by Cal, Sarah
Resolving to look upstairs last, she went into the kitchen. Merry had mentioned being hungry. They had food, but along with everything else, her appetite had grown poor, and the situation only made it worse. When she could, Emma made sure Merry had something to eat, no matter how little, but she still wasn’t sure what had happened in the near week she had been away. But Merry wasn’t in the kitchen, though the back door was open and she stepped outside to find her in the garden.
She was just sitting down with her legs crossed, staring off into space. As Emma got closer, she saw some dirt on her hands, so she must have been working on the garden before Emma got there. How long had Merry been awake? How long had she been out there? Emma eyed the threadbare clothes she wore, and worried about her being cold.
Merry must have noticed someone else was nearby because she looked up and met Emma's eyes. Her expression was blank, but she looked calm. Emma approached her with a small smile.
"Hey, Merry. Could you come in for a sec? I have someone in the living room that's come to see you and she wants to talk to you."
Merry gave her a long stare. But instead of arguing or going back to whatever she had been doing, she wordlessly got up and followed Emma inside. She was practically docile, and as much as it made things easier, it was so unlike her usual self that it worried Emma. She couldn’t read anything from her sister's non-expression, which hadn't changed. But when she walked in the living room and caught sight of their guests, her eyes narrowed slightly. If Emma hadn't been watching out for it, she would have missed it.
They sat down, Merry hunching in on herself a little, but she kept her gaze steady on the other two women in the room.
"Hello," she said, almost pleasantly, only there was no inflection in her voice.
Barbara didn’t seem to mind, giving Merry a genuine smile. "Hello Merry. I'm Barbara, and this is my sister Carol. Your sister has been telling me a few things about you, but how about you tell me something? Like, what's your favorite color?"
Emma arched her eyebrows, surprised, but didn’t say anything. She shot a look at Carol who just had her eyes trained on Merry, watching her intently. Emma wasn’t sure if the small talk served any purpose, she wasn’t the expert here, but Merry rejected it either way, as expected.
Her sister leaned back on the chair, folding her arms across her chest. "Why do you want to know," she countered suspiciously.
"I'd just like to know a bit more about you," Barbara answered smoothly, tone low and soothing. "How about a hobby, or your favorite song, that you remember?"
Merry sniffed and looked away. "Neither."
That was a lie. Merry sometimes hummed to herself. Emma wasn’t sure what songs, it was always too low for her to hear, but it definitely happened. As for hobbies, there were her drawings and paintings. But Emma didn’t interfere, firming her jaw, resolving to keep her mouth shut for once. She didn’t know what was going on, but she hoped Barbara did.
Still, Barbara didn’t seem put out by Merry's behavior. She continued to try and get something out of Merry, but it wasn’t working, Merry rebuffing her out of every turn, refusing to answer or making some snide comment. Eventually, her sister grew tired of the line of conversation.
"Tell me something, Barbara. Why are you really here?" She turned piercing eyes to the other woman, an intelligence in her them that she usually hid.
Barbara wasn't fazed. "I want to help you."
Merry's eyes narrowed some more, and she sent a look at Emma. She forced herself not to fidget, meeting her sister's calculating gaze blandly, until she looked away, back to Barbara.
"I'm not crazy," she insisted. "Whatever my little sister told you, don’t listen to her. She doesn’t know anything, and Emma is a liar."
Emma winced, wondering why her sister even jumped to that conclusion. As if Emma went around telling people her sister was crazy. But Emma didn’t talk about Merry at all. Not a lot of people out of their neighborhood, some even within it, knew Emma had a sister. She hadn't even given Chase too much of a warning when she first invited him home. He'd been surprised, and Emma had expected him to never want to stop by her house again, but he adjusted easily.
She could have been angry about Merry's words, except she had lied plenty of times, to a lot of people, her family included, so it wasn’t exactly a lie. Besides, reacting to everything Merry said was allowing herself to get baited instead of acting like the adult she truly was. Merry would just make fun of her for reacting, and the baiting wouldn’t stop.
"Why don’t you let me judge that for myself once I know more, hmm?"
Merry held herself stiffly for a moment, before letting out a gust of air and slumping back in the seat, arms lessening their protective hold around her body, but not retreating. It was a win. A small one, but it counted with Merry.
"Do you suffer from nightmares?"
Merry grew quiet and thoughtful. She was still for a few seconds, and then she was nodding slowly. "I do," she admitted, then went on to describe her recurring dream. "I keep seeing them die, over and over. I told them I had a bad feeling about it and I asked them not to go for the trip. I didn’t want to be left behind, though, so I went when they insisted on it. I was there, and I saw everything when... it happened."
If her face wasn’t already pasty, Emma would have worried Merry looked a little sick. Her sister didn’t talk a lot about that last trip. To be fair, Emma hadn't wanted to talk about it. But then she didn’t have a lot of memories of what happened besides what she was told when she woke up in a hospital and wasn’t in any hurry to remember. Merry must have felt so alone, and had been, in her memories and her nightmares.
