by C. L. Stone
I lay on top of him, my hood down on my initiate uniform. We could see each other clearly even as I cried in pain.
“Oh, hell.” McQueen grabbed my shoulders. “Are you okay? You just saved my life. Oh no, it hit you.”
“I …” I don’t know what I would have said. I was hauled off the man by two of the sisters. I couldn’t put weight on my foot, but it didn’t stop them from bringing out the stick and caning my back while I tried to balance on the one I could still use.
They yelled about how inappropriate I was, how I was a disgrace, and they dragged me backwards. I’d failed the test given to me by the universe. Apparently they thought I should have let the man die rather than touch him and say one word in the meantime.
The bigger of the two Sisters went for another strike when the stick was pulled out of her hands. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? She just saved my life. She’s injured. Help her. Or give her to me, and I’ll do it. You want to hit someone? Hit me.”
“Mr. McQueen.” Sister Sovereign’s voice boomed around us. My foot throbbed, my back hurt, and all I wanted in the universe was something for the pain. I looked up to meet the gaze of the man who stared back at me in horror. He was incredibly handsome, and I hated him completely. Why had he come here? Why had this happened?
She continued, “We do things differently here. Paloma Devereaux knows exactly what she did and what will happen to her now. Goodbye Mr. McQueen. Never come here again.”
I woke up later, flat on my stomach in my small cell. My back burned and my ankle throbbed. They’d clearly not put me in the medical machine after forcing me to drink the knock-out juice. I would place money on them beating me again after I was unconscious.
Everything hurt.
I closed my eyes. I’d never get public privileges again. The next year was going to be hell.
I hated Mr. McQueen.
I hoped I never saw him again.
****
Three weeks later, I pulled weeds from the garden while I waited for the call to meditation. I didn’t feel particularly drawn to the meditation, but it was better than hauling up the endless plants in the back of the property in my Initiate uniform, which included two petticoats made out of wool. I was going to sweat to death.
“Hey,” A deep voice called my attention, and I looked up, utter horror travelling down my spine. It was Mr. McQueen. He was back, and he’d brought three other men with him. They were all roughly the same height, although one of them stood slightly over the other three.
The tall one had strong features and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. His brown hair curled slightly on his head. He wore a green t-shirt and a pair of jeans. A tattoo of something serpentine curled on his left arm.
He looked at Mr. McQueen who stood on the other side of him to the left. To their right, two other men, maybe slightly younger, waited as well. They had a very similar look but weren’t identical, although other people might think they were if they only gave the two of them a cursory glance. The one all the way to the left had blonder hair and a slightly longer face. He was dressed much more casually than Mr. McQueen and his tall friend, wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a blue t-shirt displaying a logo I didn’t recognize. In the middle, the fourth guy had jeans and a white t-shirt. They were all staring at me.
Were they trying to get me killed? What fresh hell had the Sisters sent me? I dropped my gaze fast to the grass.
“Ms. Devereaux,” the tallest one spoke. “My name is Thomas McQueen. Tommy is, ah, fine. This is so weird with you not looking at me. I’m here to thank you for saving my brother’s life. We have been very concerned for you. He tells us they beat you rather severely and you were already hurt. I’ve been watching you for an hour or so. I can see you’re favoring a leg, which makes me think maybe it hasn’t healed exactly right. None of us are doctors, but we know one. I … ah … I’ve come to see if you’d like to come with us now. The four of us will break you out and take you wherever you want to go.”
I risked a look up then around. There was no one to see them talking to me. What was the worst that could happen? I knew the Sisters wouldn’t kill me. If they wanted to, they’d have done so long ago. They couldn’t charge my father for my room and board if I died.
“You’re all brothers?” I whispered my response.
Thomas nodded. “That’s right. I’m Thomas. You’ve met Clay. You saved his life. And those two are the twins, Keith and Quinn.”
They all nodded to me, Keith’s eyes kinder than Quinn’s but both of them pleasant.
