“There is something wrong about a teenage boy talking about his carb intake.”
“Todd’s a wrestler. At least, I’m not spitting in a towel to make weight.” Sophia shuddered at the thought.
“Hey, can you drive me over to Mrs. Crandall’s. She got Rebecca a PlayStation, and I want to teach her how to play Call of Duty.”
“Sure.”
“Hey, Billy there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. I’m going to go over to Frannie and Tony’s next week. They kept the two boxes of stuff from the trailer. There wasn’t much left, but I think I’m finally ready to go through it. It’s mostly Mom’s stuff. Do you want to go with me?”
Billy looked up from his sandwich and came around the island and put his hands on her shoulders. She had to look up at him.
“If you need me to, sure, I’ll go.”
“Thanks. I think it’s finally time.”
***
Mason loved surfing during the magic hours. According to artists, they were the first hour of light after sunrise and the last hour of light after sunset. He agreed, there was something magical about them. The water sparkled, and he could swear the waves rose to meet him.
He got lost as he sailed over the water on his board. He felt like he was flying and he laughed out loud, the salt water spray getting into his mouth adding to the experience and his pleasure. Down he would go, tumbling into the surf, and that too was exhilarating as he pushed his way to the surface, finding his board and climbing on top. He would paddle to the next wave and start again.
As he thought to himself that this was his greatest joy, he stopped short and fell into the water. Sophia. Hands down, Sophia was his greatest joy. More than anything he wanted to make her happy.
She’d had another dream the night before, this one even worse than the one three nights after the bachelorette party. Again she’d said the same things. “Please don’t go. I need to tell you I love you.” The more he thought about it, the more it didn’t make sense. She always told him she loved him. But still, what else could it mean, except she was scared he would die on a mission?
This time, the wave caught him off guard, and he went down. Served him right. He needed to pay attention. How often did he tell Billy that? It was time to go ashore.
“You okay?” Darius asked over the sound of the water as he maneuvered his board close to his and they paddled towards the beach together.
“Sure,” Mason answered, and Darius raised his eyebrow.
“Okay, not good.”
“You do realize this is your bachelor party. This is what you wanted to do. You’re kind of supposed to be having fun.”
Mason continued to paddle in silence while Darius waited him out.
“It’s Sophia.” Darius stopped paddling and grabbed Mason’s board.
“Hold up and hop up.” Mason watched in resignation as his friend sat up on his board.
“Is this private, or can anyone join?” Drake asked. Mason shook his head.
“It’s not private.” He looked over his shoulder towards the shore and saw Clint, Jack, and Finn were with Billy.
“Okay, so what’s got our groom’s panties in a twist? Have you found out, Dare? You drew the short straw.”
“God dammit.” Mason rubbed the back of his neck and then stopped. He hated when he was obvious. And he knew when he did that it was obvious he was upset about something. The guys laughed.
“Spill it,” Drake demanded.
“Ever since I came home wounded Sophia’s been having bad dreams. She hasn’t done that since those two assholes attacked her a couple of years ago.” Mason looked out towards the moonlit ocean hoping to find answers.
“Shit, that’s to be expected.”
“No, it’s not. She’s even lost some weight she couldn’t afford to lose. This is really getting to her.”
“So when you asked her about it, what did she say?” Darius asked.
Mason swirled his hand in the water.
“You haven’t fucking asked her?” Drake shouted.
“Keep your voice down. I don’t want Billy to hear.”
“You haven’t asked her? Are you dumb?”
“There’s no point. I know what it is. She’s scared I’m on the teams, and she doesn’t want to tell me. She’d never tell me. She always puts her own needs last, and I’m not fucking having it.”
His outburst was met with dead silence. Darius and Drake looked at one another.
“Aren’t you going to ask me?”
“Don’t have to,” Darius said. “Have you made up your mind?”
“Pretty much. I’m going to talk to the captain after the wedding.”
“You’d be working the intel?” Darius asked.
“Yeah, Osterman asked me to do it right after our last goat fuck of a mission. We talked, and I turned him down after suggesting Marty.”
“Marty would be great. You’d be better,” Drake said. “This is fucked up. This is royally fucked up. You are the stupidest man on the planet. You need to talk to your woman.”
“Nope. And you guys better plant some smiles on your God damn faces. Billy has been planning this party for weeks.”
“And just when do you think we got stupid?” Drake asked.
“Sorry. This shit has me all twisted up.”
Darius stopped Mason’s board again. “Mase, you know whatever your decision is we have your back, right?”
Mason felt his chest tighten.
“Yeah. Even if you do abandon us,” Drake said with a grin.
“You’re an asshole, Avery,” Darius said to Drake, shaking his head.
“It sounded like a Hallmark commercial. I couldn’t help it.”
Mason laughed at their antics.
***
He sat propped up against a piece of driftwood and drank a Pacifico beer. He loved seeing Billy get so much attention from his team. Right now he was practically rolling in the sand with laughter. Dare was telling him about Drake’s first time on a surfboard. It had been a sight to behold.
