* * *
Lilly couldn’t decide what she’d done. Kane had been the epitome of friendliness, grinning his devilish grin at her and helping her learn how to take an assailant down quickly.
But then, something had changed. Surely he wasn’t angry that she’d knocked him to the floor? She’d only done what he’d taught her to do.
No, she believed she knew him well enough now to know that wasn’t it. Then what?
Every time she thought about asking him, the words stuck in her throat. Truth be told, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know.
She wanted to kiss him. And maybe more. At fifteen, when she’d been imprisoned, she’d been a complete innocent. In the fifteen years since, that hadn’t changed. Though she realized she might be the only thirty-year-old virgin around, she hadn’t been free, or normal, long enough to change that. And she wasn’t even certain she wanted to.
Until now. Kane made her want things she couldn’t even articulate. She ached for his touch and dreamed about his kiss. This had to be a crush, much like the ones she’d had when she’d been fourteen, a kind of formless yearning. Kane would probably laugh if he knew.
They arrived back at the cabin only to find Kane’s mother had left some sandwiches and chips on the table for them. They ate together, which felt both familiar and uncomfortable. Every time Kane’s glance touched on her, Lilly burned.
When they’d finished, she murmured something about needing to rest, and promptly disappeared into her bedroom.
Instead, she showered again, as if by doing so she could wash off the strong pull of desire. Clean, she put on a pair of denim shorts and a T-shirt and blow-dried her hair.
As she debated checking out the latest fashion magazine Kathy or one of the others had left for her, Lilly heard the clear notes of Kane’s guitar. Cocking her head, she stood still and listened, waiting for the music to quiet the ever-present struggle still roiling inside her.
Instead, he stopped playing. Disappointed, she opened her door, realizing he’d gone outside on the front porch. She stood still, waiting as she heard him pick out another note or two.
Again silence fell. Intrigued, she went outside.
He sat on the edge of the steps, with his guitar and a pad of paper.
“What are you doing?”
When he looked up, his mouth curved into an unconsciously seductive smile. “Trying to write a song. I used to do this for fun, but it’s been too long.” As if to demonstrate, he strummed a few more chords. “Listen to this.” And he played the better part of a melody.
Something about it touched her deep inside. Though she wasn’t vain enough to think he might have written it for her or about her, the melody felt personal.
He played it once more. “What do you think?”
“I like it.” She smiled, tentative. “I actually feel as if I could be good at making up words to that particular tune.”
“Do you?” He smiled back, encouraging. “Why don’t you try then? Let me hear what you’ve got.”
And he strummed the guitar and began to play once more.
Though she hadn’t sung out loud since she’d been a child, Lilly couldn’t help herself. She’d never had a reason to, not before. Music equaled contentment, happiness, joy and peace. And perhaps something more. All she knew, right now, was the time was right.
So she began singing, some of the words fragments that had been running through her head ever since she’d left Seattle. The others, she made up as she went along. She didn’t know if she had a good voice or bad, she only knew with music, she felt free of her demons. The time had come to let her voice free.
And she sang.
After one, quick, startled look, Kane nodded and continued playing. As if they’d worked together before, he fell into the rhythm. Joining with her, as if they were inside each other’s minds. Creating, making music.
Glorious.
She let her voice soar, abdicating rational thought or limitations, vaguely aware that this song connected the monster inside her with her true self, in ways that felt real and right. And maybe, not so evil after all.
Darkness swirled, lightening into something seductive, and she glanced at Kane. He watched her, expression savage, as though need and yearning and desire had transformed him into something else.
Something else... She didn’t understand, but she realized it had something to do with her voice, with the song. Heart sinking, she understood the awful power she could wield over this man. Those damn experiments they’d done on her—she had no idea of all the changes those doctors at Sanctuary had made to her psyche. Had this been one of them?
Horrified, she closed her mouth, turning to run from him, not wanting to see what she’d done. Too late. He shoved aside his guitar, uncaring when the instrument hit the floor with a discordant clang. Even as she leaped forward, he was faster, and his fingers closed around her arm, the opposite of gentle.
Desire made his eyes molten silver. He yanked her toward him, letting her feel the strength of his arousal. She knew what he was about to do. Oh, she knew and some small part of her reveled in it. The power, the craving, the need, all tangled up together like some horrific spider’s web, leaving nothing but chaos in its wake.
He slanted his mouth over hers, his lips hard and cruel and possessive. Not like him at all, she felt, then gave up any attempt to think. Heat flared, feeding her hunger. Angry, she wanted him to ravish her, even as she struggled to escape his hold.
Ecstasy flared, dark and bright and urgent, all at the same time.
This wasn’t her, yet was. And Kane, he’d become a savage stranger, the blankness of his gaze telling her he knew not what he did.
She wanted him, but not like this. This wasn’t real, wasn’t about her at all. Something else, her siren’s song, compelled him. It would be up to her to bring this to a crashing halt. If...she wanted to.
Her senses reeled, sending her equilibrium diving and crashing. Blood pounded through her body, searing her with a fire that craved only one release. Him. Buried deep inside her.
