by S. L. Scott
“Would you like to meet now?”
“I know it’s late. I hate to bother you now. I actually stopped by to talk to Luke regarding a few scenes.”
Not liking the direction of this, I walk over and direct her back to the door. “Why don’t we go to my office to discuss those scenes? Ian was just about to leave.”
He pipes up, “I’m good for a bit longer. I think I just got a second wind. Why don’t we stay at the conference table to discuss them?”
Her eyes go from me to him and back again waiting for me to respond. “It’s fine.”
“Thanks,” she replies, taking a seat.
He takes his seat again as she settles in the chair across from him and I sit at the head of the table. Not liking his obvious attention to her, I change seats to sit next to her as she pulls the script from her bag. Only Jane Lewis has the power to make jealousy rear its ugly head in me. “What scenes do you want to go over?”
The script is tapped on the table and laid flat in front of us. She points to something on the page, but I’m still staring at her. Damn, she’s beautiful. Is her hair lighter? She’s wearing more makeup than she usually does and it makes me wonder where she’s been today.
“Luke?” My eyes meet hers and a soft smile appears. “The script.”
Caught. Her copy of the script is coded like mine, the same colorful tabs hanging out the sides and top. It makes me miss the nights we’d lain in bed, working alongside each other. We would stay up until all hours debating and working out scenes until they came together, until we came together.
God, I took everything for granted back then.
I took her for granted.
“What do you think?” she asks.
My eyes lift to hers again, responding to my name spoken from her mouth that sounds more like a melody than used in a professional meeting. “What?”
Ian cuts in, “There’s this park in Austin that can double as an entrance to Central Park. We can keep the scene if you think it’s vital.”
She replies with conviction, “I think it matters to the story, to her character growth.”
“Done. We’ll keep it,” he replies easily, as if budgets don’t matter and he has the final say.
Thanks, Ian. Now I have to be the bad guy. “We can’t guarantee that. It’s not in our budget currently so I’ll propose it to the other producers and let them go over the numbers. Are you willing to cut something else to make this scene happen?”
Holding the script to her chest, she shakes her head. “I don’t want to if we can make it work.”
I nod, not wanting to disappoint her. “We’ll try. What other scenes?”
We spend the next forty-five minutes discussing tweaks and changes, little things that add to the visuals and setting of the scenes. I love that she dreams in such vivid color, her world and the sky always one in the same. She’s enchanted me wholeheartedly as I see the woman I loved—love—so fiercely reemerge as if she’s been asleep for years. She’s animated, and playful, laughing, and smiling.
The problem is—Ian is enchanted too, hanging on to every word she speaks as if it’s gospel sent to save his soul. When she stands to leave, he offers to walk her to her car, beating me to the punch.
Cocky asshole.
As we walk out of the building, I look across the parking lot and see her car next to mine, and I smirk. Right when I’m about to say something, Ian interrupts my reunion with Jane again, and says, “I’m starving. Want to grab some dinner and we can continue our chat?”
I’m left gobsmacked by his fucking nerve. Apparently Ian, who was tired earlier, has all the energy in the world now. Because of Jane.
And when I hear her say, “Yes,” to him, I’m left with an overwhelming jealousy twisting in my chest causing it to puff. Fuck him and his private plans with my Jane. “I could use a drink,” I interrupt like he has so much tonight.
Ian shoots me a look that lets me know I’m not welcome to join their little party of two. Fortunately Jane smiles and says, “Great. I can meet you both there.” And just like that, all is right in the world again.
While Ian huffs toward his car nearby, I catch up to her. “I can walk you.”
“I’m glad I caught you tonight. I feel a lot better about things.”
Caught. Caught me lost in the sea green of her eyes, the petal pink of her lips… She caught me all right.
“I will support this project” I will support you. “I’ll keep your vision as much as I can.” When we reach her car, I stop a few steps back as she leans against the door of a new BMW. “Nice car.”
Glancing back at it, her shoulders have eased, either from the late hour or because she’s comfortable around me. I’m hoping for the latter. “Thanks.” Her hair has fallen in front of one of her eyes. Instinctually, I reach out as if I have the right, and tuck it behind her ear. Her eyes don’t leave mine, her hands don’t protest, and she remains standing there, looking at me with eyes that if I didn’t know better reflect my own feelings toward her.
But I do know better.
She’s engaged.
She’s not one I can have those feelings for any longer. When she sealed her future with Lawrence she sealed my fate as well. Fuck.
With our romantic fate determined, I blow a breath, and step back again. “I’ll see you in a few.”
“Hey, Luke, maybe we can ride together?”
She catches me again. This time I’m smiling ear to ear. I nod toward my car, hope returning too fast to be healthy. But I’d rather feel this than disappointment. “C’mon, you, I’ll drive.”
CHAPTER 6
~Luke~
I LIKE JANE in my car.
In my space.
In my life.
I like how close we are in proximity and how her elbow still hogs the console between us, just like old times. It’s moments like these that give me hope when I shouldn’t build up any expectation.
I can’t.
Just enjoy the time we have together, I remind myself.
Jane reaches forward and changes the radio station. “Make yourself at home,” I tease.
