by Smith, Wendy
“I asked him to stay last night, and he went home instead.”
She cocks her head. “I’m so sorry.”
“He was right. It’s too early.” I take another sip of wine. “Might have to wait until next week.”
She laughs, reaching across the table to place her hand on mine. “As long as you’re happy and not getting into another Garrett situation. One of those arseholes is enough for one lifetime.”
I join in the laughter, but I still worry in the back of my head. Is James who I need and not just who I want?
* * *
There’s a single pink rose on my desk when I get in on Monday morning.
I smile. It can’t be James. Can it?
I pull out my phone.
Me: Did you leave something on my desk?
The reply comes straight back.
James: Guilty as charged. I had to “drop a book back that I’d borrowed”.
I grin. This isn’t helping me fight this, even though I know deep down that I should. James is a guilty pleasure for me, and he makes me feel desirable and wanted. It’s been a long time since I felt that.
What I need to work out is if he’s good for my ego or if it’s something more.
Me: Thank you. It’s beautiful.
James: So are you.
My body tingles with anticipation for Friday. I want more kisses. I want more caresses. Even the simple act of him holding me brings me joy.
It’s becoming clearer with every passing moment just how much I’ve missed out on for years.
Me: You’re good for my ego. Talk to you later xx
I pick up the rose, breathing in its scent. This is the best ever start to the day.
But I have work to do, and I tuck the rose into a desk drawer and lock it away.
I have two lectures for the day, and once they’re done, I head back to my office to get some marking done before I go home.
Garrett’s sitting in my office. I managed to avoid him the first week he was here, but now he’s seeking me out. I’m sure he has the admin staff falling all over him. He has all that charm for people who don’t know the real him. He’s a dark-haired, blue-eyed snake.
“I guess I forgot to lock the door.” I place my bag on my desk and muster the dirtiest look I can.
“Thought I’d pop in and say hi. Wanna go for a drink?”
“No.”
He smiles. “Come on.”
“I’m not interested, Garrett. I didn’t want you to come here, so why would I celebrate with you?”
He leans forward. “Do you miss me?”
“Are you even listening?”
He lets out a sigh. “I thought maybe if I was close to you, you’d see what a mistake you’ve made. I’ve got plenty of others interested.”
“Then go fuck one of them. They can have you.”
This isn’t me. It was never me. But Garrett brings it out. I realised a long time ago that I had to be blunt with him. But this, like every other conversation we have, will fall on deaf ears.
“There’s something wrong with you, Mia. This isn’t like you. Have you seen someone about it?”
“Get the hell out of my office.”
He stands, straightening his tie, and I’m really glad that the rose James left me is locked in my desk drawer. The last thing I need is Garrett sniffing around my love life.
“Garrett. Now.”
He gives me a steely glare, the one that used to end all our arguments. The one that used to reduce me to an apologetic groveller. Usually for something I had nothing to apologise for.
Not this time.
I drive home, the rose on the passenger seat of my car. My constant reminder that there’s something better out there for me. Unless James turns out to be just like him. I glance at the rose again out of the corner of my eyes. I’ll just need to protect my heart until I know I can trust James.
I hate that Garrett leaves me feeling so raw and vulnerable.
But I also can’t shut myself off.
* * *
After a quick stir-fry dinner, I sit down with a glass of wine.
Work is going to be tough from here on in. I’ll have to remember to lock my office whenever I leave it just to keep Garrett out. Which sucks. Usually I lock it at night, and the cleaners unlock in the morning, but I don’t lock it between lectures in case any of the other staff need to drop anything off.
My life is about to change again.
But it’s not all bad. When I close my eyes, I feel James against me, his lips on mine, his tongue seeking entrance and telling me that he wants more. He wants me.
I jump when my phone rings, and smile when I see who it is. “James.”
“I just got home, and I wanted to hear your voice.”
I grin. I can’t help it. “It’s good to hear from you.”
“How was your day?”
Taking a small sip of my wine, I give a little contented sigh. “Made better by you. By the way, my office will be locked during the day if I’m not in there from now on. Garrett paid me a visit.”
“Shit.” His tone grows serious. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’d tucked the rose away to avoid any questions anyway, but I have to be more careful. On the way out, I asked if the cleaners could make sure the door was locked when they were finished in the morning. I don’t want him in there.”
“Understandable. What did he want?”
I sigh. “Just to tell me what a mistake I’m making, and I guess to reiterate that he’s working there now.”
There’s silence for a moment. I’d love to see his face.
“But you’re okay? Did he upset you?”
“A little, but I’m home and I just ate. Right now I have a glass of wine, so all is right with the world.” I lick my lips. “I’m just missing you.”
I swear he growls, but it’s hard to tell over the phone. “I’m looking forward to Friday.”
“Me too. I went to Cody’s this afternoon to study, but I thought a lot about you.”
