by C. L. Stone
Quinn’s face fell. “You’re not reliving it again, are you?” He looked down at his plate. “I …”
“No,” I interrupted fast. I wasn’t sure why he apologized when it came to my nearly being blown up, but I knew what would happen. He’d start. Thomas would cut him off. It would get awkward again. If no answers were coming, I didn’t need a repeat of the whole thing again.
“Then what’s wrong?” Keith chimed in.
“I was just contemplating life. It’s nothing. Anyone want more?”
Quinn and Keith both raised their hands, and Clay called out, “Me.”
“Don’t move,” Thomas instructed. “I’ll get it.”
He dished out seconds, and I enjoyed watching them like my food. This was what I wanted. The small dream I had that would likely never happen, where I owned a restaurant and people came to enjoy my food.
“So.” Thomas sat back down. “We can’t leave tomorrow because someone here messed with my computer. You’re stuck here with us another day.”
“There’s nothing stuck about it. I-I’ve never been with people like the four of you. My family was not like this one. You yell; you get over it. You seem to forgive each other without apologies. You clearly love each other. I’ve enjoyed the time. Thank you for it. I won’t forget it when I’m elsewhere. That there are people who live like you do.”
I hadn’t even known I felt that way until I vocalized it.
Quinn took my hand in his. “P, listen …”
I stood. “I’ll clear the table. You guys go do whatever you’d do after dinner.”
All four of them jumped to their feet and, before I could touch a dish, had the table cleared. A loud wind blew outside. I’d come to actually like the sound. Life blew by in a whirlwind of pain, and at least mother nature played along.
“Stay here a second, Paloma. I’m going to get Ari on the screen. Wait with her guys; don’t leave her alone.”
Keith put his arm around me. “Wasn’t planning on it.”
Clay raised an eyebrow. “Why’d you screw with his computer, Keith?”
“Who said I did?”
I squeezed his side and whispered to him. “You keep answering without answering.”
He answered as quietly. “Don’t point out the obvious to them. We need twenty-four more hours here. Trust me. I’m really, really smart. I’m a theoretical physicist. Not that my career really amounts to anything. But I wanted you to know. I’ve ended up in this situation with Quinn. Arguably, I’m just as smart as he is.”
What was I supposed to say? And what did a theoretical physicist do? “I—”
Quinn interrupted before I could finish. “You’ll like Ari. He’s funny. Very real. Not like some other people Tommy has thought I ought to speak to over the years. If you tell him to mind his own business, he actually will. See? I’m the damaged one. They like to get me help.”
Clay threw a dish towel at him. “Like anyone could ever really help you.”
Then in a blink of an eye, the two of them were wrestling on the ground. Like puppies. Clay got an elbow into Quinn’s chest, and they were hooting like the whole semi-violent exchange was actually really fun. Next to me, Keith laughed.
“Animals,” he called out yet didn’t try to stop them.
They managed to roll the whole space of the kitchen before Thomas came out of his office. He stood with his hands on his hips and stared at them a whole five seconds before he addressed me. “Don’t trip on them coming over here. I’ve got Ari all set to talk to you.”
I knew very little about Ari, and my inability to ask questions, thanks to the years at the hands of the Sisters, didn’t help this situation. I had to leave Keith’s warm embrace, which didn’t seem to bother him since he immediately crashed down onto the floor, jumping on both Clay and Quinn. They both oomphed and started wrestling him instead. I maneuvered around the group until I got to Thomas. He took my hand and helped me to not trip when they all rushed toward me in a spin.
“Is this typical?”
He nodded. “Yep. Until one of them really slams the others. Then they’ll all be pissed and retreat to separate corners for an hour. Could be worse. Trust me.”
Thomas sat me down in a chair in what had to be his office. Papers were everywhere, strewn left and right. One even seemed to have somehow attached itself to the ceiling, where it swung back and forth from the breeze of the fan. How did he function?
His computer screen was big, and on the other end a man I’d put close to Thomas’ age ate an apple and tapped his feet against his desk. That must be Ari.
