“Yes, I told him all about you on the way here. Michael,” she said, “this is my friend, Chris Taylor.”
I knelt down and waved at him. “Hi, Michael. It’s nice to meet you.”
He gave me a bashful smile, and hid his face in his mom’s leg.
“He’s excited, trust me,” she said. “He’s just a little shy.”
“I have something for you,” I said, reaching the football toward him. He took it in his two small hands, a look of wonder on his face.
“That’s a real Tigers game ball,” I explained. “We used it in the game last week.”
“Whoa,” he breathed.
“What do you say, Michael?” Natalie pressed.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I smiled.
“Shall we go play?” Natalie asked, and Michael took off running toward the playground, carrying the ball with him.
“He’s never going to stop talking about that football,” Natalie said to me as we chose a bench to sit on.
“I’m glad he likes it.”
“He looks a lot like you,” she said, watching him go down a slide.
“I should show you some pictures of me at that age,” I said.
“I would like that,” she said.
I hadn’t even thought about my family and everyone who would want to know about Michael. I thought about how thrilled my mom would be to know about this grandson. I wondered if I could ever tell her.
Having an active part in my child’s life would change everything. Instead of going out all of the time, I would have to reserve days where I had to show up to where I needed to be on time, and couldn’t be drunk or hung over. I would have to balance work, fatherhood, and my social life. Just finding a balance between work and my social obligations were tough enough already.
I tried to play a game of catch with Michael, but the regulation sized ball was too big in his hands for him to be able to throw it. I tossed it to him, and he managed to catch it though.
“We’ll have to try this again with a smaller football,” I said as he tried to toss it back to me.
Suddenly, I felt different. I was terrified of not knowing what to do with Michael, but we had an instant connection with sports. I wondered if this was how all dads felt when they tossed a ball around with their kids.
Seeing him, I couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that I helped make him. Though he clung to his mother, he was part mine. I wanted to watch him grow up and see where life led him.
“I think he’s getting a little tired,” Natalie said after a few hours of playing. “If you want, you can come back to my place.”
“Yeah,” I responded. “That sounds great.”
I followed her back to her house. It was a cute, three-bedroom house near her dad’s place. It was nice, but definitely a lot smaller than my mansion in the hills. It was a bit of a drive to my house, but I would make it if necessary.
“Do you want anything to eat?” Natalie asked as she warmed up some frozen chicken nuggets in the oven for Michael.
“You know,” I said, “I haven’t had chicken nuggets in quite some time.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “Fine. I’ll make us some real food.”
As Michael ate, I sat next to him at the table while Natalie started chopping vegetables for a stir fry.
“Your mom says that the Tigers are your favorite team,” I said to Michael.
“Yep. I watch them on TV with Grandpa every week.”
“If it’s okay with Mom, I can get you tickets for all of the home games. You can even sit in the skybox if you want. They have really great snacks up there.”
“Do they have cheese balls?”
“I’m sure they do. If not, I’ll make sure someone gets them for you.”
“Mom!” he yelled. “Can we go to all of the games?”
She shot me a look. “We’ll see,” she said to her son.
“Can my grandpa come too?” he asked me.
I smiled, not knowing what to say. “If he wants to, I don’t see why not.”
“Cool,” Michael said, eating another chicken nugget.
When he was done eating, he ran off to watch TV while Natalie and I ate our meal. Without asking, she poured two glasses of wine.
“This is nice,” she said, taking a sip. “I usually don’t have a lot of company over at the house. I’m usually just eating leftovers for dinner.”
“I’m glad I could join you for dinner,” I said, taking a bite. “This is really good, by the way.”
“Thanks. I think Michael really likes you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, he usually doesn’t talk to strangers at all. I wonder if somehow, he knows that there’s something special about you.”
“Well, I am his favorite player, after all.”
“No, like there’s a special connection. Like between father and son. I don’t know.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Did you have a good time today?” she asked, a little hesitantly.
“It was great,” I beamed.
“You’re a natural with kids,” she said.
“Yeah? I never thought I was.”
“You definitely are. It was so good to see him playing with a man. I think he gets tired of playing with Mom all of the time.”
Natalie took another drink. “So, I don’t want to pressure you into making any decisions or anything, but do you think you’ll want to see him again?”
“Absolutely,” I answered earnestly. “I don’t want to rush things, but I really want to be part of his life.”
She smiled. I wondered what she was thinking about when she saw us together.
“He could really use a male role model in his life. Do you think you could stop by once a week? I know you’re busy now, but when you have more time in the offseason?”
“Definitely. I want to be there for him. And for you, too,” I added.
“Thanks. I guess this means I’ll have to figure out a way to tell my dad about this.”
My stomach dropped. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
She bit her lip. “That’s a pretty huge secret to hide from him. If you want to be in Michael’s life, he’s going to find out eventually. It’s probably for the best if I mention it to him.”
