John lifted Linnett down from the wagon. Linnett frowned and firmly pushed him away from her. “No, John, we must talk. I need to talk!” John saw that she meant what she said.
He held up both his hands and sighed. “Alright, alright if you need to talk, I just think that you need to forget the hanging and the events aboard ship. It does you no good at all to dwell upon these things.”
Linnett shook her head. “I am not going to dwell on them!” she snapped. “I just want us to talk quietly about the awful things that have happened to us and how we feel about each other.”
John took her arm and turned Linnett to face him. “I know how I feel about you!” John planted a soft kiss on her lips, “I love you, Mrs. Foster,” he whispered into her ear.
Linnett drew away and looked searchingly into his eyes. “Do you, John?” she asked earnestly.
John studied her face for a moment and then said, “You are serious....well then we do need to talk! Come along.”
John grasped her arm and led her to the front of the wagon, where he helped her up onto the front seat. John climbed up beside her. “This is as good a place as any, we are almost private. At least no one can hear us.” He turned to face her and took her hands in his. “Alright, sweetheart, tell me what it is that troubles you.”
Linnett dipped her head and chewed her lip, gathering her thoughts before she began to speak slowly. “After we were safe ashore, I felt so guilty about the men on the ship, Captain Pettigrew and D...Duncan.”
Linnett’s voice broke. John squeezed her hand and she took a deep breath before continuing, “I couldn’t stop thinking about how we were sat safely in our cabin while our friends were up above fighting for their lives! We might have helped them but we didn’t even try!”
John interrupted her. “In all probability, darling, we would have perished alongside them.”
Linnett wrenched her hands out of his. “But you can’t be sure! Anyway it isn’t only that!” Linnett wondered how best to explain to him what she was feeling. “You see, when I asked you to go alone to Boston it was because I couldn’t face seeing you every day. I felt such guilt that you had survived and they had not. I prayed when you were unconscious, begged, that you would live. Yet when you did, I resented you for being alive when they were dead and it made me feel so guilty. I hated you for not helping them. I hated you for not protecting me....oh John I was so confused!
“Then, after I thought you had left me behind and gone to Boston, I realised how much I did love you and I regretted sending you away. That’s why I went off to find you, so that I could make everything right again between us.”
Linnett looked down at her hands tightly knotted in her lap and a tear trickled down her face and splashed onto them.
John looked at her and thought how very young she still was and how very vulnerable. He took a deep breath, determined to get this right. “Oh sweetheart, don’t you realise that I, too, feel terrible guilt for not joining the crew and fighting alongside my friends? Instead I chose to stay and protect that which has become the most precious thing in my life....You, Linnett! I am also guilty of putting you in terrible danger by bringing you across the sea. When I think of what might have happened on board that ship and afterwards out in the wilderness. Christ, Linnett, you were nearly raped!”
John reached out and caressed her cheek. “My darling, you have no need to feel any guilt. I feel guilt at not fighting, even though it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but I will live with that guilt gladly because the alternative was to leave you unprotected in the cabin, and I just couldn’t do that.”
Linnett raised her eyes to his. “I didn’t realise you felt that way,” she whispered, her eyes suddenly flooded with tears.
John gathered her in close and let her weep. “Why do you think I was so harsh with you after you wandered off? It was because I love you so much that I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. I had to make sure you would never again put your life in danger like that. Oh, and a spanking is not a beating. I would never beat you, Linnett.”
Linnett sniffed and gave a watery smile, saying, “Really and here I was thinking it was only because you enjoyed beat....spanking me!”
John chuckled. “Well actually, since you mention it, I do, you have such a cute round bottom......but you have to admit my explanation sounded better!”
Linnett punched his arm. “You swine. Honestly, I was glad afterwards of the punishment. I felt as if I had been exonerated somehow for what had happened on the ship. I felt so much better when I thought it.”