“I will. Thanks,” she responds with a mischievous smile on her face as she presses another button. Keith Urban’s latest comes roaring out the speakers and I immediately reach to turn it down, my hand covering Jane’s.
An accident, a happy accident that wipes the smile right off my face. Our connection deeper than surface. I want to keep my hand there…
I shouldn’t.
But she remains still, no smile on her face either. She gulps and though I hear it, I won’t say anything because there’s tension in my throat as well. Unsure what to do, I turn the music back up and put my hands at ten and two. Jane, maintaining the unspoken emotions between us, sits back and looks out the window.
Clearing my throat, I turn the music down again. “I didn’t know you liked country music?”
“I do.”
“Did you…” I don’t finish the question, realizing if her answer is yes, it will only make me look bad for not knowing. I don’t remember her liking country, like ever, but I won’t call her out on it because I like when she’s not defensive. This is about self-protection mode. I don’t want to ruin what we are rebuilding. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.
“I didn’t when we were together. I’ve been trying new things in the last year or so. Country is easy to listen to, light for the most part. There are some real tearjerker songs out there, but I like the happier songs. Nothing sad for me these days.”
“I guess when things are going great there’s no reason to drag them down.” I feel sick to my stomach for what I’m about to say, but I know it’s only right. I take a deep breath and do it. “Congratulations on your engagement.”
She looks at me bewildered. Her hand is holding the seatbelt away from her neck and she’s staring at me. I glance back to the road and then to her again. “Thank you,” she whispers as her eyes well with tears, an inner turmoil brewing in them. She turns away suddenly.
<
br /> I have no idea why she looks so upset. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” She pauses. “You’re saying and doing everything right. Why is that?”
“Because I’ve already done everything wrong when it comes to us.”
Her expression falls, her eyelids lower, and her hand momentarily blocks her face from my line of vision. I hear her sniffle, and then she asks, “Can we not talk about this right now?”
Pulling into the parking lot of the bar, I give her what she wants. “No need to revisit the past when you have your whole future planned out.”
Jane’s head snaps to look at me as quick as her tongue. “What does that mean?”
I cut the engine on my silver Porsche, and turn to her, surprised by her question. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t have my whole future planned out. That would be… boring.”
“I thought you wanted stability and predictability? The white picket fence and the two-point-five kids?”
“I don’t.” She’s shaking her head as if that will offer a different meaning to the words.
Now I’m confused. By the way she’s wrapping her arms over her chest, I can tell I’ve upset her and I don’t want that. “Whatever I did to upset you, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”
She struggles for a moment, her expression one of anguish. “No, you don’t need to apologize. I just think you don’t understand.”
“According to you, I never did, so this should not come as a surprise,” I joke to lighten the moment back up.
The door opens and she swings her legs out. “I think we should go inside. Ian will be waiting.”
The door is slammed shut before I have a chance to respond. We were onto something, something real that needed to happen with us and she leaves, like she did before. Now I’m irritated. Stepping out quickly, I shut my door and call over the roof, “You don’t get to control this anymore.”
“Control what?” she asks defensively from the other side of the car. Exactly what I didn’t want.
“Us, and how we in interact.”
“There is no us,” she clarifies quite concisely. “We’re broken, remember?”
“Up,” I correct.
“Up what?”
“You said we’re broken. I said up. We’re broken up.”
“Yes, that’s what I meant.”
“But it’s not what you said.”
“God, Luke, don’t be ridiculous.” Jane starts for the bar, but I catch up.
“Ridiculous? Is that what you think of me now?”
Spinning on the balls of her feet, facing me, she positions herself higher, and says, “I don’t think that at all, which is exactly the problem.”
“How is that—” Realization dawns on me, and my mouth closes… She still cares.
She still cares more than she has let on.
With the seconds growing heavier, and our gazes locked in a standoff, I let her off the hook because I can see the toll it’s taking on her. And I just don’t want to see her cry. “Let’s go inside. I’ll buy you a beer.”
Silently she turns away, and whispers, “I might need something stronger tonight.”
“I’m great at something stronger. Come on.” I wrap my arm over her shoulders and pull her to me, keeping her safe and squeezing her, trying to keep it platonic. I’m sure she’s onto me. But she feels so right tucked under my arm. When she smiles, I release her. One of the hardest things I’ve done in a while, but I don’t want to blow what we just healed. There’s too much damage from the past to deal with to add more to it.
Inside, Ian is sitting at a booth near the back exit. I follow Jane through the crowd, wishing I could come up with something to keep us alone, but he’s already seen us and is staring at her like something he wants to devour. I grab the back belt loop of her jeans and she jolts to a stop in front of me. Looking over her shoulder at me, she’s shocked at first until our eyes meet. Then she smiles. “You used to always wrap your arm around my waist and hold me by the belt loop.”
Yes, memories that make her smile are always good memories, and even better reminders. I acted on instinct with her alone, claiming her the only way I can. She asks, “Did you stop me for a reason?”
I have a million regrets and a thousand reasons, but I don’t have the right to put my burdens on her. “No… well, maybe. I just wanted to say it’s good to see you again.”
