Bethany And The Zombie Jesus: A Novelette With 11 Other Tales of Horror And Grotesquery

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Bethany And The Zombie Jesus: A Novelette With 11 Other Tales of Horror And Grotesquery Page 7

by Jake Bible


  “Are you fucking daft?!? Don’t touch it!” Mandarin’s voice screeched a bit shriller than she had intended. She could feel the office go quiet as the other cubicles tried to listen in. She reached for her sock and shoe, but Alicia placed a concerned hand on hers, staying her movement.

  “Sweetie, you need to go have that checked out. I’m not kidding. That isn’t right,” Alicia said, deep concern filled her features.

  “I can’t afford to go to hospital, you know that.”

  “Here’s my brother’s office address. He’s a pediatrician, but he’ll see you after hours for free. I’ll call him at lunch and let him know you’ll be coming by after work,” Alicia handed Mandarin a sticky note with the address scrawled across it.

  “I’ll be fine, really. It’s just a blister for God’s sake. It’ll go away soon. Plus, I have to pick up my mother tonight at the airport.” Mandarin tried to push the offered sticky away.

  Grabbing Mandarin’s hand Alicia folded the note within the palm, closing the fingers over the yellow piece of paper. She patted her hand and smiled.“That thing is not just a blister. Go see him tonight. I’ll be glad to pick up your mother, really. Frank and the kids will be at a movie anyway. You need to get that looked at now.”

  “That is kind, but I really couldn’t impose. I don’t want to inflict my mother on anyone and I am sure your brother is way too busy.”

  “Mandy, my brother will not mind,” Alicia interrupted. “It’s what he does. Plus, he’s single and a workaholic. He doesn’t have any social life to speak of. Maybe you can buy him dinner as a thank you. That’ll give your mother and me more time to talk about you.”

  “Oh, sure, that’s just what my mother would love to hear: that I am whoring myself out for medical attention and pawning her off on my best friend. Lovely.” But, Mandarin put the address in her purse, smiling thankfully at Alicia.

  “If your mom is anything like mine was when I was single I am sure she’ll just be glad you are having dinner with a man. I doubt the quid pro quo will even faze her.”

  “You don’t know my mum,” laughed Mandarin. Alicia laughed with her as they both turned back to their desks and the day’s tasks.

  ***

  Mandarin pressed the after hours call button outside the Children First pediatric offices. She took out her compact and checked herself in the tiny mirror. She had escaped from her cubicle early to freshen up in the restroom. While she was able to tame her head of red hair, her face was only barely salvageable with a wash and fresh make up. No matter what she tried, her lack of sleep made her look much older than her 32 years. As she stood outside the medical office trying desperately to convince herself she didn’t look like a withered hag, the door buzzed and clicked open. Mandarin put away her compact, did a quick cleavage check, smoothed her clothes and walked into the office.

  Oh, My God, our babies would be gorgeous, was all Mandarin could think as a six foot, blue eyed, brown haired, Dr. Jason Blumenthal walked out from behind the reception desk with an outstretched hand. She blushed at her thought and nearly dropped her purse when she fumbled to shake his hand.

  “Well, it’s good to finally meet you Mandy. My sis is always talking about you when we get together. Is Mandy okay? Or do you prefer Mandarin?” He squeezed her hand warmly once and let go. Mandarin left her hand hanging in the air, and then embarrassingly brought it to her side when Dr. Blumenthal lifted an eyebrow.

  “Sorry, sorry. It’s been a long day. Umm, Mandy is fine. Or Mandarin, whichever you prefer, um, Dr. Blumenthal,” Mandarin replied, hoping she didn’t stutter too much.

  “Okay, Mandy. Call me Jason please. My patients don’t even call me Dr. Blumenthal.” He smiled and she flushed further, her skin nearly matching her hair. Jason took Mandarin by the elbow and chuckled a bit.

  “You are looking a bit flushed. Why don’t we take your temperature first and then we’ll have a look at this toe of yours.” Jason led Mandarin out of the waiting room and back into the medical office proper.

