Caja wanted to close her eyes and disappear as all the kids, and quite a few of the parents, turned to look at her. She waited for Michael to set the little guy straight, and couldn’t believe it when he placed his arm around her shoulder and told the child that she was his girlfriend.
What the hell? Had the man lost his ever-loving mind? Caja wanted to scream, then pick up one of the baseball bats and beat him senseless with it. She could hardly do that considering that he’d already proved himself to be totally lacking in good sense. When she calmed down ever so slightly it occurred to her that he could hardly tell the innocent child their true relationship. Maybe he only said that to keep things reasonably decent. She shook her head sharply. In that case he could’ve simply have called her a friend. Why oh why hadn’t she discussed this with him before now? Maybe because she didn’t want it to be a fuck buddy? That was crazy. What else could it be? What kind of guy tried to have a serious relationship with a woman he’d slept with on the first date? No other man on the planet would do such a thing. See, this is what happened when people didn’t stick to the rules. Absolute chaos and confusion. This was a perfectly good hook-up. Why did he have to go and mess it up? She sighed as she waited impatiently until the rest of the families had departed. Then she turned on Michael.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“Huh?” Michael removed his cap and scratched his head. “Are you looking for something specific, or do you mean in general?”
“Michael Sargent Faletolu, you know damned well what I’m talking about,” she hissed through her teeth. “Why did you tell that boy that I’m your girlfriend?”
Michael frowned. “Because...you are?” he replied, sarcasm sharpening his tone.
Caja stood, arms akimbo. “I most certainly am not,” she retorted, delighted that in this position, with him seated, they were almost at eye level.
“What do you mean? We’ve been dating for a while now. I see you several times a week. Talk to you almost daily. I realize we never made a formal declaration, but I think we’re a bit old to be passing Do you like me? Check Yes or No notes.” He shrugged. “But if you insist –– ”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I don’t do relationships,” Caja retorted mulishly.
“Then what the hell do you call what we’ve been doing?” Michael shouted.
“It’s a hook-up. You’re my fuck buddy. I thought you understood that.” Caja began pacing in the small dugout.
“A what?” Michael sounded as though he’d never heard the words.
“Hook-up. Fuck budd , ” Caja repeated herself, raising her usually soft voice for emphasis . “You know, friends with benefits , ” s he continued as Michael stared at her blankly, then threw up her hands and shouted, “Casual sex! Two people sleeping together for the fun of it!” Her voice echoed through the dugout. Caja glanced around to ensure that there was no one around to hear her outburst. Thankfully everyone else had abandoned the field in the heat of the day.
“I know what a hook-up is, I just can’t believe that’s what you’re calling our relationship,” he said in the calm patient tones usually reserved for crabby seven-year-olds.
Caja waved her hands distractedly. “Look Michael, you’re a nice guy and all, but relationships aren’t my strong suit. Okay? I’m not exactly girlfriend material. It’s just not my thing. If you want somebody to run a gym, develop a work out plan or open a chain of fitness centers for you, I’m your girl, but anything else...” she snorted self-deprecatingly, “I just don’t have the time to be a good girlfriend. Hook-ups are a much better bet all around.”
“Better for who m ? They’re certainly not better for me. And you’ve done fine in our relationship. Who says you’re not girlfriend material?” Michael asked.
“Me,” Caja said, poking a finger in her chest for emphasis, “I say I’m not right to be anybody’s girlfriend. Have you seen my schedule? It takes Kit and several gigabytes of bandwidth to keep me going. There’s no room there for anybody else.”
“I’ve managed to fit in fine so far.” Michael insisted.
“I don’t get why you’re arguing against this. Most guys would kill to have a woman who prefers casual sex. What’s your problem?” Caja asked.
Michael stood up with a roar. “What’s my problem? What kind of asinine question is that? The problem is I don’t do casual sex. I practice monogamy. I don’t sleep around.”
“Monogamy?” Caja felt her spine stiffen at the implications of that word. Why did he feel he needed to tell her that?
