“Well . . .” he let his words trail off. The last thing he wanted to do now was walk away from her.
Kristina’s thoughts echoed his own, and she knew he was about to leave. But everything within her cried out that she couldn’t let him walk away from her again. She also knew that any effort had to come from her. She had done the pushing away and she would have to do the reaching out.
“I was going to go home and get changed, and then go for a walk in the park.” She said, her voice trembling with nervousness. She paused, praying that he wouldn’t reject her offer.
“Well, I’ll let you get to it then . . .” He said with a wave, turning dejectedly toward the street. He walked only a few steps when she stopped him.
“No!” She cried, a little too loud. She blushed as several others turner her way. Bridging the distance between them, she asked, “I mean, I was wondering if you'd like to join me?”
Looking down at her, her cheeks still stained with embarrassment, he said cautiously, “Sure.”
“Great!” she squeaked, her voice breaking. Clearing her throat, she said, “How about we meet near the fountain in about thirty minutes?"
He saw her hand tremble as she brushed an errant curl from her face. Was she still wary of him, or was she nervous of asking him to the park? “Sure thing.”
Fifteen minutes later, Kristina sat on the park bench, waiting for Nathan to arrive. Doubt wriggled in her heart, whispering that he wasn’t going to show. Silencing the doubt, she reminded herself she was early. She had rushed home and nearly twisted her ankle in a rush to get back to the park. Now she sat, staring at the now vacant spot where the church’s nativity display had been last Thanksgiving. Memories of that night came flooding back, his gentleness with Alyssa, the warmth and caring in his smile, and the love that shone in his eyes.
As Kristina was lost in thought, Nathan stood several feet away from her, taking in her beauty. He remembered how she looked a little over a year ago, brandishing her pepper spray. Now, she sat with a soft smile gracing her stunning face, relaxed and at peace. He had seen over the past few weeks the depth of her faith and how it had grown. He had been blessed to see her encourage and edify Barbara. Nathan chuckled. There were quite a few times she reminded him of how great God was.
At that moment, David, who had been calmly sitting beside him, caught sight of Kristina and bounded toward her, barking excitedly. She smiled and bent down to pet the dog affectionately.
“I’m so glad you brought David,” Kristina said as Nathan walked up to her, “I have missed him.”
Please say you’ve missed me, he thought. With a laugh, he said, “I think he’s missed you, too.”
An awkward silence filled the space between them as both longed to say what was on their hearts, but not knowing where to begin.
Kristina was the first to speak as she stood next to him. “Well, I’m glad the trial is over. Barbara can put that behind her now.”
“Yeah,” he said, falling into step beside her as she began to walk. “Has she told you what she plans to do about the baby?"
Shaking her head, she answered, “No, she said that at her next appointment she would be able to find out what the sex was. But she hasn’t decided if she was going to."
Nathan nodded silently, “You were such a blessing to her these past few weeks. I don’t know what she would have done without you.”
“She is a strong girl, and she has a strong faith.” Pausing, she looked at him and said, “Besides, just like you once told me, sometimes we let our circumstances shape us, instead of God. When we stare at our circumstances for too long, they appear bigger than our God. Barbara just needed to refocus.”
Nathan smiled at her words, and said, “You know, you have come a long way in your walk with God. It’s good to see.”
Kristina hesitated, knowing this was the opening she was looking for, but now that it was here, it was frightening to go through. Well, she had rejected him cruelly, and if that was what he would do to her now, then so be it. She would never know if there could be more unless she tried.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “I have you to thank for that.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you stood up that one Sunday and asked us all to vow to leave our fears at the Cross, I realized I had been dragging my baggage around – even though I didn't need to.” She stopped walking and turned to him. “I’m sorry Nathan; I know I hurt you deeply."
“I wasn’t talking about you in that sermon,” he said, concerned that she thought he used the pulpit as a way to scold her for how she spurned him.
“You might not have been talking about me, but God was talking to me,” she replied. “That day I went home and decided to truly leave everything at the Cross. I vowed to not look at my circumstances, but to look to my God.”
With a shrug she continued, “It hasn’t been easy. Watching Barb go through the trial, and the struggle with her decision regarding the baby . . . you don’t know how many times I have wanted to ask God, ‘Why?’ A day doesn’t go by when I don’t wish that I could go back and reclaim what I shoved away in fear.”
At his raised eyebrow, she said, “Ever since my car died on the road to Hamilton, I have been asking God to send me a miracle. And He kept sending me one. But I never recognized it until it was too late.” Take a deep breath, she said, “I didn’t realize that miracle was you, and I just let it go.”
Her words gripped his heart, and for a second he just stood there, unable to move for fear he was just dreaming. That this moment wasn't really happening.
Kristina mistook his silence, and began to look away from him so he couldn’t see the tears that were forming in her eyes.
Recovering from his shock, Nathan cupped her face in his hands. “Kristina, I never went anywhere.” He kissed her then. The sweetness of his touch, the gentleness of his kiss sent tears down her cheeks. Brushing the tears from her face, he explained, “God was dealing with me, too. That sermon was born out of the realization that I needed to let you go, and let God heal you. I’ve been trying to save you, and God reminded me that only He can.”
It was his turn to laugh as he confessed, “The problem was, when I let you go, my heart broke. I was so angry with God because I thought He’d heal you and then bring you back to me. And as the weeks passed, I saw you changing, but you were still so far from me.”
She smiled up at him as she said sweetly, “But I’m not anymore.”
With a smile, he said, “No you are most definitely not.”
His head bent down and their lips met in a sweet and wonderful kiss.
“Nathan,” she said after they parted, “I love you, and I’m so sorry it took me this long to let go of the past.”
Silencing her words with a swift kiss, he said, “I’m not.”