She gasped as his mouth seared a path down her throat. Her legs turned to putty, and she sagged against him, even as her hands moved of their own volition to the bulge in the front of his jeans.
No. What was she doing? From a distance, she heard herself protest, then heard herself scream. Somehow, she found the strength to push him away. Expression glazed with passion, he came at her again. He was strong, too strong for her to overcome, and she knew her only chance would be to try to reach inside to the man he truly was.
“Kane.” Her voice, hesitant and frightened, didn’t reach him. She tried again. “Kane. Stop. Right now.”
Something flickered in the liquid silver of his gaze. Recognition? Sidestepping, she managed again to evade him, though every bone in her body ached to let him crush her against him once more.
“Kane.” Louder. “You don’t want to do this. Wake up. It’s me, Lilly.” Her voice rose. “Kane. You’re supposed to be protecting me.”
That reached him, she could tell. He froze, shook his head as forcefully as a wounded bear and growled. When he blinked, she saw him come back to himself. “Lilly?”
“It’s okay,” she soothed, aware of the bitter irony. “You’re all right.”
“What have I...” The instant his arousal registered, he flushed a dark red. “I don’t understand. I...apologize.” Turning away, he bowed his head. “You need to leave.”
Though she didn’t want to, she couldn’t help but see the wisdom in that. Still, despite that, she stood her ground. “I need to explain.”
“Not. Now.” He ground the words out through what sounded like clenched teeth.
For the first time, she sensed that maybe his arousal hurt him. She who had zero experience with men or sex had no idea if that was possible or not. “Fine.” Conceding, she spun around and headed into her bedroom. “Call me when you’re ready to talk. I suspect I’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”
*
* *
Kane watched her go, his body throbbing. What the hell had just happened? He had no clear memory of it; the last thing he knew, he’d been strumming his guitar and then Lilly had come into the room and started singing. Even the memory of her seductive voice sent a thrum of desire through his blood.
Hell hounds. He’d played some chords, and she’d started to sing. They’d been writing music, he thought. What had happened after that, he couldn’t remember.
Obviously, she knew what had happened and why. And as soon as he got his overheated body under control, he meant to get some answers. For now, he gulped in air, wondering why he had to struggle even to breathe.
As soon as he could walk normally again, he made it into the kitchen, popped open a beer, and drank half the can in a few swallows. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Again, he pictured Lilly. Her mouth had appeared bruised and swollen, matching the tingling in his. Had they kissed? He knew damn well he’d definitely remember if they had. Instead, he drew a complete blank. How on earth could he have no memory of something so momentous?
Stepping outside, he breathed deeply, hoping the pine-scented air would help clear his head.
He glanced at the chair, his guitar next to it, decided no, and kept on going. He needed to go, he needed to run. Yet, he realized he couldn’t outrun her. Hell, he couldn’t leave her. He was her Protector.
But who the hell was going to protect him from himself?
He wanted her. Of course he did. He’d felt that click of connection the first time he’d seen her, when he’d been part of the team who’d rescued her from the basement underneath Sanctuary. Then, he’d thought it was because he’d become friends with her twin brother. But later, during one of his many visits to her while she’d been hospitalized, he’d come to understand it was more. Deeper. Deeper than it should be, perhaps. But he’d believed he could handle it, aware of the strength of the barriers he’d erected around his self-control. He had not the slightest doubt he could keep them intact, no matter the provocation.
And now this. How the hell he could black out while playing music and then come to, fully aroused, was beyond him. Especially since he knew if he ever got together with Lilly, he’d sure as heck remember.
As he moved off the front porch, his cell phone rang. Not his regular one, but the disposable phone he’d purchased to keep in touch with Lucas. Lucas had the exact same phone.
“What’s up?” Kane asked.
“They burned my house,” Lucas said, sounding furious. “Broke in while we were all out to dinner and torched the place.”
Kane cursed. “No one was hurt?”
“That’s the only good thing. The fire department came right away, but the place is a total loss.”
“You’re sure it was them?”
“Oh, yeah.” Now the other man’s voice rasped, positively savage. Previously, Kane had only heard his friend use that tone when planning the assault of Sanctuary to free Blythe and her daughter. “Even in my human form, I can smell the accelerant. Worse, the fire department’s arson investigator wants me to come in for questioning. They think I set my own home on fire!”
“What are you going to do?”
“After I deal with the arson investigator and the police, who also want to talk to me, I’m taking Blythe and Hailey and disappearing for a while. We’re heading to my cabin.”
“Good idea.” Kane had always envied Lucas his isolated retreat in the Colorado mountains. It would be the perfect place for him to shield his family from the madness engendered by the crazy followers of Jacob Gideon. “Even though their leader’s in prison, they just don’t give up, do they?”
“My guess is that whatever they did to my sister is extensive enough that they feel they’ve got to get her back. Has she told you any information about her time while in captivity?”
“Not yet.” Even with her twin, Lilly had been extremely reluctant to share the horrors she’d endured.