"I also have visions that come to me in my sleep," she went on to explain. "Such as the coming apocalypse... I knew the crash was going to happen, and Emma was going to be in the middle of it. And there was the one where I just knew Emma would be in danger. That one is probably the most common, actually. Ever since the day of the crash it's like... she was meant to die that day and she's been in so many positions and situations where she would have ended up dead, but so far she hasn’t. Only, when more situations like that keep coming up the more she evades them."
Emma felt a chill run down her spine and she stiffened in her seat. There is no way they could be real. She repeated the words over and over in her mind, because they were true. Even if she had been in danger a lot of times, she hadn't died yet. And the situations she found herself in could have happened to anybody. She had sustained quite a few injuries. Her cheek had been taken care of, thankfully. It wasn’t completely healed, and she only occasionally felt a phantom ache there. Actually, it was the only time she had gotten injured.
But I haven't died yet. There was no way Merry's visions could be real.
"All right, Merry," Barbara murmured soothingly, even though her sister didn’t look to be in any form of distress. "I believe you when you say you have visions."
Merry snorted. "That makes you the only one."
Barbara ignored her quip. "Going back a little, Merry. You mentioned the dreams. Do you want the nightmares to go away?"
It was a simple question, but it had Merry stilling where she sat. It was a different kind of stillness, and Emma wasn’t sure how she noticed. But she turned to her sister, saw her eyes had widened a little and there was some excitement behind them. She leaned forward, slowly, until she was leaning a little forward instead of back against the couch.
"Can you make them go away?" Merry asked tightly, a note of desperation in her voice. "If you can, I really want them to stop. I have been having the same dream, with variations, for ten years and I just want it to stop."
A tear slid out of one eye, and Emma was surprised and alarmed enough to lean toward her sister, but didn’t touch her. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but she made herself not interfere until she had to. This was too important for her to ruin it because she wasn’t thinking.
"I don’t want to keep seeing my parents die over and over. You're a doctor
, aren’t you? Please give me something to help me," she begged.
Emma wasn’t sure how Merry figured that out, but watching her sister beg for anything had her heart breaking into pieces. Even though she looked frail, Merry was good at putting up a strong front. It had been broken several times in Emma's presence, but Merry never let it happen in front of anyone outside of the family. Sometimes, not even around Janice. That she acted like this in front of strangers...
Maybe, they really hadn't made the best idea not letting Merry get help before. With how she was reacting right now, she would have appreciated it, no matter how much she protested. It could have been better for her. But there was no way to know, now, and Emma felt guilty for it.
Barbara got up from her seat, walked around the coffee table to crouch in front of Merry and took both of her hands, giving them a careful squeeze as she met Merry's eyes head on.
"I will see what I can do and return when I have a suitable drug," she said.
They had a short staring contest, neither of them blinking or looking away. Then Merry did blink, and she nodded slowly. Barbara looked pleased, and she gave Merry a light pat on the shoulder.
"Good," she said simply, and pushed to her feet.
Emma got up when she noticed Carol doing the same thing, and followed the two women to the door. Merry stayed behind, and Emma looked over her shoulder to find her sister had curled herself at the end of the seat, legs raised up on the seat with her arms around her chest and resting her forehead on her knees. They stepped outside the house and Emma left the door partially closed.
"So you can help her?" she asked hopefully.
Barbara smiled. "You don’t have to worry—I'll start Merry on a course of drugs that will help her out. It's best that she starts the treatment on her own, and I'm hoping because she agreed to it, that she will keep on it. If we can get rid of the nightmares, it's her biggest road block to recovery removed, and we can progress easier from there. Don’t leave her alone for the rest of the day. I have some idea of what to give her, but we'll see tomorrow if I can get my hands on it or not."
Emma nodded, feeling her eyes tear up a little at the possibility of getting her older sister back, after so many years of worrying about Merry's condition.
"Thank you both, so much. You have no idea what all this means to me. I don’t know how I'll ever repay you."
Carol stepped forward to give her a hug. "You can start by looking after yourself and your family as best as you can. I'll see you tomorrow for work."
Barbara gave her a wave as the sisters went down the street, and she just stood there for a moment to watch them walk away, before going back inside.
Emma shut the door, feeling more relaxed than she had in ages, and went to take care of her sister.
Chapter 19
Emma wasn’t sure what woke her, but when she opened her eyes, it was dark in the room, so it must have been the middle of the night. She didn’t even feel rested, and she wondered how many hours of sleep she'd gotten. Groaning, she went to move, only to be stopped by something wrapped around her middle.
For about a second, she wasn’t sure what it was. She forgot herself and nearly panicked until her mind caught up.
Chase.
They still slept in the same room, in the same bed. Somehow, after that first night, they'd just grown into the habit, and now Emma could barely fall asleep when he wasn’t there, unless she was really exhausted. She had gotten too used to having him there, and if he ever had to leave, she would be devastated.
They didn’t always end up cuddling in the night, but Emma had long since stopped feeling awkward about it. By Chase's words, there was nothing to be awkward about. Either one or both of them would move unconsciously in the night, seeking warmth, and wake up entangled. There weren’t that many opportunities for awkward moments, anyway, since one of them usually woke up before the other and was gone by the time the other woke up as well.
