In the stands, across from the gate, a lively group representing a local contrada broke out in song. They finished and people clapped. An announcer said the trial was about to start. Seconds later, a loud boom exploded in the square.
They burst from the gate. Before Julian could blink, two nervous horses stuck in the pack’s middle slammed into each other. Loud cries from the animals carried above the crowd noise, sending a chill up Julian’s spine. A dark brown horse nearby reared on its hind legs, tossing the rider into the air and sending him crashing to the ground. Behind them, a white horse reared and as his front legs returned to the pavement, Julian cringed. The fallen rider had landed in the same area. The horse dropped, crumbling to the ground.
The crowd gasped. A woman screamed.
Julian searched the crowd for Mamie, finding her staring at the scene on the ground, her mouth opened wide and terror in her eyes. He headed in her direction.
* * * *
Blood. Rich, red blood spilled from the jockey’s temple and dripped down his face.
Mamie numbed. Her head got light, her knees soft. The car accident. Images she couldn’t erase, always rising at the sight of blood. The rider and horse blurred as her temples began to throb. She couldn’t move, her body shocked by the impact of being hit by another car. The bang of impact echoed in her ears. Ted. Zoe. Pain shot through every muscle, but she forced her head to turn as her gaze landed on Ted in the driver’s seat, his eyes closed and shards of glass all over his bloody body. Numb, her head pounding, she tried to turn to her daughter but her body didn’t work right. “It’s okay, baby.” Silence. Zoe. My Zoe. Pushing past her pain, Mamie turned around. Zoe’s limp body, pinned in the car seat. Mamie slowly stretched her arms, ignoring the ache. The short distance seemed like a mile, but with effort she reached the strap and fumbled until she undid the belt. Her hands circled Zoe’s torso and wet warmth coated her skin. Mamie withdrew them, her head spinning as she stared down at her blood dripping off her fingers...
The thundering sound of a loud neigh jarred her back to the commotion, to the jockey and the blood trickling down his neck and onto his shirt. Her heart throbbed. Head spun. Faster and faster. She turned to escape, but the crowd formed a human blockade. Using all her strength, she pushed people away. Panic stole each breath. A nightmare. A bad dream. It would end soon and her family would be alive. Safe.
“Let me through,” she screamed.
The crowd pushed against her like a strong current. She fought, a salmon going upstream, her instinct to run the only way to free herself from the images still exploding in her mind.
Somehow she reached the crowd’s edge and gasped for air as she ran into an open space. When she spotted a quiet alley not far away, she ran toward it. A place to hide. Run. Run!
Halfway down the alley, she slowed and caught her breath. What was happening to her? Running. Hiding. Five years later, the memories still haunted her. Five years later, she still tried to hide from them.
She sat on stone steps leading up to a weathered wooden door. Several deep breaths slowly stopped her tears.
The uproar in the square carried into the alley, the crowds still buzzing over what she’d witnessed. Another front row seat to a horrible accident. Even now, on the sidelines, the ache inside her body throbbed. The same ache consuming her while she’d watched from the ambulance as the paramedics removed her family from the car, while onlookers who’d stopped witnessed the moment changing her world.
She rubbed her sore temples, trying to forget about the terror seizing her a moment ago. Instead, her stomach turned and bile choked her throat. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around her body, closing her eyes and wishing she were back in her room.
Footsteps echoed in the alley. Bernie and Sandra. They hadn’t wanted her to move up front. She glanced up. Julian headed her way.
“My God, Mamie. Were you hurt?” He squatted down in front of her, watching her through worried eyes.
“No. No.” She wished he’d leave, hating that he’d found her like this. “I’m not hurt.”
He studied her, his own face contorted with the agony she felt inside. “Something is wrong. Was it because of what I did this—”
“No!” she said sharply and buried her face in her palms. “It has nothing to do with you.” But, in a way, it did. His visit this morning shattered a little piece of her that had finally started to feel good, leaving her to face that accident with her heart’s wound exposed.
Her throat grew thick as anger toward him festered. For ending their fling so quickly. For everything else she’d lost. For indulging in joy around Julian, the mere act of doing so reminding her of happiness and love she used to shower on Zoe and Ted. A fact she couldn’t hold against Julian for reviving, yet she could steer clear of him to save herself further grief again.
She wanted to find a place to hide, but Julian’s breathing clued her to his closeness.
“Just leave me alone.” She brushed wetness from her cheek. “Leave me...please...” The energy behind her anger dissolved, leaving only her sadness.
He sat next to her.
“Please. Go away.”
Instead he put an arm around her, held her head to his chest, and stroked her hair.
She wanted to claw her way out of his hold, scream that she could take care of herself. Only the gentle way his touch soothed her made her stay put. Support, not being alone, was something she missed.
His warm breath fell near her ear. “Mamie, please talk to me.”
A quiet desperation resonated in his voice, and her anger softened. “The rider, he was bleeding. It brought back some memories.”
He didn’t say anything at first, then he asked, “From the accident?”
“Yes.”
