by Devon Hart
That’s what made Lazarus such a great opportunity, why my father passed the keys. My dick and heart were disconnected. Emotional entanglements were never an issue, and if a woman got too attached, she was banned from the club. I’ve been walking around in a goddamned stupor for eight years, like a zombie on The Walking Dead.
I dial her cell, but she doesn’t answer. I try again and again. Finally, I text.
You love me.
LOVED, she shoots back.
Why didn’t you tell me?
Wouldn’t have made a difference, I moved.
Should have given me a chance.
She doesn’t respond, and I drive home wondering what the fuck I’m going to do.
Chapter 19
Erin
Foster Wagner makes me feel things that leave me questioning my whole outlook on life. I’ve been a devoted daughter, responsible member of my community, and surely safeguarded my reputation better than most women I know. Not necessarily by choice, but because I’ve been too terrified to love someone after Foster. And now Thomas has threatened to take that freedom away from me.
I can’t hold everything in anymore. Katie is meeting me at Cole Park for a beach-side lunch and I plan on letting my heart bleed. I’m already sitting at our favorite table, watching the seagulls dip and dive for food and glide on the wind. I wish I had wings. I’d fly away. In fact, this is the first time I’ve considered leaving home. I have friends in Baton Rouge and Summerville, South Carolina, who’ve begged me to relocate.
I check the parking lot just as Katie’s SUV pulls in. She’s my only lifeline right now. Everyone else wants something from me. She gets out of her vehicle and waves.
“Playing hooky and lunch at the park?” she asks as she sits across from me. “You look tired. What’s going on?”
I open the wicker picnic basket and dig out a couple yogurts, green grapes, sharp cheddar cheese slices, and peaches. “Want a Diet Coke or iced tea?”
“Tea.”
I slide a bottle her way. “I wasn’t completely honest with you at the party last night.”
“Duh.”
I raise an eyebrow. “What?”
“You distanced yourself after you returned from your walk.”
“Guess I did.” I had a good cry after I left the gazebo. I did my best to dry my eyes and put on my happy face, but apparently Katie and Foster are observant enough to know when I’m upset.
“Did you put that asshole in his place finally?”
“No.”
“Why?”
I swallow, searching for the right words to explain the unique situation I’m in. “Family obligations are a big part of the reason my parents want me to marry him.”
“Family obligations?” she repeats. “Are you part of the royal family?”
“Of course not.”
“Then the only duty you have is to find someone who makes you happy.”
“He’s blackmailing us.”
She drops her spoon in the yogurt container. “Go to the police.”
“That’s not how things are done, Katie.”
“Bullshit. Last time I checked, extortion was a felony.”
“My father is a compulsive gambler.”
“Oh crap.”
“If I refuse Thomas, his father will seize control of Covington Industries. We’ll lose everything.”
She rests her elbows on the table and leans forward. “You mean Robert and Meredith will lose everything. You still have a life.”
“The media will eat us alive.”
“You’re not responsible for the sins of your father.”
I breathe out heavily. My life is unraveling so fast I can’t keep up. “I wanted to choke Thomas last night. His blatant disregard for my feelings and my father’s reputation demonstrated what a cold-hearted man he is.”
“I’ll have a little talk with Kingsley” She fishes her cell out of her purse. “Give me his number.”
I reach across the table and pat her hand. “I appreciate your offer. Nothing will change his mind. He admitted he always wanted me.”
“So does Foster Wagner, who by the way, is probably in love with you.”
“Don’t complicate things. He likes me, a lot.”
“Whatever, Erin. Keep denying it, you’ll find out soon enough.”
“I doubt we’ll ever speak again.” I share what happened last night.
“You loved him?”
“Very much.”
“Have your feelings changed?”
I avert my eyes, focusing on the grayish-blue water. Spending time with him again, laughing, kissing, almost making love, and just knowing he’s close . . . My feelings haven’t changed at all. In fact, they’ve grown. “No.”
“Oh. My. God.” She gives me a sad look. “He’s a hot-shot executive. Ask for help. I’m sure he knows people. Let him deal with Thomas.”
The thought crossed my mind last night. But I can’t involve anyone outside the family. Besides, all I have left is my pride. And I refuse to beg. The simple solution is to marry Thomas and carve out a tolerable existence as a Kingsley. Maybe we’ll divorce in a few years and I can start over again. “I can’t.” I pop a grape into my mouth.
“Negotiate with Thomas.”
“What do I have to offer as consolation? My store? There’s the lakefront property in Sandia, a hundred acres, but it’s not worth much.”
“Isn’t there a cabin on it?”
“Yes, my grandfather loved to fish and hunt.”
I can see the wheels spinning inside her head. She’s a problem solver. “I can’t picture that wuss doing either.”
