“When was the last time you slept with her?”
Her question stopped him dead in his tracks and he hung his head. “The night she showed up bruised.”
Anger took back over. “Before you had dinner with my family? That’s why you were running late!” She slapped at his chest.
He blocked her hand. “I’d just met you. And we were a business deal. She was broken, and I regretted it immediately.”
She couldn’t argue with that. Still, jealousy raged inside. Never had a man been all hers. She wanted Noah to herself. “How long had it been before that night?”
He gently cupped her face between his hands. “Months.” Hurt shined in his eyes.
“Then it was that night or it’s not yours.”
“Val, is it possible she could know after just two weeks?” He looked desperate for her to tell him no.
“It’s possible.”
He dropped his hands. “Damn.” The word came out with a gush of air.
“What are you going to do?” Pain laced his face and she ached to comfort him, but she wasn’t calm enough yet.
“Force her to pee on a stick to make sure she isn’t lying.”
“And if she’s not?”
“As long as there is a chance the baby’s mine, then I can’t walk away.”
She caressed his cheek. “I’d never ask you to abandon your child.”
“Val.” He grabbed her wrist. His mouth covered hers in a swift motion. Hungrily, he sought entrance with his tongue. Fire and passion poured from his lips and she burned from the flames.
Somewhere during his assault on her sanity, she realized he kissed her with a desperation he’d never shown before. She sensed a negative energy radiating from him.
He broke the kiss; both winded. “It means I can’t abandon Bambi either.”
“What?” She tugged free of his hold. “Not abandon her how?”
“She carries my child. I won’t let my baby be born with addiction, complications or mental handicaps if I can help it.”
“But Noah, you can’t control what she does.”
“I have to try. At least get her in rehab and work on things. I want to be a father. I’ve wanted that for a very long time. And a part of that job is to protect my child.”
“I understand how you feel. But how do you plan on accomplishing that?” After his shock, he wasn’t being rational. She took hold of his hand. “Baby, if you want to fight for full custody after the baby is born, I’ll stand by your side.”
“Do you know the damage she can do in nine months to an innocent child? She had champagne in her glass tonight for Christ sakes.” He started to pace again. “I can’t take chances with my child. She doesn’t even have a place to live. Until I can get her into rehab, I’ll have to move her back in with me.”
“I see.” Where had all that passion come from? He hadn’t shared his desire to have kids with her. Why should he have? They’d only begun a relationship. There were so many things about him she didn’t know.
One thing was sure. This time the good guy had broken her heart.
She gathered her gown up and walked away.
“Don’t go like this.” Noah rushed beside her. “I feel horrible. Let me give you a ride home.”
“Stop.” She held her hand up to halt him from getting any closer. “You can’t always play the nice guy. You chose her. So go take care of her and let me take care of myself.” She rummaged through her purse, scribbled out a check and tossed it at him.
“Damn it, Val, I don’t want that.”
“What do you want?” She waited for him for say he wanted her; only her. Maybe she could hang on a few days until Bambi was in rehab. It would be hard having that woman and Tyler in her life, but she’d give it a try if he would just ask. “Noah?”
He swallowed so hard she saw his Adam’s Apple bob.
Silence ticked in her ears. “The job’s done and I’ve paid you in full. You’re released from our arrangement.” She hailed a cab sitting in front of the hotel. “6245 Oakwood Drive, please.” The click of her seatbelt barely sounded before the first teardrop slid down her cheek. Bad guy. Good guy. They were all the same. Unfaithful. Untrustworthy. Undeserving.
She pulled her legs underneath her and let the tears flow. Her plans had worked. Flaunt the guy in front of her family and friends. Have a big fight and break up. She hadn’t factored in a broken heart; didn’t think she needed to. Oh, how she’d miscalculated the cost of her revenge.
Chapter 14
Judith ascended the long winding staircase. The echo of her heels clicking on marble rang in her ears and mimicked the beat of her heart. These trips to visit her father were never pleasant. They were more of a cross to bear than anything else.
She stood at the top of the stairs and took a deep breath, steadying herself for the criticism undoubtedly about to be hurled at her. Nothing she’d ever done was enough. Nothing would ever be enough. Without a penis, she was second-class in her father’s eyes. It didn’t matter she was the best damn salesperson he’d ever had. The best marketing and advertising executive. The best in every position she’d ever worked in.
Walking down the long hall, family portraits of past patriarchs seemed to mock her. Ridiculous. I’m better than any of you at my job and none of you have the balls that I do.
The huge Richardson Romanesque house had been built by her great-grandfather, Lukas Zimmermann. A first generation American, his parents had emigrated from Germany. He was the only one she felt akin to.
She spotted his picture. It was the same as the one hanging in her office at Zimmerman’s Furniture Manufacturing. As CEO of the family factory Lukas had started over a hundred years ago with his elegant designs, she’d made quite a small fortune. But it was nothing compared to what her old man Harald’s auto parts factory totaled.
Lukas’ smiling blue eyes gave her an increased measure of strength to face the cold empty ones waiting behind the massive oak double doors. Head high and shoulders square, she pushed the doors open and entered the master suite.