She hadn’t told Julian about Zoe. Nor had she told him any details about that day. The only person she ever discussed the accident details with was the officer who interviewed her for the accident report. Every word split the wound in her chest open wider, so painful she never wanted to discuss it again.
Julian’s presence reassured her, though. Even with this morning’s reservations about a romance, that he’d helped her turn a corner in healing couldn’t be denied.
She lifted her head. “We were on our way to go shopping...”
Though difficult to speak at first, slowly she got out most of the story. When she reached the part about finding Zoe, the words lodged in her throat and came out as tears.
Mamie reached for her purse, still hanging from her shoulder. After taking out her wallet, she flipped it open to a photograph of her with Ted and Zoe during a trip to the Rhode Island beaches. The day was clear as yesterday, and yet a moment she could never get back.
Julian blurred behind her watery eyes as she passed him her wallet. Her voice cracked as she said, “I lost Zoe, too.”
Julian took the wallet and studied the photo, his eyes glistening.
“Mothers should protect their offspring,” she whispered, each word twisting the dagger already plunged in her heart. “I didn’t. It’s goes against the natural order of things, me here but she isn’t.”
“My God,” he said quietly. “I’m so sorry.”
She shut her eyes and embraced images of her precious girl, who sometimes seemed so close Mamie could still feel her tiny hand in hers or smell crisp apple juice on her breath. The girl she’d never see mature into a teenager or a grown woman, never know her dreams and desires. The ache inside her chest swelled until it exploded into an avalanche of pain, but this time instead of running, she stayed at Julian’s side.
They sat together like that for some time, neither saying a word. Every so often someone would walk past them, but she didn’t look up.
Julian leaned back, but kept her in his hold. “Is this why your uncle sent you on this trip?”
She opened her eyes and looked at
him. “Sort of.”
Work. She wanted to be honest. Only her head hurt and she just couldn’t decide how angry the powers at the publishing house would be if she was. But she could share more about herself.
“Recently, at the fifth anniversary of losing them, I started to think about how I was wasting my life. So the trip came at the right time.”
He nodded. “I see. Listen, sorry about this morning. I panicked.”
“It’s fine, Julian. I’m sure you had your reasons.”
“No. It’s not fine. I made a mistake and want us to enjoy the rest of our time together. But I think you should know something about me. It’s the reason I did what I did this morning.”
A shift, and his expression carried the same distraught weight as in the photograph on the Internet, the one taken immediately following the accidental death.
Mamie took his hand. “What is it?”
“I’m not the man you think I am.”
She squeezed his hand gently. “I can’t imagine that’s true.”
He frowned and drew in a deep breath. “I used to be host of a show on a cable network. A travel show.”
“You mean the one Frank Bruno mentioned at breakfast one morning?”
He raised his brows. “Yes. You remembered. Do you know the show?”
Telling him she’d looked it up might only change the topic, and making this confession appeared to be a big thing for him. “I’ve heard of it.”
He nodded. “Our last show, we were filming in Colorado with a couple of guys who were considered amongst the best wing suit jumpers in the world…”
Julian looked at the ground while continuing his story, often filling in the blanks from what she’d already read, including his efforts to stop the jump and the pushback from his superiors to make it happen. Several times he stopped talking and swallowed. Finally, he looked up, his eyes filled with tears. “So now you know. The real me is someone who coaxed a man to his death. I’ll understand if you want to back off from being…I don’t know, whatever we were starting to become.”
“Why would I do that? It was an accident.”
His voice dropped, a breath of a whisper. “Not really. Carlos died because of me. I should’ve stood up to my boss.”
She placed a hand on his shoulder. “You can’t blame yourself.”
“Why not?” Julian closed his eyes and dropped his head. “I’d rather it had been me that died that day.”
The words underscored his pain. “I understand, probably better than most. I’ll tell you something I’ve never shared before. I’ve thought that, too. After the car accident, I’d have given anything to give my family back their lives. Even my own life.”
He lifted his head. “Really?”
She blinked away fresh tears and nodded. Listening to Julian offered Mamie a clearer view into everything she’d been doing wrong. “Sounds like we both carry around the baggage, but I just realized how we have no real control over the hand dealt to us.”
“Yet that doesn’t change what makes us hurt.”
“No, but it gives it some perspective.”
He considered her words then shook his head. “I’m a fool. So caught up in my own problems, I’m not even thinking about anybody else.” He reached out and swept her lips with his thumb. “I’m glad we talked. Will you forgive me for what I did this morning?”
“Of course.”
He leaned in and tenderly kissed her, so sweet it cushioned the blow of what had just happened.
“Well, would you look at that?”
They pulled away and turned to the sound of a familiar man’s voice.
Tina and Joel watched them from the middle of the alley, their brows raised and grins plastered on their faces.
Tina elbowed Joel. “I told you they like each other.”
“Yes,” he chuckled, “you did, dear. Mamie, are you okay?” Joel tilted his head.
“I am.”
She still worried about Julian’s job and let her hand go limp so he could let go.