I giggle. “Probably not.” A nervous knot forms in my belly once I realize what few assets I have. My condo is paid for, but Thomas would never want it. And my business is worth so little. All-in-all, I might be able to raise a quarter million. “Admit it,” I say, “I’m screwed.”
“What about Jeffrey?”
“You’re not suggesting . . .?”
“Asking him for money? Hell no. In reference to Lazarus.”
“It’s the one bright spot left.”
“I want you to be happy, Erin. Lord knows you’ll need something to get you through the next few years.”
I agree, but I still hate the feeling of defeat.
Foster
“Believing natural gas will continue to play a critical role in global energy needs, Quantum Energy made its first major acquisition in five years, purchasing Santigram Systems, Inc., for $26 billion. As one the United States’ largest publicly traded oil companies, the deal opens up new opportunities for Quantum Energy to focus on natural gas being discovered in dense rock formations around the world . . .”
I’m only half-listening to the young executive reading the latest spotlight from the Oil and Gas Journal at our monthly staff luncheon. Three bottles of champagne are waiting to be served, and I’m supposed to make a toast. Yes, I had a big part in closing this deal, but my thoughts are invested elsewhere.
Erin Covington.
“Congratulations, Mr. Wagner,” Tasha, one of our newest interns, smiles at me.
She’s nineteen and has a body to die for but she’s no different than most of the women willing to lift their skirts. In fact, she cornered me in the executive bathroom last Monday and offered me a blow job. How can she play so innocent now? Maybe she takes acting classes, too.
“Mr. Wagner?”
I look up. “Yes, Ms. Rosen?”
“Would you like to say something?”
“Of course.” I adjust my tie and stand. “First, I’d like to extend my gratitude to my team.” My gaze sweeps over my personal staff of six. “None of this would be possible without you. But our work isn’t do
ne. With development spending on the rise in Norway, the country’s service sector is already operating at full capacity.”
I hear a couple excited gasps.
I grin. “I know, I know. There’s going to be heavy competition to see who makes the initial team to travel to the North Sea region. Our greatest challenge is convincing the Scandinavians we possess technologies that can save them time and money.”
“What’s our strategy, boss?” Tyrone asks, rubbing his hands together.
“I’ve spoken with the Minister of Petroleum and Energy several times over the last two weeks. He reminded me that the country’s main objective is to ensure creation of environment-friendly management of their energy resources. This is a major opportunity for us to improve our Quality Assurance and Quality Control programs. Get suggestions on my desk by next Friday, okay?” I wait for acknowledgement. “Good. Now eat. You deserve to celebrate.”
I grab a sesame seed bagel and a foil packet of cream cheese off the conference table and head to my office. I’m not in the mood to socialize. I check my cell for missed calls or a text from Erin. Nothing. Should I reach out? The last time I waited, she left, and I’ve already promised myself that’s never going to happen again.
Restless and sick of waiting for her to contact me, I grab my car keys and walk to the reception area. “Cancel my afternoon appointments, Amanda. I’ll return tomorrow.”
“Yes, sir.” She doesn’t question me.
I rush to the garage. I’m making an unannounced stop at the bookstore.
Thirty minutes later, I park in Moore Plaza. It’s windy as I walk. Maybe a cold front is blowing in. I gaze up at sky before I enter her store. Dark clouds are rolling in. I welcome the colder weather.
“Mr. Wagner.” Mary meets me at the door.
“It’s nice to see you again. How’s business?”
“Honestly? We’ve been incredibly busy lately.”
I’ve heard that members of Lazarus have been frequenting the shop. “Glad to hear it. Is Erin available?”
“She’s at lunch.”
“With Katie?” I scan the area for her best friend.
“No.”
Her voice is shaky. What is she hiding? “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, great, actually.”
I don’t like her answer. “Where did she go?”
“I’m not sure I should—”
“Mary.” I touch her arm. “I’ve known Erin for a long time. Trust me.”
She sighs, then offers a weak smile. “Macaroni Grill, across the parking lot.”
I kiss her cheek and leave.
The lunch crowd has thinned out. It’s after one. I check the main dining area. There’re a few tables with people, but no Erin. A hostess stops me halfway to the bar.
“Can I get you a table?” She leans close, and her breast skims my arm.
Her flirty manners are something I used to appreciate in a pretty girl. “No, I’m looking for a friend.”
I find Erin sitting at a high top with Jeffrey, their backs to me. My hands instantly fist at my sides. I don’t know what to think. Seeing her with another man, especially one from the club, pisses me off. Her beautiful laughter should be reserved for me. And that body . . . I take in her form, posture perfect, long blond hair cascading down her back. Her aqua-colored blouse hangs off her left shoulder, revealing a hint of creamy skin. She’s wearing tight jeans and black boots. My throat goes dry. Meeting Jeffrey outside Lazarus isn’t something I anticipated. Fuck.