  ***

  “Holy cow. That’s quite a, uh, blister,” Jason exclaimed once he was able to carefully get Mandarin’s sock removed. “I’ve seen my share, but this is quite a specimen.”

  Jason turned her foot back and forth, examining the maligned toe. After a couple minutes scrutiny, Jason gently placed Mandarin’s foot back onto the exam table.

  “Well, at first look I would never call this a blister. But, the tissue and the fluid are indicative of a classic water blister. The size of it is unusual, but not unheard of. It’s the color that worries me,” Jason said, grabbing a clipboard and jotting down a couple notes. Putting the pen down, he looked up at Miranda. “The color is from the fluid, not the skin around it. And, to be honest, I have never seen a blister fill with fluid this, um, shade before.”

  The tone in Jason’s voice made Mandarin suspicious. She narrowed her eyes a bit and looked hard at her future dream husband. Jason couldn’t quite meet her eyes.

  “You want to drain it!” Mandarin exclaimed. She brought a hand to her mouth, feeling a bit queasy.

  Jason smiled apologetically. “Unfortunately, yes, I need to drain it. First, most of your pain is from the pressure all this fluid is placing on the membrane of the blister. Draining it should give you quite a bit of relief. Second, I am just a pediatrician. This is a little out of my league and I would like to send a sample in for testing. We just need to rule out any infection or, abnormalities.”

  Mandarin blanched at the word abnormalities. Oh, my God, she thought, he must think I am some kind of freak. She felt utterly embarrassed. Just her luck, she meets a handsome doctor and he has to drain some freak goo from her toe. Not exactly the makings for a perfect romance.

  “Hey, I was thinking,” Jason said. “I know you just came from work and I haven’t had a chance to leave the office-“ Jason put on a pair of latex gloves, picked up and unwrapped a surgical lancet from the counter. “--maybe, after we’re done here you might want to--this may sting a bit- get something to eat?”

  Before Mandarin could answer, Jason took a pad of gauze and a small vial and held them next to the blister. He carefully stabbed the blister with the lancet and placed the vial directly under the puncture to catch a sample of fluid.

  “Um, yeah, sure. That would be great. There is a place not too far from here Alicia and I have been to. They have the greatest fried-“, but Miranda began gagging before she could finish her sentence. Jason started to wretch also. The smell that came from the oozing pustule was of rotted meat, festering with filth and excrement.

  With his head filled with the putrescence emanating from Mandarin’s toe, Jason shoved the lancet deep into the blister. Mandarin screamed with pain. Jason, stunned, shook his head and took a slight step back from the table. White hot rage filled Mandarin and she reached down and yanked the lancet from her wound.

  “Oh, God. I am so sorry Mandy! I don’t know why- Aaaaaaarrrgggh!” Jason screamed.

  Mandarin had taken the lancet and slammed it into Jason’s left eye. She grabbed him by the back of the head with one hand and, still gripping the lancet with the other, she shoved with both hands, ramming the lancet straight into Jason’s brain. He staggered back, but before he got two steps, the life left his undamaged eye and his body crumpled to the floor, blood pouring from his head. Mandarin sat on the examination table, the rage filling her body. The anger overwhelmed her and she began to hyperventilate. Before she could get it under control the world swam, swirled and went away.

  ***

  When Mandarin came to, the first thing she did was throw up all over the exam room floor. The second, was to make sure she did not look at the corpse of her best friend’s brother and now ex-future dream husband. The third was to grab her belongings, some gauze and bandages and hobble as fast as possible out of the office. She was able to make it to the elevator and inside without being seen and she slumped against the elevator’s wall once the doors shut. She scrambled to get a bandage around her toe, nea
rly passing out from the pain and trying desperately to not breathe the smell. Once she got it semi-covered, she put on her sock and tortuously managed to get her shoe back on. Shoving everything left over into her purse, she was barely able to get to her feet before the elevator doors opened onto the lobby. She slammed past a young couple, ignoring their looks of surprise and limped out to the street to hail a cab.

  Twenty minutes later she bolted the locks on her apartment door and collapsed onto the hallway floor as she broke into hysterical sobs. Her body convulsed with grief and her mind reeled at the thought of what she just did. Why had she done it?