Drake being Drake had been sure it would be a piece of cake. The best part had been when he had come up after a tumble and proceeded to sit up on his board and face the shore. He hadn’t seen the large wave that crashed down on top of him. Everyone on the shore had been clapping and cheering for him when he had finally come ashore. He finally started to listen to the experienced surfers after that.
“Billy, how are Jack’s lessons going? Is he listening?”
“He’s a great student.”
“You’re a great teacher. You’ve saved me from drowning the few times you’ve taken me out,” Jack drawled.
“You’ve caught on really fast,” Billy said enthusiastically.
“How’s Lacrosse going? You doing okay, despite the fact your trainer sucks?” Drake teased.
“What are you–” Billy began belligerently before he realized Drake was teasing about Finn. Then Billy shot Finn a sideways glance. “I suppose I’m doing somewhat okay. I’m hoping I might get someone who can really teach me something next year.”
Finn lunged for Billy, and Mason watched as Billy got up and sprinted down the beach with Finn in pursuit. Billy was pretty damn fast.
“You’re raising a good kid,” Jack said.
“You really are,” Darius agreed.
“He really is raising himself. Either that or Sophia is doing it.” Drake broke out laughing.
“What?” Mason asked.
“You’re the kid’s idol. Hell, he’s even taken on your mannerisms. Learn to take a compliment.” Mason threw a piece of driftwood Drake easily dodged.
“I still think you need to talk to Sophia,” Drake said.
“Our women are a lot tougher than you think.” Mason wasn’t surprised Darius and Drake had managed to fill in Clint and Finn. He turned to Clint.
“Sophia isn’t Lydia. Lydia is the type to want to fight beside you, Sophia isn’t.”
“Beth is more like Sophia,” Jack said, “wouldn’t
you agree?”
“Yes,” Mason said carefully.
“She has a spine of steel same as Sophia. I think you’re reading her wrong. You need to talk to her.”
“Look, guys, I appreciate your counsel, I really do. But my mind’s made up. I absolutely refuse to put Sophia in the position of the bad guy. It’s clear what her nightmares and weight loss mean. My job is to protect her, to cherish her.”
“This is going to kill you, Mase. You know you were meant to serve in the field. That’s where your skillset is it’s where your heart is.” Clint gave him the same steady gaze as everyone around the bond fire.
“And you all know our time in the field is finite. Eventually, we’ll all end up behind desks, I’m just taking the job sooner. I’ll still have your backs.”
“You’re acting like a fucking dumbass,” Drake’s accent was thicker than normal meaning he was truly upset. Mason couldn’t do anything about it.
Chapter Six
Sophia wiped her sweaty palms against the on her jean-covered thighs.
Billy grabbed her hand. “It’s going to be all right.”
“It’d be nice if something was,” Sophia mumbled. She couldn’t sleep and most nights Mason would come home and walk around the house like he’d lost his best friend. But the few times she tried to broach it with him, he’d tease her about their upcoming wedding and ask her about her red dress. Normally she’d have put her foot down and demanded answers, but she was too stressed about today.
“Sophia, why now? Why days before your wedding? I don’t understand?”
“I don’t quite get it either, Billy.”
Sophia fished the key to Frannie and Tony’s house out of her jean’s pocket. They were over at the food bank, and Frannie had told her the boxes were in a back bedroom she used for storage. She had warned the Andersons they were probably going to have to hunt for them since they would be buried under other ‘crap’ as she put it.
“I asked her if she wanted to be here when we went to her house but she really didn’t seem to care.”
“Of course, she didn’t, Soph. It isn’t like we’re going to jump on her beds.” Sophia giggled.
“Jump on her beds? Where do you come up with this stuff?”
“It’s why you love me.” Billy bumped her shoulder as they entered the house.
The back bedroom was easy to find.
“She wasn’t kidding about it being full of crap. How much stuff does one woman need?” Billy asked.
“Oh hush up and start looking. I marked all sides of the boxes, ‘Anderson’.”
“Thank God.”
Billy made quick work of moving boxes. When Sophia went in to help, he immediately told her to stop.
“I’ve got this. Just keep your eyes peeled.”
“Billy, I’m more than capable of lifting boxes.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t. But I would feel better if you’d let me do this.”
“You have been spending far too much time with Mason.”
After ten minutes she saw the boxes.
“There they are. Behind the fake Christmas tree.”
He was able to stack the two and maneuver his way to the door.
“Are you sure I can’t carry one to the van?” Sophia asked.
Billy lifted an eyebrow in response. Yep, he had definitely spent too much time with those damn SEALs, she thought with a laugh.
They headed over to the food bank to drop off the key.
“Did you find everything all right?” Frannie asked.
When Sophia didn’t immediately answer, Billy stepped in. “We found the boxes just fine.”
“Sophia, are you going to be all right?”
“Yes,” Sophia said automatically.
“Frannie, every time I ask Sophia why she’s so upset about the boxes, she says it’s nothing. But it’s obviously something. What is it?”
“Billy!” Sophia looked at her brother, more than a little surprised at his blunt question.
“Well, I want to know. Frannie was with you a lot when Mom was so sick. I wasn’t. I was with the Bards,” Billy said, referring to his foster family. “Honey, you went to the funeral with your sister, I remember you being so little. I can’t even fathom you being the same boy.” Billy looked uncomfortable. “That asshole of a father didn’t even come to your mom’s funeral, do you remember?”
