by Jana Denardo
“I understand,” Arrigo said, and Luc hoped he did. He seriously didn’t want to be with anyone else, but he did need to learn his boundaries. “Theoretically yes, but by the time you get enough control of your mind to do that, you’ll be able to control the bloodlust.”
Luc rubbed his chin. “How about with you? Can I do things with a vampire like you or Siobhan?” He wasn’t exactly sure why he included Siobhan. In spite of her casual flirting, Luc knew there’d be no threesome. “Can I command another vampire?”
Arrigo scowled. “Not yet. We can command fledglings if they lose control, and we can help you learn restraint.”
“So how do we start? I mean, you’ve given me ideas for control when I’m feeding, but they aren’t helping with uh, the sexy stuff.” Luc figured they could hang his face out with the rest of Vegas’s neon, it was so glowing hot.
Arrigo didn’t comment on it, but Luc knew he couldn’t miss the red. “What calms you down when you get nervous?”
With a shrug, Luc said, “I dunno.”
“You grew up in a family where you could get hit at any moment. Surely you have ways of calming your nerves after living with them.”
Luc made a face. “Yeah but I don’t want to think about my brother dying a painful death while I’m kissing you.”
Arrigo echoed Luc’s frown. “Surely there are better images than that.”
“Mostly I think about Mom, especially her singing, but I don’t want to think about Mom either, not like that.” Luc blushed even harder.
“Okay, save Mom for nonsexual times where you need to gain your control.” Arrigo tugged Luc closer, resting his head against Luc’s. “Is there a place you go that seems peaceful to you?”
Luc thought for a moment. “Out on the swamp. It’s peaceful there.”
“Okay, that would work for the sexual encounters. When you feel your control slipping, you can picture yourself where you feel safe and at peace. See if it helps you regain control.”
“And if it doesn’t?” A nervous flutter worked its way through Luc.
“Keep trying. I can always control you for now until we find something that works, but let’s start there.” Arrigo kissed him. “And we can start with this.” His lips pressed against Luc’s again, his tongue slipping inside his mouth.
Arrigo rubbed Luc’s crotch as his tongue explored. The need to bite came up faster than Luc’s cock. He shut his eyes. He tried to picture the bayou, tried to see the lush greenness, feel the heat and scent the ripeness of it. All he saw was the black behind his eyelids and felt the heat of his cock as it rose to meet Arrigo’s hand. His teeth descended.
“I feel your fangs, Luc,” Arrigo whispered, flicking his tongue against them. Luc tasted the richness of the drop of blood welling up from Arrigo’s tongue.
“I’m trying to picture the swamp. I suck at this.”
“You’re new to it. Try again.” Arrigo sucked at the skin of Luc’s neck.
Luc shut his eyes tighter, but all he saw were the afterimages of the lamp. However, the more he thought about his hometown and all the natural beauty and busyness of the bayou, he felt himself relaxing. He might not be able to see it, but he could feel the bayou inside his heart. Some of the desire to bite and drink faded, but not all. Realizing Arrigo had stopped touching him, Luc opened his eyes to his lover studying him.
“You’re doing good, Luc.” He smiled, his own fangs out. Arrigo tugged Luc’s shirt off and tossed it over the back of the ridiculous white couch. He leaned down and flicked his tongue over one of Luc’s aroused nipples. Arrigo nipped it, and the scent of blood spiked Luc’s desire to bite back. Luc figured it was a test. He thought harder on the bayou. He could practically hear the buzz of mosquitoes, not sexy and enough to make the near overwhelming bloodlust go away.
Arrigo unzipped Luc and yanked his jeans down. He picked Luc up and set him down on the soft rug. He shoved the coffee table back to give them room. Luc wiggled out of his boxers, moaning when Arrigo wasted no time. His hot mouth sealed over his cock, his tongue swirling around its tip. The bayou wasn’t stronger than the bloodlust now. Luc’s fangs bit into his lip and blood dripped. Arrigo stretched back up and licked the blood away. With the sensations on his cock fading, he managed to get a bit of control back.
“You want to bite me, don’t you?” Luc panted. “Can you show me how to do it safe?”
“It isn’t going to be safe for you yet,” Arrigo replied, “But I’ll show you.”
