by Smith, Wendy
“Neither can I. I had to do some serious grovelling to get someone to swap hours with me.”
I grin. “If you’re working tomorrow, you’ll need to get a lot of sleep tonight.”
He waggles his eyebrows. “I had other plans. Are you even watching this movie?”
“No.”
“I’ve got something for you. Not that you really need it, but I did. Lucy’s still calling me wanting financial help, and I keep telling her to talk to her lawyer, but I don’t think she’s doing it because she doesn’t have the money.”
I frown. “I’m confused.”
“The way it all ended bothered me. Not that I miss her, because I’m in such a better place now, but this was important.” He reaches into his pocket and hands me a piece of paper.
I unfold it, and I smile as I recognise what it is. He’s been tested for everything under the sun and come out of it with a glowing bill of health.
“I’m here, Hayley, and I’m all yours. Maybe my past will bug us for a while, but I want to try and put it behind us.”
I smile. “Thank you for this. In some warped way it means a lot.”
“For me too. I know we’ve been using condoms, but I wanted us to be safe. Given our respective occupations.”
Laughing, I press my hand to his chest. “I agree. So, what else are we going to do today?”
“Let’s talk.”
“Are those all your other plans?”
He smirks. “No, but I like talking to you. We cram so much into the limited time we have together, and it can’t all be sex. Even if I want it to be.”
I nod. “Fair enough.”
“Do you want to have children?” he asks.
The question catches me by surprise. He’s sweet and funny, but sometimes so intense. It’s not like we’ve been together that long. Still, I decide to answer honestly. I’d rather get it out in the open. “One day.”
“I do. I want lots.”
The grin on his face makes me laugh. “Define lots.”
He shrugs. “I grew up in a family of five boys. We were all really close, at least until Adam left. I want that closeness for my kids.”
I take a moment to respond. “I grew up alone. And then I was a terrible disappointment to my parents. I was never sure if I wanted to put a child through that. Not that I’d treat them that way, but I always wished I’d had a brother or sister to turn to. I had no one else. So, I don’t know about lots, but I want more than one.”
His eyes grow so sad. “That sucks. What on earth were your parents thinking? You should have been all the more precious to them.” He sighs. “Though, I can’t talk. Not after the stunt Mum pulled. Then again, if we’d all done more to make sure Adam knew the truth …” He takes a deep breath. What did you do to disappoint your parents?”
“What did your mother do to Adam and Lily?”
“Lily didn’t tell you?”
I shake my head and get a sigh in response.
“You know what happened to her, right? The abuse she suffered from her mother?”
I nod. All of Copper Creek knows about that. There are people who sympathise and see past what Lily’s mother did, and others who don’t like her, convinced she’s turned out the same as the woman who gave birth to her. In the four years I’ve been living here, I’ve heard a lot of gossip.
“Adam left because he was a mess, and he’d fallen out with Corey over it. In trying to avoid hearing how happy Lily was, he cut all of us off. Mum fed him a bunch of lies about how well she was doing and who she was with.”
I grip Drew’s arm. “Even the town gossips knew she was raising Max by herself.”
“Adam didn’t know that. The stubborn prick was too hurt to come back and check for himself. They lost so much time together unnecessarily.” He kisses my hand again. “I don’t want to lose time with the right person, and I think I’ve found her.”
“Drew …”
“Back to you, princess. Tell me about your parents.”
I bite down on my lips. “Have you heard of David McCarthy?”
“The name rings a bell.”
“Brewery King.”
His eyes widen. “I think I read something about him. Worth millions?”
I nod. “That’s my dad. He wanted me to go into business. My mother wanted me to find my own rich guy and give her grandchildren. I decided to become a midwife and help other people with their babies.”
Drew’s eyebrows knit as he frowns. “How can that be disappointing?”
“It wasn’t what either of them wanted for me. And then I had that patient die.”
“It’s a lot to deal with, especially when you’re not long qualified.”
I sigh. “I was on the verge of giving up I was that frustrated. Then Margaret and I found each other and she convinced me to come here. Best thing I ever did.”
Drew bends closer and presses his lips to mine. “If only I’d found you four years ago.”
“I needed to find me first. You got me at a good time.” I grin.
“I’ll have you any time.”
12
Hayley
I dream of her sometimes
She’s not real, not yet at least, but I have a little girl who’s so much like me. She snuggles into bed and I hold her tight, breathing in that baby smell.
I think I dream of her because she’ll have everything I didn’t have. I’ll have no expectations other than that she grows up healthy and confident enough to make her own decisions. She’ll be strong because I’ll support her in whatever she chooses.
My eyes don’t want to open when the phone starts chirping on the coffee table just as I get comfortable on the couch. Hopefully, it’s Drew. We haven’t seen each other for three weeks, and I’m climbing the walls a bit. This whole long-distance thing is awful when all I want is to be in his arms at the end of the day.
I fumble for it as my hand makes contact with the wooden surface, pulling it to me and opening one eye.
Shit.
“Hi, Mum,” I mumble.