“Hiya,” he said, setting down his apple. “You must be the Paloma I’m hearing about. I’m Ari.” He waved. “Weird to not be meeting in person first, but we can hook up when you get back here. I live on Mars Station. Must have just missed each other, sort of. I’ve been here four years.”
I cleared my throat and sat up straight. This felt like an interview, even though he was casual. “I’ve been gone five.”
“I’ll leave you two to talk.” Thomas nodded to Ari. “How you doing, man?”
“Well, better now you’ve given me Paloma to talk to. Get out.”
Thomas rolled his eyes but exited quickly, shutting the door behind him. I took a better look at Ari. He was very blond, of the bleached variety. He had a tan, and since he lived on Mars Station, that meant he spent some time in the swimming pool usually reserved for the guards on staff. They could train there. That was the only place on station with enough unnatural sunlight to bring on a tan.
He wore a white t-shirt, and since he had his feet up, I could see he was in a pair of khaki shorts. Mars Station had been a relatively cool place when I’d lived there. Did he not need to be dressed warmer?
“Listen, I’m going to start right out. I’m a doctor. A psychiatrist. But you’re not my patient, not officially. You can’t be unless we sign some documents I don’t want to sign with you. Why not? Because that starts questions from boards who monitor me. It’s not me I’m worried about. It’s you. You’re living with the McQueens. That means things have to be handled differently. Tommy trusts me to do that, and I don’t let him down. We’ve known each other since we were kids. I’m going to handle you like I handle Quinn. Or Keith and Clay for that matter. Like you’re family. That means if anyone asks you if you’ve seen a doctor, you don’t name me. Is that fine?”
“I guess so. They’re not my family, and neither are you.”
He nodded. “Smart girl. Listen, I can help you. You can trust me. Nothing you tell me goes any further than us. I hear you’ve had a really hard time. I get that. You had a reaction to some noises earlier today. I want you to tell me what that was. There are some medicines I can get you hooked up with through Tommy’s med machine. They’ll help. But I want to talk to you first. Most importantly, if you get nothing else from this convo, you need to know what happened to you happened because of shit you went through. And no, I don’t say shit to most patients. It’s not your fault. And, yeah, we can stop it.”
He was the strangest doctor I’d ever encountered, but I liked him very much. He might even be called handsome—except I could only see McQueens’ blue eyes. All other colors seemed to fade into nothingness.
“Tell me about what happened.”
I cleared my throat. I really could have done with some water. “Well, first there was this large boom …”
He held up his hand, and I quit talking. “Before that, babe. How did a hottie like you end up with the Sisters from Hell?”
I snorted and then covered my mouth from the unladylike noise. I’d never heard that good a description of the Sister before. “Do you call all your patients babe and hottie?”
“No, just the ones I’m probably going to watch walk down the aisle towards my best friend.”
I shook my head. “Oh, no. Thomas doesn’t have those feelings for me. He’s very adamant I have to go.”
“That so?” He sat closer to the screen. “Okay, why not? Sure. Go on. What
did you do to end up there? Unless you chose to go. I know some women feel the call.”
My head buzzed. I hated having to talk about this. Would there come a time when I wouldn’t have to? “I had sex with someone when I was seventeen. My father caught us. He sent me away.”
“Were you in love with this kid?” His expression didn’t change. I waited for the rest of the sentence that might accompany the judgment, but it didn’t come.
“No. I wanted him. It was fleeting. Even then I knew he wasn’t going to be my husband. He was kind of … stupid.”
Ari nodded. “Good for you, Paloma. I might wish you’d found a place your dad wasn’t going to catch you, but fuck, I’m so sick of the female sex suppression. It’s taken us back thousands of years. Like you’re supposed to save it and then be willing to just go at it like a bunny as soon as you say I do. Bunch of crappola. Okay. Let’s talk.”
I’d never known anyone like him, and I was sure he didn’t treat most of his patients like he did me. But, at the end of it, I thought I might be okay.
