“Baby, I’ve been working on this for a while, and I thought today would be a fitting day to give it to you. I could never say it enough, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying. I became a blessed man the day you walked into my life, and every day since then just further solidifies the fact that you’re the only woman for me, the only one I’ll ever love. I could never match the gift you’ve given me in Sprout. I love you more than anything.”
His words caused me to choke up, and when he handed me the box, apprehension washed over me. It was too big to be a ring box, and I was thankful for it. I don’t think I could’ve handled a proposal at the baby shower, regardless of if I had met Tara or not.
He grinned at me as I slowly opened the wrapping paper, and with him watching, I made sure to take my time. My breath caught when I lifted the top of the box. Inside was a gorgeous white-gold bracelet with several charms dangling from it. Lifting it out of the box, I held it up for closer inspection. As I looked over each of the charms, I smiled at the memories they brought forth. The charms included a ruler, a keyboard, a heart, and lastly, a little leaf. I didn’t hesitate to lean over and give Kale a kiss on the lips.
“They’re perfect,” I whispered, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard.
“I’m glad. I can’t wait to add more in the future,” he whispered back, his eyes pleading with mine, wanting confirmation that everything will be okay.
He let out a sigh of relief when I gave him a brief nod before handing him the bracelet so he could put it on for me. The girls all moved in to fawn over it, and Charlie gave me a wicked smile when she saw the ruler, knowing exactly the meaning behind it.
After that, the guys all helped Kale load the car with everything the baby was gifted today while I sat back and chatting with the women. Even after the disaster of the morning and the emotional turmoil I was trying to keep at bay, I had a great time with our friends and blended family. She may have tried, but there was no way I was going to let Tara ruin my day.
After saying goodbye to Jace, Lexi, Knox, and Charlie as they left to head to Jace’s parents’, ready to spend the next few days on the beach, I decide to sneak a moment away for myself. Mom and Ginger are looking through childhood photos of Kale while Kalli and Marisa entertain Lily. Steve, Kale, and Xavier are engrossed in a baseball game, so I grab a bottle of water and quietly slide the back door open, making my escape. Slipping my flats off, I make my way down the steps and enjoy the feel of the sand between my toes. Using the moonlight to guide my way, I walk towards the shore and plant myself in the sand, just out of the water’s reach.
The sound of the rolling waves is soothing. Although I have a million thoughts in my mind, I allow the calming noise to relax me, so much so that my mind becomes blank, and I welcome the peace. Leaning back on my palms, I close my eyes, and the peace is short-lived as her words seep in through the back of my mind.
“It only took you three days to propose to me.”
Looking around, I find that there’s nothing but me and the moon, and for the first time today, I take advantage of my solitude by finally allowing myself to shed the tears I’ve been holding in all day. I sit up and cross my legs, wrapping my arms around my belly as the sobs silently rack through me. I don’t know exactly what it is I’m crying for, but once the tears start falling, they come in spades. As I hold on to my stomach, I realize that part of what I’m doing is grieving for Kale’s unborn child, and I wonder if he’s ever done so. Without even having met him, I couldn’t imagine a world without Sprout. Or at least the idea that he’ll be here soon. What exactly has Kale been keeping from me, and after so many opportunities, why did he continue to do so? As I try to search my brain for answers, I feel a presence beside me. I’m quick to use to my sleeve to wipe my eyes before looking to see who’s joined me.
Expecting to see Kale or maybe Marisa, I’m surprised when Kaylie sits down next to me, a beer in her hand. “You look like you could use one of these right about now,” she says, breaking the silence.
“I feel like I could use about ten,” I confess, giving a small laugh as my hands spread out across my belly. “But fingers crossed, this guy has about twenty-one more years before he gets introduced to alcohol, so I’m stuck with my water.”
“Wanna talk about it?” she offers, and I’m kind of surprised. Kalli’s always been the open, friendly sister, while Kaylie’s always been much more reserved. “I know I don’t come across as the most sensitive person, but with a sister like Kalli, I have a pretty good listening ear.”