“I am okay.” I didn’t know these men. The one thing I’d learned in my time with the Sisters was the universe was hard, unfair, uninterested in being kind to me, and I had nothing to offer of any use to anyone or anything. I was still going to figure out something to do when I got out. If I went with these strangers, something worse would happen to me.
“You’re obviously not.” Thomas looked up at the sky. “Look, I explained to my brothers that you people do this on purpose. You come here to become something you want to be. You might even ask for the beating.”
“Can anyone ask for a beating?” I shouldn’t have spoken, and I winced when I did. What was the matter with me?
“In certain circumstances, beatings can be consensual. In sex, for example.” Quinn answered.
“Quinn, don’t help.” Thomas rolled his eyes.
Now that I knew they were all brothers, I could absolutely see the resemblance. They were all handsome, and they needed to be gone.
The call to meditation came out over the speakers. Everyone would be occupied for a few minutes. I stood.
“Are you trying to get me killed? I don’t want to be here, but I have been for five years and will be for one more. I’ve already taken a beating for saving your life,” I addressed Clay directly. “I appreciate your concern, but there’s no way you can make this better by doing anything but getting out of here before you’re caught.”
Keith put his hand out like he wanted me take it. “We won’t hurt you. No one will beat you if you come with us. We have shuttles. We can take you wherever you want to go.”
“I have nowhere to go.” My first conversation with men in five years, and I wanted to cry. A tear slipped out before I could stop it, and I wiped it away. Keith dropped his hand, his face falling. “I’ve been disowned. They think I’m a very bad person. I have one more year to go here before I can figure out where I can go or who will have me. Please be on your way.”
Thomas bent his neck to look me straight in the eyes. “I’ve known very bad people. The worst possible. You are not one of them. If you need to get out of here, we live four hours north of here by foot. If you can find a ride, that’s better. We won’t be here after winter comes. Our cabin is on top of a hill called Wallace Hill. It’s the only one there. If you hit a village called Grayland, they’ll know where it is. Come if you need us. Otherwise, we’ll leave you alone.”
“Tommy,” Clay spoke for the first time. “I don’t think I can leave her here. I don’t think I can. She’s basically being held against her will. They beat her. I … I …”
Thomas put a hand on his arm. “She’s declined our help.”
“Seems to be happening a lot,” Quinn answered.
I ran-limped back toward the compound. I couldn’t be caught with them. I didn’t want my food privileges cut in half.
That night, I had a dream where four lovely men with the bluest eyes rivaling the sky kissed me and held me while I held onto them like they were the most important beings in the universe. In their arms, I swore I could, for the first time, feel the Universe move.
My days fell back to normal. I didn’t regain anything I lost, but my body healed, slower than I’d have liked. I pretended to meditate and fed the poor when they came to our doors, the only part of my life I actually liked.
When the ground shook, I thought I’d imagined it. The boom that followed threw me backwards as the walls around us caught on fire. The Sisters screa
med and ran for the doors. I wanted to follow, but Sister T’Qui’s robes went up in flames. No one was helping her. I grabbed a blanket, putting out the heat while she screamed in utter agony. I wasn’t big, but I wasn’t small either. I grabbed her by her shoulders, even knowing she was in utter pain, and dragged her to the front of the campus. Bombs were going off. From the sky.
What was happening? Why would anyone bomb this place of all places? A bunch of women in prayer all day?
I didn’t have time to figure it out. The Sisters had all huddled in a corner with their Initiates. That looked like a terrible idea. They needed to run; they needed to be not so obvious to whomever wanted to hurt them. I screamed for them to move. Either they didn’t hear me or they didn’t care.
If weapons were cognizant, I would swear the bombs saw them too. I dropped to my knees as the women I hadn’t liked but had lived with for the last four years died before my eyes. Sister T’Qui wasn’t moving; her eyes were open as she stared at nothing, her eyes now unseeing.
With nothing else to do, I ran.
