by Lovell, Dani
~~~~~~~
It's three minutes to ten and I'm hovering in the lounge in my new, soft, pastel pink sundress and sandals, waiting for Oliver and Stupid Stacy. Okay, okay, that's mean, just 'Stacy' from now on.
I stroll back and forth, running my fingers along the fabulous granite of the spotless breakfast bar as I wait, excitedly, desperate to see the tiny nose on that gorgeous, wrinkly little baby again. Oh hurry up, you two, I want to see Emily!
The door opens and I spin around as Oliver pokes his head out. "Sorry, darling, meet you downstairs, okay?" Oh for god’s sake, they're going to make us late!
"Oh... okay, I'll see you there - but try to be quick because they'll be waiting in the car for us..."
"Yeah - be as quick as poss..." he says with a wink before slamming the door again, almost taking off his nose. I wonder what that's all about?
I make my way to the front door and out of the apartment, smiling as I walk down the modern 'W' hallway towards the lifts. Not long now and I'll be holding that gorgeous bundle of scrumptiousness in my arms. I'm not sure how long I'm going to cope without having one of my own, I am so broody, it's all I can think about. I'm sure it seems so pressing right now because my best friend has just had one and my other best friend is on her way to having one, but I just can't see it happening for me and I have wanted it so badly, for a long time.
It frustrates me that I have to go through all of the bloody rigmarole first, meet a guy who is actually compatible with me - easier said than done, twenty-eight years and it hasn't happened yet. Then I have to date them, start having sex with them, after a while - meet the folks, after a much longer while - leave a toothbrush at his place, a good year or so later - move in together, another year or so later - get engaged, another year or so - get married and THEN start thinking about babies. Good god, what if it takes me yet another twenty-five to thirty years to find Mr. Compatible? The only eggs I'll have to talk about will be poached and sitting on lightly buttered toast.
A few minutes later, I'm opening the door to Bea and Daniel's car and climbing in.
"Hi, darling... where's Olly and Stacy?" Bea asks immediately.
"Ugh, making us late. He said they'd be down in a minute - no idea what was going on. Maybe Stacy is having wardrobe issues..."
"You mean personality issues? Hey, Clare," Daniel says, making me giggle loudly. I've never heard him bitch about anyone before - until Stacy came on the scene. I'm glad it's not just me, but even more so - that it's not just a girl thing and the boys can see it too. Boys rarely see the cow in a girl - no matter how blatantly she's parading it, but Stacy must have an extra special type of cow in her that even boys can detect.
"Hi Daniel, you might be right there," I say feeling very naughty for having agreed with such a cheeky comment. "Hopefully they'll be down any minute now, I'll be cross if we're late, I'm really looking forward to seeing Tils and Luke. Oh, and beautiful Emily..." I add with a little swoon. I love her so much already and it has only been a day!
"Oh I know, I can't wait!" Bea says, bouncing in her seat. "Oh come on Olly and Stacy, what are you doing up there? Ew, I don't want to know, actually..."
I giggle, "Actually, I'm not sure that is what's going on - he definitely had clothes on when he poked his head out of the door a few minutes ago. Stacy wasn't a very happy bunny this morning, maybe they're having a barny..."
"Another one?" she asks, exasperated, "They haven't stopped having barnies since they met! Honestly, what is he doing with her?"
"Well, Bea, don't forget that things are different behind closed doors, there must be something appealing about her personality. Oliver isn't stupid and he certainly isn't a doormat. She just doesn't like us very much."
"I know, but he's my brother, I can't help but feel that way. And if she can be so easily rude to his friends and family, she just doesn't have the respect for him that he deserves."
I nod and look down at my bag on my lap, thinking about what she said. She's so right, maybe Oliver will see that some day, he deserves someone who loves every tiny thing about him, from his great family to his hairy boy-feet. Actually, his feet aren't bad - quite nice in fact, masculine and not at all ugly like most men's feet, even the hair is good. Stop it.
"Here's Oliver..." Daniel says as I hear the door next to me open and I look up to see Oliver slide in.
"Sorry about that, I got a bit caught up..." he says, "morning everyone."
Bea and Daniel greet him in response and Bea asks how long Stacy is going to be.
"Stace isn't coming, she's uh... a bit tired."
A strong feeling of relief washes over me; another day without her is a good thing in my book, I can relax and have fun with my friends without her making everything sour. "Oh really? That's a shame," I say trying my hardest to sound genuine. Oliver just looks at me with a cute (gorgeous and sexy) smile and a raised eyebrow. He knows.
"Why not?" Bea asks, "Is she going to do anything with us? I really don't see why she bothered coming on this holiday apart from to cost you money and make your life difficult, Oliver."
"Baby, let it go." Daniel says as he reaches over and rests his hand on top of hers, supportively before signalling and pulling into the road. He must be thinking the same as me; Oliver has had a rough morning already.
I look up at him and he rolls his eyes, smiling. I feel bad for him; he's getting it in the ear from Stroppy Stacy... um, I mean Stacy, and everyone else because of her. I really want to know what makes him stay; he has such a great life, he doesn't need anyone, so why her?
