KL04 - Katy's Decision

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KL04 - Katy's Decision Page 5

by Kim Vogel Sawyer


  Caleb tapped her arm, bringing her attention to him. “Was that supposed to be some kind of put-down — mentioning college?”

  Katy blinked twice, confused. What was Caleb talking about? Then she remembered Bryce’s comment about needing a car for college and rolled her eyes. Bryce wasn’t vindictive. He wouldn’t deliberately insult anyone even if they deserved it, which—in Katy’s opinion — Caleb did. Bryce’s kindness was one of the things she liked best about him.

  “Like he’s supposed to know our fellowship doesn’t attend college,” Katy said, allowing sarcasm to color her tone. “You were the one being snide, Caleb, bragging about how you own a car already. What’s your problem?”

  Caleb’s scowl deepened. “Don’t use your fancy words on me, Katydid.” He spat the nickname he’d used to irritate her when they were younger. “I don’t have a problem, but you must, if the boys around here aren’t good enough for you. You have to date a worldly boy in a worldly car to show off.”

  Katy stared at Caleb, her ears so hot she wondered if smoke rose from them. She glanced toward the others, and relief nearly buckled her knees when she realized no one was paying any attention to Caleb and her. Caleb’s behavior was embarrassing, but at least they didn’t have an audience. Except for Shelby, who tactfully looked off to the side and pretended not to listen.

  Keeping her voice low but emphatic, Katy said, “Listen, Caleb, Bryce is just my friend, and —” Caleb threw his hand in the air. “I don’t want to hear your excuses.” He shot a quick look at Shelby, and for a moment he looked embarrassed. Then his face hardened. “You need to watch yourself, Katy. Decide who your friends are going to be — kids from the fellowship or kids from Salina. Remember you’re not supposed to be a part of the world.” He whirled and stomped off before Katy could reply.

  Hurt and fury battled for first place in Katy’s feelings. Her chin quivered.

  Shelby leaned close and bumped shoulders with her. “Hey … are you okay? Do you want to leave?”

  Katy folded her arms over her chest and set her jaw. She blinked rapidly. “No, I don’t want to leave. That’s what he wants me to do — to run home in shame.” She glared at Shelby. “Well, I’m not ashamed of my friendship with you or … or with Bryce! You’re both good friends to me. You’re Christians too, even if you aren’t Mennonite. It’s Caleb” — she swung her hand in the direction Caleb had disappeared — “who has the problem.”

  Shelby cleared her throat, her gaze shifting to something behind Katy. Katy whirled around and found herself face-to-face with the tall, slender, blond-haired boy she’d seen in church service last Sunday. He looked directly into her face, and when he smiled, his dark-blue eyes lit up.

  “Hi.”

  Katy gulped. “Hi.”

  Yvonne Richter stepped up beside the boy. She curled her hands around his arm. “Katy, this is my cousin, Jonathan — Jonathan Richter. Jonathan, this is Kathleen Lambright. Everybody calls her Katy.”

  Jonathan nodded at Katy. “It’s nice to meet you, Katy.” Then he looked at Shelby. “And this is …?”

  Yvonne dipped her head for a moment. “This is Katy’s friend from Salina. I don’t remember her name.”

  Katy said, “Shelby Nuss.”

  “Hi, Shelby,” Jonathan said, his voice as warm and friendly in greeting Shelby as he’d been greeting Katy.

  “Hi,” Shelby said. She shifted a bit, adjusting her crutches. “I hate to be a party pooper, but I’m really tired of standing here. Do you mind if I …?” She started inching toward a picnic table.

  Jonathan darted forward and pulled out a folding chair for her. “There you go. I bet it’s hard, leaning on those crutches all the time. How much longer will you have to use them?”

  Shelby sank onto the seat and set her crutches aside. “‘Til the end of August or so. Then I’ll get a walking boot.”

  Katy stood, staring in disbelief as Jonathan and Shelby visited like old friends. Then he turned around and caught Katy’s eye. “Did you want to sit down too?” He grabbed a second chair.

  Wow … he’s so polite! Katy scurried to the chair. “Yes. Yes, I do. Thanks.” She sat next to Shelby, her eyes pinned to Jonathan’s face. She hadn’t noticed in church how nice-looking he was. Realizing what she was thinking, she felt her ears heat up.

