by GL Chapple
The wedding itself had been nice enough, but I couldn’t understand for the life of me what Nate had seen in Clarissa.
She was pretty, with her slim figure and carefully made-up face, but there didn’t seem to be any warmth or joy in her, or maybe that was just with me.
I tried to quell my inner bitch but the sharp remark she’d made back to Gramps still resounded in my mind. She had irritated me; she seemed so nasty and spiteful.
I knew that Nate would have been furious if he’d heard the way she’d spoke to his grandfather, though I doubted she’d have responded the same way if he’d been there.
Her saccharine sweet smiles and continual touching of Nate – that wasn’t just inappropriate; she made me want to get vicious.
I hadn’t really taken to Jonathan, either. It was hard to believe that he and Nate were brothers.
There was a slight resemblance, but Nate was significantly the better option. That wasn’t just me being shallow. Nate was broader, bigger and much better-looking but it was something more.
Nate’s personality shone through, from the wicked glint in his sparkling eyes to his lips that were always turned up in amusement or his laid back easy-going nature. He put you at ease and made you comfortable just by being around him.
Jonathan had none of these qualities. His eyes, even when he smiled at you, seemed lifeless and dull; he had no sparkle or shine. He’d been polite but distant, his laughter forced and his smiles and words insincere.
I was pulled from my thoughts by Maddie ringing the bell. I opened the door and she threw herself into me, holding me in a tight embrace.
She held me for a little while and just as I was about to ask if she was Ok she released me.
“So, how’d it go yesterday?” she asked breezily, pushing past me to get into the house and slouching across the sofa.
I frowned at her. “Are you Ok, Mads?”
She beamed at me but it seemed a little false. “I’m good - just a rough night in work. C’mon, fill me in!”
She patted the seat next to her so I went over to sit. I knew her job could be stressful and upsetting, so I didn’t push her.
I described the wedding to her and told her all about Clarissa and Jonathan. She twisted her mouth in distaste.
“They sound delightful,” she muttered, “perfect for each other!”
“Yeah well, at one time she was perfect for Nate,” I muttered crossly and she turned to me, her eyes wide.
“What?”
“He was engaged to her, they were together for seven years!”
Maddie’s mouth dropped open; she looked stunned.
“What?” She repeated and I scowled, feeling myself become agitated again.
“I know right! What the fuck!”
“And he didn’t tell you?”
I glared at her and she laughed. “Clearly not.”
She shrugged, “Maybe he just didn’t want to make it even more awkward than it was obviously going to be.”
I got up, feeling annoyed. I didn’t need her to defend him. Her role was to agree with what an absolute arsehole he’d been.
“He should have told me, Mads! He forces me to be upfront about everything, drags things out of me that I’ve kept buried for years, makes me confront issues that I don’t want to deal with… how fucking dare he when he’s completely incapable of being honest with me?”
My voice had risen and I realised I was yelling at her. I slumped back down in the chair, “Sorry, I’m just annoyed with him, and myself. I let him off easy. I’m still cross with him.”
She giggled. “I bet he was very persuasive, I think I’d find him pretty hard to stay mad at too,” she gave a wicked laugh and sat down beside me on the sofa. “Don’t bite my head off…” she started and I groaned, knowing she was either going to say something to upset me or anger me further. “Are you really this angry that he didn’t tell you or is jealousy playing a big part here?”
I gave her a sullen look. “He should have told me! What the hell else is he hiding? What other secrets does he have locked way!”
“Did you ask?”
Infuriated I practically growled in response “Yes! I asked him about her too though and he only gave me half a story!”
She held her hands up. “Ok, Ok, Lena, I get you’re pissed. Stop yelling at me. Start at the beginning.”
I sighed and began to tell her the whole story. She sat silently, listening to me patiently, her face betraying her emotions every now and then.
“Nate’s a dumb arsehole for not telling you. I don’t think there was any malice in it though. He’s smitten with you baby girl. I think he was just being a guy and not thinking, to be fair, in his defence, you wouldn’t really expect the fact she was caught screwing around with his brother to come out at the wedding!” She looked at me in horror, her expression causing me to burst into laugher despite my sour mood.
“She was so poised and elegant too,” I said shaking my head.
“Dirty bitch!” We both said at the same time, Maddie spluttered making us both collapse into giggles. It was cathartic and I felt lighter. Paul was right; sometimes embracing your inner bitch felt pretty damn good.
Despite my early night I was still exhausted getting up for work on Monday. The last few days had been stressful, Paul’s words from our last session rolling around in my head, taunting me; his definition of fear eating away at me.
The wedding had proved a welcome distraction, but getting back to work, seeing Byron nod at me, informing me that he’d let me get settled before coming up to talk, brought the reality back.
I sat at my desk waiting nervously for Byron, shifting papers around, trying to tidy my desk.
He knocked and I called him in, struggling to get past the lump of dread that had formed in my throat.
He smiled kindly and sat in the seat across from me. He cut straight to it without any small talk.
“I’ve found him, Ms. Nicholls.”