Besides, there wasn’t really any other place for him to sleep, besides the couch, and Chase was too big for it to be comfortable for him. He didn’t offer to move to the couch, and Emma didn’t ask him to find somewhere else to sleep.
She caught his wrist and tried to pull his arm off, only his grip got tighter the more she tugged, and she groaned again, squirming to get away.
"Chase?" she called softly, reaching behind her to shake his shoulder. "Can you let go for a bit? Please?"
He murmured something that was muffled by the pillow his face was pressed into. She shook him a little more before she heard him heave a heavy sigh, then his arm was pulling away from her. Relieved, Emma slipped off the bed.
The relief didn’t last long, and she froze, her heart going still in her chest, when she heard a disturbance from downstairs. Then her heart picked up speed and she listened carefully.
Could that have been what woke her up? She tried to remember if they had left anything, even the windows open, but she was thorough when she checked everything before going to sleep. When she didn’t lock up, Chase did, and he was just as thorough. She glanced back at him, but in the darkness of the room, all she could see was the dark lump on his body still lying on the bed. He was lying so still, he must have gone back to sleep already. She debated waking him, but decided against it and left the room, but leaving the bedroom door open.
She crept downstairs to see what had happened. Maybe an animal had found its way inside or something, and it was scavenging for food. She got part way down the stairs, and found that Janice was wandering around on her own. There was enough light to see, but Emma noticed the dark shape moving around. She knew it was her because of the body shape—she was too short, and slightly plump, to be Merry. It didn’t look like she had any direction in mind.
Feeling relief again, she hurried back to the room. There was a candle that always slept on her nightstand, with a box of matches right next to it. After using it for so long, its size had gotten considerably smaller. They didn’t have many left, but as long as they used one for just a little at a time and went to sleep before it got too dark, they could make them last a while. They had even started using Merry's scented candles because they were bigger and intended to burn for longer.
She felt around for both items, lit up the candle and made her way back down the stairs. Now that she could see, Emma noticed Janice looking dazed and confused, her gaze looking up at the sudden light coming into the room.
Emma felt her heart clench. She knew what that look meant. It had been a while since she had seen it, and she felt bad that she had ever forgotten that their grandmother had problems, too. How long had Janice been awake and on her own before she woke Emma up? And how could she even move around in the dark. She could have hurt herself.
She set the candle down and carefully approached her grandmother, who was watching her warily, to help her back to her room and back to bed.
"Hey, Grandma. You're up late," she said conversationally. "Why don't you come upstairs with me and we can put you back to bed, hmm?"
She reached for the older woman to guide her upstairs, but Janice slapped her hand away.
"Who are you and what are you doing here? Why is there a stranger in my house?"
Emma just watched her grandmother, shocked, holding her stinging hand to her chest. It hadn't exactly hurt to get a tiny slap on the back of her hand, but that her grandmother would...
Usually, when she forgot things and got confused, Emma could talk her down and remind her, or at least appease her for the moment. Her grandmother was sweet, and the times she was confused, she had only ever shown curiosity. Emma watched her obvious agitation and distrust, and knew this was nothing like all the previous times. Janice looked like she didn’t even want Emma to get near her, like Emma was dangerous. And it hurt.
Emma couldn’t help it. She felt the tears in her eyes, and in the next second she was sobbing uncontrollably. It wasn’t quiet either, but she couldn’t bring herself to regulate the noise, even knowing Chase and her sister were sti
ll sleeping, and they would both wake up freaking out if they heard her.
But there was no way Emma could just not cry. Her grandmother had been slowly getting worse over the years, but Emma could only worry silently because she didn’t want to worry Janice. Now all she could do was give into her grief. Because it was bad now, but she could easily imagine having to live with this for days and it hurt, so much. Because the woman before her reminded her of Janice back when their mother was still alive and the two didn’t get along all that well. They had never been this openly hostile in front of them, but sometimes Emma would see it, and wonder why they still met their grandmother when her mom acted like she couldn’t stand her half the time.
Did Janice even remember she had grandchildren? Did she remember the accident? Just how far had her memory regressed.
Not long after, there was some noise from the floor above them, and Emma turned in time to see Chase rushing down the stairs. Janice turned as she did and caught sight of him, too, bringing her arms up to clutch at the neckline of her nightgown, looking even more distressed.
"Another one!" Janice exclaimed. "Are there more of you! What are you people doing in my house?"
Technically it wasn't Janice’s house. It was all she could think as she watched her grandmother through her tears. The house had been her parents', but how could Janice remember the house and forget about them? How far had she regressed, and would she be coming back from it? If she did, then when? Just like Merry, her grandmother was deteriorating.
How could she have forgotten that?
Chase looked confused between the two of them. His look lingered more on Emma, and she knew his first instinct was to offer her comfort, but there was clearly something wrong with her grandmother, and he knew Emma would want him to see to her first. He took in the situation in a moment and jumped in to help Emma out.