by GL Chapple
She looked at me anxiously but tried to smile to cover it. "Lead the way!" she said with fake enthusiasm.
We'd been dancing for about half an hour or so when I saw Kelly standing by the bar. She was with a guy and for a split second my heart stopped, even though he looked nothing like Nate.
Maddie followed my eyes “You gonna come and say “Hi”?" she yelled over the music and I shook my head.
She pursed her lips at me, then turned and walked over to join them at the bar.
I saw Kelly grab her in an embrace and introduce her to whoever she was with.
They all looked over in my direction and I gave a little wave before carrying on dancing, trying to look convincingly as if I was enjoying.
I was drunk but not in the happy everything-is-wonderful way, more in that everything was spinning and blurry and I wanted my bed. I would never understand how people could enjoy this.
I knew they were still talking about me though, and my pride wouldn't let me leave the dance floor. I stayed for another few songs before giving up.
I was walking towards them when Maddie came up to me. Catching my arm she pulled me down to sit at the nearest table.
"We're gonna go home now, Lee." I couldn't be bothered to argue with her; I wanted to go. "Alex is on his way."
"What?" I asked confused, and she gave me a thin smile.
"Your sister has been worried sick and has been calling me. They've been round at your house. I just said we were out but heading home. Alex is gonna swing by and pick you up now."
I nodded dumbly and she gripped my hand in hers.
"Baby girl, this isn't the answer. I've never seen you like this. We'll talk tomorrow." she chewed her lip as she always did when she was upset, and I felt my eyes fill with tears.
Noticing she pulled me up. "Don’t get upset. Come on. Let's go wait outside; he won't be long."
Lena
The cool night air hit me and I staggered against Maddie. She gripped me tightly around the waist and led me to a nearby bench. She didn't say anything but rubbed my arm in a distracted, reassuring gesture. I knew she was upset and worried, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. I wasn’t ready or willing to talk about what was going on.
I leaned into her and closed my eyes, trying to stop the world from spinning.
I heard her call out to Alex and struggled to open my eyes and focus.
He looked at me sadly, catching me under the arms and pulling me into a standing position. I could hear him calling my name as he held onto me, but I stared straight past him, unable to tear my eyes away.
I was trying to work out if I’d conjured him up in my drunken state or if he was really there.
Maddie followed my eyes and I heard her mutter "Oh..."
He hadn't noticed me yet, walking with purpose towards the bar, talking into his phone. He turned his head slightly and met my eyes.
Even across the distance, I saw his jaw tighten as he took in the sight of me draped over Alex. He slipped his phone into his pocket and strode towards us.
Alex was still in blissful ignorance, trying to get me to move with him.
I swear I felt the air around me crackle as he got close. Goosebumps appeared all over my skin. I wanted nothing more than to throw myself into his arms and ask him to make me feel safe again.
I was so tired of trying to be strong, exhausted trying to do it all myself. This was too much to bear alone - but I couldn’t trust him; clearly I couldn’t trust anyone. My judgement was so impaired that I might as well have handed Nate the knife, turned around and braced for the inevitable impact.
He placed a strong, firm hand on Alex's shoulder.
"I've got this." he said forcefully and I saw Alex whip his head round in confusion.
Maddie quickly intervened. "Alex, it's Ok - this is Nate; he's Lena's... um…" She faltered as she tried to think how to describe him.
"She's mine. Back off guy," Nate interjected, looking more pissed off with each passing moment.
His words resounded in my head and I suddenly pushed back, breaking away from them all, swaying unsteadily on my heels.
"Yours!" I yelled, "What the fuck Nate! I'm not a possession for you to claim!"
He looked at me his jaw ticking and fists clenching at his sides. "You’re drunk, Lena, I'm taking you home."
I shook my head wildly then grabbed it with my hands to try and stop the world spinning.
He took a step towards me and I held a hand up. "I'm going home with Alex!”
Alex and Maddie who were watching the exchange silently, flinched as Nate erupted, "Like fuck you are!"
Alex turned to him and tried to speak calmly. "Good evening, Nate is it?" he began.
Nate turned to him, a face like thunder, cutting him off.
"Listen guy, you might be a nice decent guy trying to do the right thing, or a total fucking prick thinking you were getting lucky. Either way it makes no difference, she's coming with me. I'd strongly recommend you stand the fuck back."
With that he stalked towards me, stopping directly in front of me, his lips pressed together tightly. "Easy way or the hard way?" he asked.
I stood my ground, staring at him. "I'm going home with Alex," I spat out despite my body screaming at me to stop being so stubborn.
He shook his head in exasperation."Hard it is then," he muttered before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.
I shrieked and felt Alex move forward.
Maddie must have said something because nothing happened and I heard Nate say, "Thank you. I'll have her text you," before carrying me back to his car.
The ride home was awkward. He didn't speak and I could feel his anger radiating off him. He took me back to his place and I couldn't be bothered to argue with him.
He stormed into his house and I followed behind. Grabbing me a pint glass, he filled it with water and gave me two tablets.
He sat me down on the sofa as he paced back and forth in front of me as I downed the water and tablets, hoping to ward off the hangover from hell.
