by A. M. Wilson
“I’m sorry, baby. You’re right. I’m just a little tense.”
She melted against my hand and sighed, her sexy pouty lips opened slightly as she wet them with her tongue. “Come inside. Let’s see if I can relieve some of that tension.”
I grinned at her and killed the engine. This Marlena shit had me all worked up and a nice lay would help me clear my head and figure out what to do next.
Katie was making everything so easy. Almost too easy. I didn’t know how I was so lucky to land such a valuable asset. She fucks good, too. After she helped me release some tension, Katie was blabbing about some documents she needed to forward to Marlena and that started an entire new round of beat the dead horse. How someone couldn’t realize their pettiness was beyond me, but Katie was a whole new breed. When she had exhausted her mouth, I sent her off to relax in the tub, which she was more than happy to oblige. I asked her which documents she needed to send and that I’d take care of it for her. Little pet didn’t bat an eye, rattled off the files, and left to the bathroom. It made me fucking happy that she didn’t give a damn about client confidentiality. Preston wasn’t running his business as well as he thought he was.
When I heard the tub running, I pulled my USB drive off my keychain and plugged the device into her laptop. When I had first started tracking down Preston’s movements two years ago, I had met some people in a forum who taught me a little bit about hacking. Several times now, I’d sent the embedded link through email, which would give me unrestricted access to Preston’s computer, but he never opened it. My guess was because he didn’t know who I was. However, now that I had my trusting little pet, I sent that link out from her computer and expected to have eyes and ears in Brooks and Boulder come Monday.
That was the original plan. I’ve made a slight adjustment.
My curiosity about Marlena cannot be stopped no matter how hard I’ve tried. If it’s true, if she’s really fucking Preston’s son, that just opened up a new world for me. If I can’t get in to Preston, I surely can get to him through his kid. Stealing back my girl in the process will feel oh, so fucking good.
Therefore, I decided to send my link to Marlena as well. Getting eyes and ears inside her apartment will only help me in the end. And I could keep an eye on my baby girl to make sure that bastard doesn’t hurt her.
A few hours later, my mind was still consumed with Marlena so I said goodbye to Katie and decided to check up on my girl. When I pulled up to her apartment and fired up my laptop with my Wi-Fi hotspot, pleasure consumed me when I saw she had already viewed the email I sent and clicked on the link. I had embedded it in a fake document, and when she clicked it, a blank web page would open. She would have had no idea.
I couldn’t help the excitement I felt. It’d been over three months with no contact, and even now, I’d only seen her two or three times. Having the access to watch her, unnoticed, for as long as I wanted was overpowering.
My hands shook slightly as I logged the command to pull up her webcam. The image before me showed her bedroom, a queen sized bed against the opposite wall, the window I used to watch her on the left side of my screen. A small lamp dimly lit the room, which was currently unoccupied. The picture was slightly distorted, blurry; her quality of camera wasn’t very good, but it would do.
From my peripheral, I noticed from her window that the bedroom light clicked on the same moment my screen brightened. She was home.
And she wasn’t alone.
My eyes trained to the screen as Marlena came into view, her hand tightly grasping his hand. Preston’s son—Elias. My skin flushed as I watched him appear, sweeping Marlena up tightly into his arms. He grasped the back of her head as he kissed her. She clutched at his shoulders as if she couldn’t get close enough. She used to grab me like that.
She used to fucking grab me like that.
Anger rose within me like the crest of a wave, but I couldn’t look away. Elias backed her up towards the bed, and I felt my cock grow stiff, even though I didn’t want it to. Something was so erotic about watching him exert his power over her while I looked on undetected. Is this how Marlena felt when she walked in on me screwing Christina? I bet she did. I bet she went home and rubbed herself while thinking about it.