“She alluded to experiments,” Lucas continued. “But other than saying her inner wolf was no longer a wolf, she refused to elaborate. Which fits in with what they tried to do to Blythe while she was there. I imagine they perfected their methods on Lilly since they had fifteen years to implement them.”
The anger that surged through Kane stunned him. He wanted to break something, punch someone, or rip something in half. “I need to change,” he muttered.
Lucas’s short bark of laughter told him the other man knew exactly what he meant. “I bet you do.” His tone lowered, became serious. “Just be careful around Lilly. She freaked out the few times I mentioned it to her.”
“Same here. But she’s going to have to do it sometime,” Kane mused. “Otherwise she’s going to start having other problems.”
“I think...” Lucas’s hesitation completed his sentence. Kane knew Lucas thought that some of the problems experienced by shifters who went too long without changing had already manifested in his sister.
For all Kane knew, he might be right. “Do you know if such things are reversible?”
“That’s a question for the Healer.”
Kane agreed. “I’ve already started a list. I’ve been instructed to contact her, but not until I have a good handle on things.”
“Keep me informed,” Lucas said. “Listen, I’m going to go. I wanted to let you know where we’re going to be. We’ve got to get out of Seattle before those idiots come back and decided to try for Blythe or Hailey.”
“Make sure you’re not followed.”
“Of course. Talk to you later.” Lucas ended the call.
“Who was that?”
Kane turned, finding Lilly eyeing him thoughtfully. He wondered how much of the conversation she’d heard, and then wondered why he hadn’t heard her approach. At the very least, the sound of the dead leaves under her feet should have alerted him.
Quickly, he filled her in on what had happened to her brother.
“He loved that house,” she said numbly. “He and Blythe were in the middle of renovating it. Why would someone do something like that?”
Though he hated to tell her, she needed to know the truth. “To get to you. They’re trying to flush you out.”
The stubborn tilt of her chin told him she wasn’t buying it. “That makes no sense. I wasn’t there. Lucas and his family weren’t even there, thank goodness. It sounds like they’re trying to prove a point.”
Relieved, he nodded. “That’s right. In a way, they are. They want to make sure we know they mean business.”
“Even though their leader is in prison?” She frowned, her expression troubled. “Sanctuary has been disbanded. Their building is empty. What could they possibly hope to gain?”
“You.”
Grim-faced, she nodded. “But why? What are they going to do once they have me?”
Though he didn’t even like to consider the possibility, he managed to shrug. “Maybe since they apparently still regard Jacob Gideon as their prophet, they expect him to raise Sanctuary up from the ashes once he’s freed.”
“That’s not going to be for a long time.”
Unless he escaped. Briefly, Kane wondered if the Protectors had even considered this possibility. Of course they had. He decided not to mention it to Lilly.
“Who knows what whackos like that think? The important thing is that Lucas and his family are safe.”
“True. Where are they going to go now that their home is gone?”
“He has another place, hidden away.”
She nodded. “It’s probably best that I don’t know.”
Another flash of misgiving. Was she aware of something that might happen, something he wasn’t? He pushed away the supposition, well aware that in situations like this, he could only act on facts, not speculation.
“In case I’m captured,” she elaborated, looking grim. “They’re awfully good at torture, you know.”
Then he understood. She could only face little pieces of her horrific past at a time.
His
heart clenched. “Come on. We need to talk.”
Looking down, she studied her hands. “I was afraid of that.”
Chapter 9
Once they reached the cabin, Lilly hurried inside, heading straight for the kitchen. She looked up, flashing a sheepish smile. “I feel better if I can keep busy. I might as well get something started for dinner.”
As she stood up on tiptoe to inspect the contents of the top shelf of the pantry, he couldn’t help but admire her slender curves and the way her legs in her denim shorts seemed to go on forever. Instead of her earlier ponytail, she wore her hair lose, and the silky strands swirled around her shoulders. She moved like a dancer, completely unaware of either her beauty or her grace.
Kane swallowed hard, battling the urge to go to her and take her in his arms.
Instead, he crossed to the other side of the breakfast bar, keeping it between them, and climbed up on a stool.
“Do you want to tell me what happened earlier?”
She froze, turning slowly. “I don’t know, exactly.” Lowering her lashes, she flicked an imaginary insect off her arm.
“Try.”
“I started singing and you...had a strange reaction.”
Though he knew she had no idea how sensual he found her voice, desire once again stabbed him.
“I can assure you,” she muttered hastily. “I won’t let that happen again.”
“Let what happen again,” he pressed, keeping his tone calm and patient.
Expression miserable, she dropped her chin. “I’m not sure, but I think it has something to do with all the experiments the doctors were doing on me at Sanctuary.”
The words, hung there, almost sounding like deluded ramblings, except for one thing. Kane had been in the laboratory at Sanctuary; he’d seen. And he recognized the possible ring of truth in what she said.
A shudder of foreboding passed through him. The Pack Protectors would have to be notified as soon as he had the full story.
Lilly had already been through more than most. More than enough. If the three missing members of Sanctuary were to recapture her, he could only imagine what they’d try to do. Their experiments would be accelerated since they would be aware they could be captured at any moment.
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