When I finished he took the glass back. Standing in front of me he looked angry and confused. He dragged his hand over his face.
"What's the deal, Lena... what the fuck was the deal with that guy huh? And why are you in such a state?"
I wanted to push his buttons. I wanted to see how far I could go. I wanted to push him away before he could hurt me.
"What's it to you?" I bit out, and he looked at me stunned before his eyes got hard.
"I don't share sweetheart..." He moved towards me and knelt down in front of me so that he was eye level.
"I can be your quintessential good guy princess. I'll treat you right; I'll be there for you whenever you need me, even when you think you don't... but don't for one second let that fool you. I'm gonna own you Lena, body, mind, heart and soul. You'll be mine, totally, completely and irrefutably mine." He spoke the words with conviction.
I wanted so badly to believe his words; I wanted to be his; I wanted to have someone whom I could rely on, who would put me first and be there for me. Someone who could help me deal with everything that was falling apart in my life, but my hurt and doubt was suffocating me.
I said softly, "You should have let me go home with Alex..."
He snapped at me before I could finish, standing abruptly.
"That guy! Are you fucking kidding me?" He was furious.
"Why?" he demanded but continued to speak before letting me answer."What's happened Lena? Tell me, talk to me!"
I looked at him, keeping my face blank, trying to remain unemotional as my heart rebelled against the words I was about to utter.
"It was fun Nate, but I get bored easily. A couple of fucks, good as they were, don't make me your girl. Nobody gets to own me."
I raised my chin defiantly at him, crossing my arms in front of me, my voice sounding harsh as I tried to hold back the threatening tears.
I saw the hurt flash across his face before he reined it in. Working his j
aw he stared at me, looking me directly in the eyes as I tried to meet his gaze.
"Bullshit," he said softly "you’re lying to me, you or both of us. Princess, you've never just been a fuck to me! I know I'm more to you than that! Tell me what's going on." Coming back to kneel in front of me, he grabbed my hand and I jerked it free.
"Don't kid yourself, Masters" I sniped at him but he didn't move.
"What's going on Lena? Maddie was really worried about you. It's not like you to get yourself into this state."
"How the fuck would you know? You think you know me? You don’t know a damn thing!”
"I’m not gonna argue with you all night. You're clearly not gonna talk. Come to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow."
I raised my eyes at him but he stood and pulled me up, gently pushing me along and up the stairs.
Just as we got to the top I realised I was going to be sick. Stumbling forwards into his bathroom, I collapsed in front of the toilet, heaving into the bowl.
I heard his footsteps behind me but couldn't tell him to go. He pulled my loose hair strands back, holding them out of the way and gently rubbed my back.
When I'd finished, he handed me a glass of water which I took gratefully, before pulling me to my feet and handing me a toothbrush with paste.
He took me into the bedroom and sat me on the bed. Pulling out one of his tee shirts, he tossed it at me with instructions to put it on, as he disappeared into the bathroom.
By the time he came out, I'd folded my clothes and collapsed into bed wearing his tee shirt. He crawled up the bed before he propped himself up next to me, but there was nothing sexual in his advance.
He leaned down and gently kissed me on the forehead.
"I've got you sweetheart. Go to sleep we'll talk tomorrow"
I felt his arm wrap over me, and as much as I wanted to resist him, it felt so good. I closed my eyes and immediately passed out.
Nate
I sat up in bed beside her, watching her sleep, trying to work out what the hell was going on with her. We'd texted back and forth throughout the week and parted on good terms, great in fact, with her agreeing to come to the wedding and giving me a long lingering kiss goodbye.
Maddie had clearly been worried about her according to Kelly, who'd text me as soon as she saw them at the bar.
That made me think it had to be something big for Maddie to be concerned, and for my feisty, strong warrior princess to get herself in such a state.
I’d seen her vulnerable, but I knew it wasn't a side she exposed often. I couldn't imagine much that would cause her to look so lost and broken.
Seeing her like that had hurt and frustrated me - the pain in her eyes and the stubborn set of her shoulders as she tried to feed me bullshit. This wasn't anything to do with us and she could push all she wanted I wasn't going anywhere.
I checked on her throughout the night but she was sleeping soundly.
Just before 7am I got up and went downstairs to get her water and tablets to leave next to the bed.
She was still out of it, so I went back down. I did half an hour of weights before turning the radio on and cooking breakfast. She would probably have a bitch of a hangover and grease would be the kill or cure.
I walked into the bedroom expecting to see her still sleeping or lying there feeling sorry for herself, but the bed was empty, the duvet placed back neatly.
I knew immediately that she'd gone; the tablets had been taken, the glass empty.
Her clothes were missing as was my tee shirt. Going back downstairs, I grabbed my phone and tried to call her, but it just went to voicemail. Frustrated I snatched up my car keys.
I hadn't heard a car pull up and the last thing I wanted was her wandering the streets alone. I got in the car and drove around, but without knowing when she'd actually left, she could well have been home by then.
I tried her number again but it went straight to voicemail.
I slammed the horn in frustration. Fucking women!