John was shocked. “Linnett that is dreadful! What happened between us had nothing whatsoever to do with the ship. God, if only I’d known that was how you felt!” Linnett shook her head.
“What difference would it have made? You were furious because I’d disobeyed you. You would have punished me anyway.”
John stared at her. “No, Linnett, I might not have done had I known the amount of guilt you were feeling. You should have talked to me about this instead of foolishly trying to send me away to Boston.”
Linnett’s temper flared up again “Well, I might have done so if I had been given the chance to speak!”
John sighed. “Look here now, that wasn’t just about obeying me. It was about keeping you and others safe. Your repeated defiance endangered yourself and young Peter.”
Linnett’s eyes flashed suddenly and she shouted, “Oh really! What about in England then, in the coach? I was in no danger then, except it seems from you!”
John raised his voice, bellowing, “This is absolutely ridiculous, Linnett! You were behaving like a spoilt child. You bit me for Christ’s sake! Come to think of it, you bit me again in the barn! You darn well deserved everything you got!”
Incensed, Linnett raised her hand to slap his cheek, but John caught her wrist and yanked her forward crushing her to him as he kissed her grindingly hard on the mouth. He then kept a firm hold of her hands. “That is enough, Linnett, unless you want yet another spanking and in public! Stop it! We are supposed to be talking, not fighting. I’ve explained how I feel and why I took the actions that I did and I think I understand how you feel. However, Linnett, I will not apologise for punishing you, however resentful you may feel about that. You are my wife and if you defy me or use any foul language, I will punish you. Make no mistake, Linnett, that’s the way it is with no discussion!” John growled. “Now do you wish to talk about anything else?”
Linnett nodded vigorously. “Just this: You’re wrong if you think I am resentful.” She took a deep breath. “No, no I will be honest about this. I confess that I am a bit resentful. I still think you went far too far but I am also relieved that you have placed some limitations on my behaviour. Always in the past I have done the things that I wished to do, however dangerous or stupid they were and no one ever tried to stop me.... until you came along. At first I was furious that I couldn’t bend your will to mine. Then after a while I enjoyed trying to get my own way but I felt a sort of, I don’t know...safety in knowing that you would stop me if I went a little bit too far....am I making any sense at all?”
John’s eyes twinkled and his lip twitched with amusement. “Yes, I follow you perfectly. Your father spared the rod and so spoilt the child! I knew you needed a strong man for your husband, one who could stand up to your stubborn wilfulness. Had you married that poor boy Charles, you would have run rings around him! It would have been a complete disaster. You would have had no respect for him, and he would have had no idea how to deal with a reckless little minx such as yourself!”
Linnett flushed a deep red and muttered under her breath. John grinned at her. “What was that my love?”
Linnett glowered at him, “I said he was far too much of a gentleman to behave the way you do!”
John threw back his head and chuckled delightedly. “I think it’s just as well you married me then!”
Linnett suddenly gurgled with laughter, “Actually.... yes! Poor dear Charlie, I would have made hi
s life utterly miserable, although I hate to admit that you are right and swell your arrogant head still further! Seriously, though John, I do love you and I am beginning to understand you and what you need from me as your wife. I promise not to knowingly put myself in danger...but only if you will promise me the same.”
John nodded. “I hope you mean your promise to me, Linnett, because, in return, I promise to protect you in whatever way I can... but if that means risking danger then so be it. I also promise to blister your behind whenever I think you require it.”
Linnett pouted but reached out and wrapped her arms around her husband, crying, “John!”
He held her tightly against him before kissing her soundly and releasing her. “Now please can we find this eating house Hans mentioned because I am absolutely starving and my ribs are sticking to my vitals!”
The eating house John led them to had a glass front, unusual in a small town establishment; however, the glass was of a thick green variety unlike the fine thin glass to be found in the buildings of New York and Boston. Nevertheless, the presence of glass at all gave the eating house a prestige that the other premises within the town envied, and business was booming.