Sighing, I pick at the sand next to my foot, not sure that Kaylie’s the person for me to talk to about this. At the same time, I realize she may be able to give me some insight. After taking a long swig of my water, I stare out at the black waves of the ocean and decide to let it all out.
“I met Tara today.” She lets out a low whistle. “The thing is, I had no idea there was a Tara before today.”
“That fucking idiot,” I hear Kaylie mutter under her breath. I turn to look at her, and she just shrugs. “That must’ve been quite a shock.”
“That’s an understatement. At first I thought I was just meeting the nice woman who made my baby shower cake, and then seconds later, I felt like I was being blindsided by a woman who claimed to have once been engaged to Kale. And…I just don’t know. She said some other things that have my mind working in overdrive, and I just don’t know what to think anymore. Kale’s had a year and a half, or at least eight months, to tell me about it, and I had to find out from her? And on top of that, I don’t even know what exactly I found out.”
“Look, I know I acted cool at Thanksgiving, and I want you to know it had nothing to do with you and more to do with worrying about Kale. I was there for him after everything happened with Tara, and to say he was a mess is an understatement. None of us ever thought he’d settle down again until he brought you home. And I was scared for him. But while it’s not my place to talk about what happened, I can assure you one thing. You’re no Tara.”
“Yeah, but here’s the thing. I don’t even know what that means. She could’ve been the love of his life, the one he let get away, and hearing that I’m not her? It’s not exactly reassuring.”
A low chuckle escapes her lips. “My brother really is an idiot. I don’t know why Kale didn’t tell you about Tara, but my guess is it’s because he didn’t want her toxicity to infect your relationship. That’s who Tara is. She’s a toxic human being who hurts everyone she claims to love. I, for one, am glad she’s been out of Kale’s life for a very long time.” She pauses as she brings the beer bottle to her lips. “And let me tell you, Lucy. I know my brother, and he looks at you in a way he never looked at her. That right there is what scared me at Thanksgiving. I knew how torn apart he was with what happened with Tara, but I knew deep down in my soul that if he ever lost you, the devastation would be beyond repair.”
I find solace in her words, even if they do bring on more questions than answers. Something about the way she holds her brother in high regard has me trusting her, even if it still hurts being kept in the dark.
“And what about now? Do you think he’ll ever let me all the way in?” I hold my breath in anticipation of her answer.
“That’s something you’re going to have to ask him. But I promise you, if Kale kept it from you, he had his reasons. Just trust that he loves you, and he loves that little guy, too.”
Before I can respond, she stands up and holds a hand out to me. “If you’re all cried out, let’s head back up before they send out a search party. Frankly, I’m already surprised Kale hasn’t come looking for you. He’s barely let you out of his sight since you’ve been here.”
Complying, I allow her to pull me up before I brush the sand off the back of my dress, knowing that Kale’s probably just trying to give me space. As I follow her up to the house, apprehension begins to creep in at finally having to be alone with Kale. For the first time since I met him, I have no idea what to expect.
I’M ABOUT to go seek out Lucy when I see her and Kaylie enter from the back deck. Lucy promptly goes to the family room, where Mom and Marcy are presumably still sharing embarrassing baby photos. Kaylie plops down on the couch next to me, handing me another beer.
“I’m happy for you, you know,” she says, surprising me. I know she was wary about Lucy in the beginning, something that stems from the aftermath of Hurricane Tara, and being that this is only the second time she’s interacted with her, I didn’t think she’d approve so quickly.
“Thanks, Kaylie. That means a lot coming from you.”
“That being said, you’re a fucking idiot.”
I hear Xavier cough back a laugh and I turn to glare at him. He just raises his beer to Kaylie, who toasts hers back in his direction.
“Don’t mess this one up, Kale. You’ll never find someone who’s more perfect for you than that girl. You need to put the past in the past and get over it once and for all.”