This shit was exactly why I'd stuck with fuck buddies - all the fun, none of the drama.
She'd managed to get me all twisted and tangled up in her without even trying. From the minute I'd seen her kneeling on the guy in the refuge she'd intrigued me, her attitude and swagger in total contrast to her soft, delicate features and warm smile.
Maybe Gramps had a point about her fucking web! The more I knew the more I liked, and here I was driving around at 8am on a Sunday morning after a night of hardly any sleep and no sex.
Back to the house I text Kelly, to ask for Maddie’s number, and waited impatiently for her to respond.
Finally my phone beeped and I snatched it up, but it was the same unknown number as before.
"We need you and you need us, please think on this."
"What the fuck!" I yelled out loud. Who the hell was texting me this crap? I fired off a quick message back, stating bluntly, "Wrong number!"
Just as my phone began to ring. I answered and heard, “Hey Nate, it's Maddie! Is she OK?" She sounded anxious and I groaned in disappointment.
"Dammit! I hoped you'd picked her up."
She shrieked down the phone "What? She's not there?"
"She was here when I came downstairs at 7am. She's took off sometime between then and now. What the hell's going on with her Maddie?" I demanded.
She stayed silent.
"Maddie, c'mon! Everything was fine all week. What's happened?" I implored her and I could feel her indecision.
Torn between what was best for her friend, keeping her loyalty - or telling me what she knew.
"Look it's not my place to say..."
I tried to interrupt but she silenced me. "Listen, she had some bad news last night, ‘family-related’, you'll need to get the details from her if she chooses to say... I think there's more though..."
She paused for a minute and I could hear her taking a breath, obviously uncomfortable with talking to me about this.
"Her sister told me that, after the initial news Lena spoke to her father on her own. Bianca thought it was probably something business related, but apparently there was a lot of shouting and she stormed out of the house. I don't know any details and she's not spoken to anyone since…" She trailed off and I tried to think over what she’d said.
It must have been some argument for her to be this upset, but then who was I to judge on family issues? I realised she was speaking again.
"I know it's early days and I don't know what's going on with you guys, but she's been happy lately, lighter than she's been in a long time, - but Nate she's got enough going on; she doesn't need you messing with her head; it's fight or flight time Masters, Decide."
She put the phone down on me and I stood there for a second, before grabbing my keys and walking back out. I drove over to her house. The car was there but I expected it to be. I rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door, but there was no answer. I had no way of telling if she'd come back home or gone someplace else.
I tried her mobile again, but it had obviously been switched off. I sent her a text asking her to call me, but I had no idea when she'd pick it up.
Not knowing what else to do, I drove back home. I had work in a few hours. I sent a quick text to Maddie and asked her to keep me informed.
I didn’t hear from Lena, my calls and texts going unanswered. I considered turning up at her office, but Marcus talked me out of it.
I heard from Maddie sporadically, just to say that Lena was alright but not saying much more at the moment. She told me to hang in there and she was sure Lena would talk to me soon. I wasn’t a patient man though, and this was frustrating the hell out of me. Marcus had warned me to give her time but I was reaching my limit.
I was just leaving the gym when my phone began to ring. I switched it to Bluetooth as I started the car and began to drive home.
“Hey Maddie, what's up?"
Her voice came through loud, clear and extremely pissed off.
"What the fuck have you done, Nate?" she de
manded.
"Me?" I asked puzzled and more than a little pissed at her greeting.
She was yelling, upset and agitated so that I could hardly make out what she was saying.
"Woah, woah, wait! Let me pull over!" I steered the car to the side of the road and turned the Bluetooth off, speaking instead through my phone.
"Right, start again, slowly. What the hell are you going on about?"
She cursed, her anger coming clearly down the phone.
"Lena is in bits; her father collapsed today and was taken to hospital. She's falling apart. I've tried to get her to call you, but she just keeps saying how she can't trust you! I can’t get her to talk to me. What the fuck did you do?"
I furrowed my brow in confusion, trying to make sense of what Maddie had said.
"I haven't done anything, What’s wrong with her father? Is she Ok? Why doesn't she trust me? Why has she been avoiding me?" I realised I was interrogating her.
How the fuck should I know?" Maddie snapped back and I heard her sniffle as if she was crying.
"Maddie, I'm sorry babe. Honestly, I'm confused myself. I don't know what's going on, why she won't speak to me and why she would think she can't trust me."
She sighed. "Apparently, the only guy she can trust is Paul. Hopefully that'll help tomorrow." She seemed to be talking more to herself. She tried to apologise for calling, about to end the call, but I stopped her.
"Who the hell is Paul, Maddie?" I asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice.
"Her trainer; he does Krav Maga with her every week."
I nodded thoughtfully even though she couldn't see me.
“I need those details Maddie, send me the address of where she goes.”
She tried to press me for details, reluctant to give me the information. I told her I needed to go, promised her that I was looking out for Lena and told her again to send me the details before ending the call.
I waited for a more moments before my phone beeped, alerting me to an incoming text. I guess it was fight time.
I knew her session was at 6pm, so I got to the gym for around 5.15pm. I had a feeling that I might not be too welcome.