  Yvonne captured Jonathan’s arm again. “Come on. I want to go talk to Sheila and Bonnie.”

  “Sure, Yvonne.” Jonathan bobbed his head first at Shelby then at Katy. “It was very nice to meet you, Shelby and Katy. Maybe we’ll talk more … later.” Yvonne tugged his arm, and he trotted off with her.

  Katy watched after them. Even though she’d only just met Jonathan, she wished he’d stayed a little longer. He’d mostly talked to Shelby. She wanted him to talk to her too.

  A giggle rang, and she turned to find Shelby grinning at her. The heat from her ears flooded into her cheeks.

  “What?”

  Shelby bobbed her chin toward Jonathan then smiled at Katy again. “Is Bryce getting a little competition from the visiting Mennonite from Lancaster County?”

  “Competition …” Katy snorted, but she knew it wasn’t very convincing. “It’s not like Bryce is my boyfriend.” Her gaze searched the crowd for Bryce. She found him beside his dad’s car, gesturing with one hand while he talked with Justin, Anton, and Todd. Again, she noticed how well Bryce fit in with the Mennonite boys, looks-wise. But he isn’t Mennonite, she reminded herself.

  Unconsciously, her attention shifted and she spotted Jonathan with Yvonne and her friends. While she watched, he turned his head and caught her looking. He smiled. She jerked her face toward Shelby, her heart thudding wildly. Jonathan was nice, like Bryce. And good-looking, like Bryce. But unlike Bryce, he was Mennonite. Dad would surely approve if —

  She bounced up, unwilling to let her thoughts carry her any further. “Will you be okay for a few minutes, Shelby? I’d like to go hurry Annika up. I’m ready for some ice cream.” She dashed for the house as if Dad’s bull chased her.

  Katy waited until Shelby fell asleep before creeping out from between the sheets and tiptoeing to her desk. She removed her journal from the drawer, grimacing when the wood released a high-pitched whine of complaint. But Shelby didn’t stir. Journal and pencil in hand, Katy crossed the staircase landing and entered the room that used to be her sewing room but now served as a guest room for Rosemary’s children when they visited. She closed the door before pulling the string for the overhead light — she didn’t want to disturb anyone. Then she perched on the edge of the bed and opened her journal.

  Rarely had she gone more than a week without recording her thoughts in the spiral-bound notebook, but between Shelby’s visit and spending so many hours at Aunt Rebecca’s shop, her journal had been neglected. Tonight, however, she had to write. The evening’s events — having three boys vie for her attention, being with her Salina friends and her Schellberg friends in the same place, and experiencing a whirlwind of emotions — left her feeling restless and in need of answers. She always found release in writing.

  She began to scribble, recording bits and pieces of the evening. Her frustration with Caleb’s jealous reaction to Bryce’s presence, her relief at Bryce’s easy way of talking with the Schellberg kids, and her heart-fluttering pleasure at Jonathan’s consideration poured onto the page.

  Jonathan even offered to hold my sundae so I could dish up Shelby’s ice cream, letting his melt while he waited on me, she wrote, the lines of print wavering a bit as her hand trembled. He’d been so sweetly attentive to both Katy and Shelby. Her heart fluttered again, just thinking about the way Jonathan acted. He was so nice.

  Midway through the party, Annika had whispered in Katy’s ear, “I think Jonathan likes you.” Katy hadn’t needed Annika to suggest it — she’d already suspected as much. And, she admitted, she liked Jonathan too. But how could she like Jonathan when she already liked Bryce? Was it fair? And which boy should she like — Bryce, who wasn’t Mennonite but who’d
been her friend for several months; or Jonathan, a Mennonite boy who’d only just arrived in Schellberg and would be leaving at the end of the summer?

  A poem began to form in her head, and she transferred it to the page.

  Two worlds, two ways of living a life—

  Each offering portions of joy and strife.

  But in which world do I belong?

  Where will my heart sing its perfect song?

  In either I can keep my faith,

  But only in one will I find the grace

  And acceptance of those I hold most dear …

  Two hearts, two boys who tug at me —

  Who bid me to discover what might be.

  But with which one do I belong?

  Can caring for either of them be wrong?

