at his playful mood putting me back down to the ground.
“Hey sugar, I’ve missed you,” he says leaning in and kissing my lips briefly taking me by surprise. I swallow hard not knowing what to do. I’m so confused.
“Danger, what are you doing here?” I ask and he chuckles.
“Oh, well, it’s great to see you too,” he teases and pulls me to him embracing me tightly. He looks over my shoulder and then stiffens.
“Oh, hey Chad,” he says letting me go.
I turn around to see Chad looking at me with his nostrils flaring. “Hey,” he says stiffly and looks directly at me like he wants me to tell Danger to piss off, but I’m stunned to the spot and can’t say anything.
“So I missed you while I was away and wanted to come see you. Spend some time with you,” Danger says and looks from me and back to Chad.
I swallow hard and don’t know what to say, so I simply nod.
“I’ll see you later, Ella,” Chad says walking up to us looking angry as hell. His face is bright red and his fists are clenched, and as he walks past me he doesn’t make eye contact at all. I bite my bottom lip as he walks out the hotel door and down the hall.
“So, um…Chad was in your room, hey?” Danger asks and I exhale and glare at him. “Okay, sorry. I know nothing happened, it’s all good. Anyway, I’m in such a good mood, I’m not going to let him get to me. Seeing Mouse so happy made me realise how much I need to enjoy my time with you, and I’m not going to waste any more of it,” he says leaning in and kissing me forcefully. I’m surprised by his excitement and I’m a little taken aback. His mouth moves on mine and I get lost in the moment and kiss him back. The numbness I’ve been feeling for the past three days is ebbing, and a flutter in my stomach starts and filters through me. I run my hands through his hair as my heart begins to pound faster, and even though Danger has the power to kill me every time, he also has the power to awaken me and that’s what is happening right now. My body begins to tingle and as I kiss him back I feel like he’s going to break me all over again, and right now I don’t mind as long as he keeps kissing me like this.
After the concert, Danger wanted to come back to my room. He knows I have a room on my own now seeing as Annie shares with Aston. Danger was a little unsure as to why we couldn’t have sex, but I assured him it was because I had my period and he seemed okay with that answer.
So now we’re in bed and I’m cuddled into his side. Danger seems like a changed man. He’s so affectionate and loving and I’m so confused. The last few nights I’ve spent in bed with Chad cuddling into him like I’m cuddling into Danger right now. I have no idea how to feel and the guilt of not telling him about the baby is eating me up.
Danger’s been so happy and cheerful, he hasn’t picked up on my slightly quieter than normal demeanor. He’s gently stroking my arm as he chats away while we lay in bed. I’m listening, but my mind is elsewhere as he talks.
“Ella?” he says gaining my attention.
“Sorry, what?” I say looking up at him.
“I told you I hoped that being on tour with Staked would pick up the popularity for Recoil, but it seems our record sales are dipping and no one is buying our merchandise,” he says and I furrow my brows.
“What, really?” I ask and he huffs.
“Haven’t you been listening at all?”
I exhale and move up to look at him properly. “Sorry, I was miles away,” I reply honestly. “I’m sure things will pick up soon.”
“Well, I know this isn’t important to you. Let’s face it your band’s doing fine,” he says and I crease my brows and frown because now he actually just sounds jealous that Staked is doing better than Recoil.
“Danger, don’t take it out on me. You’ve been so happy since you got back from your sister’s wedding. What’s changed?” I ask and he exhales and moves his hand to caress my cheek.
“Sorry, this music stuff makes me angry. I just want Recoil to make it big,” he says and I swallow hard and nod.
“And you will Danger, just be patient. But don’t take your frustrations out on me,” I say and he nods and leans in kissing me softly.
“I’m sorry,” he says then kisses me again.
Chad avoided me for a while after Danger came back on the scene, but eventually as always, our friendship rules out in the end. For the rest of the tour, Danger is loving and supportive, but still a little defensive about Recoil’s popularity declining. I feel much better about everything, my head is clearer and even though Chad and I have a connection Danger always comes first, even though he pushes my buttons.