“Hayley, you sound tired. Did I wake you? It’s the middle of the day.”
I wipe the drool from the corner of my mouth. “I’ve been working most of the night. Just catching up on some sleep.”
“If only your job was normal hours.”
“Babies don’t keep to rosters.” I laugh, but it’s hollow and tired, and I want to screw my eyes up and finish this so I can sleep. Conversations like this leave me wondering if I was ever a baby at all. I have no idea how my mother coped.
“Do you remember Courtney Jackson?”
I let out a loud breath. “Kind of.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen her, but her boy is back from overseas. Remember him? Although, when I say boy, he’s a rather impressive man now. A lawyer.”
I shake my head and roll my eyes. They ache. What I need is sleep.
“Well, Mum, I’ve got a boyfriend. I just haven’t told you because I wanted to know where it was going first.”
She breathes heavily. It’s the breath of disappointment I’ve heard before. I haven’t shared my private life with her in years, and she’s annoyed right now that I haven’t updated her. I can tell by the silence.
“What does he do for a job? Does anyone in that town have a job?”
I bite down on my bottom lip before I really upset her. “He’s a doctor in Hamilton.”
“A doctor?” Now she sounds upbeat.
“He’s an obstetrician. His family lives in Copper Creek. That’s how we met.”
“Oh. So how much does an obstetrician earn?”
I slap my palm against my forehead. “I don’t know, Mum. We haven’t gone into salary specifics. It doesn’t matter to me.” I sigh. “We’re getting to know each other, and we’re happy. That’s all that matters.”
“I’m just looking out for you.”
“I know, and I appreciate it so much. But I can’t live the life you want me to. It has to be what I want.”
> She sighs, and for the first time it washes over me, as if it means nothing. Because that’s exactly what it is. I’m doing what I need to keep myself afloat, financially and emotionally.
“Okay. I’ll let you get back to sleep. Think about it, though. She was telling me he was asking after you.”
“Who?”
“Courtney Jackson’s son.”
This is so vague it’s worth testing her. “What’s his name? Does he know me?”
There’s silence again, and I slam my hand across my eyes in frustration. She doesn’t even remember his name and yet she’s all but married us off in her head.
“I’m going to sleep, Mum. I can barely keep my eyes open.”
“Fine. Talk again soon.”
The call ends abruptly, as it usually does.
We weren’t always this way. This wall between us went up when I abandoned her and Dad’s plans for me and did what I wanted, only to have them both doing the whole ‘we told you so’ routine when things went downhill.
I close my eyes and return to the dream of my child, the one who only exists in my head. She visits more often on days like this, almost like a premonition that my mother will contact me and make me feel inadequate.
Even when my life far surpasses any of my past expectations.
* * *
I didn’t know what loneliness was until I met Drew Campbell. Not that I blame him for that. I’d suffocated in the city, yearning for peace and quiet, and found Copper Creek just when I needed it.
I’ve made friends. My colleagues are wonderful and supportive. Margaret and I are a great team. And I’ve dated from time to time. For the most part though, I’m content to be by myself, away from the expectations of my parents and the crowded big city.
Drew makes me feel whole and empty all at the same time. When I’m with him, my world lights up in a blaze of colour. When I’m not, it returns to the drab hues it was before I came here, and I’ve never felt so alone.
When he’s not here, I ache for him.
Tonight is my dinner with Ash Harris to discuss the women in his community getting proper pre-natal care. My stomach rolls because he makes me nervous. Meeting him in public beats going into that community again, as that scared the crap out of me, but it’s not much better.
I dress conservatively, with a deep blue high necked dress with long sleeves. My heart wishes Drew was here. Maybe I should have been more forceful and not let Ash talk me into this. I’m the queen of hindsight.
It’s just a couple of hours.
Picking up the phone, I dial Drew again, but the call’s not going through. I don’t have a landline because I live on my mobile, but there are times when the phone coverage is a bit patchy out here. It always picks its moments.
He knows I’m going and isn’t happy about it, but I just need to hear his voice.
At the sound of a tap on the door, I throw my phone into my handbag and open it.
The dark eyes of Ash Harris drink me in, and I shrink back. His lips curl, and I have no doubt he thinks it’s because he has some sort of magnetic effect on me. I’ve seen that effect in practice on some of the women in his community. That’s not what causes my reaction. He scares me.
“You look incredible,” he says in that smooth-as-silk voice.
I smile, but it’s in the knowledge that my overwhelming attraction to Drew overrides any potential interest in this guy. He came into my life at exactly the right time. I’m far from vulnerable now. “Thank you.”
“Shall we go?”
I nod, and follow him out to his car. Margaret might think this is a good idea, but I’m still not convinced. Maybe because Ash makes me so nervous.
He drives the short distance to the poshest restaurant in town. It’s not open all year-round, but it is during the spring and summer when tourists are more likely to be in town.
My head’s in a whirl as we’re led to our table. The most important thing about tonight is getting a foot in the door. The last thing I want is to have to go through what we did with Julia a second time. With proper care, it would never have gone that far or been the emergency that it was.