Inside there were wooden benches and long tables set out in lines across the width of the room. When someone vacated a space, the next in line sat down and was served. There was a simple menu; the meal consisted of soup, fried chicken or stew and a hunk of bread, followed by a cup of strong black coffee. Pie was optional when apples were in season.
Linnett was surprised at how tasty the meal actually was. The girl that served them smiled, simpering at John, and asked him if they were here for the hanging and from whereabouts were they from?
John sat back in his chair and told her they were staying with Hans and Sarah Lammers. The girl, a carrot-haired freckled miss, with wide blue eyes and an overdeveloped bosom, was pressing herself far too close to John’s side for Linnett’s liking. She then proceeded to gush with verbal enthusiasm about Hans’ size and good looks, asking John whether Hans would be joining them for lunch, batting her gingery eyelashes at John as she spoke. Just like a demented butterfly, or more like a carrot fly, thought Linnett sourly.
John puffed out his chest and sat back in his chair, going on to explain about the shipwreck that had landed them here. Linnett kicked his ankle under the table, giving him a sharp shake of her head. John glanced up at her in surprise. He raised an eyebrow at her and then turned away to listen to some flippant comment the carrot top made about the hanging.
It seemed that the lad who had been hanged was one Tom O’Cleary, who had come upon a half-caste girl who had rejected his advances. In a fit of drunken rage, he had raped and murdered the poor girl before being caught red-handed by the girl’s father who had been looking for his daughter, concerned when she had not appeared in time for her supper. The town had been in uproar ever since. Half the town’s folk thought that the lad should be hanged; the other half did not, based on grounds that the girl was half Indian. In the end a trial was held, and Tom was sentenced to hang by a jury of twelve men.
As they were finishing their meal, Hans strolled in and joined them. He greeted the carroty girl with a big hug and she squealed with delight, kissing his cheek and pulling his whiskers. Linnett glared at them both as she stood up to leave. “I am leaving,” she stated regally. “Are you coming with me, John?” she asked coldly.
John looked up at his wife in some surprise “Of course I’ll come with you,” he said standing up.
Following Linnett’s retreating back, he shrugged at Hans, who laughed and called after him, “I will see you at the wagon my friend as soon as I have eaten my fill.”
John caught up with Linnett, catching her by her upper arm and stopping her in her tracks. “Whoa there! What’s got into you all of a sudden?”
Linnett raised her eyebrows. “Into me! By God? That girl couldn’t keep her hands off you and Hans and you just adored it, didn’t you!”
John looked incredulous “That’s what this is all about? You’re mad because I talked to that serving wench?”
Linnett flushed a deep red and sneered scornfully. “Talked!” Linnett’s voice dropped copying John’s deep drawl. “Let me take those heavy plates for you there, missy," she mimicked, before spinning round and marching off again at a brisk pace.
John grinned and stood watching her shapely form appreciatively for a second or two before striding after her. He caught her by the arm and dragged her down an opening between two buildings. He pushed her roughly up against the wall, intending to kiss her.
Linnett’s hand flew up and slapped him hard across the cheek, leaving a livid palm impression at the point of impact. John’s eyes smarted but ignoring the sharp pain, he spun Linnett around and landed two heavy swats to her already burning bottom. He spun Linnett back to face him, placed his hands on either side of her furious face, and, forcing her head up, he kissed her thoroughly. Linnett hit his shoulders with her fists. She then tried to bring her knee up between his legs but John forestalled her by quickly pushing his own leg between hers. Breaking the kiss slightly to grin down at her he murmured, “Uh- uh naughty- naughty girl!”
John resumed the kiss, his lips moving in a sensuous slow rhythm that spoke to her of passion shared. Linnett felt her legs turn weak and her body ached with wanting. John drew slightly away from her and whispered huskily. “Don’t you know yet, you impossible woman, that you are the only one for me?” He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her searingly once again. John’s hand moved up over the slope of her hip until he reached her breast and Linnett immediately broke the kiss twisting her head to the side.