It’s the last night of the tour and Staked just finished our final encore and I’m rushing off the stage with Chad and we’re so excited. We step to the side of the stage and we’re laughing and he holds me tight.
“We did it, hot sauce. We’ve finished our first headline act tour,” he says and I smile and nod looking over his shoulder to see Danger waiting in the wings. I let go of Chad smiling and move past him to Danger. I jump on the spot in my excitement.
“Don’t you think we totally rocked?” I ask and Danger looks over at Chad and back to me and shrugs.
“I suppose,” he answers and I furrow my brows.
“What’s wrong with you?” I ask defensively, his bad mood bringing down my high.
“Well, it’s our last night together and you come off the stage all over him, and then rub it in my face about how your band totally rocks and mine sucks. Not cool sugar, not cool,” he says and I’m taken aback by his attitude.
“What the hell are you talking about? I wasn’t all over Chad and I was excited about the concert. Not once did I mention your band sucks, Danger. Where are you pulling this shit from?” I ask stepping closer to him and touching his arm. He flinches away from me and I flare my nostrils in annoyance.
“Whatever, I’m done Ella. This was only ever a fling anyway,” he says and turns to walk away.
“A fling? A fucking fling? Danger are you fucking kidding me?” I ask loudly and Chad looks over at us.
“Yeah, we knew this was over at the end of the tour. The tour just ended, so I guess we did too. It was nice knowing you,” he says and I see a shift in his eyes that makes me think he doesn’t believe what he’s saying either.
“Bullshit! The last few months have been great, and you’re willing to throw it all away because you’re jealous?”
He huffs and walks up to me looking me squarely in the eyes. “Jealous? Of what?”
“My band being more successful than yours?” I say and he groans and turns away from me.
“Don’t be a bitch Ella, it doesn’t suit you,” he says.
“Then don’t be a fucking arsehole,” I say and he turns back to me and shakes his head.
“I am an arsehole, Ella. Don’t you get that?”
“Yeah, I do, but for some stupid reason I fucking love you anyway,” I say and he runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head.
“Love? You don’t love me, Ella. You love the idea of me. Have you ever wondered why I haven’t said it back?” he asks and pain rips through my chest.
“Because you’re scared, Danger. I know you feel it, but you have no idea how to do relationships and ours is messy and hard and the distance is an issue, but we can figure out a way—”
“No, we can’t, Ella. I’ll just cheat on you while you save yourself for me,” he says.
Anger surges through me and I push his chest hard making him step backward. “Well, thank God I lost the baby then,” I yell and his eyes open wide and his mouth drops open as tears start to fall down my cheeks.
“What?” he asks and I shake my head and turn away from him.
“Nothing, it doesn’t even matter,” I say. Everyone is gone except for Chad, who’s standing back watching. He looks at me frowning, and I shake my head so he doesn’t come over.
“Ella, what baby?” Danger asks, his voice is shaky as he pulls my arm and turns me to face him. He grabs my head in his hands and wipes the tears from my cheeks and forces me to look at him.
“Sugar, talk to me,” he whispers and I close my eyes. I can’t look at him.
“I was pregnant. And while you were at your sister’s wedding…I lost the baby,” I say opening my eyes. He drops his hands from my face and turns around running his hands through his hair, his breathing is harsh and rapid.
“Jesus Ella, that was months ago! Don’t you think you should have told me?” he asks turning back to face me. “Did you go through that alone?” I look at him and shake my head. “So who knew before me that I was going to be a father?” he asks sounding frustrated.
I swallow hard and look down at the ground because I know how he’ll react when he finds out.
“Me! I was there for her,” Chad yells out walking up behind me.
I look up and Danger glares at me flaring his nostrils and shaking his head.
“You told, Chad? Are you sure it wasn’t his fucking baby?” he yells getting right in my face and Chad puts his hand on Danger’s chest and pushes him away from me.