  They each possess a heart of faith,

  But only one can take his place

  In my life; one would pull me away from here …

  She slapped the journal closed and hugged the book to her chest. What was she doing, sitting here late at night worrying about boys? She’d always disdained Annika’s infatuation with boys. Last year, when Shelby had a boyfriend, Katy resented the silly way her friend acted around Jayden. Katy didn’t want to get caught up in all the ridiculous giggling and flirting and changing that seemed to accompany having a boyfriend. Yet at the same time, she thrilled at the idea of having a boy like her. Really, really like her.

  She lowered the notebook to her lap and opened it again, gazing down at the line But only one can take his place … Katy closed her eyes and whispered into the empty room, “God, right now my place is helping Aunt Rebecca. I need to focus on her, not on myself and Bryce or Jonathan. So would You please take these silly ideas out of my head?”

  But even after Katy slipped back into bed, images of the two boys continued to play in her mind’s eye.

  Chapter Seven

  On Saturday, after closing the fabric shop, Shelby asked Katy to drive Caleb’s horse cart to the pasture so she could get a look at Shadow’s foal, Saydee. Although Katy had checked on the horses each day, ascertaining they had a good supply of water in the tank and feeding them a portion of oats, Shelby had stayed at the house with Rosemary instead of accompanying Katy.

  “The worst part of having these crutches,” Shelby groused when Katy drew the cart to a stop along the fence line, “is not being able to walk out, pet the horses, or maybe ride Shadow.”

  Katy said, “You might not be able to walk out with them or take a ride, but I can get them to come to you so you can pet them.” She climbed down and moved to the barbed wire fence that enclosed the pasture. Placing two fingers in her mouth, she released a shrill whistle. Shadow immediately galloped over, and Saydee followed on long, spindly legs.

  Shelby squealed in delight. She clambered off the cart and limped to the fence. “Oh, Katy, the little one is so sweet! Will she let me pet her?”

  Katy grimaced. “I’m not sure.”

  Saydee had spent most of her first weeks of life only with her mother. Katy hoped not socializing the colt wouldn’t create problems later on. If Saydee were to be a good cart-pulling horse someday, she needed to be at ease with human contact. As soon as things settled down, Katy needed to spend extra time with the colt.

  “But,” she added, “Shadow will let you pet her. She loves to have her chin scratched.”

  Shelby reached for the foal — a miniature version of her mother — first, but as Katy feared, Saydee shied away. With a sigh, Shelby curved her hand under Shadow’s jaw. While she scratched Shadow, she gazed longingly at the colt. “I love her black mane and tail against the tawny brown of her coat. And that white diamond on her forehead makes her look so sweet.” She sighed again. “Such a little beauty …”

  Katy agreed. Saydee had all the markings of becoming a beautiful horse. But she’d be useless if she was afraid of people. “I need to get out here more. The first year of socializing an animal is the most important. If Saydee spends all her time with Shadow, she might never learn to bond with humans.”

  “So come out more often,” Shelby said. “I don’t mind.”

  Katy didn’t answer. Shelby couldn’t understand that Saydee needed more than a brief visit each day with someone reaching over the fence to try to stroke her nose or neck. Katy needed to get into the pasture with Saydee — to walk beside her, talk to her, earn her trust. Watching the colt hide behind its mother, peering out with wide, apprehensive brown eyes and snorting now and then in nervousness, made Katy realize how much she’d neglected the animal. But how could she give Saydee what she needed when she was working all day, every day, in Schellberg at the fabric shop and spending her evenings with Shelby?

  If Shelby didn’t have to rely on the crutches, then both girls could socialize the colt. But if Shelby didn’t have the crutches, she wouldn’t even be here, Katy reminded herself. She wouldn’t wish away her time with her friend — she enjoyed Shelby’s company, and she was great help at the shop. She only wished she could have Shelby’s companionship and time with Saydee. She scolded herself: And since when have you gotten so selfish, Kathleen Lambright?

  Stepping away from the fence, Katy said, “I guess we’d better head to the house. Rosemary will wonder what’s keeping us. She knows the shop closed at noon.”

  Shelby reluctantly backed up a step, stumbling a bit as she planted the tip of her crutch in the weed-strewn ditch. “If you had a phone at the house, I could call and tell her where we are.”