“Yes, Caja, in other words, when I’m fucking you, you’re not fucking anyone else. And neither am I.”
“I know what monogamy is,” she said , ignoring the little frisson of delight that raced through her at his declaration. “What the hell do you think I am? Being a hook-up doesn’t preclude that. You don’t have anything to worry about. I only sleep with one guy at a time. Just because I prefer to have sex outside of a relationship doesn’t mean I’ve lost my goddamned mind.”
“No Caja, that’s not what I’m worried about. I have no intention of sleeping with a woman who is basically using me as an animated dildo! I want a relationship, not a fuck buddy. I’ve never played that way, and I’m too old for that shit now,” he shouted, shoving his hands into his back pockets. She watched him take a deep breath a clear indication of his effort to calm down. He continued in a much softer voice, “Caja, it’s good between us. You know that. There’s no reason it can’t continue that way.”
“That’s exactly my point. We have been good together. Why try to give it a name or make it more than it is?” Caja asked. Against her will a pleading note had entered her voice.
“Because it is more. Much more. I can’t believe you can’t see it. I can’t sleep with a woman who doesn’t really want to be with me.” He moved past her to stare out at the baseball field. When he turned back toward her, she almost cried out. The agony in his eyes echoed the pain that cut through to her very core. “Caja, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”
“But Michael -- ” she openly begged now.
He cut her off. “Look, I’ve got to go. Do you need a ride home?”
Caja shook her head. “No, I brought my own car.”
Michael reached out one broad hand, stroking his thumb across the single tear that rolled down her cheek. “Take care of yourself, Sprocket. And remember to eat every now and then. You’re losing weight.”
Caja watched as he slowly walked towards his car. The clarity of the bright blue sky seemed to mock her jumbled emotions. Maybe she wouldn’t write that book about a fuck buddy gone bad after all.
CHAPTER
6
MICHAEL reached over and slammed the snooze button on his alarm clock again. He tended to be a lark and usually jumped out of bed each morning long before his alarm went off. But this morning he had no desire to see anyone. After returning home from the game the previous afternoon, he’d roamed his small bungalow for hours. He couldn’t wrap his mind around what had just happened between he and Caja. He’d thought she felt the same way he did. Matter of fact, he knew she did. So why did she deny it? Why did she insist on calling them a hook-up? Just thinking about that word made him grind his teeth in frustration. What would make her think he would settle for that kind of crap? Then again, he had to admit that most guys would love the idea of being a fuck buddy. His gut twisted at the thought. He, however, wasn’t most guys.
His chaotic thoughts had led to restless sleep, and now more than anything he just wanted to stay in bed. He lay there for a long moment, contemplating calling in sick. He’d never called in like this before, but he was sorely tempted. He threw his forearm over his eyes, groaning out loud as he concluded that he would be going to work. The Protestant w ork e thic didn’t give a damn about his screwed up love life. Standing under the shower long minutes later he only hoped that Caja shared his misery.
* * * * *
Caja looked up
at the client schedule calendar for that morning. Now she knew the gods were fucking with her just for shits and giggles. Why was Laila Schroeder her first client of the day? Laila had stopped private sessions weeks ago, and Caja had been too busy to see her friend since then. She’d checked with the other instructors and knew Laila had been doing an excellent job in the regular fitness classes. So there was no real reason for her to be back on the private schedule. Had Michael told her about them? She doubted Laila’s ability to restrain herself if she knew the two of them had gotten together. Given Laila’s fondness for her brother she would’ve been squealing all over the place. Then again, maybe she’d simply not been able to find Caja and had asked Kit to put her back on the schedule. Kit was still annoyed with Caja and had probably been delighted to help Laila out and had of course, failed to mention that fact to her boss. Kit wouldn’t deliberately sabotage anything important, but in the right mood she definitely delighted in aggravating Caja as much as possible. Caja groaned loudly as she pulled on her sneakers. If her suspicions were right, this would be one miserable workout session.