He licked down the length of Luc’s cock, taking time to suck one of his balls into his mouth as his fingers stroked him. Arrigo kissed the skin of his inner thigh. Luc saw the flash of fang before he felt them strike home in his thigh. He hissed, but the pain quickly faded. The warmth of his blood flowing into Arrigo’s hungry mouth coupled with the magic Arrigo worked on his cock took Luc beyond the need to bite, far beyond any calming presence of the bayou. He found himself so high, he thought he might die when he came down from the bliss.
Rubbing his thumb under the tender head of Luc’s shaft, Arrigo sucked harder against the opened vein in his thigh. Luc came, drawing Arrigo’s name out like a prayer. Arrigo licked pearls of cum from his fingers before giving Luc’s thigh a final kiss. Arrigo stood and stripped off his own shirt, then took off his pants. Arrigo’s fat cock waiting for him caused Luc to lick his blood teeth. He wanted to sink his fangs into Arrigo as he had done to Luc.
Arrigo ran his fingers through Luc’s curls. “You don’t get to bite yet. You’re nowhere near as controlled.” Luc shot him a disappointed look, and Arrigo arched his eyebrows. “Can you put your fangs away?”
Luc tried but couldn’t. “No.”
“Then you won’t be using your mouth for much yet.” Arrigo sat back against the couch with him.
Luc wondered what would come next. He wasn’t sure he was ready for real sex, though didn’t oral sex count? Back in school everyone said no, but most of them were dumbasses anyhow. Arrigo licked Luc’s palm and left it wet, but all Luc could think about was his blood staining Arrigo’s lips.
He didn’t have to be told what Arrigo wanted. He ran his slicked-up hand over Arrigo’s shaft. He still wasn’t as good at this as his lover, but the way Arrigo’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment encouraged Luc. As he stroked Arrigo, he asked, “Can I kiss you, though?”
“Yes.”
Luc thrust his tongue inside Arrigo’s mouth almost immediately, chasing down any hint of blood left. Their tongues warred. He knew his fangs caught Arrigo’s tongue more than once, but he couldn’t help it. He still wanted more, to bite, but he could resist it. He was going to do this right. Arrigo was the only person who’d ever believed Luc could do things right, and he wasn’t going to disappoint him.
Arrigo broke the kiss with a whispered demand, “Faster.”
Luc obeyed as Arrigo’s head dropped back against the couch pillows. Eyes shut, delighted pants escaping from his fanged mouth, Arrigo was the most beautiful thing Luc had ever seen. The low groan accompanying Arrigo’s climax made Luc grin in triumph. He’d pleased Arrigo, and he resisted the bloodlust. He grabbed Arrigo’s ponytail and used it to tilt Arrigo’s head back so he could kiss him long and hard. Arrigo’s strong arms wrapped him tight. Maybe this could be his peaceful image in the future.
The peace shattered at the sound of the key in the front door.
“Siobhan, don’t come in here!” Arrigo bellowed, and Luc jumped, nearly smacking into the coffee table.
“For the love of the goddess, put your pants back on, both of you!” Siobhan called through the door.
“I have a better counteroffer,” Arrigo replied while Luc contemplated burrowing under the rug and dying of embarrassment.
“We were going to go out and practice hunting in an hour, or did you forget once all the blood left your brain?”
“Um. Oops.” Arrigo tucked himself back into his pants. “Meet us in the lobby in twenty minutes.”
“You suck, Arrigo,” Siobhan replied merrily.
“Yes, I do. Just ask Luc,” Arrigo replied, patting Luc’s arm.
“She’s right, you’re an ass.” Luc laughed, and then made his still-trembling legs obey him as he forced himself to his feet. “We’ll be there.”
Arrigo made a face at the door, looking like a frat boy. It reminded Luc that Arrigo had been frozen in a youthful body for centuries. He still couldn’t wrap his head around it.
“I know you like having her as a mentor, but now that she has a new place here, she’s giving my key back,” Arrigo said.
“Part of me says I agree with you,” Luc replied. “Part of me says, this is what you get when you roll around on the living-room floor in front of God and country.” He gestured to the windows.
“Penthouse, no one is looking in.” Arrigo levered himself off the floor.