My head dropped against the headrest, and I shifted in my seat. Marlena’s head rolled back as if she were panting and Elias peeled her shirt over her head. I found myself cheering for him to take her bra off, to show me her perfectly round tits. Like a spectator at a sporting event, I couldn’t stop myself from cheering for my team. Marlena was my team, and I’d do just about anything to see her body, which apparently included watching someone else strip her. He granted my wish as he tore her bra away from her naked torso, her breasts bared to me. I groaned as I rubbed myself through my pants.
I typed in a new command to record the feed before me so I could view it again later.
Marlena grabbed his hand and brought it up to her chest and jealousy flared through me. But with that jealousy was a shot of searing pleasure straight to my crotch. I couldn’t take it any longer. I wasn’t even close to sated after having Katie tonight, and this was just torture. This was the most bittersweet sexual experience of my life.
When Elias bent down to take her nipple into his mouth, I pulled myself from my jeans and fisted my hard length in my hand. I was ashamed and angry but too turned on to give a shit.
God. I closed my eyes for a moment and remembered what it felt like to run my hands along her silky skin.
I stroked myself faster.
She had smelled like vanilla and peaches. I could still recall her scent as if it was wrapped around me yesterday. My eyes opened, and I gazed upon the scene taking place in front of me.
Marlena’s face held a look of pure pleasure, her fingers threaded through Elias’s hair while he continued to play with her tits.
A darkness settled over me. The air became thick and heavy with violence and regret. He isn’t in there. I am. She’s running her fingers through my hair. Her moans filled my ears as I ran my tongue over one nipple, and then the other. Her body shuddered beneath me when I sunk my teeth into her soft, tender flesh. She’s mine. She belongs to me.
My grunts met my ears as I stroked myself at a punishing pace; my hips coming up to meet my hand with each thrust. Sweat dotted my forehead as I thrust faster and harder, begging to find my release and needing this done. The shame was beginning to well up inside of me.
If I’d had the sound on, Marlena’s voice would have filled my car with a cry of pleasure as Elias slid his hand into the front of her pants. As I watched her eyes go round and her mouth open slightly, imagining it was me slipping my hand into her pants to cup her warm, wet heat, I came hard; my release spilling all over my hand.
Finally sated, yet filled with utter disgust and self-loathing, I felt filthy. My need for Marlena had overcome my hatred for Elias, and I let myself take pleasure from him. From what he was doing to my girl. I slammed my computer closed and tossed on the seat beside me. My fists pounded against the steering wheel in rage. Marlena was mine. She belonged to me, and I needed her back. It wasn’t until now that I realized my mission took on a new purpose the moment I saw her at that law firm. This wasn’t only about taking down Preston. Now it was about saving Marlena too before that family could do anything to damage her. Because with the history they have, they would damage her. It was inevitable.
I could kill two birds with one stone, I thought as I tore out of the parking space, headed back to my studio apartment. What better way to damage someone than steal the woman he loves? I would know. I had done it to myself.
CHAPTER TWELVE
After work on Wednesday, I pick up Carly, and we head to the grocery store. Elias’s birthday is on Saturday, and I decided I want to cook dinner for him. He didn’t want to make plans after I told him I don’t like to celebrate my own birthday. This was the best compromise I could get him to agree to.
It’s been two weeks since the bar incident and Kat
ie’s confrontation. She hasn’t said more than five words to me since, choosing to send all messages through email instead of verbal communication. Fine by me. It’s not as if we had much correspondence at work anyways. When I left work the other day, I did see Travis hanging around by her desk. Although, they were so wrapped up in each other I doubt he saw me.
My question about if he knows I work there is still left unanswered. Those two cold, heartless people sure do make one perfectly fucked up couple, but at least they’re minding their own business.
I also haven’t seen the blue Impala parked outside my apartment, my work, or any other place I frequent since the day we spoke to the police. I really hope Travis took my threat of the restraining order seriously.
We wander the aisles, filling the cart with items on the list I prepared this morning. Lacking superb cooking skills, I decided to make him steak, twice-baked potatoes, and fresh steamed green beans. Carly picks out a bottle of wine because wine connoisseur I am not.