“Stop it, dude. I haven’t slept with Ella. God knows why but she always chooses you for some fucked up reason,” Chad says.
I swallow hard as Danger looks at us both and shakes his head.
“So when you say you were there for her, what exactly does that mean?” Danger asks.
“I took care of her when you weren’t there. She was in pain. She was emotional. She went to the hospital and I was there for all of it like you should’ve been. It was your baby, and if you were any sort of a man you would’ve been there for Ella. But you never are, are you?” Chad says getting in Danger’s face.
“Chad, stop it,” I say while Danger glares at Chad.
“How the fuck was I supposed to take care of Ella, when for starters I had no idea she was pregnant and I was away for my sister’s wedding, huh?” Danger states pushing Chad.
“Yeah, screwing all the bridesmaids I bet,” Chad says and Danger clenches his fist and punches Chad in the jaw.
I scream and hold Chad as he cups his jaw. He glares at Danger, who’s seething.
“You don’t even love Ella, so why get so upset about it. You know as well as I do that what I said was true. Just know that when Ella comes to her senses, I’ll be here waiting,” Chad says and Danger shakes his head.
“Yeah, I bet you will! But you’ll always come second. How’s that feel exactly?” Danger asks and Chad rushes forward to grab Danger, but I step in the way.
“Stop it, both of you. Right now I don’t want either of you,” I say and Danger huffs and Chad shakes his head rubbing his jaw.
“I can’t believe you were pregnant and didn’t tell me, Ella. That would’ve changed things, I would’ve made this work. But going to him before me and not telling me when I got back. Fuck! Who knows if you would’ve told me at all? I can’t believe this. I don’t know what you’re playing at Ella. I can’t do this. I can’t. We’re done. Have her,” Danger says and then looks me in the eyes. I notice his blue eyes misting up as I grab his arm.
“Danger, please. Let’s talk about this,” I beg and he shakes his head.
“I’m done, sugar,” he says and rests his hand on top of mine on his arm and then gently peels my hand away and then let’s go walking away from me.
I start to cry, and I mean really cry. Chad pulls me to him and holds me tightly comforting me as I break up with Danger for the last time. I don’t watch as he walks off. It’s too painful.
“I’m sorry Ella, I’m sorry he broke up with you. I’m sorry I’m not enough for you. I’m sorry you’re hurting. What can I do?” Chad asks and I pull back and look into his beautiful green eyes and shake my head.
“There’s nothing anyone can do right now. I need to be alone,” I say and he nods and lets me go as I walk off down the hall and outside to a waiting chauffeured car. I don’t care about the massive after party. I’m going back to the hotel to wallow.
I cry all the way back to the hotel and climb into bed. I feel sorry for the way Danger found out about the baby, and I know he’d be hurting right now. So I pull out my phone to send him a text message.
Me: I’m sorry for not telling you. I wish things were different and I’m going to miss you xo
I hit send not expecting a reply. He’s probably deleted my number already and is out at the after party lost in some drunk blonde. My phone beeps and I look down to see he has answered.
Danger: I’m going to miss you too. You can still call me if you need to. I still want to be friends. I need you in my life, sugar. I’m sorry I went off like that. Can I see you in the morning before we all leave, if possible?
I take a deep breath feeling relieved that he’s calmed down enough and that he still wants to be friends.
Me: I’d like that. Yes, please come by in the morning. I would love to see you before we go.
I hit send and wait for a while, but I don’t get a reply. I swallow hard and feel sorry for Chad. Tonight was such an epic high, and then it was followed by that monstrosity of a low. This tour has been such a downer for me. Danger and I have been on the rocks for the entire time, and Chad has been there for all of it, and in the end he gets a bruised jaw for being there for me. That hardly seems fair.
The next morning there’s a knock on my door and it’s Danger holding a single rose. I smile as he hands it to me.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“Me too. Thank you. You didn’t need to get me this,” I say and lift it to my nose smelling the sweet fragrance.