But he held it tight and brought it to his lips, leaving a little peck on the top. “There was a horse accident and she was close to it. It’s more upsetting than people think.”
They nodded.
“I’ve got a favor to ask of you both,” Julian said. “Can you two keep what you just saw a secret?”
“Of course,” they said in unison.
As they walked away, Mamie looked at Julian. “Are you worried about what they saw?”
He drew her close. “I’ve spent a lot of time worrying this trip. It’s time I stopped and let it run whatever course it intends to take.”
Chapter 15
Mamie leaned against the window as the tour bus turned onto a wide dirt road somewhere in Tuscany, close to the Umbrian boarder. Fields stretched to the horizon, the tracts of land dotted with cypress trees standing tall as soldiers, guarding the endless fields of emerald and gold.
A mile down the road, they passed a field filled with trees. Mamie recognized the familiar olive branches on them. She reached up and touched one of the dangling earrings Julian had surprised her with an hour ago, delicate gold earrings in the shape of olive branches. His gift to apologize for what he’d done to her this morning, given to her privately in her room before leaving the hotel.
They’d joked about the symbolism. The sincerity in his eyes while he stood behind her at the mirror and watched her put them on sent a much stronger message.
Julian’s gift restored any lost faith in their slowly building relationship.
She turned away from the view and looked up front, to where Julian sat lost in his own thoughts. An intense expression. Was he thinking about her? Their losses? Their kiss? Or was he thinking about how they’d both made confessions this morning that weren’t easy to share?
“Hey!” Joel’s voice rose from the bus’s back. “Our first field of sunflowers!”
Julian turned around, his face full of interest, like he always did when he slipped on his tour director mask. “Thanks, Joel. Beppe, let’s stop for pictures.”
The bus pulled over and everyone got out their cameras, leaning to one side to get the perfect picture. Mamie snapped one, but much as she loved this beautiful setting, she felt strangely sad leaving Siena. The city had begun to feel like home. Even with what had happened at the race earlier today, she still loved the city, its people, the food, and the atmosphere.
But the melancholy inside her went deeper. The drive to the villa started their second and last leg of their trip. Endings weren’t her thing.
Her gaze drifted again to Julian, who now leaned forward in his seat, talking quietly to Beppe while they waited. She could still feel the strength of his arms, supporting her after the accident with the horses and his lips on hers. Tender, soothing, and just so right.
He turned away from Beppe and stood with a ready smile for the passengers. “Okay, a little bit about sunflowers. They’re a symbol of Tuscany, but were brought here by European explorers who visited the Americas. They became a crop over time when someone patented a way to squeeze oil from the seeds.”
“Very rich in vitamin A and E, too,” Joel said, then turned back out the window with his camera aimed at the field.
“Thank you, Joel. Sunflowers are called Girasole in Italian. It means ‘sunturner.’ It’s a characteristic called heliotropism where over the course of a day, they follow the sun from east to west.”
The passengers were busy snapping pictures and barely listened. He glanced at Mamie and winked.
“We go now?” Beppe interrupted the moment.
Julian startled and nodded. “Sure. Everyone, take your seats. We’re almost there.”
The bus took off and a mile or two down the round, they rounded the corner, turning onto a cypress-lined road.
Julian faced the passengers. “Strai
ght ahead is our home for the rest of your stay.” He pointed. “Up on the hill.”
The entire bus full of people let out a gasp.
Verdant hills served as a backdrop to an enormous stone villa, elevated by its placement on a low hillside. Cypress trees dotted the grounds surrounding the majestic house, a place that appeared large enough to house a small village.
“Very funny,” Bob yelled from his seat in the back row.
“Not a joke this time, Bob.”
Mamie’s pulsed raced at the thought of staying in such a place. Siena had tons of Tuscan charm, but this villa offered a total different element to her journey.
“This hamlet was originally built in the fifteenth century, but renovated ten years ago by the current owners.” Julian’s gaze scanned the passengers and a gentle smile crossed his face. “È bellissimo, vero?”
“Dude.” Bob raised his voice. “It’s really bellissimo.” He sounded truly awed for the first time on the trip.
“We’ll be there in a minute. When you get off the bus, I’ll give you your villa assignments while Beppe unloads the luggage.”
A few minutes later, the bus pulled up in front of a paved courtyard. The compound had several buildings, all with stone walls covered in creeping vines. Down a few steps from the courtyard, a flat area housed an in-ground swimming pool and further away, a tennis court.
“We have five different housing units here. Couples will be together. Singles, you’ll have your own room. The apartments have several bathrooms and kitchen facilities to share if you prefer to eat on your own. If not, a cocktail hour begins at six each night, then our meal about an hour and a half later in a building designated for common use near the swimming pool. Chef Andre might ask you to help by setting the table, little things. Oh, there’s tennis and swimming, some bikes to use for rides around town, and free Wi-Fi.”
They exited the bus and Julian started calling villa assignments. Mamie stepped away from the group, enjoying the warm breeze, stunned by the gorgeous views of both hills and valley.
The Sweet Life Page 16