My heart thuds, but not because he’s thinking about me. “You didn’t tell him about us, did you?”
“No. Of course not. I’m not going to risk your career or my education. We’re in this together, Mia.”
I suck on my bottom lip. “I told a friend about you. Well, not about you per se, but she knows I’m seeing a student. But she’s supportive and she’s not looking for your identity. She just likes seeing me happy.”
He chuckles. “I hope this makes you happy. But I don’t think we should tell anyone else. Not yet anyway.”
“I don’t think we should either. My friend Kelly hates Garrett, if that helps.”
He laughs louder. “I’m glad you have her, then.” He pauses. “I should get going. I have to get ready for work. Working nights really screws me up.”
“What hours do you work?”
“Eight until four in the morning.”
I grimace. “Ouch.”
“Won’t hurt as much this week because I have Friday to look forward to.”
“I’m going to finish this glass of wine and get to bed.”
He lets out a loud breath. “There’s an image. Don’t get into any trouble. Have a good night, Mia.”
I laugh. “The only time I think I’ll get into trouble is when you’re around.”
“I like the way you think. Save it for Friday. Good night, Mia.”
“Good night.”
6
James
My stomach is in knots by the time Friday comes.
Fridays are usually pretty good. My only lecture is in the afternoon, so after my Thursday-night shift I get a decent sleep. It still leaves me tired.
But today is different.
Tonight is date night with Mia.
I’m not sure how things are going to go, but I can imagine there’ll be more kissing. How far will that take us?
We’ve talked on the phone every night this week, and the anticipation has built between us to the point wh
ere she’s all I can think about.
And I know she’s feeling the same way.
I pull into her garage, and there’s a few moments before the door closes behind me.
She’s waiting in the kitchen, and I don’t hold back. I take her in my arms and kiss her, the tiredness disappearing when I’m holding her. Her body’s tight against mine, and that’s just the way I like it.
“James.” She gasps when I let her up for air.
“How did you think I was going to greet you after a whole week?” I press my forehead to hers.
“I’m not complaining.” She pecks me on the lips. “I made dinner.”
I grin. “You didn’t have to.”
“I know, but I’ve been fidgeting since I got home, so I needed to do something.” She laughs. “I hope you like the meal.”
“I’m sure I’ll love it.”
Her eyes are so full of life, and her dimples are on full display. I love seeing her like this—so vibrant and full of excitement. “But before that, do you want a beer?”
“That would be great. It’s been such a long week.”
Mia squeezes my hand. “For me too.”
She lets go of me and crosses the kitchen to open the fridge. My heart feels as if it’s about to burst, but I’m not nervous. It’s weird for me. I remember how awkward I was when Ashley and I first got together, but with Mia, it’s so easy.
Maybe it’s because I feel so protective of her, and that’s overriding everything.
“Here you go. Dinner won’t be long.”
“Thanks.” I take the beer she offers and with my free hand, pull her toward me again. Kissing her feels natural, and I intend to do it a lot more. She relaxes against me, and it’s the best feeling in the world.
“Take a seat at the table. I just have to mash the potatoes and we’ll eat.”
“Good, because I want to get on with the rest of our night.”
Her grin lights up the room. “So do I.”
* * *
Mia’s a great cook. It’s a simple meal—crumbed lamb chops with mashed potato and fresh vegetables, but it’s perfect and tasty.
Afterward, I help her put the dishes in the dishwasher, and I wipe down the bench while she wraps her arms around me from behind. Her palms are flat on my stomach, and I sigh at the contact.
“I like having you around,” she says.
I turn. “I like being around. Let’s go to the living room and see what’s on TV.”
She nods. “Or we could talk.”
“Or that. I’m not sure we’d see much of anything.”
Mia laughs, taking me by the hand and leading me into the living room. “I’ve missed you all week.” She pulls me down onto the couch beside her.
“I’m not sure I can go another week without seeing you.” I reach up and palm her cheek.
After licking her lips, she purses them with a look in her eyes that tells me she has something big to say.
“Are you okay, Mia?”
“I need to know that you’re doing this because you like me. Not because I’ll be one of your lecturers next year and you’re trying to get brownie points.”
She needs to know I want her for her, but how do I convince her of that? “I’ll drop out next year if that’s what it takes to prove it to you. I like you. I really like you.”
She lays her hand on my arm. “You don’t have to drop out next year. We’ll work this out.”
“So, that’s a yes?”
Her lips curl into a smile. “A yes to what?”
“Wherever this night takes us. Slowly, but surely.”
Mia laughs. “I like that idea.”
I claim her mouth again. The kisses in the kitchen were tame compared to this. I need to show her how much I care for her.
My hand rests on her shoulder, and I run it down her arm. When she leans into me, I brave cupping her breast. She breaks the kiss with a gasp.
I look into her eyes.
She nods.
I run my thumb over her breast, grazing her nipple.