The huge four-poster mahogany bed in the middle of the suite only took up a fraction of the room. And the old man laying in it seemed to shrink each month. His hair had whitened years ago, but now it looked thin and wild, sticking up in all directions. Cold, sunken eyes rested in a face hollowed by time. The stout frame of his glory days had deserted him long ago, leaving behind a sick man taken to his death-bed.
She forced her feet to move her unwilling body until she reached the leather high-backed chair next to the bed. His nurse stood next to him taking vitals and scribbling them down in her father’s chart.
“How is he?”
“I’m not dead, if that’s what you’re asking.”
His brash tone and words hadn’t been altered the way his physical shape had. She repressed the urge to roll her eyes as if she were a teen again. “I know Dad, I was just—”
“My hearing’s fine. You want to know if you still have time to produce me an heir.” He coughed, and his nurse jumped to help him through his fit. Waving his arms, he pushed the young woman away. “Leave me be. I’m fine. Hell, one cough and you’d think I’d died.”
“Dad—”
“Hush up now. You’ve seen with your eyes I’m still kicking. So go on and get out of here. Come back when you’re holding my great-grandson. Then I’ll be able to pass easy.” He waved the nurse back to shift his pillows and sit him up a bit. “Those girls of yours knocked up yet?”
She forced down the lump that had formed in her throat. “No, sir.”
“Erin went and got herself married. I’m expecting grandbabies from her anytime now. But the proposition still stands. I’d rather the heir come from your blood than hers. She never was very bright.”
“Valerie is engaged. She’s got herself a real fine man this time. She says he’s a mechanic.”
“Well, there’s some good news for a change. But how much longer do I need to hang on for?”
“Don’t t
alk like that. You’re going to live for a long time.” Though she didn’t know how much more of his crap she could take.
“Don’t lie to me, stupid woman. I know you want your hands on my company. Always have. I put you in charge of the furniture heap. You’re set for life with that company. Damn it to hell, if you didn’t triple the profits, but you always were like your ole man.”
Bile rose in her throat. She didn’t want to be anything like him. But she knew more of his blood ran through her veins than her mother’s; God rest her soul. Shifting in her seat, she fought to regain her composure. “Dad, I can run the auto parts factory and do the same for it as I did for Zimmerman’s.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” He shook his finger at her. “I’m not dimwitted.” He poked at his chest. “I made that company what it is. I took the idea from that bastard and grew it from a heap of shit. That old fucker isn’t going to laugh at me in the afterlife. So help me God. I’ll show him.”
His eyes grew wild and colder than she’d ever seen before. Colder than all the times he’d beat her with a leather strap.
“Mr. Zimmerman, calm down please. You don’t want to bring on an episode now, do you? Not when you have a guest.”
His nurse tried to settle him down, but he’d have none of it. Just like the SOB to throw a fit up until the end.
“Shut up, wench. I don’t need you meddling in how I raise my son.”
The young aid rushed from the room.
“Dad?” What was he talking about?
“You hush up, Harald! You’ll show me respect, you sniffling little mamma’s boy. I’m going make you into a man. It’s time you get off your momma’s tit and toughen up.” He smacked the bed with the back of his hand.
She sat silent in shock as he relived his childhood. Her mother said Harald had a hard childhood, but she’d never known anything more. Now she intended to learn all she could.
“Women will soften you, boy, if you let them. Keep them in the bedroom and kitchen, but don’t let them in your business. Spiritless and witless, the whole lot of them. Ain’t good for more than ruttin’ and bearin’ sons.” He grabbed a pillow and squeezed. “You hear me, boy?”
Before he said anything else, the nurse rushed back in with two large men from the staff. Judith stood and stepped back to give them more room. The men held her father down while the nurse gave him a shot.
After a few minutes, he settled down and drifted to sleep.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, Ms. Judith. His episodes have been coming on more frequently these days.”
“Don’t worry about it.” She grabbed her purse. “Just make sure he rests well. I’ll be back next month. Call me if anything happens between now and then.”
Walking away from her father, she carried a better understanding of him. In some ways she sensed he was proud of her. But he had a yearning deep inside to have his father’s approval. That she could understand.
He wanted a grandson. She wanted his company. Somehow, she had to get one of her girls pregnant. Fast.
* * * *
Three weeks had passed since the reunion, and Noah didn’t know if he could handle another day with Bambi. He’d called every rehab facility within two hundred miles and they were all full with a long wait. He’d put her name on every list. One facility had been nice enough to give him a directory of group meetings while they waited for an open bed.
Dragging her kicking and whining, he’d forced her to go to every meeting within a half-an-hour drive. Still, she refused to talk and laughed at the people trying to open up. She’d embarrassed him to groups, hospital staff and even family members. Her behavior was one of a teenager rebelling. She didn’t want to stop using, and his patience ran low.
He needed advice from someone impartial, someone who wouldn’t judge him or steer him wrong. After a night of drinking and crying in his beer about Val, he’d thought about the night they’d met. The black-haired gypsy had surfaced to mind. Now, he stood in front of her small cottage, gathering the nerve to seek her services.