I wrung my hands. Once again, I was facing the risk of losing someone important to me for my job.
“I’ll be careful,” she reassured me. “I’m not going to say anything to jeopardize your career.”
“Thanks.”
While she put Michael to bed, I thought about everything that had happened in the past week. If I wanted to, I knew that I could tell Natalie it was all too much for me, and that I wanted out of their lives. She would probably be disappointed, but I don’t think she’d hold it against me. I mean, we had two very separate lives now.
On the other hand, for better or worse, Natalie was part of my life again in a very big way. I certainly couldn’t change the past, and I don’t know if I would, even if it were possible.
Natalie came back from the upstairs bedroom and plopped down next to me on the couch. She looked a little tired, but was as gorgeous as ever. If I didn’t know any better, I would have had no idea that she had ever had a child.
“Michael had such a great day with you today,” she said, smiling at me. “I’m starting to wonder if seeing you at the game was meant to be.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I really missed you, Natalie.”
“I missed you too.”
I really wanted to know what was going on inside of her head. For a moment, it was like we had never cut ties and we were kids in our early twenties, just looking to have a good time.
I felt the sudden urge to put my arm around her as we sat together on the couch. She sat close to me, and I wondered if it was intentional. I wanted to touch her, to grab her hand or something, but I didn’t want to freak her out.
“I should probably get going,” I said, in an attempt to stop the intern
al conflict altogether.
“Okay,” she said, standing up with me and walking me to the door.
“I’ll see you soon though,” I said, stopping short of the door to face her.
“I hope so,” she replied.
We were standing so close together that we were nearly touching. The tension between us was palpable.
“Goodnight,” I said softly.
“Goodnight,” she replied.
Before I could turn away, she popped up on her toes and kissed me. It wasn’t anything hot and heavy, but it was still more than a friendly peck on the lips.
I was stunned. I walked outside toward my car, head spinning. The second she kissed me, my face burned red, so I had to leave before she could see how much it had rattled me.
Things were now instantly more complicated. Without a doubt, the feelings that Natalie and I had for each other were back.
14
Natalie
The second Chris shut the door, I buried my face in my hands. I felt embarrassed for kissing him out of nowhere. For all I knew, he could be dating someone.
It felt so nice to kiss him, though. Sadly, I hadn’t been with a lot of men since becoming pregnant with Michael. When I was pregnant, I hardly socialized at all, since I felt ashamed of being a single pregnant woman. Then, once I had Michael, I was too busy and too tired to even think about dating.
I had been out a handful of times each year, but things never worked out with the guys that I met. Understandably, a lot of guys my age weren’t ready to commit to a woman and her young child. There were a few flings, but nothing could ever live up to how I felt with Chris.
Since Chris, every guy has been unfairly compared to him. Sure, Chris wasn’t perfect, but he had a lot going for him. For starters, he was extremely attractive and was great in bed. Chris also had this ability to make me feel good about myself. He wasn’t pushy and respected my boundaries, but he was also fun and the life of the party.
I felt like Chris just understood me better than a lot of guys. We had some similar life experiences that a lot of people just didn’t seem to get.
It bothered me that I couldn’t tell if Chris was into my kiss or not. He left so quickly that I didn’t have the chance to gauge his reaction.
I was starting to worry that my remaining feelings for Chris was going to ruin things for my son. I wanted Michael to have a father figure, and I think Michael did too. I didn’t want to scare Chris off before he had a chance to be part of our lives again.
I went to bed, too tired to worry about all of this. Eventually, I would sort everything out. I would find a way for Chris and my family to coexist where everyone’s needs were met. Even if that meant that I couldn’t have Chris for myself.
Chris actually messaged me first, during the middle of the week to set up a time to hang out with Michael and me. My dad was still gone through Sunday, so we planned to meet up on Friday afternoon. I had arranged things with work so I could leave a little early to pick up Michael from the babysitter. Then, when my dad came home, I would be able to talk to him about the arrangement he made with Chris five years ago.
We decided that this time, we’d go to a movie, and then we’d hang out at the house afterwards. Michael had been talking about Chris all week and wanted to show him all of his toys. He asked if we could go to the game on Sunday, but I reminded him that it was an away game. I’m sure if he asked Chris though, Chris would put him on the team jet to take him to the game.
On the day of our outing, I was a little nervous about seeing him again. I wondered if he’d acknowledge the fact that I kissed him or if he’d pretend like it never happened. For my sake, I hoped that we could just carry on like our normal selves, and never speak of it again.
I was worried that it would be boring for Chris to go to a children’s movie, but he seemed to think that it was a good idea. As far as outings went, sitting in the dark for two hours was a good way not to get noticed. He was probably in the last place anyone would expect him to be.
Minutes before Chris was supposed to show up to take us to the movie, I got a call from my boss. Apparently, there was some crisis going on with the team, and I needed to get to the office immediately for an emergency meeting. I begged with my boss to come in later, after the movie, but he was unrelenting. I knew I had work responsibilities, but the timing was terrible.