5
Twenty-Four More Hours
I left Thomas’ office with the promise to call Ari again for another ‘chat’ the next week. He’d uploaded some medicine into Thomas’ medical machine, and if I wanted some relief, I could go ahead and use it. He told me it was anxiety medication that wasn’t going to leave me addicted. I could stop it anytime. It was a newly developed formula.
I’d decide in the morning if I wanted to use it. Ari had been very low key about the whole thing. He wasn’t my doctor, after all.
I nearly tripped over Thomas, who sat in the hall, sleeping with his head against the wall. He woke up when I jolted backwards. The poor guy, he must have wanted to get back into his office, and I’d taken too long.
“Sorry.” I offered him my hand to get up, but he shook his head and rose by himself. “I didn’t mean to take so long.”
He rubbed his eyes. “No, you were fine. I just dozed off. Wanted to be here when you came out in case you needed anything.”
“Um, well. I guess I do need your help with the med machine. He sent over medicine for me. Light dose of anxiety medicine to start. He wants me to call next week.”
Thomas scratched his head. “Come on. We can do that, fast. Glad he was some help. Ari is a long-term friend. I’d trust him with my life.”
“He was … different than what I expected. I’m grateful for the help. Are you paying him? I’d be happy to pay you back when I get a job. Maybe in installments?”
Thomas put his arm around me and walked me toward my bedroom. “That’s sweet. Unnecessary. Ari is not charging me.”
“Thanks, just the same.”
“You’re welcome.” He stopped me in the hallway outside of my room. Or, I made myself correct my thinking, the room where I stayed. It wasn’t my room. “Listen, go easy on my brothers, Paloma. They don’t know how to protect themselves from you. That’s my fault. Hanging around women wasn’t high on my list of priorities. Stop playing games with their hearts. You know you can’t stay with us, and even if you could, I can’t allow this to happen right now.”
My body went cold. I stepped away from him. Not only had Thomas reminded me he didn’t want me around when I’d decided maybe he did, he’d now accused me of playing games with his brothers.
“I made a mistake when I was seventeen. A big one. I’ve paid and paid and paid for it. I don’t play games. I haven’t done anything. You offered me sanctuary. I took you up on it. Your brothers know how things stand. I’m leaving with you as soon as you fix your computer. Don’t worry; the bad influence will be leaving.”
He groaned. “Paloma, that isn’t what I meant.”
“Yes it is. Goodnight, Thomas. Sleep well. I won’t.”
“Wait.” He shook his head. “You need your medicine.”
“I’ll ask one of the others to help me in the morning. It would be really great if you would just leave me alone. I won’t even talk to you on the shuttle. I’m good at being quiet. That being said, I’m tired of your constant nasty implications.”
I turned on my heel. I didn’t even stop to see his reaction. I was tired of Thomas’ turn arounds. One second he was so kind I could fall for him, the next he left me feeling dirty—a sense I’d promised myself I’d never have again after I left the Sisterhood.
I managed to dress for bed without crying, but the second my head hit the pillow that stopped. I didn’t remember falling asleep. Sometime in the early morning, I woke up when two bodies crawled into bed with me, holding me on both sides. I wrenched my lids open. It was Quinn and Keith. Keith faced me. He gently kissed my forehead, while Quinn was at my back, his arms holding me tight.
I almost let myself fall into the warmth their bodies offered. The room wasn’t cold, but my soul felt like it would never thaw. Instead, I shook my head. “You guys need to go.”
“Aww,” Keith complained, kissing my cheek. “You liked being held last night. I know it’s late tonight. Quinn wouldn’t be left behind. Two for one. We’ll behave. Keep our hands to ourselves, pretty much.”
I wasn’t going to lie. “Thomas says you guys aren’t able to handle me, and I should leave you alone. So please go away.”
Keith shook his head, and Quinn groaned. The latter answered me, “P, we love Tommy. He’s our brother. I, in particular, owe him a huge debt. We’re brothers. That being said, he doesn’t control who I sleep with, either mostly unromantically or otherwise. If you don’t want us, that’s fine. But don’t kick us out because of Tommy. I’ll manage him.”