  All she could remember was the smell. Never in her life had she smelled anything that horrible. Once, when she was back home and house sitting for her sister, she found a container of spoiled tofu in the back of the fridge. She had heaved for two full hours after opening that lid. The putrid smell that came out of her toe… well, this was a million times worse. It was Rot with a capitol R, the absence of all life replaced with absolute decay.

  As she gained her composure, she stretched her legs out, inadvertently hitting her foot against the bottom of the wrought iron coat rack. She cried out in pain and clutched at her foot. Dreading what came next, Mandarin painfully pulled off her shoe and fluid drenched sock. Again, the smell hit her and rage filled her head. She glared down at the other four toes on her left foot.

  “You are crowding it! Move the fuck over and give it some room!” she screamed at her toes.

  She glared at the seemingly alien digits and when they didn’t obey and vacate the end of her foot as she commanded, she grabbed the closest one to her malignant pinky and yanked as hard as she could. The small victim bent backward with the force of her rage and Mandarin felt the bone break and flesh rip. Her hand knocked the blister and fluid seeped out, coating the floor. Mandarin placed her hand in the fluid and brought it to her nose, inhaling deeply. She reached down for more and smeared it all over her face. She grabbed her newly mangled toe and wrenched at it again, trying to rip it off of her foot. Frustrated by the toe’s refusal to disengage from the rest of her foot, she shoved herself to her feet and hobbled to the kitchen.

  Mandarin went straight to the knife rack and grabbed her barely used kitchen shears. She lifted her leg and put her left foot onto the kitchen counter. A wide, malicious grin spread across her face. She grasped the unfortunate toe and with one deft snip, separated it from her foot, giving her blistered toe the room it deserved. She brought the severed digit up to eye level; triumphant rage filled her face.

  “How do you like that? Not so bloody smug now, are we?” she screamed at the toe.

  With a flick of her wrist she tossed it into the garbage disposal. She looked down at her leaking toe blister and smiled. Then her gaze moved to the remaining three toes on her left foot.

  “What are you three laughing at? Trying to take the piss are you? Well fuck you!” Mandarin screeched.

  Without hesitation, Mandarin removed the others with three more quick snips. The pain was excruciating, exhilarating and Mandarin bent her head back to roar at the ceiling. Blood poured from the stubs and covered the countertop. Chest heaving, she looked down at her handy work and her lips pulled back in a rictus of pride.

  “Now that’s better,” she said aloud. “But, we better make sure you little piggys can’t go wee, wee, wee all the way home ever again.”

  Taking her foot off the counter, Mandarin hopped to the left and opened a drawer. She pulled a wide-bladed butter knife from the drawer and hopped over to the stove. She turned on the front burner and placed the blade of the knife into the element. Mandarin whistled absently as she waited for the knife to heat up, watching the blood spurt from her butchered foot. Her mind played games with the bloody patterns spreading across her kitchen linoleum. It’s like cloud watching, she thought calmly.

  As soon as the metal started to turn orange she grabbed a potholder and pulled the knife from the burner. She plopped her foot back onto the counter and leaned in close. Eyeing the wounds carefully, she assessed the proper angle to apply the glowing knife blade. Sighing contentedly, she slapped the burning metal against the ragged stumps. The wounds sizzled and the kitchen quickly filled with the smell of charred flesh.

  Mandarin breathed in deeply and then began to laugh. The pain filled her head and pushed the rage away. For a split second Miranda was unsure of what she was doing and why. In that second of doubt her subconscious took the opportunity to do what it did naturally in times of extreme pain and stress: it shut her down.

  Blackness enveloped her mind and Mandarin crumbled to the kitchen floor.

  ***

  “Dear Lord! Mandy? Mandy, sweety, can you hear me?!?”

  Mandarin’s consciousness pulled itself from three feet of mental cotton. She felt hands on her, feeling her. She knew she should recognize the voice, but the fog was too thick in her brain and she couldn’t open her eyes yet.

  “Mmmmmmm…,” was all she could reply.