“Heineken please,” he says to the waitress. “Hayley?”
“Just a glass of water, thanks.”
“Would you like to order food too?” the waitress asks.
He nods. “May I please have the scotch fillet with peppercorn sauce? Medium-rare.”
“Can I get the same?” I ask.
My skin crawls when he smiles at me, as if he’s pleased with my decision. I guess he’s used to people following his lead. The thought never crossed my mind. I just like the steak here.
I lean forward, ready to talk shop. “So, we need to talk about the situation that happened with Julia and how that can be avoided going forward.”
Ash leans back in his seat. “You really want to talk about business straight away?”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
He nods. “The easiest way to fix it is for you to come and live with us. Live with me.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
The drinks arrive and break the tension between us. He never removes his gaze from me, and it’s uncomfortable, but I don’t let him know that. I get the feeling he’ll be looking for any vulnerability, any way to get under my skin and convince me to do what he wants.
“There are two community midwives, and we basically share the load between us. There’ll always be someone to take care of pre-natal visits, births, and after-birth checks between us.”
“I want you.” His tone suggests that he means more than just for me to be a midwife in his community, but I choose to take it that way.
“I work for Margaret Joyce. We have a roster.”
He shakes his head. ”No, Hayley. I want you.”
There’s no mistaking it now, and I swallow hard. “Well, that’s impossible.”
“Is it?” His lips curl into a smile. “You’d have everything you ever wanted. I would make you my queen.”
Princess. Drew’s voice is in my head, and I draw strength from it. “I’m not interested. Like I’ve already told you, I have a good life, a job, and a boyfriend.”
Disappointment flickers in his eyes. “I could give you more.”
I hold my palms up. “This isn’t going to happen.”
For a moment, we stare at each other.
“Excuse me for a minute. I need to go to the bathroom.” Ash gets up and walks away. Has he given up, or is he just taking a moment to work out a new strategy? Maybe he really just needs to use the bathroom. Leaving is an option, but I don’t want to cause an even bigger scene in a town that’s so prone to gossip. Shit. My stomach churns at the thought of Drew’s family finding out about this dinner. No matter how innocent it is, it doesn’t look appropriate.
Ash wants me, and his intensity terrifies me. He’s just offered me his whole world, whatever that is. I’ve had a glimpse behind the curtain, and I can see how impressive it could look.
“Hayley.”
I look up. Owen Campbell’s walking toward me, and anger’s written all over his face.
“Owen?”
“What the hell are you doing?” he hisses.
“I’m having a business dinner.”
“It’s who he is, Hayley. I don’t trust him. And I thought you were with Drew. Doesn’t look like it.”
My jaw drops. “Drew’s my boyfriend. This isn’t a date. Plus, Drew knows about it.”
“That’s what it looks like to me.”
“You’re wrong.”
Ash walks back toward the table, raising an eyebrow at us. Owen rolls his eyes. “Enjoy your evening.”
“Are you okay?” Ash asks.
I nod. “He was just saying hi. He’s my boyfriend’s brother.”
“Not a nice hi from the look on your face.”
Shrugging, I turn back to my drink. “We don’t know each other that well.”
“And he’s upset seeing you with another man?�
��
“Something like that.”
He gives me a smile. “I’m sorry. I understand your reluctance to leave your life and live with us. With me. I’ll just say thank you for everything you’ve done, and we’ll have dinner.”
“We still need to work out future care for any pregnancies that might eventuate in your community.”
“That can wait.”
I’ve been put in my place.
Ash licks his lips slowly. “Is this going to cause trouble between you and your boyfriend?”
“No. Drew knows how I feel about him.”
Across the room, Owen keeps his eyes on me. His date also has her gaze focused in my direction, but she’s glaring. God knows what she thinks.
I’m relieved when dinner arrives as it kills the uncomfortable silence between me and the man across the table, who’s probably not used to anyone saying no to him.
At least tonight is nearly over.
* * *
We reach my house, and I can’t wait to get inside. This guy plays games, and even if I’m refusing to play, it’s exhausting. There must be people who just give up fighting it because he’s so intense.
I slip my key in the door, and turn back toward Ash. “Thanks for dinner.”
“Thank you for coming with me. Maybe we could do it again sometime.” He flashes that vibrant smile and before I know it, his lips are on mine, his tongue pressing for entrance into my mouth.
“Get off me.” I push, my heart pounding with panic.
He runs his hand through his hair, his eyes piercing me. “I thought …”
“You thought what? I said no.” All I want is Drew—all I need is Drew. If I ever doubted how strong my feelings were, there’s no more doubt.
Ash reaches for my elbow. “I want you to come and join us.”
“Don’t touch me.” I pull back.
He licks his lips and nods. “I’ll leave, but please consider it.”
“I told you, I’m happy with my life the way it is.”
Taking a step back, he doesn’t take his eyes from me. In another place, another life, maybe I could fall for this guy, but not this way and not here or now. “Think about it. I know you’ll change your mind.”