* * * * *
“Oh my goodness Caja!” Laila twittered. “Where on earth have you been? I’ve been trying to catch you for weeks!” She bounded into the gym, her entire body practically vibrating with excitement. She gave her richly hued hair a toss. “I’m just so thrilled.”
Laila’s irrepressible good humor was practically contagious and Caja couldn’t resist smiling at her client. “What’s going on Laila? You’re looking great.” Laila had lost even more weight, and looked better than Caja had ever seen her. Her skin glowed with good health she dressed more fashionably in a pair of lightweight gym shorts and a short-sleeved bright pink hoodie instead of the bulky, over-sized sweats she used to wear. “Don’t you like the regular class?” Caja asked, suddenly concerned that Laila might have had a bad experience.
Laila waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Oh , that’s been going fine.” She preened for a moment. “I’ve lost ten more pounds! The doctor said I’m in good shape. But that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to talk about you and my brother! Why didn’t you tell me y’all were seeing one another? I wish I’d thought of it . Y ou know I love match-making, but you’re so gorgeous I just assumed you were seeing someone,” she continued apologetically.
Listening to Laila’s shrill voice going at 90 rpm , Caja could feel a headache coming on. Little wonder, she’d barely slept at all the previous night, and she’d always been a person who needed a full night’s sleep. She wondered if Michael had had such a tortured night as well. She certainly hoped so. Obviously he hadn’t talked to his sister recently. For that matter, why on earth had he told her sister about them? He had to know she’d be over the moon and tell everybody in the tri-county area. Not that Caja had been trying to keep the relationship a secret, but they’d only been seeing one another a short time. Even if he had thought they were dating, surely it was too soon to be telling his family? Caja snapped out of her musings, suddenly realizing that she’d missed what Laila had said. She’d stopped talking, and stood gazing at Caja expectantly, so she’d probably asked a question.
“I’m sorry Laila, I missed that. What did you say?”
Laila laughed. “Don’t worry, that happens all the time. Remember my husband, Carl?” She paused, and then continued when Caja nodded. “He always says I talk so much I don’t really need another person to have a conversation with.” She laughed again. “I was just wondering how often you and Michael are seeing each other. He wouldn’t really tell me too many details. He called me a blabbermouth.” The gym echoed with her peal of laughter. “Imagine that!”
Imagine that, indeed, Caja thought. At least the man had shown some discretion. “Laila, you’re paying an absurd amount of money for this session. Don’t you want to work out?” Caja asked, knowing that Laila tended to be a penny-pincher.
“Oh my goodness. Carl will kill me for wasting money.” She immediately dropped to the floor and began stretching.
Caja smothered her laughter as she joined her client on the floor thanking God she’d managed to shut her up.
An hour later they were both soaked with sweat. Caja had pushed Laila hard, mainly to prevent any conversation, but also because she wanted to distract herself from treacherous thoughts about Michael. By the time they’d finished neither had the energy for idle chatter. Their ambition didn’t extend further than a hot shower and a long, cool drink.
* * * * *
“Kit, are you going to stay pissed off at me for the rest of my life?” Caja stared down at the back of Kit’s head. Her relationship with her assistant had been noticeably chilly ever since she had failed to tell her about her about hooking-up with Michael.
“Why on earth would I be angry with you Caja? I’m just your assistant, not anyone you would share personal information with.”
Caja threw her hands up in the air. “You know how I hate it when you go passive aggressive on me,” she gritted through clenched teeth.
“That’s why I do it,” Kit replied in the most cheerful tones Caja had heard in weeks. Nothing delighted Kit like getting someone’s goat, and Caja had always been her favorite target.
“Well, cut that shit out right now. You know why I didn’t tell you about Michael. You said you didn’t want to hear anything more about my relationships.” She flopped down into Kit’s visitor’s chair. Unlike the rest of the club, which Caja had deliberately chosen to decorate with lots of chrome and a definite post-modern aesthetic, the office suites had a more traditional appeal. She’d even indulged her love for the color pink, but only as accents to the deep wood tones and navy blue furniture. “Besides, there’s nothing to tell anymore.”