“So, what do you have in store for Saturday night? Besides dinner that is,” she asks with a sexy purr in her voice, throwing a bag of chips into the cart.
“What the hell are these for?” I ask, grabbing the chips. I turn to place them back on the shelf when she abruptly rips them out of my hands.
“They’re for me, thank you very much. I’m on my period. Think of it as payment for helping you grocery shop.
“Gee, if I would have known that I would be fulfilling your munchies, I would have left you at home,” I tease. She tosses the bag back into the cart.
“Answer my damn question, lady.”
“What are you, sixteen? Why are you so damn interested in my sex life?”
“Because he’s sexy, and I’m living vicariously through you.” She plucks a jar of onion dip to go with her chips and adds it to the pile. I can’t help but snort at her.
“Good luck. I’m not one to kiss and tell. You of all people should know that.” Sighing, I give in to her persistence. “But to answer your original question, I’m planning on…something. I just haven’t decided yet.”
We steer the cart towards the meat counter. She lets out a girlish squeal, clapping her hands together as she jumps up and down.
“Oh goody! We should totally go shopping after this! You need some new lingerie.”
Inwardly, I sigh and roll my eyes, then glance at my watch. “Let’s get this shopping finished up then. We’ll have to bring it home before we hit the mall, and it’s already 7 o’clock.” Maybe some new lingerie will help to quell my nerves about Saturday. Confidence comes from feeling sexy, right?
My phone buzzes while I’m in the checkout line, and the smile that comes at reading Elias’s name is unstoppable.
-Elias: What time r u planning on coming to my place Saturday?
-Me: Five. Dinner and set up will take about 2 hours. I want u there at seven, please.
-Elias: K. Made plans with Sin until then. U have a key to my place.
Saturday comes quickly, and I find myself feeling fidgety and nervous all day. I clean my apartment, twice, even though we are having dinner at his place. Anything to relieve the stress I’m feeling now. Grabbing my keys, I head outside for a walk around the neighborhood. The fresh air helps to clear my head and bring my anxiety down a notch.
The afternoon is crisp with a slight damp scent from the early morning rain. Trees are starting to bud in this late April warmth. People are beginning to emerge from their homes where they spent most of the cold Minnesota winter hiding. I pass a man jogging with earphones in, a woman pushing her baby in a stroller, and an elderly couple walking like me, all enjoying the nice weather.
My feet tap the pavement in a steady rhythm while I think. I needed time to make sure I was truly ready for a relationship and not still trying to eradicate the memory of Travis by using Elias as a buffer. Sure, the night at the club, I used Elias as a deterrent, but that was the only time. There isn’t a doubt in my entire being; I’ve eliminated Travis from my mind, my heart, and my life.
And Elias is there, has been from the very beginning. He’s patient and understanding, kind and considerate. He has secrets, but that’s natural.
With the demise of my last relationship, I realized something. No matter how I act, I cannot control the other person. If they’re going to cheat, they’ll cheat. If they’re the type of person to lash out with words or strike with fists, they will. Nothing I say or do will change that. Certain actions may slow it down, but the train will still be barreling toward its destination. I made a decision to live freely and love fiercely. Part of that decision was opening myself fully, spilling the secrets, and trusting with my entire self. I laid my past out for Elias, and in doing so, I opened myself up to trust that when he’s ready, he’ll share his with me.
Tonight is about Elias. About proving to him how much I want him, how thankful I am he was unrelenting in his pursuit of me. Tonight is about opening myself up to the possibility of loving him, and letting him love me.
***
Unlocking his apartment door with one hand, I use the other to drag my groceries, purse, and overnight bags inside, kicking the door shut with my foot. A bright yellow splash of color against the normally stark white walls catches in my peripheral. Making my way through the bags over to the table, I see bright yellow sunflowers scattered about and a red note nestled between two flowers catches my eye.