Keith stroked his hand down my arm. “Baby, he’s terrified of you. Takes him longer to get to okay because he’s got so much he’s responsible for. Trust me. Twenty-four more hours. Go to sleep. Don’t kick us out.”
I pressed my head against his chest to hear his heart beat. It was strong and steady. Quinn’s arms were strong. I must have been exhausted because I fell back asleep. I didn’t even dream.
I woke up slowly. I knew it was late. I’d not gotten up to make breakfast. The rain and wind had stopped. I actually missed their sounds. The twins breathed deeply, having also not moved. I was tight up against them. Pressed against my stomach, Keith was hard. Maybe he just got erect when he slept every night, although I hoped it was about me.
I moved slightly and discovered Quinn was in exactly the same condition as Keith. Feeling them turned on made me hot. I closed my eyes. I had to be honest with myself. I’d had sex with Rocky because I’d gotten hot. Making out with Quinn had done the same. Lying between the twins, I was really turned on. And if Clay came in and looked at me with the longing I always saw in his eyes, I’d heat right up, too. When it came down to it, even as angry as I was at Thomas, if he smiled at me I’d want him.
I was way too susceptible to other people’s desires.
I needed to get control of myself.
I wanted … oh, by the universe, I wanted the McQueen brothers. More than I’d ever craved Rocky. Why had I slept with Rocky? Because he’d asked, I was slightly turned on, and I’d been seriously mad at my mother. She’d let me know a good match for me would be coming to the station. I hadn’t wanted the set up. I’d been seventeen. And so, so stupid.
But this was different. These were men, and I was no longer a child. I wanted to wait for my husband. I wasn’t going to give in to this. I’d get a job, make something of myself, and find a man who didn’t mind my past.
Quinn released a long breath. I knew instantly when he woke up, even though I kept my eyes closed.
He kissed my cheek, whispering in my ear, “Good morning, P.”
I opened my lids. “How did you know I was awake?” I whispered back.
“You weren’t doing your adorable little snore.”
“Quinn.” I huffed out my breath. “I do not snore.”
“You do,” Keith mumbled. “But it’s not loud or obnoxious. It’s cute. We like the sound. So don’t get mad when we point it out.”
“You guys do this o
ften? Put a girl in between you and go to sleep?”
Keith leaned up on his elbow. “No. Generally speaking, we don’t share well. You seem to be an exception.”
A knock sounded on the door, and Clay poked his head in. “Wanted to make sure you were okay. Tommy said you were going to need some meds. And, hey, you two. Wish you’d come and gotten me if you were having a sleepover.”
Keith rolled over and adjusted his boxer shorts. He groaned before he got out of bed. “Where would you have slept? We had both her sides covered.”
Clay shrugged. “She would have slept on me and you two on both sides. No matter, I get her tonight.”
Quinn scoffed, “You can’t call dibs. This isn’t like the best piece of steak.”
“Unless Paloma wants you, you two sleep in your own rooms.” Clay shut the door loudly, and I followed Keith out of the bed.
“Thanks for last night. I went to bed miserable. I didn’t wake up that way.”
Quinn grabbed my arm, pulling me down so he could kiss me. He kept it light, and I loved the affection. “We’re just happy you didn’t press harder to kick us out.”
Keith bent over and gave me a similar but firmer kiss. “Believe it or not, he’d be horrified to know he made you nuts. Tommy is a softie. See how you feel at the end of today.”
I doubted it would be much different and wasn’t sure why it would matter anyway. I was leaving the three men who liked me in order to spend a month in a shuttle with Thomas McQueen. It was going to be a long trip.
****
Clay took me to the med machine. I hated being enclosed in one of those things, but it turned out the machine only needed my arm. I placed it inside and with a small pinch, it administered the medicine.
“I’ve never seen it done that way before.”
Clay nodded, kissing my arm where it had been pinched. “Tommy will always have the most up-to-date stuff in his shuttles. He prides himself on having the best products. How do you feel?”
“How should I feel? I guess, not much different.”