At her perplexed look, he continued, “Though it was painful to go through, I like the fact that you are now in the center of God’s will.” After another kiss, he added, “And you have never looked more beautiful.”
This time Kristina grasped his head and brought it down to hers in a deep and loving kiss. It wasn’t until David nosed his way between the couple that they parted, though reluctantly. Nathan and Kristina laughed and bent to give the dog some attention, which he reveled in.
Not far off in the park, Barbara sat on a bench, watching the couple. With the trial over, she was ready to focus on the next big decision she had to make. She had come to the park to get some time alone with God, knowing He would guide her. Placing a hand on her belly, she said, “I don't know what you have planned for me and this little one, Lord. But it looks like you have already brought about a miracle through this mess. And I thank You.”
Epilogue
“Please, get me out of this wedding dress now!”
Kristina stood in front of the mirror, an ivory wedding dress gracing her petite frame. The dress was a simple satin A-line with a split chiffon skirt flowing elegantly from Kristina’s tiny waist. The small cap s
leeves hugged her slender shoulders, and the sparkling beading on the bodice was reflected in her hazel eyes.
She turned as the sales clerk helped her from the pedestal, and the two hurried to the dressing room.
Nathan was in Albuquerque at a conference, and she had spent the morning with Barbara and Sandra shopping for her wedding dress. She had caught a glimpse of Barbara in the mirror and mistook her grimace for distaste for the dress. Chuckling at the horrific expression on the young woman’s face, she said, "Well, if you don’t like it, just say so. You don’t have to make that awful face!”
That was when Sandra gasped. “Oh, honey. Is it the baby?”
Now, Kristina all but ripped the beautiful dress from her body and scrambled into her clothes. As Sandra helped Barbara into the car, Kristina was running to the door. “I love it!” she called over her shoulder to the sales clerk. "I’ll be back later!”
As Sandra drove the trio to the hospital, Kristina called Barbara’s father and then Nathan.
“Mr. M’s going to miss it.” Barbara gasped between contractions.
“Oh, honey, these things can take time,” Sandra assured her just as they arrived at the hospital. Kristina helped Barbara out of the car, and a nurse, accompanied by Barbara’s father, met them at the door with a wheelchair.
Kristina watched as she was whisked away.
Her phone rang just as Sandra walked through the door. “Nathan, did you get my message?”
“Yes, my love. I’m on my way now. But I don’t know if I will make it.”
“Your mom said it could take hours, don’t worry.” Kristina added, “I love you. Drive safely.”
Several hours later, Nathan rushed into Barbara’s room and slid to a halt at the sight before him. Barbara was lying in the bed, a peaceful but weary expression on her face. Her dad was sitting by her side, holding her hand, and Barbara’s closest friend, Steve stood in the corner.
The small cry coming from the other corner is what gave him pause. Kristina was holding a small wriggling bundle in her arms. Looking up at him, her eyes filled with wonder, she smiled. “Hello.”
“How are you feeling?” He asked Barbara, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Kristina.
“Happy, tired, scared, and…oh yeah, did I say tired?”
Everyone laughed, and Nathan stood looking down at the wonderful little girl in his bride-to-be’s arms.
Nathan wiped his hands nervously on his jeans, and hesitated before asking Barbara, “Can I hold her?”
“Well, of course!” Barbara laughed as Andrew and Sandra entered the room bearing a bouquet of flowers for her, and a gift for the baby.
“Son, glad you made it.” His father said, and Nathan caught the smile on his mom’s face as she took in the sight of Kristina and him hovering over the child. It wasn't lost on him either. Looking into Kristina’s face, he saw the love for this child that wasn’t even theirs. He could hardly wait until she carried their own in her arms.
As she looked up at him, she smiled softly, “Are you ready?” For a moment, he mistook her question, he was so lost in thoughts about their future.
“Yes,” he said. The baby stared up at him, protesting lightly about being jostled from its comfortable position. However, she soon settled comfortably in his arms. Tears burned the back of his eyes, and he could hardly contain his emotions. Clearing his throat, he asked Barbara, "So did you finally decide on a name?”
He had been teasing her for weeks that they would be calling the baby, “Hey girl!” if she didn’t decide soon.
“I was going to call her Hope, because she brought me so much hope despite all the darkness surrounding me. But seeing all that has come about since I found out I was pregnant with her, I decided on Amari.”
“Amari?” Nathan began. Andrew McKinley came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder and brushed the baby’s cheek with the back of his finger, "Son, Amari means a miracle from God.”
Unable to hold the tears in check any longer, one slid down his cheek. Kristina reached up and brushed it back. With Kristina’s hand resting on his cheek, he said, “Amari couldn’t be a more perfect name.”
About the Author
When Michelle Lynn Brown was a teenager, her mother used to take her to used books stores at least once a month. It was there she fell in love with the written word. As a writer, she uses this passion to share with others the joy of having a personal and intimate relationship with Christ.
She is a housewife, mother of three, military spouse, writer, blogger, hopeless romantic, and a cuddly lap for one very large cat. She was born in Dayton, Ohio, but raised in El Paso, Texas. And since she married her husband, the military has blessed her with the opportunity to live in many locations, from Germany to Pennsylvania, where she now resides.
Like the flawed characters that grace her books, she has had many stumbles and struggles in her life. God’s grace and mercy through these trials have kept her on her knees. It is from this humble position that she seeks to minister through her writing – not as someone who has it all figured out, but just someone who has figured out how wonderful and awesome God is.
Get to know Michelle Lynn Brown better:
www.michellelynnbrown.com
www.facebook.com/michellelynnbrownauthor
www.twitter.com/MizChelleB
The Trampled Rose Series
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The Best Man Series
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Miracles in Disguise (The Trampled Rose Series) Page 16