  “We need to call 911! Where is the phone?” Alicia said.

  “Oh, dear me, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” another voice said.

  Miranda’s ears pricked up at that voice. Oh, she knew that voice. She struggled to open her eyes, but her heavy lids refused to budge. Insanely, she felt her blistered toe respond to the voice also. But, that’s insane, she thought. Mentally she laughed at herself and the absurdity of the thought. Insane was her new sane now.

  “What? What do mean? She needs help!” cried Alicia.

  “I mean, my dear, that as much as I have enjoyed this evening with you, this is a family matter. I am awfully sorry for this,” said the second voice with casual regret.

  Miranda heard a dull thud and felt a heavy weight fall across her chest, quickly it was lifted from her. This time she was able to get her eyes partially open. Through the squint she could make out her mother shoving Alicia's still body aside. Looking down at her, her mother smiled broadly.

  “Ahhh, there’s my little darling. Now didn’t I tell you to wait for me before you tried to do anything with that blister of yours?” her mother asked condescendingly.

  Miranda winced and rolled her head away. Her mother quickly reached down and pinched her face in her right hand, forcing Miranda to look into her eyes.

  “What have I always said, dear?” her mother asked in that same tone.

  “Mother always knows best,” Miranda croaked.

  “That’s right, my sweet,” Miranda’s mother said, letting her face go. As she crossed the kitchen and pulled a chair from the table, she said, “Yes, yes, yes, Mother always knows best. I remember my first blister. I had to learn the hard way, also. I am sorry, dear, you weren’t spared what I went through. I tried to warn you. At least I am a little more understanding than my mother was. Now, let’s get some air on these and then I’ll make a cup of tea. We have so much to talk about.”

  Sitting down she slipped off the designer Italian wedge from her left foot. She began pulling the sock from her foot.

  “But, why? How is this possible?” Mandarin asked weakly.

  Mandarin’s mother paused, “Well, dear, we all internalize our emotions. Some get ulcers, some get migraines, some grind their teeth. We, dear, well, we get blisters.” She finished removing the sock.

  With the sock removed, it exposed a bare foot with only one toe. The pinky toe. And its blister looked mean. Mandarin blinked again and again. Her mother removed her other shoe and sock. A mirror image presented itself; one toe, one mean looking blister. Mandarin’s childhood flashed before her eyes; she had never seen her mother’s feet without socks or stockings. Dear God, how could she not have known?

  She began to sob.

  Mandarin’s mother stood and walked to the stove. She grabbed the kettle and moved to the sink to fill it. After placing the full kettle back on the stove, she turned the burner on. Then she turned on another.

  “My sweet darling, it’s nothing to cry about. You learn to live with it. It’s r
eally quite easy. You just have to make sure-“ she looked down at Alicia’s prone and bleeding body ”-you don’t project your issues on to others.” Placing the knife into the burner as Mandarin had done, her mother grabbed the kitchen shears and crouched next to Mandarin, her face the symbol of maternal understanding.

  “Now, after we are done cleaning up here, we’ll go see that brother of Alicia’s. I am sure he faced a little more than he bargained for, didn’t he dear? And we have a little cleaning up to do there, also?” Mandarin’s mother asked.

  Mandarin turned her tear streaked face away, shame and guilt clouded her features. Mandarin’s mother removed Mandarin’s right shoe and sock. She lifted the foot, turning it left and right just as Dr. Blumenthal had done. She brought the kitchen shears next to the foot.

  “The key, dear, is balance. You just have to find your balance. Inside…and out,” lectured her mother as she grasped Mandarin’s right foot firmly and placed the kitchen shears’ blades to Mandarin’s big toe. “But, don’t you worry, Mother is here to help you through it.”

  Mandarin reached out and stayed her mother’s hand. Her mother looked up inquiringly.

  “Please be careful, Mother,” Mandarin said. “I think I am getting another blister.”

  “Of course, dear, of course dear,” Mandarin’s mother cooed, as she turned back to her task. “I’ll take care of everything. Mother knows best.”

  The kettle started to whistle as Mandarin’s mother started to snip.

 

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