“Yeah, I did. I’ve treated you badly. I’m sorry about the fight and about the baby. I feel terrible I wasn’t here for you when it all happened. I just wish you’d told me,” he says and I nod.
“I know. I should’ve told you, I just didn’t see what good it would do,” I say honestly.
“I might have tried harder. I could’ve been better for you, but I think us breaking up is the right thing,” he says and I nod.
“Yeah, I agree. It hurts and I’m going to miss you like crazy, but it’s too hard. You don’t trust me, and you certainly can’t be faithful. It can’t work,” I say and he swallows hard and takes my hands in his.
“I’m sorry, I tried, Ella. I really tried. The first time I came to see you I honestly hadn’t cheated on you. I held out, but after I saw you the time grew long and I was horny and depressed. I got really drunk and I was out at a party, I hadn’t spoken to you for a couple of days and the last time I did you were hanging out with Chad. I was jealous and I felt like I was losing you to him. I was wasted and a blonde girl was hitting on me hard. I tried to resist—”
“Danger, you don’t have to tell me,” I interrupt.
“No, I do, I have to get it off my chest. I tried to get her away from me, but she kept kissing me and I kept thinking of you with Chad and gave in. I fucked her in the bathroom and then felt so terrible about it, sugar. You have to believe me. That was the first time and I didn’t call you for a week. I felt so guilty, I knew I’d fucked up. I knew if I told you, you’d break it off, but I still wanted you. I wanted you to be mine, but I felt like you were his and that was getting to me. So I got drunk and it happened again. I figured you’d never know and I could keep doing it because you were having sex with Chad, and so what I was doing was justified in my mind. I was a mess. It’s no excuse, I’m an arsehole and a jerk. But more importantly, you deserve way better than me. You deserve a man who can trust you because you were so good to me. I didn’t deserve you, I don’t deserve you. I was the luckiest man on earth, and I couldn’t see it…I see it now, Ella,” he says pulling me to him and embracing me tightly as my eyes well with tears.
“We tried Danger, we had our good moments,” I say and he pulls back looking in my eyes as the tears flow over down my cheeks. He wipes the tears away with his thumbs.
“We had great moments, sugar,�
� he says and leans in kissing me firmly. I kiss him back moving my arms up around his neck and through his hair. I hold him tightly because I know this is our final goodbye. His tongue dances with mine and that all too familiar spark shoots between us. It’s still there and my heart races and my stomach flutters with butterflies. He pulls back looking me in the eyes.
“I wish you well. Keep in touch, okay? Promise me?”
I nod and sniffle as I try to contain my crying. “I will, don’t forget me,” I say and he smiles brightly.
“I could never forget you, sugar,” he says and leans in kissing me quickly again, then pulls back letting me go and turns to walk away from me. My chest tightens and I sob as my hand race to my mouth trying to suppress the escaping noises.
He walks away and for the final time Danger walks out of my life.
We fly back to England and I go straight to bed and stay there. Chad tried to talk to me on the jet on the way home, but I didn’t want to speak, so he just sat with me. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just kept to myself, and when we got home I went straight to my room and that’s where I plan to stay for as long as possible.
When I finally wake up, my tummy is growling, so I decide I better eat something. I walk downstairs and everyone is in the kitchen including Aston and I’m a little shocked.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
Mum, Dad, Annie and Aston are sitting at the table all in a deep discussion. They all look up at me and Annie looks like she’s been crying.
“Annie’s birth mother showed up at the front door,” Mum says and I gasp.
“W…what?” I stutter.
“My birth mum, Ella, she came looking for me. She wants to get to know me,” Annie says and I look at Mum, who seems really nervous and kind of agitated. “I need to go,” Annie says and stands up. Aston stands with her and they walk out of the room and up the stairs, I’m assuming, to her room. I walk in and sit at the kitchen table with Mum and Dad and the room is dead silent. I look at Mum who appears like the dam is about to burst and Dad rubs her back.