I’m sure I’d known in my mind, that this was what he was going to say but I felt winded. The room suddenly seemed too small, as if all the oxygen had been taken out.
I nodded, trying to buy myself a moment to compose myself. I couldn’t breathe, let alone speak
He seemed to anticipate this response and sat patiently. My mind was whirling, so many emotions and thoughts going round I couldn’t catch hold of one.
“I need his address,” came out of my mouth before I realised, startling me.
Byron was watching me intently; his shrewd eyes seemed to be trying to read my mind.
I turned away from him, shielding myself from his prying.
“I don’t want to speak out of turn here Ms Nicholls but I’m not happy to give you his address unless I can guarantee your safety. I’d rather take you to see him myself. Won’t you tell me why you believe it to be this man?”
I chewed my lip, a nervous habit I’d picked up from Maddie, stalling,
“I don’t even know if it is this person yet, Byron.”
He nodded. “If you’d let me know your reasons, I could investigate further, take it up directly with him myself and get you the answers.”
I knew Byron was trying to be helpful and I should appreciate his offer of help, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Paul had said.
Maybe I had just run away and not dealt with anything, maybe I wouldn’t be able to move on completely without dealing with this. Did I need to confront this head on?
The thought of seeing him again made me feel sick; my hands had started shaking at the mere thought and I could feel a cold sweat breaking out over my skin.
“I need to make a call. Could you wait outside for a second?”
It was a demand more than a question and Byron rose instantly.
Without giving myself a chance to think I picked up my phone and dialled. My hands were trembling so much it took two attempts to get it right.
He answered on the third ring, sounding concerned as soon as he heard my voice. I told him I had the address
details.
“Ok… so what do you want to do…” I shook my head before realising he couldn’t see me.
My voice was almost a whisper, as if my common sense was trying to stop me from making a huge mistake.
“I don’t want to run anymore, Paul.”
He arrived at my office within half an hour, not giving me much time to second-guess myself or for my common sense to finally prevail.
He walked into the office and shook hands with Byron.
They looked each other over, each clearly sizing the other up, before they both sat comfortably in their chairs.
“Service?” Paul asked Byron, who nodded but didn’t answer the implied question, responding instead with, “You?” Paul gave him a cocky look before turning back to me.
“Fucking hell, guys! Just whip them out and I’ll get you a bloody ruler!” I muttered in irritation.
Paul chuckled to himself as Byron sat looking disgruntled.
“Byron, I’d like the address. Paul will come with me so I’ll have backup.”
Byron pulled a face, clearly unhappy with my request but I cut him off before he could speak.
“As your employer I have asked you to provide me with information not question me on my intended use of it. I appreciate that you had my well being as a concern, but Paul’s presence should reassure you.”
He looked uncomfortable. “Ms. Nicholls, I’m not happy…”
I cut him off mid-sentence “Your happiness is not my concern, Byron. Please don’t take my asking for the address as a request. It’s not. Give the address to Paul and leave please. Thank you for getting the information.”
He stood stiffly and reaching into his pocket pulled out a folded sheet of paper, “Are you sure you’d not rather have me accompany you Miss Nicholls? I’d prefer to take you…”
I shook my head and he stopped speaking. “Thank you, Byron, but no.”
He handed it to Paul and stared at him for a long moment before walking out. No words were exchanged but the implications were made abundantly clear.
I had no doubt that he would call my father once he’d left; as soon as the door closed, I stood.
“We need to get out of here c’mon” My adrenaline had taken over for the moment and rational thinking had been pushed aside.
We went down to the car park and got in my car, my only thought being to get away from the office.
I drove a few miles down the road not really knowing where I was driving too. Pulling over, I stopped the car and looked at Paul in a panic.
“What am I doing?” I felt myself start to hyperventilate.
He reached over, clutching my hand and squeezing it.
“Listen to me, Lena, listen! Breathe, girl breathe! Come on, in and out, in and out.”
I tried to focus on his voice, my heartbeat going a million miles an hour. Slowly my panic began to subside.
“What do you want to do, Lena, I’m not going to force you into anything. This is all you. If you want to go and see him, I’ll come. If you want to head home that’s fine too.”
“But you said I needed to confront him.” My voice was a small whisper and Paul shook his head.
“Lena, I said you needed to deal with this. You need to confront the issue head on, not necessarily him. You need to decide what that means for you - whether its reporting and getting it investigated, whether it’s going to see him, getting yourself some counselling or whatever else, it’s all up to you, Lena. You can control and decide what you want to do.”
“But you came. You left the gym. I pulled you away from there, I’m sorry.”
He smiled at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“Lena, I told you I’d be there for you. I came because you were clearly upset. You called me. You only ever have to call me.”
He leaned over and pulled me towards him, both hands on the side of my face as he kissed the top of my head.
“You remind me so much of my daughter, I hate to see you upset like this. We are friends and I’ll always look out for you Lena. I’ll always be there if you call.”
A lone tear rolled down my cheek. “I can’t do it” I whispered.
He gave my knee a gentle squeeze. “Then let’s head back” I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.