“Just your partner outside the door, thinking up perverted things we could have been doing.”
“We’ll work up to those.” Arrigo grinned.
“One day, I’ll figure out if you’re joking or not, but now, I have to grab a quick shower and get down to the lobby before Siobhan loses all patience with me,” Luc said. “And if I don’t crash and burn practicing tonight, we can think about those perverted things of yours.”
Arrigo’s grin grew. “I hope that’s a promise.”
LUC HAD to admit tonight felt a lot less like hunting and a lot more like them just strolling about, taking in the night air and seeing the sights. He didn’t mind. He enjoyed the walk and there were plenty of tourists around should they actually get serious about finding dinner.
Hearing the sounds of a helicopter, Luc glanced up to see one of the night tour copters going overhead. He pointed. “Think we can do that?”
“Sure,” Arrigo said, then pulled out his phone as the incoming text chime rang. “Fuck!”
Luc swallowed hard, taking a good look at the rage on Arrigo’s face. God, was Eleni back? Sweet Jesus, he wasn’t ready. “Quoi ca dit?”
“What’s wrong?” Siobhan asked.
Arrigo thrust out his phone so they both could see the texted picture of Eleni holding up a young man who bore a passing resemblance to Luc. They stood under the Reno arch sign. The lights around “the biggest little city in the world” glared off her pale skin.
Luc’s mouth tasted of blood, bile, and beer. He thought he might get sick. “Is that guy dead?”
“Yes. She sent another text. ‘Tell the blond sweetie I miss him.’ While I’m sure the world is full of blond sweeties, I’m equally sure it’s you Eleni is talking about,” Arrigo said, resting a hand on Luc’s shoulder. “It’s another new number, but I’m betting it’s just another burner phone. We’ll check anyhow and I’m sure Shani will as well. I’ll have to show her this.”
Luc felt sicker, and the feeling remained as he walked home, listening to his mentors discuss the murder and how they needed to tell the Chiaroscuro Eleni was in Reno. He couldn’t even guess what the hell would happen next.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“ARE YOU okay, Arrigo?” Siobhan asked, following them into Arrigo’s apartment. Gaius meowed imperiously, so she went to feed him.
“Pissed more than anything. This is what complacency gets you.” He parked himself on the couch and pulled his hair free of its tail. When had he started playing with his hair when he got nervous or pissed? “Taabu is supposed to be coming home soon. Is she safe or did Eleni tell me where she was because she planned to leave there immediately afterward? I need to tell Shani about this.”
“I’m sure she would appreciate it. You know the local task force has been spinning their wheels here, turning up nothing. We were right about her leaving the city.” Siobhan put her hand on Luc’s shoulder. You okay?”
“I want her back here,” Luc said, prowling along the living room’s bank of windows. “I hate to say it, but I want Michael to get her. Or you two.” He scowled. “Or me. Because I’m pretty sure I could hunt her down like a gator.” Luc caught Arrigo’s frown and steeled his jaw. “Don’t judge me for it. Isn’t that sort of what the Chiaroscuro does?”
“I’m not judging, and yes, in a manner of speaking, it is,” Arrigo admitted. He wasn’t about to get into how they’d not let a fledgling go on a vengeance mission, but if Luc accompanied him and Siobhan when they found Eleni, it would be fine.
Luc nodded, his hands clenching and unclenching. “Good, then that’s settled. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I’m not part of your organization. Ain’t close enough to dawn to go to bed, and I’m feeling pissy. I need to get out of here again. I know we were just out but… I need to move or something.”
“Arrigo, I can deal with telling the Chiaroscuro Eleni’s killing in Reno. Why don’t you go with Luc,” Siobhan said.
“Thanks. Come on, Luc.” Arrigo put a hand in the small of Luc’s back and guided him toward the door.
Once they were in the elevator going down, Luc let his head drop back against the wall. “I’m sorry to be a pain in the ass.”
“You’re not. We had to cut your time out short. You have a limited time when you can be up and about. Why should you be forced to spend it in the condo?” Arrigo would have killed to have as much to do at night when he was a fledgling as Luc had at his disposal. It beat the hell out nights with no light other than the stars and moons without a damned thing to do. Hell, there had barely been people about at night back then. Luc had no idea how lucky he had it in that respect, even if this wasn’t something he wanted.