Often times, I’d get called into work for spur of the moment meeting and other work, but it was never an issue. I’d just take Michael to my dad’s house and go into work. I didn’t even know of many nighttime sitters because my dad was always there if I had plans.
I tried to call Chris to postpone our outing, but he didn’t answer. He was probably on his way to the house.
I felt incredibly guilty, but I absolutely couldn’t go to the movie. I knew that Michael would be absolutely crushed and I knew that I was wasting Chris’s time. While I was frantically looking for someone to take Michael, I heard a knock at the door.
“Hey Natalie,” he said cheerfully. “We should get going if we want to get good seats.”
I wanted to cry. This was supposed to be a nice afternoon between father and son, and I completely ruined it with my crazy work schedule. He must have sensed this.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did your dad come back early?” he looked around, like he was about to get trapped.
“No, I just got called into work, and I have to go. I tried to call you to cancel, but it was too late. I’m so sorry. Once I find a babysitter for Michael, I have to run.”
“Why don’t I just take him to the movie? If you aren’t home by the time it’s over, I’ll make him something to eat and we’ll play until bedtime.”
I looked at him skeptically. I didn’t know if he had ever taken care of a child in his life.
“Are you sure?” I asked. “I don’t want to force you to watch my kid.”
“He’s my kid, too,” he said, his voice low. “Besides, there’s no reason why he should miss out because you have to work.”
“You’re right,” I said. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. This is my responsibility, too.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling flustered by the sudden change of plans. “There is plenty of food in the house if he gets hungry. Don’t let him eat anything too sugary. I have a list of emergency contacts on the side of the fridge in case something goes wrong. His bedtime is at eight. He will try to negotiate with you, but don’t let him win that fight. If you need anything, call me.”
He laughed. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll have a great time.”
I called Michael into the room. His eyes lit up when he saw Chris.
“Hey, sweetie,” I said, hoping he’d be okay with this change of plans. “I have to go into work, so Chris is going to take you to the movie and hang out with you. Is that okay?”
“Okay, Mom,” he said, without a second of hesitation.
“Is there anything else that I forgot to tell you?” I asked, looking for my car keys.
“Go,” Chris said. “I’ll see you when you get back.”
I nodded and rushed out the door. It didn’t feel right leaving Michael alone with someone he hardly knew, but he was his father, after all.
As wild as Chris was, I trusted him. I knew that he cared about Michael, and to some degree, cared about me too.
I backed out of the driveway and drove to the office, constantly wondering if I should turn around and go back.
Not long after I got to work, I got a text from Chris, saying that they were at the theater, and not to worry about them. I was thankful that he understood a nervous mother’s need to know what her child was doing.
As I sat in the meeting, I couldn’t help but check my watch constantly. I kept doing the mental math, calculating when they would be out of the movie so I could check on them. I didn’t want to be annoying and disturb them during a movie, but I also wanted assurance that everything was fine.
I waited until I could expe
ct they would be home before sneaking off to the bathroom to call.
“Is everything okay?” I asked when Chris picked up the phone.
“Yep, the movie was great. Now I’m making some macaroni and cheese before we play catch. Do you know what time you’ll be back?”
“No idea. We have to discuss a possible change of coaching staff, so it could be some time. Oops, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that.”
“Your secret’s safe with me. I’ve got to go,” he said. “Dinner’s ready.”
“Okay,” I said. “Have fun.”
“We will.”
I hung up, feeling a little more relieved. At least they were at home now. They probably couldn’t get into much trouble there.
Finally, around eight, it looked like I was close to getting out of there. I texted Chris, telling him that I would be home soon, and I would get Michael ready for bed when I got home.
I’ve got it covered, he replied. We brushed our teeth, put pajamas on, and read a story. He’s already asleep. Probably tired from running around outside.
It felt like my heart was melting. Even I had problems getting Michael to go to bed on occasion.
Thank you so much, I said, feeling like I couldn’t express my gratitude enough.
Are you hungry? he responded.
Starving, I said. I wondered what he was planning. Even if it was leftover macaroni and cheese, that would be all right with me.
Instead, I came back to my house to find it possibly cleaner than I had left it. I found Chris at the stove, mixing a pesto sauce into pasta as two steaks rested on the cutting board. My mouth watered.
“You didn’t have to do this for me,” I said.
“It’s no problem.”
“I didn’t know you knew how to cook.”
“There are a few things that everyone should know how to do. Cooking the perfect medium rare steak is one of them.”
“I’m going to go check on Michael, and then I’ll be back down.”
I crept into Michael’s room, half expecting him to be secretly playing in his room. Instead, he was fast asleep, not even stirring when I walked in the room. I kissed him goodnight, and shut his door halfway.
Game Winning Catch: (Secret Baby Sports Romance (Pass To Win #5) Page 9