“Shall we put the radio on so you don’t have to listen to yourself mentally beating yourself up?” He broke into my thoughts and I gave him a grateful smile.
We drove back towards the office where Paul could jump back in his car and get to the gym and I could have a quick word with Byron. I hoped he hadn’t called my father and worried him unnecessarily.
Maybe the sensible thing to do would be to leave it in his hands after all. I just didn’t relish the thought of having to tell my tale to another party.
Distracted, I tried to think what I could say instead, when I realised what song was playing. I smiled sadly. I was just about to speak when my phone rang, the music cutting out as it switched to the phone and Nate’s voice came through the stereo.
He sounded concerned, “Hey, Princess, where are you? Your father just called me. He sounded upset and wanted to check if you were with me. What’s up?”
I glanced across at Paul as I wondered what to say. The flash of colour caught my eye; a split second later I realised what was happening and screamed his name but it was too late for either of us to react.
Before Paul could respond, his body was flung towards me as the car slammed into the side of us, propelling me violently to the side.
My head crashed against the window, the airbag deployed and I felt my head smash back into it as the car spun wildly, throwing us about.
I couldn’t make anything out; it was all a blur of colour and noise. We came to an abrupt stop and I struggled to focus, confused.
I could feel wet on me; I could feel something running down the side of my face. I could vaguely make out noises, the screech of other cars’ brakes, engines running, people crying and shouting.
I could hear the noises, but it was as if I was underwater, everything was distorted.
I realised the phone had disconnected; Nate would be worried, I’d need to call him back. I tried to call out to Paul, but I couldn’t make a sound. I tried again as I felt slowly sinking into the darkness.
The music had come back on, music playing as I felt myself drifting away, too weak to fight anymore, letting the black swallow me up.
Nate
I should have told Lena everything about Clarissa. I don’t really know why I hadn’t. I’d never meant to hurt her. The anger, her yelling and cursing me I could cope with but the genuine hurt in her eyes had bothered me. I’d need to make things better. She had come round, but I knew that she was still annoyed and upset with me.
As I sat at my desk in work, Marcus poked his head around the door. I’d spoken to him the previous afternoon and caught him up on the news from the day before.
Just as he was about to acknowledge him, my mobile rang, I held my hand up to him as I answered. It was Michael and he sounded anxious, his nerves obvious as he asked if Lena was with me.
Confused, I explained that I was in work and asked him why he was ringing, but he declined to say, failing to reassure me that all was Ok before hanging up.
“Everything alright?” Marcus asked looking at my face.
Perplexed I stared back, “I’m not sure, gimme a sec.”
I felt uneasy, I dialled Lena and immediately felt better as she answered, I explained that her father had been trying to get hold of her and asked where she was.
The next thing I heard was Lena screaming Paul’s name. My heart stopped, her panic-filled scream squeezing the breath from my lungs.
Marcus jerked his head up at the sound of her voice coming through my phone, followed by the noises that I’d imagined so many times since my parents’ deaths - the screech of brakes, loud noises, indistinguishable bangs and thumps, the sound of metal on metal.
Lena hadn’t made another sound and my f
ace must have shown my fear as Marcus came racing up to the desk, standing in front of me, concern written all over his face.
I realised I was yelling her name into the phone, but it had cut off.
I looked at Marcus, my panic affecting my reactions. I tried to redial but it went straight to answerphone.
I felt sick; my hands were sweaty and shaking.
“Nate, Nate!” I looked at him, dazed. “What’s happened?”
I shook my head, trying to clear the dread that was clawing away at me.
“She’s been in a crash… I heard a crash. I just fucking heard it! Fuck! I can’t get hold of her!”
Before he could respond, I flew up out of my seat grabbing my keys.
“Where are you going?” Marcus shouted after me, but I needed to keep moving.
I needed to get to her and make sure she was alright. I wasn’t going to lose her.
He tried to catch hold of my arm but I shook him off, bursting out the door and sprinting down the corridor as my heart thundered in my chest.
I heard my name being called but ignored it; the only person on my mind was Lena. I had to get to her; she had to be ok. This couldn’t be happening to me again.
To Be Continued …
Playlist
Beautifully Broken – Ashlee Simpson
Shower – Becky G
One Republic – I lived
Masterpiece – Jessie J
Numb – Usher
Everything – Buckcherry
Fight for you – Jason Derulo
Please don’t leave me – Pink
I just want you – Cole Swindell
Never gonna be alone – Nickleback
Matchbox twenty – Angry
Parachute – James Durbin
Not a bad thing – Justin Timberlake
Heartbeat Song – Kelly Clarkson
I really hope that you’ve enjoyed the first instalment in Nate and Lena’s story.
The conclusion of their story has been completed in rough draft and I hope to have it released to you shortly.
I have a team on Facebook which I’d love you to consider joining; “Chapple’s Champs” This is a fabulous group of people that support each other, have fun and are privy to sneaky excerpts, snippets and teasers before anyone else. It’s a great way from me to be able to connect with you and make new friendships.