Looking around the room, I’m thankful Steve retired for the night. Having Xavier and Kaylie gang up on me is last thing I want my child’s grandfather to witness.
“Well, I called Tara a cunt this afternoon. That was pretty therapeutic.”
Kaylie stares at me with wide eyes. “You didn’t,” she challenges.
“I absolutely did. I’m not proud of it, but the way she was trying to rile up Lucy made my blood boil, and it just came out.” Kaylie gives me an approving smile, and I continue. “As much as I love Lily, I was wrong to think that raising her could take away all the pain of what I lost. And I may not have known it at the time, but I started healing the day I met Lucy. Something about her vibrant spirit spoke to me on a deeper level and hooked me long before I even knew she’d taken hold. For the first time in forever, I wanted more, and I want it with her. I think part of why I haven’t wanted to talk about Tara is because I’m finally moving past it and I didn’t want her tainting what Lucy and I have.”
“I kind of get your logic because you’re a guy, after all, but that seriously is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If you’re truly one hundred percent over it, then you talk about it and move on.”
“When the hell did you get so smart in the ways of relationships?” I ask, and Kaylie just grins at me.
“Watching Kalli over the years has given me more life lessons than any psychobabble textbook ever could. For example, did you know she’s got a thing for our buddy Xavier here?” This time when Xavier makes a coughing noise, it’s because he’s actually choking on his beer, his eyes wide as he looks at Kaylie. “See, he even gets choked up just thinking about it. Perhaps it’s not unrequited love after all.”
“You’re outta your freakin’ mind, Kaylie. I’ve known her since she was sixteen. She’s like a little sister to me,” he protests, giving her a scowl.
Kaylie tilts her head and grins at me. “I don’t know, Kale. The soldier doth protest too much,” she teases, cocking an eyebrow up at him.
As they continue to argue back and forth, I get up and go in search of Lucy. Disappointment floods over me when I learn that she’s gone to bed. Slowly, I climb the steps, unsure of what awaits me in my bedroom. As I open the door, I see that Lucy’s already nestled under the covers, and I quickly get undressed and slide in behind her. She doesn’t move as I cuddle up behind her, bringing my hand to its natural resting place.
I lie there in silence, listening to the sound of her breathing. Apprehension slowly seeps in over me as I wish I knew what she was thinking. She surprises me when she settles back in to me.
“It was a great shower. Thank you so much for surprising me with all of our friends. It meant a lot to have them all here today. And for the bracelet. It’s perfect.”
Blinking a few times, I register what she’s saying, surprised at how calm she sounds after everything. “Of course, baby. It wouldn’t have been as special without them. And I’m glad you like it. It took me forever to find the perfect charms.”
“Well, you did a pretty damn good job.”
Pressing my hand against her belly, I nuzzle into her hair, giving her a soft kiss. “Lucy Dawson, isn’t there a rule about swearing around the baby?” I scold playfully.
“By the time this kid starts talking, we’re probably going to have to start swear jar,” she teases. “Hey, Kale?”
“Yeah, baby?” I ask, my eyes closing as I enjoy the feel of her skin pressed up against mine.
“Do you want to talk?” she asks timidly, almost sounding unsure of herself.
I should say yes. I know I should, but she just got done saying that the shower was great and the last thing I want to do is talking about this in the dark, in my mom’s house, with all our family downstairs.
“We’ll talk, I promise. But not tonight. It’s been a long day, and tomorrow’s going to be even longer. You need to get some rest before the car ride home.”
She lets out a deep sigh. “Okay, Kale. I understand. You’re probably right. Why ruin what turned out to be a good day? Let’s get some sleep.”
I can hear the disappointment in her voice, but I don’t change my mind. Leaning in, I place a kiss on her cheek and hope that once I finally let it all out I’m not too late.
AFTER SAYING goodbye to our families, we head to the car with two stowaways Lucy wasn’t expecting. I forgot that Xavier and Lily only had one-way tickets, so they are hitching a ride home with us. Even though he tries to resist, Lucy insists that Xavier have the front seat, and she scrunches in the back with Lily, who only protests three of the six times we stop so Lucy can get out and stretch. Lucy’s utterly silent the entire way home, and I don’t miss the way she stares out the window the whole time.