He entered the yellow block house into a dimly lit room that appeared to be a store. Shelves held books, candles, tarot card decks and Ouija boards. Spotting the short counter, he made his way to it and dinged the silver bell.
The black haired medium he remembered as Wanda came out from a side room.
“Ah, yes, the handsome man from speed dating.” She winked. “I had a feeling you’d show up sooner or later. How can I be of service?”
“I’d like a reading,” he blurted it out before cold feet set in and he bought a candle instead.
She nodded once. “Follow me.”
Back through the door she’d appeared from, he obeyed and followed. It was a quaint room, decorated in yellow and blue hues, stripes and floral patterns and wood and glass materials. A couch ran the length of one wall and a small, round table sat in the center of the room with a braided rug underneath. Every square inch of wall was covered with antique pictures, kitchen gadgets and anything else you could purchase at a flea market and hang on the wall. Bookshelves overflowed with romance novels. A couple of small tables held vases with fresh flowers and the sweet scent filled the air.
She laughed. “The look on your face is priceless. I bet you thought the room would be dark with incense burning.” She wiggled her fingers through the air. “Beads flowing from the ceiling. Maybe even a crystal ball.” She raised a brow. “Am I right?”
Relaxing a little, he joined her in laughter. “Maybe.”
“I sensed you were here for answers, not the whole stereotype experience or entertainment. This room helps me to clear my head and receive your energy stronger. But if you’d like, I do have another room with all the works.”
“No.” He shook his head. “This is better.”
Her long, purple flowing skirt swished as she grabbed tarot cards from an end table. “Have a seat.” She sat down and handed the cards to him. “While you shuffle the deck, think about what you need answered. When you’re done, cut the deck and hand it back to me.”
The past month and a half crossed through his mind. Being with Val had been the happiest time in his life. Without her, he was miserable. His heart belonged to her. There was no denying it. Yet, he yearned for a child to hold and he couldn’t turn his back on an innocent babe. Bambi was never going to change. Why had he let Val walk away? But would Val still want him if Bambi and the child they’d conceived occupied part of his time? Could she look at the child of the woman who had slept with her fiancé? Not that she loved Tyler anymore, but still, the thought would be in the back of her mind. Was it possible to have Val and his child in his life? Too many questions swirled through his head.
He handed Wanda the cards.
“You have a lot on your mind. I’m going to arrange the cards in a layout called The Celtic Cross. It should give you a little more in-depth reading.” She laid the cards face up before him.
The pictures enticed and alarmed him at the same time. Swords and cups. A man hanging and a beautiful woman. Those two cards alone summed up his life. Beautiful women had been the death of him many times.
“The first card, the Hanged Man, is the present. He takes one step forward and two steps back, putting self-interest aside.”
Whoa! That card was dead on.
“Your immediate challenge is represented by the Ten of Swords. You’re playing the martyr and sacrificing your wants. In your distant past I see motherhood, shown by the Empress.” She raised her brows.
Sweat began to bead on his forehead and his heart raced. He didn’t want to go back there. Not now. He had too many things occupying his thoughts to drag up old pains. “What else?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Recently.” Her tone dropped a couple octaves. “Lies and deceit.”
Well, ironically, those words rang true. His relationship with Val had been one lie after another. Of course, she hadn’t lied to him, just her family.
“The fifth position symbolizes the best outc
ome.”
He sighed and shifted his feet, nervous about what the card would show.
“Relax; the Nine of Cups symbolizes happiness and having your wish fulfilled.”
Well, he’d always wished to be a father. Emily melted his heart when she was around. A baby girl would be nice to play with his niece. He smiled.
Her brows dipped again and she frowned. “But with the Three of Swords looming in your immediate future, you’ll have to go through some rough times first; betrayal, separation and heartache.”
Great! What the fuck was Bambi going to do now?
“You’re affecting the situation by fear and deceiving yourself. Outside influences include regrets and mistakes. You lack faith and you’re allowing yourself to be controlled.” She sighed and leaned forward. “The last card is the final outcome, Judgment.”
Sweat trickled down his temple. So far, the cards had pegged his life. Could he trust in them about the future? Did he even want to know? Yes. Good or bad, he couldn’t live any longer with the uncertainty plaguing his life now. “Go on.”
“You have to make hard choices.”
“Is that all?” He leaned back against his chair. “Is everything going to work out or am I going to be miserable forever?”
“There are a lot of arcane cards here, which generally means a very strong and urgent message.”
“Can you explain that to me in plain English?”
Silence filled the space between them as she gathered the cards. Finally, she spoke. “I get the sense that you’ll be placed in an uncomfortable situation. Your instinct will lead you one way and your heart another.”
“What should I do?”
“I can’t tell you that. You have to make your own choices. The cards are not set in stone. But just a lesson from someone more experienced, life can be a long sentence if you’re trapped and miserable.”
He wasn’t the medium, but he picked up on the vibe that she wouldn’t say anything else. Without another word, he paid her and left.
The reading was clear about his past and present. Too clear. He had a hard choice to make ahead of him. Problem was…he feared he would have to choose between his unborn child and Val.
0-69 in 5 Minutes Page 13