“Stop, John, someone might see us! Stop now...please!” John grasped her chin in his hand. “Let them stare for all I care, you are my wife and if I choose to kiss you... then damn it, kiss you I will!” He lowered his head, his fingers entwined in her silky hair. To his surprise, Linnett’s arms wound themselves sinuously around his neck, her hands stroked his thick dark hair, her lips opened under his, and her tongue darted teasingly between his lips.
He crushed her against him and they stood locked in a passionate embrace. When at last he broke away from her he looked down into her eyes he saw they were unfocused, a cloudy misty sea green, the colour her eyes turned whenever she was fully aroused. He smiled at her dreamy sensual look and kissed her small nose. “We must finish this conversation, later my love... in private.
Now come, for I have a present for you.” Linnett reached up to tidy her mussed hair, “for...me?” She looked astonished at John and reached out patting at his pockets. He laughed. “Stop you minx, I don’t have the gift on me! Come it’s this way.”
Taking her hand in his, he towed her along, back the way they had come and along the street. Eventually he stopped at the livery stable. John hailed the smithy within and he led out a beautiful russet mare with a jet black mane and tail. John took the reins from the smith and led the horse over to where Linnett stood, “Yours!” John said simply handing her the horse’s reins. Linnett raised a hand and let the horse sniff her hand and then she turned shining eyes to John. “Oh I can’t believe this!” Linnett flung her arms round his neck and kissed his mouth. Spinning back to look at the horse she shook her head in disbelief. “Oh she’s absolutely beautiful! Thank you my darling, oh thank you!”
John looked a little embarrassed “She’s not the pedigree that your horse Pango was but well, she is the best I could find at short notice.” Linnett lifted a glowing face and laughed “John she’s perfect! I just love her, look at her colour and she has beautiful eyes.” Linnett was walking around the horse, lifting her hooves and feeling her ankles, all the while talking soothingly to the gentle creature at her side. The horse followed Linnett’s progress with a tolerant eye, blowing softly through her velvet nose. Finally Linnett mounted the mare and rode up the street with John walking alongside until they joined Hans back at the now fully laden wagon.
“So what are you going to name her
?” Sarah asked her as the two women walked back to the house after stabling and settling Linnett’s new mare. “Oh that’s easy: Amber! Because of her colour,” Linnett told her happily.
“My, but you’re a happier soul than left here this morning!” Sarah noted.
“I am, and it isn’t just the horse you know, Sarah, although I just cannot get over John buying her for me! It’s... well John and I talked. Really talked about...well everything!”
Sarah patted her friend’s arm “I’m so glad Linnett! He is a lovely man, your husband. We are lucky women to have found such men as your John and my Hans.”
She linked her arm through Linnett’s.
“Yes, you’re right. We are lucky and John is a lovely man,” Linnett replied happily. They smiled warmly at each other and walked in companionable silence back to the house for supper.
Later that evening Sarah and Linnett had the patterns and materials spread across the table ready to make a start on the warm winter clothes they would need in the coming months.
John and Hans sat in front of the fire across the room talking of the snippets of political news they had gleaned from Mr. Penman that day. It seemed that various skirmishes had broken out with the British troops based in Boston and ill feeling bred among the local people against the British. As they worked together Linnett answered Sarah’s questions about the trip into town.
Sarah shook her head sadly over the tale of the hanging. “That poor girl and yes, the poor lad, too. What a savage place the world is, Linnett.”
The two women worked in silence for a while, each with her own sad thoughts, until Linnett reached out a hand and placed it over Sarah’s, saying impulsively, “I do wish John and I could spend the winter here with you and Hans. I will miss you so much Sarah!”
Sarah smiled warmly at her young friend.
His Defiant Wife, the Adventures of Linnett Wainwright, Book 2 Page 3