I must have run the entire night. Thomas had said to go north, and I did. They were strangers. They’d offered to help. Maybe they would now. I didn’t know where to tell them to send me. But anywhere had to be better than here.
I was cold, wet, covered in ash and blood. There was nothing between the Sisterhood and Grayland. I reached the town in the middle of the night. No one was around to ask about the McQueens, but I didn’t need any assistance. I saw a lit cabin atop the hill. I stumbled toward it and managed to knock once before I fell over.
The door swung open, and the twins stood over me. They seemed to react all at once; Keith pulled me into his arms while Quinn touched my forehead.
“Paloma.” Quinn moved out of the way to bring me inside. “Clay and Tommy made their way to the Sisterhood to look for you, to see if they could help. I’m so happy you came here. Put her on the couch, Keith.”
“That’s what I’m doing, Quinn.” He didn’t, exactly. Keith sat on the couch with me in his arms. I wasn’t going to complain. I shook so much I might fall if he put me down. “Are you hurt? She’s shaking really badly.”
Quinn nodded once. “I’m going to get ahold of the doctor. Keep her there with you.”
“Not going anywhere.”
Keith smoothed his hand over my cheek. “Does it hurt anywhere?”
“Everywhere. I’m sorry to put you out. I had nowhere to go. I didn’t know what to do.”
He shook his head gently. “This was what you should have done.”
The door swung open with a bang. Thomas and Clay strode into the room, both looking worse for the wear. Seeing me, they stopped.
“Oh thank the universe.” Clay dropped to his knees in front of me. “She’s here. Everyone is dead there. No one lived. They got everyone. And all I could think about was her. How we left her there.”
Thomas walked to the other side of the couch. “How badly is she hurt?”
“Quinn went for the doctor. She’s shaking badly.” He held me even closer. “I think it’s getting better.”
I tried to sit up, and Keith stopped me. I didn’t like being flat on my back while Thomas glared at me. Around him, I imagined I would always want to be at my best.
“I was j-j-just saying I am so s-s-sorry to bring this to you. I had nowhere else to go. They’re all dead. They all blew up.”
Thomas stroked my head. “I’m enormously glad you came here. Clay was a wreck thinking of you. The twins were worried. It’s good for us to know where you are and that you didn’t die, so that’s a good thing.”
He let go of my hair and stepped away. “Now the question is, what to do with you.”
“Not tonight, damn it, Tommy.” Clay sat down, picking up my legs and placing them on his knees to keep me stretched out over him. “Tonight she’s here. She’s here as long as she needs to be, end of story.”
Thomas didn’t answer, but it didn’t matter because Quinn returned with the doctor. I was lifted and brought into another room. The pain of movement overtook me, and I was out cold before the doctor spoke to me.
I woke in a bed with light coming through the window. I was clean, warm, and I didn’t hurt—which was nice for a change. I hadn’t slept in a bed in five years. The blankets on the floor with a mat beneath them didn’t count.
Usually I woke up from med machines and threw up for a long time from the experience. Maybe I had this time, too, and I didn’t remember. What had they drugged me with? Or maybe I’d slept through the whole ordeal. I’d never blacked out before the Sisters, but more than once I’d been out cold thanks to their abuse.
I wanted to sink back down to sleep under the blankets and just enjoy the moment. Only I knew where I was, and I’d imposed on the McQueens long enough. I pulled myself out of the bed. I wore a too-long-for-me black t-shirt. I didn’t know what had happened to my clothes or how long I’d been here. I didn’t hurt, even where I usually did. It could have been days.
I found a bathroom and was more than grateful to make use of the facilities. Once finished, I made my way out of the bathroom into the hallway. I’d barely noticed how huge the cabin was when I arrived. The hallway was wooden on the walls and the floor. A cool breeze circulated around me. It must have been very early still.
The kitchen was empty. I was starved, but I’d already taken too much from them. I couldn’t pay them back, and saving Clay from a falling rock would only go so far.