Fuck. I sound like an idiot. It’s good to see you again? What the hell?
She laughs lightly. “It’s good to see you too, Luke.”
When my fingers unwind, she goes to him as I stand and watch the only woman I will ever love walk away from me again.
This will never get easier.
Jane sits on the inside leaving a seat next to her open. I take it before Ian can because obviously I’m an asshole like that. Ian moves to the inside so he’s across from her and they start talking. He uses the movie as an excuse to lean in as if it’s top-secret stuff, as if it’s the most important thing he’s ever been a part of. Maybe it is. It’s not for me because Jane was once my most important thing. Before I blew it.
Two rounds of drinks later and my mood is lighter despite Ian getting handsy. Jane has let him paw her wrist twice, her fingers once, and fix the chain on her necklace telling her to make a wish. I almost had to excuse myself to puke. Instead, I roll my eyes. He’s so fucking transparent and has no respect for her or her fiancé. I stand before I say something I shouldn’t. “I’m gonna throw some darts.”
Jane looks up. “I love darts. Can I join you?”
“Sure. My treat.” Ha! Take that, Ian!
Ian’s phone rings, and I smile. Perfect timing. He says, “I’ve got to take this. I’ll be over after.”
We don’t wait. After getting the darts from the bartender, I head to the dartboard. “Ladies choice.”
She chooses the red darts, leaving me the blue. “Can I go first?” she asks.
“Yep, you sure can.”
Stepping up to the line, she squints one eye while holding the dart in front of her. I can already tell she’s going to hit the backboard, but she’s completely adorable trying so I let her do it her way. She throws and it bounces off the wood. “Damn it,” she curses.
Two more darts are thrown and one sticks. That makes her happy, in turn, making me as well. She was always competitive and too hard on herself, but never a poor sport. “Your turn.”
I step up and aim, throwing and hitting on the inside near the bull’s-eye.
A little elbow nudge to my ribs gets my attention. She says, “You were always too good at everything. Not much has changed.”
Not everything… Not the things that truly mattered. Still matter now. But I don’t say that. “Nope,” I reply. “Not much has changed.”
The way she leans close to me, joy in her eyes as she looks up at me, sweet, pink lips, and matching cheeks. Damn. She’s a dart to my heart, hitting bull’s-eye every time.
It’s her turn again. Her body is stiff and she’s biting the inside of her cheek, taking it so seriously.
“Relax,” I say. “Let your arm move naturally, but keep your wrist firm.” I touch her at the shoulder and lift her elbow with the other hand. “Like this. Keep your wrist straight. Try that.” She moves her forearm back and forth a few times, then peeks up at me. “That feels good.”
I’m not sure if she’s talking about the darts or the way I’m holding her. I’d love to stay just like this, but it’s going to be bordering on awkward if I keep touching her, so I release her and she throws the dart. Laughter comes out in a wave of excitement when her dart lands near the center. Her hands on my shoulders and she’s jumping up and down. “We did it! That’s amazing.”
My hands find her waist, supporting her small frame as she celebrates. Any other time…
“Amazing.” If this was any other time and she wasn’t engaged and we were together, I’d kiss her. Okay, fine, I’d kiss her if we weren’t together too, but engaged, no, I won’t
cross that line.
She releases me, but I don’t release her, not yet, our eyes steady on the other’s. Her voice is calm and her smile engaging. “It’s amazing how just one small change makes all the difference.”
Again, I’m not sure if she’s talking about darts, or us.
I say, “I’m sor—”
“I’m sorry for the delay. Who’s winning?” Ian asks.
Jane holds our gaze a second longer then turns, my skin still alive though her hand has left me. Pushing a thumb my direction, she laughs. “Luke kicked my ass.”
Ian steps up with a cocky grin. “C’mon, Luke. You and me for the championship.”
“Sure.”
When Jane returns with the darts from the board, she hands them over, and stretches to grab her purse. “I’m gonna take off.”
Darts instantly forgotten, Ian says, “I’ll drive you back to your car then.”
“Thank you, but I can take a cab back.” Her giggle expresses her mood. “Stay and show Luke who is boss.”
My mood is of a different emotion now, turning on a dime as soon as she said she was leaving.
Ian jokes, “No problem there.”
“Ha ha,” I add, trying to play along when all I want to do is brood about our night coming to an end. When I turn, Ian is behind me, Jane in front, I whisper, “I’ll drive you.”
“That’s okay. Finish the game. I still have some work to do when I get home.”
I nod, and as she walks away, she says, “Goodnight, guys. Thanks for the drinks, Luke.”
We both watch her go. She’s not even out the door when Ian says, “That woman is too fine for her own good. She’s going to be a major distraction on set.”
I turn to him and break the news. “She’s engaged.”
“Really?” His brow knits. “That sucks.”
“Yeah,” I say, nodding. “It really does.”
He grabs his pint glass and drinks not seeming to think twice about the woman he was hitting on all night. Just another asshole using women for only one thing. I might resemble that remark. But Jane’s different. I won’t let him use her. She’s too good for him. Hell, she’s too good for me. When he sets his drink down, he picks up the darts, and stands on the line. “After I warm up, we’re on.”