“Is this what you want too?” I ask. “I don’t want to rush things, but this feels so right.”
“For me too.”
“All I want to do is touch you.”
“I’ll let you.” She gives me a bashful smile, and I feel it in my groin.
“We’ll go slow.”
She nods, and I kiss her, fondling her breast through her clothing. When I pinch her nipple, she gasps again, and I swallow it in my kiss.
I slip my hand up under her shirt, pushing aside her bra. As I stroke her bare skin, she melts under me.
“James.” She breaks away, and I push up her shirt. Her breast is full with a light pink nipple that’s pebbled under my fingers.
“Too much?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I’m fine. I just want …”
I bend my head, tonguing her nipple before sucking it into my mouth. Mia strokes my back as I graze my teeth over it.
“I want you,” I say, raising my head.
Her eyes search mine. “I want you too. How do we do this, James?”
I smile. “It’s simple.”
I drop to her other breast, repeating my actions. She lets out a contented sigh, her fingernails raking my back. I want to be inside her while she does that to my bare skin. I want to give her every little bit of pleasure that I can.
Taking a deep breath, I run my hand up her thigh and under her skirt. She sucks in a breath, and I meet her gaze, maintaining eye contact as I slip my hand into her panties, seeking her clit with my fingers.
There are no words.
There’s no need for them.
Her expression softens as her eyelashes flutter. I stroke her clit with my index finger as we gaze at one another. I’m so fucking hard and can’t wait to taste her, to be inside her.
She slides down the couch, giving me better access. When I slide my middle finger into her pussy, she gasps.
“You like?” I ask.
“Very much.”
I chuckle, slipping my index finger into her and using my thumb to rub her clit. “We should go to bed.”
Her eyes widen. “I guess the way the night’s progressing, we’re not taking things slowly.”
“I was all for that, but right now I have two fingers in your pussy, and I’m not sure that’s going slow.”
She laughs, and I wince as her pussy tightens around my fingers.
“Are you okay?”
“Apart from having this desperate need to be inside you?”
Mia palms my cheek. “It’s mutual. Believe me. I’m just a little scared.”
“Of what?”
“This. Us. I never planned on having sex with a student.”
I pull my fingers out of her. “I thought it was more than that.”
“We still barely know each other, James. Are you worth being reckless and irresponsible for?”
My lips twitch. “You tell me.” I slide my fingers back into her and pump them slowly, my thumb grazing her clit.
“Oh, you’re playing dirty.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone so much.” I lean over and nuzzle her neck. She squirms underneath me.
“I’m going to … ohhhh.” Her body jolts as she comes. My fingers are soaked and all I can smell is her. That scent is my favourite aphrodisiac.
She pants. “Okay, that was …”
I grin. “Are you going to finish any of your sentences?”
Her chest rises and falls rapidly. “I’m beginning to realise I’ve lived a really sheltered life.”
“You’ve come before, right?”
“Not like that.” Her cheeks are flushed, and her hair is mussed. If anyone showed up right now, they’d know what we’d been up to. “Not so … consuming.”
“Consuming?”
She laughs. “I’m not sure how to describe it. Less functional and more emotional.”
“I’m not sure if I can handle sex with you if you’re going to be all
scientific about it.”
“James?”
I smile. “Yes?”
“Let’s go to bed.”
I pull my fingers out of her, and smile as she straightens her skirt when she stands.
“I’m not sure why you’re doing that. It’s just going to come off in a few minutes.”
Her cheeks flush and she laughs. “I’m not sure either.”
Taking my hand in hers, she leads me up the hallway and into the large master bedroom.
“The bed is new, in case you’re wondering,” she says.
“My brain’s not working too well right now, so I wasn’t.”
Laughing, she turns to face me. I reach for the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. Her bra’s sitting awkwardly above her breasts and as she reaches for the clip, I take in the sight of her.
When she realises, she crosses her arms over her breasts.
“What’s wrong?”
“Maybe this was a mistake.”
I frown, grasping her arms and pulling her toward me. “Why?”
“I’m thirty-nine years’ old, James. I’m no spring chicken. My body’s not what it used to be.”
“It looks amazing to me.”
Her worried expression softens. “I think we both know you don’t mean that.”
“But I do. You’re beautiful, Mia. I want to make you feel that.”
She sucks in her bottom lip. It drives me crazy how she’s so confident one minute and withdraws the next, but I know it’s her past that causes her to doubt herself.
Doubt is one thing she never needs to do with me.
I let her arms go and she uncrosses them. Her breasts are perfect. As perfect as they were a few minutes ago when I tasted them. “Let me see the rest of you.”
She shakes her head. “Not yet. You’re still wearing all your clothes.”
I grin as she reaches for my T-shirt. When she pulls it over my head, I feel her eyes on me.
Her hands are warm as she places them on my torso and takes a deep breath. “You work out?”
I nod. “Box mostly, but sometimes weights.”