“Hi.” Clay caught my attention when he came down the stairs. “Morning. You doing okay?”
“Yes.” I lowered my eyes and resisted the urge to curtsy, which is what I had to do with the Sisterhood. “Thank you for letting me stay. How long have I been here?”
He took my hand, patting it on the counter. “One full day. The doctor was mostly concerned about all your hidden injuries that didn’t quite heal. He got them fixed in his machine. You’re going to be fine. You woke up earlier than we expected. Tommy will be upset he wasn’t down to greet you.”
I doubted that. It had been very clear to me that Thomas wanted me gone as quickly as I could. I didn’t blame him. I’d saved Clay and suddenly become something he had to deal with. He’d already been kinder to me than my family would have been to anyone.
“If I could impose on you for a few minutes more for just a little bit to eat, I’ll be on my way. Maybe I could walk down to Grayland, get a job for a few days, and then book passage … somewhere.”
His face fell. “Please don’t go yet. You can have any food you want. My food is your food. Then stay and be our guest for a while. You’ve been through a horrible ordeal. I’d like the chance to … repay you for what you’ve done for me. A few days.”
“Don’t beg her.” Thomas took the stairs two at a time. “If she wants to go, let her go.”
“Tommy.” A muscle ticked in Clay’s jaw.
For a second, I’d considered taking his offer. I knew what it was to stay where I wasn’t wanted. Both at the Sisterhood and at my home before then.
Thomas wanted me to go. I’d go. I still didn’t know where exactly, but I’d figure it out. I’d wanted my freedom and here it was. I took a deep breath. I wouldn’t be afraid. Not anymore.
2
Viable Skillset
When I’d been just Paloma Devereaux living on Mars Station, hanging out with Diana on the main course, going to school, I hadn’t had much to offer the world except holding onto my virginity for the political gain my father needed. He’d wanted to be a council member so badly he could practically taste it. When I’d lost my big V to a guy who did not keep his mouth closed, as it turned out, they’d had to leave Mars Station. Now he was the man behind the man on Earth. Or something.
My sister made a good marriage to three men on Earth who adored her and also brought water rights with them. I learned about my sister’s success from Diana a year before she stopped writing. I worried about Diana endlessly. Had she grown tired of communicating with me? Or did somet
hing happen to her?
Clay walked past me to the fridge and started sorting through it. “We have, um … eggs. And other stuff, probably.”
“We eat very badly.” Thomas shook his head. “You might want to look into something simple. Like sugar on toast.”
I walked over to Clay, and he moved so I could look. “Will the twins be eating, too?”
“If you cook, they’ll show up. Usually they go out somewhere and find food. Restaurant or pub. Around eleven. They tend to work all night. Sleep in.”
I’d never known how to cook on Mars Station. The Sisters had taught me. Using a stick on my back. I grabbed out some eggs. They looked okay. They also had fruit and bread. I got cooking. Omelets for everyone. Motion caught my attention, and I almost spilled the food as the sound of two sets of feet tore down the steps.
“She’s cooking.” Quinn laughed as he jumped on a chair by the counter. “Best morning ever.”
“Good morning, P.” Keith scooted next to him. “Glad you’re up and feeling better.”
“Thanks.” I finished cooking and dished out the eggs, toast, and fruit. Clay made coffee, which I didn’t drink because the Sisters didn’t believe in caffeine, so I took some water. With food in front of all of us, I smiled. They dug in very fast and were done before I’d finished two bites. Well, everyone but Thomas did. He waited for me and ate at my speed, so we finished together. When I’d taken my last bite, he grabbed the plate from me. On his feet, he collected the other plates, then made his way to the sink. Silently, he washed the dishes.
“I’d like to say thank you for offering me a place to go to last night. You warned her this could happen, Clay. I wished she’d listened to you.”
He dropped his eyes. “Yeah, how about that?” He sighed loudly. “You don’t have to thank us. We’re glad we were here.”