Kit raised her brows. “Really? You’ve blown it up already? This must be a record for you. Usually they last at least six months.”
“I didn’t blow it up, he did. Or, at least I think he did. Anyway, I know I didn’t.”
“Hmmm, well you’ve certainly cleared that up.” Kit shook her head at her.
“He just didn’t like being a fuck buddy, okay? Said it wasn’t his thing. I can certainly respect that.”
Kit reared back in her desk chair causing it to roll back a foot. “You can? Since when do you respect a man who doesn’t want to play along with your crazy game? You’ve been flushing them for years now.”
“There ha s n’t been that many. You make it sound like Fleet Week or something.”
“So , yet another man wanted to make an honest woman of you. The nerve of the guy.”
“Kit...”
“Seriously, didn’t you tell him the deal from the very beginning? That’s what you usually do. I’m amazed any guys date you after that little speech.” Caja suddenly couldn’t make eye contact. “You did tell him, didn’t you?”
Caja rubbed her throbbing temples. Kit’s astuteness could be a pain in the ass at times, but she acknowledged that it was worth its weight in gold at others. Just not right now. “No, I didn’t tell him. I didn’t think I’d have to.”
“What?” Kit gave her a look that would’ve been pity coming from anyone else.
“I slept with him without any kind of commitment. Wasn’t that enough of a heads up?”
Kit pursed her lips shaking her head slowly at her friend. “You’ve got to be kidding, right? I’m not even going to address the issue of getting naked with a guy you barely know.”
Caja began pacing the room. “ Hey, you moved in with somebody you barely knew a month!”
“That’s different. That’s a commitment. I didn’t screw around with Lyn . We have a relationship and it’s lasted a couple of years now.”
Caja rolled her eyes, but decided not to mention the number of times Kit had fallen in love over the years. It was an old argument and not one they were ever going to resolve. “ There are rules Kit. He’s a grown man ; he should definitely know what time it is.”
“Rules? What rules? Somehow I don’t think anyone was stupid enough to write
a rule book for how to screw up a perfectly good relationship.”
Caja glared at her. “You know what I mean. Everyone knows not to take this type of thing seriously. It’s...it’s just a given. Like the fact that fat-free cheese tastes like butt. They say it doesn’t, but it does. Everyone understands that. Even if you eat it anyway, you still know it tastes like butt.”
“Good grief! You’re even crazier than I thought.” Kit rolled her eyes, but apparently decided not to debate that bit of logic with Caja. “So what did you say to him?”
“I told him I didn’t do relationships.”
“And what did he say?” Kit prodded.
“He said it was a relationship or nothing,” Caja sighed, her shoulders slump ing under the weight of her dejection.
“Wow!” Kit’s tone made it clear she could scarcely believe her ears. “So, what are you going to do about it?”
“What do you mean? What can I do?” Caja asked.
“Well, it’s obvious to me that you’re really torn up about it. You’ve been moping around here for days looking like something left over from the Zombie Apocalypse. Honestly, you weren’t this pathetic when Shoe Boy tried to steal your company. Why don’t you talk to him? Maybe y’all can work something out. Maybe y’all will just kill each other. At the very least you’ll put me out of my misery.”
“Glad to know you’ve got your priorities straight.” Caja lowered her head. She really didn’t want to think about her ex-fiancée at the moment. It would have to be dealt with someday, but not right now. Besides, she wasn’t really sure he was the problem anyway. For the first time she was beginning to suspect her distaste for relationships went far deeper than a broken heart or even the train wreck her parents had made of their marriage. She gritted her teeth. She definitely wasn’t going there. Despite what Kit said, the situation with Michael seemed to be over. He had been pretty definite in his views, and she had no intention of changing her own, but she supposed it was worth a shot. It had to be better than this. Though she’d have to be waterboarded before she’d admit it, she’d never been so miserable in her life. Looking at Kit’s pitying expression , she suspected it wasn’t much of a secret anyway.
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