I live for the days I can smell you on my skin. When your touch makes my pulse race. I may not have always been a good man, but for you, I want to be the best. Every sweet song, I sing for you. When I fall asleep, I dream of you. You’ve taught me what it means to truly miss something, because when we’re apart, I miss you something fierce. I’ll be home soon. -E
I think my heart just melted into a puddle within my chest.
Clutching the note in my hand, I unpack my grocery bags, loading perishables into the refrigerator, and set about getting dinner started. I pull my laptop out in case I need to consult a recipe and place it on the counter. The note is left propped up against the knife block, and I can’t help but reread it every few minutes.
If you asked me a year ago, I would have never guessed this is where I’d be right now. I’m working a job that I truly enjoy, having time to spend with my friends, dating an amazing, sweet, caring man who I’m starting to fall for a little bit each day. I can feel it deep within my core; he’s starting to chip away at the steel walls I placed around my heart for protection, peeling away the layers of self-preservation with every look, touch, and kiss. True happiness, untainted by fear and compliance, has not been present in my life for a very long time, and I’m reveling in the feeling. The thought that I am a bright spot in someone’s life is so foreign to me; it takes work to remind myself that I am worth it. Travis took away from me every ounce of self-control and confidence that it stripped me bare. I will never let myself be in that position again.
Once I have the food started, potatoes in the oven and steaks set out after marinating all day, I pass through his bedroom into the bathroom to get ready. Carly talked me into buying a new matching lingerie set. The bra is lacy and slightly see through with a matching thong, both a blood red. I slip them on and pull a light colorful sundress over the top. It’s warm enough in here to forgo a cover up, leaving my shoulders bare. With curls in my hair, I pile it loosely on top of my head, securing it with bobby pins, letting a few tendrils hang down around my face.
Even though my cooking skills are mediocre at best, I somehow manage to pull off perfectly cooking two steaks, and my potatoes come out beautifully. It’s a few minutes before seven, so I dash off to the bathroom quickly to freshen up, spritz on some Harvey Prince perfume, and touch up my make-up. My cell starts ringing in the other room and grabs my attention. I tear out of the bathroom, and down the hall, hoping it’s not Elias held up somewhere. Catching it on its final ring, I hold it to my ear without checking the caller I.D.
“Hello?” My voice is tight, breathless.
“Hey Chickie, just checking in to see if you burned his apartment down yet,” Carly’s voice is unexpected, but somewhat welcome, on the other end of the line.
“Whatever, I’m a fantastic cook.” With one eye trained on the clock on the stove, I lean back against the countertop. Carly snorts at me.
“You set off the fire alarm making a grilled cheese the last time you tried to cook. I remember showing up to your apartment with thick smoke billowing out of your kitchen.”
“Exaggerate much? It wasn’t that much smoke. I got distracted. My meal tonight looks glorious,” I sigh. “I only hope it doesn’t get cold before he gets here.”
“I’m sure he’ll be there soon. It’s only, what, five after seven?” I’m glad she’s being positive because my palms are starting to sweat. Crossing over to the table, I start to finger the cloth napkins I laid out earlier.
“Yeah. I guess I’m just nervous. I should go. I don’t want to be on the phone when he walks in.”
“Why? You servin’ your naked ass on a platter?”
“Very funny, smartass.”
“Okay. Take a deep breath. Enjoy your dinner, and most especially, dessert.” With a brief giggle, she hangs up.
He’s now ten minutes late, so I pick up the phone and write him a short text asking if everything is okay. He said he would be with Sin, but I have no idea where they went. He’s probably stuck in traffic somewhere. Or so I tell myself.
Wandering over to his stereo, I flip through his CD collection to put on some quiet music. Finding a jazz mix, I pluck it from the shelf and slip it into the player, turning it on softly. The music is calming, although, below the surface, my nerves are buzzing to life. I try to focus on the soft melody of the sax, the smooth blare of the trumpet. The familiar anxiety is souring my gut as I watch the clock tick further and further past the hour.