  There was no point in complaining about the lack of telephones. The deacons had postponed making a decision, wanting to check with other fellowships and explore all the possible social and spiritual ramifications before changing the fellowship dictate concerning the use of phones. So no telephone in Katy’s house. And no cell phone in Katy’s pocket.

  Katy helped Shelby into the cart then started to climb in on the opposite side. Before she could pull herself onto the seat, though, the honk of a car’s horn intruded. She looked down the road to see a dark green pickup truck approaching — Dan Richter’s truck. The sun glinted on the windshield, hiding the driver from view until it pulled alongside the cart. Then Katy’s heart jolted. Jonathan!

  He left the engine idling when he got out, and the steady rumble matched the thrumming beat of Katy’s heart.

  “Hi.” He pointed to the horses in the enclosure. “Are they yours?”

  Katy nodded. Her tongue felt stuck to the roof of her mouth. She hadn’t felt so wordless in a boy’s presence since her early days of infatuation with Bryce. It left her unsettled.

  “I’ve watched them when I’ve driven by before,” he said. He slipped his hands into his pockets and looked toward the horses. A soft smile curved his lips. “The colt has great lines.”

  Katy turned and watched Saydee dip her nose toward a cluster of grass then jolt upright, shake her mane, and dance in a circle. She couldn’t stop a giggle from rising in her throat. The foal reminded her of a playful, overgrown puppy. “Thanks. I think she’s pretty special.”

  “I tried to coax her into letting me pet her,” Jonathan went on.

  Katy looked at him, surprised. “You did?”

  He shrugged, and his grin turned sheepish. “Yeah. My dad and uncle raise horses in Lancaster County. I miss being around them. So when I spotted the mare and foal, I couldn’t resist trying to make friends.” He rocked on his heels. “You don’t mind, do you?”

  Wheels began spinning in the back of Katy’s mind.

  “No. No, not at all. They need more attention than I’ve been able to give them lately. Anytime you’d like to come out and talk to them, pet them, whatever … you’re more than welcome.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  “Thank you.”

  For several seconds they stood, silent, staring into each other’s faces. Then Shelby cleared her throat, and Katy jumped.

  “Oh! I need to be getting home now, but …” She backed toward the cart, waving her hand in the direction of the pasture.
“Feel free to visit Shadow and Saydee anytime.”

  He trotted after her. “Katy, wait!”

  She paused at the edge of the cart, her hand on the seat’s armrest.

  Jonathan’s grin spread, his eyes twinkling. “Which one is which?”

  Heat filled Katy’s ears. “Shadow’s the mom, Saydee’s the baby.”

  “Great names.”

  The heat in her ears increased. She knew they were blazing red, and she wanted to hide. She scrambled into the cart’s seat and plucked up the reins. “I have to go now, Jonathan. Bye!”

  Katy brought down the reins on Rocky’s back, and he snorted as he jolted forward. The cart rolled from the ditch and onto the road. She let Rocky trot briskly for a half mile, carrying them well away from Jonathan, before she pulled back on the reins and said, “Whoa there, Rocky, slow down.”

  Shelby let out a big breath. “Whew … I thought you were going to run him all the way home.” She swiped her hand across her brow, removing sweat and dust. “What’s your rush? Did Jonathan make a pass at you or something?”

  Katy gave her friend a horrified look. “Of course not!”

  “Then why the hurry to get away from him?”

  Katy didn’t know why she’d felt the need to escape. But talking to Jonathan gave her a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach — a feeling she didn’t know how to cope with. “I — I just knew we needed to get home. So Rosemary wouldn’t worry.”

  “Mm-hm.” Shelby didn’t ask for a further explanation.

  When they reached the farm, Katy pulled Rocky to the back door of the house and helped Shelby down. “I’m going to put Rocky in the corral beside the barn and give him some hay and water. I’ll be in soon — can you tell Rosemary?”

  “Sure.” Shelby hitched herself onto the stoop and entered the house.

  Katy grabbed Rocky’s bridle and led him to the barn. As she began to release the riggings from his head, Dad came out of the room where the milk tank was stored.

  “Oh, Katy-girl, I’m glad you’re home. I need to talk to you.”

 

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