“Frannie, let’s not rehash the past.” Sophia put her arm around Billy’s shoulder so they could go.
“The young man asked. Billy, do you remember how hard you were crying?” Sophia looked up at her brother, worried he would be upset, but Billy seemed to be looking inward trying to remember.
“I don’t remember a lot about that day. Tell me more.”
“You were about ten or eleven, and I swear if it were possible Sophia would have picked you up and held you in her arms. You were inconsolable. She never once cried, all of her attention was on you.” Frannie turned to Sophia.
“All of your care had been on everyone else. Your mother and then on fighting to get Billy. When did you take the time to mourn?”
“I mourned every day. You of all people should have seen I was a basket case,” Sophia protested.
“Are you out of your mind? You were a rock.” Sophia gave a short laugh.
“I don’t know who you saw, but I was barely coping.”
“And coped, and coped, and coped. That’s exactly what I’m talking about, girlie. You coped. You never once took time for yourself. Billy, you asked me a question. You wanted to know why Sophia is so upset about these boxes. This might be her first real moment to mourn.”
“I think you’re both blowing this way out of proportion. Here’s what really happened. Mason asked me why I didn’t have anything from my past. No old pictures of me as a child. He was right, I should have unpacked these boxes two years ago. That’s all. End of story.” She stared the two of them down daring them to say anything else.
“Sorry, sis, I was just worried.”
“Yeah, well don’t,” Sophia said.
Frannie frowned. “If you need me, you know where to find me.” She hugged both of them and whispered something in Billy’s ear.
“Are you mad at me?” Billy asked as they drove back to the house.
“Frustrated. Just frustrated. Seriously, Billy, I wished you would have taken me at my word.”
“You never do when I say ‘nothing.'” Sophia barked out a laugh.
“Okay, you win on that one. Look, I can’t even remember most of the things in the boxes, and it breaks my heart. How can mom’s life be distilled down to two boxes, and I can’t even remember what’s in them?”
“Don’t you mean our life?” Shit, the kid, was too smart for his own good.
“Let’s just get home.”
***
Billy had set the boxes in the living room, but Sophia had insisted they have an early lunch before opening them up. She wanted to dig into them before Mason got home but part of her would be fine waiting until after Billy graduated from high school.
“Come on Sophia. I remember there being some cool pictures of us. I would love to have those up on the mantle.”
He was right. She watched as he opened the first one. She had carefully wrapped everything in newspaper and then in tissue paper. She vaguely remembered doing that. Frannie had been right she hadn’t cried once. What would have been the point? Mom was gone, and her sole focus had been figuring a way to get Billy out of foster care and to live with her. She hadn’t had time for tears.
The first thing Billy unwrapped was a picture of their maternal grandparents at their wedding.
“Better check this out sis see if there is anything you need to do for your wedding.” Billy let out a big laugh. Sophia grabbed the picture frame out of his hand.
“Hey, this is beautiful,” she protested.
“You can barely see her she’s so covered up. And look at those suits. Mason is wearing his uniform right?” Sophia’s heart skipped. The
idea of seeing Mason in his dress whites took her breath away every time. “Earth to Sophia.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind.” Billy was taking the next couple of things out of the box and carefully opening them. They were obviously pictures. “This is the one of all of us at the Grand Canyon. I’m surprised Mom kept it.”
“She kept everything with the two of us in it. It didn’t matter if Dad was in the picture or not.” Sophia traced her finger over her mom’s face. She looked so vibrant in the photo. They got their smile from their mom. She took a deep breath.
“I think this box is nothing but pictures. Right?” Billy asked.
“Yep.”
“Hey look, there are two photo albums.”
“I completely forgot about those. Mom made those for us when she was getting sick at the end.”
“How could you forget? That doesn’t make any sense.” Billy shot her an almost accusing glance.
“I never told you how bad it got, are you sure you want to know? I guess if you look at your album, you’ll know.” Sophia let out a sigh. “Mom’s cancer went from her lungs to her brain. She had a lot of trouble remembering things. Doing things for herself.” Fuck, she didn’t want to tell Billy this, but he was already opening up the photo album that had his name on the front.
“Sophia, everything is crooked. It looks like a little kid put this together.” She watched as he turned the pages.
“It was the best she could do, Billy.”
“She put in every one of my class pictures, and they aren’t even in order. Her handwriting is so hard to read. Words are misspelled.”
As he turned another page, an envelope fluttered to the floor. It wasn’t sealed, and it had his name written on it. Even that was hard to read.
“Soph?”
“I didn’t know anything about this, Billy. If I had, I would have given it to you two years ago, I swear.”
He opened it, there was one lined sheet of paper. The words didn’t even manage to stay between the lines. Sophia read over Billy’s shoulder. There wasn’t much. Caroline Anderson was confused about the age of her son, that was clear, she wrote to him as if he were still in first or second grade.
She told him how much she loved him and how proud she was of him.
A SEAL's Vigilant Heart (Midnight Delta Book 8) Page 5