By the time I drop off Xavier and Lily, Lucy looks like she’s about to pass out. Once we get home, I shuffle her inside and then go back out to grab our bags and the gifts from the shower. It takes me three trips, and I sigh with relief when I’m finally done.
Leaning against the back of the door, I close my eyes, wishing I could forget what happened this weekend. When I head back into the bedroom, I realize that Lucy’s lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I frown, knowing that this quick weekend trip was probably too exhausting for her. I should’ve told Kalli no from the beginning.
“Hey baby, why don’t I draw you a bath so you can soak while I get something for dinner?”
She turns her head and looks up at me, nodding. I head into the bathroom to get it ready for her, and when I go into the bedroom, she allows me, without a word, to lead her to the tub, where I slowly undress her. I hold her steady as she steps into the lukewarm water, and she braces against my arm as she sinks down. Kneeling down beside her, I make sure that all of her products are within arm’s reach. I place a slow, lingering kiss on her lips as my fingers caress her belly before I pull back to leave her alone for her bath.
“Let me know when you’re ready to get out and then I’ll feed you.”
“Okay,” she replies softly, almost a whisper, and I can hear the exhaustion in her voice.
Making my way out to the kitchen, I whip up a couple of omelets then head back to check on Lucy, who’s right in the middle of rinsing out her hair. I sit on the edge of the tub and watch as she finishes.
“I’m ready,” she tells me, and I lean down to pull the plug so the water can drain.
Grabbing a towel, I gently rub her arms then wrap it around her shoulders before she grabs ahold of my hands so I can help her up. She stands stock-still in the tub as I tenderly rub her down, a routine we’ve fallen into the further along she’s gotten in her pregnancy. Once in the bedroom, she slips on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties while I towel dry her hair and then brush it out for her.
Taking hold of her hand, I lead her out to the kitchen, where I watch as she wolfs down her food.
“You ready for bed, baby?” I ask, and she shakes her head.
“No, I’m fine. I slept plenty in the car,” she replies, moving into the living room and settling on
the sofa.
I follow her and sit beside her as she flips through the television stations. She finally decides to stop on some country music awards show and we mindlessly watch the various performers intermixed with the awards. Every time I try to work up the nerve to start the conversation, her eyes light up at the latest musician on the screen. I know I need to just come right out and start, but as soon as I think I have the right words in my head, they slip right off the tip of my tongue. I don’t miss the way she glances at me during commercials, and I know what she’s waiting for.
Once again, I’m too fucking late, because before I know it, she’s yawning bracing herself against the couch as she rises slowly from it. “I tried to make it through the whole show, but I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.” She leans down and gives me a kiss. “I’ll see you in the morning. Love you.”
And just like that, Lucy’s out of the room, and once again, I berate myself for freezing up when I had the chance to make everything right. Instead of joining her, I sit on the couch and think about everything that happened this weekend. Calling Tara what I did was harsh, even if I think she deserved it. The thing is that I don’t know if I was more pissed at her or myself. It wasn’t her fault Lucy found out that way. All of that blame rests solely on me. The longer I put this off, the further I’m going to push her away. Tomorrow. Once and for all, I’m going to lay it all out on the line for her and deal with whatever repercussions there are. With a renewed sense of clarity, I turn off the television and join Lucy in the bedroom. She’s fast asleep, and as much as I want the comfort of her embrace, I slide into bed and let her be, knowing she needs her rest.
THE NEXT morning, I wake to the sounds of someone shuffling around the room. Slowly, I come out of my sleepy haze and turn over, blinking as my eyes adjust. Lucy’s at the closet slipping on flat sandals. She holds her back as she walks over to her side of the bed, where she grabs her phone and her keys. She whips around to look at me when the sheets rustle as I move to sit up.
Inflame (Explosive) Page 33