Their stools are too close, arms touching. What in the hell is he doing? My first instinct? Pluck Jeffrey off his perch and punch him. But I swallow my rage and search for a table where they won’t see me. I find one, hidden behind a white pillar decorated with plastic ivy. I sit and wait for a server.
“Would you like a menu?” he asks, setting a glass of ice water in front of me.
“No. I’ll have a glass of red wine and lasagna.”
“Five-cheese lasagna, sausage, hamburger . . .”
“Bring me whatever you like best.”
He nods and takes off.
It’s time to break up the party. I text Erin. We need to chat.
Half a minute later, she shifts on her stool. She must be checking her mail. Not now.
Don’t play games with me.
I’ve been completely honest, she shoots back.
Where are you?
At work.
I frown. Do you have company?
Yes, can’t talk.
Go somewhere private. Now.
I wait, and she flips her hair to one side, then touches Jeffrey’s back. I cringe. Next she grabs her purse off the table and heads for the bathrooms on the far side of the bar.
I count to thirty, then follow.
I open the door to the restroom. There’s a small entryway with vanities on both sides, no one is inside. I let the first door close, then open the second, which leads to the sinks and stalls. It’s a fairly large space, with tiled walls and soft lights. I find Erin in a corner, working the buttons on her cell.
“I don’t like seeing you out with another man.”
She whirls around, shock and irritation on her face. “Good God.” She covers her heart with her hand. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Good place to do that.”
She shakes her head. “Not funny.”
I tip her chin. “Look at me, Erin.”
Intense blue eyes meet mine. “Why are you here?” she asks.
“I stopped by the store.”
“Mary?”
“Don’t get mad, I make her nervous.”
She nods as if she understands. “You make me . . .”
“Finish.”
“No.” She retreats a step.
I lean in and rest my palms on the wall on either side of her face, breathing in the fragrance in her hair. “I don’t like where we left off, Erin.”
Her cheeks flush. “Maybe if you’d shown up a year ago, even six months, things might be different. But you didn’t.”
“I’m here now.”
Moments pass without words. I could get lost in her eyes forever. And I love the soft rhythmic sound of her breath. She’s desperate to get away because she knows she’s as drawn to me as I am to her.
“It doesn’t change anything. I have to marry Thomas.”
“Bullshit.” I say it louder and harsher than I intended. But fuck, what is she thinking? Why? “I won’t let you.”
“You can’t keep showing up, Foster. I need to stay focused.”
“What about the man you’re having lunch with? Who is he?”
“Just a friend.” She looks away.
Another lie. She thinks she’s going to fuck Jeffrey and the guilt is consuming her. She can’t even look at me when she mentions him. “A friend?”
“No one you’d know.”
I snatch her hand. “Why don’t you introduce me?”
“No!” She tries to wiggle free, but I hold tight.
“I want you.” I dip my head, grazing her soft lips with mine.
“Feel it?” The bolt of fucking lightning that strikes every time our lips meet. The air is thick with tension, and I’m not sure I can contain my deepest feelings anymore. “Tell me to leave.”
Her shoulders sag and her purse straps slip down her arm. I tug it off, letting it hit the floor. I stash her cell phone in my jacket pocket, then press her against the wall, spreading her legs with my knee, cupping her face with my right hand. She nuzzles my palm, and blood rushes into my cock. With a whisper of a touch, she caresses my arm.
Why has she waited all this time to love someone? She reeks of need and lust. And the longer she deprives herself, the more Thomas be
comes an existential threat.
I palm her stomach, loving how soft she is, how I can feel the heat radiating off her skin through her clothes. “Let me take you out of here. There’s a back door in the kitchen.”
She shivers against me and I take it as an open invitation. Our lips crash together and my tongue knifes into her sweet mouth.
Seconds later I hear a cough and break the kiss on a curse. I turn around, shielding Erin with my body.
“This is a family restaurant.” The middle-aged woman crosses her arms over her chest, clearly offended.
“And quite a public one,” I say, frowning at the intrusion. I turn back to Erin, her cheeks scarlet. “Splash some cold water on your face and meet me outside in five minutes, okay?”
“B-But . . .”
“I’ll take care of your date.” It’s not open for discussion.
I pick her purse off the floor and return her cell phone. “Five minutes,” I remind her.
With ardent strides I approach Jeffrey’s table. He looks up, definitely surprised to see me. “We need to talk. Now.” I drop a hundred-dollar bill on the table. He slides a folder off the high top, then follows me outside to my car. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“What you hired me to do, to help Erin feel confident and comfortable.”
“She’s a mess.”
“I noticed,” he says.
“Not outside the club.”
“Relax.” He gestures for me to ratchet my temper down a few notches.