“I’m sorry that Reno guy is dead.” Luc squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I’m pissed Eleni got to hurt someone else.”
“I know what you mean. I feel the same way. I’m sorry Eleni hasn’t been dealt with.” Arrigo swallowed hard. “You have no idea how sorry I am.”
Luc stepped out of the elevator, nodding, then turned and looked at Arrigo. “We going anywhere in particular or just wandering?”
“Wandering. I don’t feel like taking out the car. We can people watch.” Arrigo linked arms and led him outside.
“Can we talk about something happier than Eleni?” Luc leaned into Arrigo’s touch, making his pulse jump a little since Luc remained shy about public displays.
At this early hour, there weren’t as many people on the streets, but the neon still glittered, cutting the dark. Luc squinted his sensitive eyes against it.
“All right.” Arrigo thought for a moment, struggling to change gears. “You’re doing well with your lessons both with being a vampire and studying for your GED.”
Luc shrugged. “Merci.” His smile was tight, almost pained. “You’re helping.”
Arrigo caressed Luc’s side. “Yes I am, but you were studying for your GED long before I came along. You didn’t have a safe environment to do it in.”
“You ain’t shitting.”
Arrigo pulled Luc to a stop and sat on a park bench. Luc sat next to him. “You will get used to everything, Luc. It takes time.”
“Yeah, but… how do I get used to some of it, Arrigo?”
Luc’s voice was barely a whisper, capturing Arrigo’s attention. Over the last few weeks, he knew well when Luc edged close to breaking.
“What parts of it are worrying you? The talking to people? The studying?”
“Preying on people.” Luc ran his shaking hand through his hair. “I’ve hunted and fished all my life, but that was different. I’m hunting people.”
“Luc, we’ve been over this.” Arrigo tucked Luc closer to him and held him tight. “You’re not doing them any real harm. There is never a need to do that.”
Luc wiggled away a little until a gap formed between them. “No, but we freeze up their minds, take away memories of us so they don’t know we fed. Is that a moral thing to do?”
“Is it a moral thing for us to starve ourselves to death?” Arrigo replied. He had never worried about this sort of thing, but he’d grown up in war. He did worse things to people on a daily basis back then.
“I wish I knew. Do we ev
en need to live? Will we all turn out like Eleni in the end?” Luc sighed, looking at Arrigo. “I guess not. I mean you’re so old, and you’re still good. But still, you do lure people into situations where you can put your whammy on them and drink.”
Arrigo grimaced, unable to deny that. “Yes, I do. I’ve stopped worrying about the morality of it, Luc. I want to live. I will do what I need to. I could drink nothing but butcher-provided blood, but if I’m not hurting anyone badly, I don’t see the problem.”
Luc leaned back against the bench, looking up at the light-pollution-clotted sky. “I’m Catholic, Arrigo. I know you know that, but my point is, I truly believe in Jesus, the Holy Mother, God, all of it.”
“I know. I saw the conflict in you that your faith caused as well.”
Luc licked his lips, dropping his gaze. “It did, but I really wanted to believe Jesus doesn’t care about me liking men, that God wouldn’t have made me like this as a test, as something to be hated. My priest growing up sure believed that, though. I even asked the traiteur I saw whenever I got really hurt about if this was the only way I could be. You see all those news articles about conversion camps and how horrible they are. If they worked or not depended on who wrote the article. She said how I ain’t something that needed healing.”
“No, it doesn’t. Being homosexual isn’t an illness. What is a traiteur?”
“A faith healer, they talk directly to God and heal you with prayer.” Luc held up a hand. “I’m guessing that ain’t your thing, and I don’t believe faith alone will heal everything. I believe in doctors too, but I figure what could faith hurt?”
“I’m not judging you for that.” Arrigo couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice.
Luc bobbed his head. “’Kay. I don’t know how I fit into God’s plan now, Arrigo. I feel like I’m outside of it all.”
“I understand that too. I’ve been there. All I can tell you is I’ve never seen faith hurt a vampire.” Arrigo tapped Luc’s chest, unerringly thumping his finger against the cross hidden under Luc’s shirt. “As you’ve already seen. So maybe that means we are still in God’s plan somewhere.”