Most people would wonder if it's the sex but I know Oliver and there's just no way he'd stay with someone purely because she's good in the sack. He - like me, enjoys substance - personality, a bit of a brain, sense of humour, goals, a cheery disposition. Maybe he should write these things down on paper and send it up the chimney in the hope that Miss Practically Perfect in Every Way will float down on a cloud with a carpet bag and talking umbrella. If he wants that of course, he might want to stay with the witch... uh, I mean Stacy -forever. God, I hope not.
We're quiet for a short while before Oliver breaks the silence. "So what's the plan? We're going for breakfast and then just chilling at their house all day?"
"Yeah," Bea answers, "we'll go to that place at The Grove for breakfast and then go on to Tilly and Luke's house. I'll make something for lunch so Til doesn't have to do anything."
"Okay cool," he responds, "maybe we can all go for dinner on the way back?"
Bea turns around in her seat and looks at Oliver. "That sounds great, but what about Stacy? Don't you need to get back to her?"
"Look, I've done enough of that, if she doesn't want to join us then she has to accept that the day will go ahead without her. I don't want to stop us doing what we would normally do, by having to go back early all the time. I have told her she should come with us and she wouldn't, that's up to her."
Bea smiles sympathetically and pauses for a moment before continuing very softly. "Olly, please don't think I'm being a cow, but I hate that you're having to placate her all the time. Why do you put up with it? You never have with anyone else..."
I look at Oliver again and my stomach lurches, he looks awkward and uncomfortable, I feel so sorry for him. I don't want Bea to question him anymore.
"Bea... can we not do this now? I appreciate your concern and everything, I really do, but just leave it for now, yeah?"
She looks at him with a concerned frown and nods reluctantly. "Okay, but just know, if this continues, I won't be able to stop myself from saying something."
Oliver rolls his eyes again and smiles at his sister, "Okay, BB."
She turns to face front again and I offer a small smile to Oliver and gently run my hand up and down his forearm, unable to resist this uncontrollable urge to comfort him. He returns my smile and nods in appreciation. I could go a step further and lean over and squeeze him tightly in my arms, but I don't think it would be appropriate - he would probably wonder what the h
ell has gotten into me.
CHAPTER TWO
SATURDAY 15TH JUNE (CONT.)
After the most delicious breakfast in the world, we make our way to Tilly and Luke's house and I am practically peeing myself to see this gorgeous nearly-niece of mine.
As we near the front door of their fabulous house, Bea and I race the final few steps, laughing as we try to shove each other out of the way to get there first.
"I win!" Bea shouts as she collides with the front door, hitting the bell as she does.
We laugh hysterically until the door opens, bringing us to an immediate, abrupt halt at the sight of a gorgeous, enormous daddy holding his tiny, beautiful, flawless baby Emily.
My hand automatically covers my mouth, I completely ignore everyone else around me, forgetting that I am on a doorstep and I just stand, staring at her little face. My chest hurts, I need my own one of these to love and obsess over so I don't have to keep turning into a lunatic every time I see this one.
"Uh... Clare? Could we maybe... um, maybe get inside the house?" Oliver says as he steps close and puts a hand on the small of my back to slowly manoeuvre me into the hallway.
"Oh, but... I..." I stutter, pointing at the baby as I'm moved away from her, my eyes never leaving her face.
"Darling, let's just sit down first, yes?" he says softly and I snap out of my trance, only to become quickly lost in another as he puts an arm around me and walks me in front of the others to the lounge area. I know we all call each other darling from time to time, but when Oliver calls me it, I get a feeling of togetherness... a closeness to him that no one else has... only they do. Stacy has that. Not me.
As I try to snap myself out of this one, Luke calls over for me to make myself comfy and he'll bring the baby to me for a cuddle. Okay, I'm sorry Oliver but my 'you-induced' trance is temporarily over - I have a baby to hold!
I take off my sandals and make myself comfy on the end seat of the sofa, sitting on my feet. Oliver sits next to me, grinning. I know I must look crazy right now, but I'm so excited!
Luke arrives and slowly lowers her into my arms, her tiny head nestled in the crook of my arm. I gaze at her beautiful face and run the pad of my forefinger gently down the bridge of her dinky nose and softly touch her little chin. I've never seen anything more bewitching than this in my life.
I vaguely sense Oliver leaning over to have a look at her curled in my arms but I'm a little preoccupied with the baby to take much notice. She's a soft weight, an addictive, weeny little cuddle-munchkin that feels so at home in my arms. If I was a bit of a psycho, I would have to tell my friends that I'm sorry, they just can't have her back, but in real life - I'm not that crazy, so will have to find a way to part with my new favourite thing in the whole wide world and think about finding a man to give me my own one.
"Look how her mouth pouts a little bit when she exhales..." Oliver says, quietly, and I look at his face right next to mine to see the huge grin he's wearing. "Look..." he says, nodding towards the baby. I turn to look and smile at his observation, her mouth does pout when she exhales and it's super sweet!
"Oh that's so cute..." I whisper, fixing my attention back on her face whilst thinking how adorable it is that Oliver is so interested.
"What is?" Bea asks as she comes over to kneel on the floor by my feet and puts her forefinger in Emily's hand which she immediately grips and we all coo over it. I suddenly realise I haven't even said hello to Luke or Tilly.
"Hey, where's Til?"
"She's in the bathroom," Luke responds.
"Okay, sorry Luke, I didn't even say 'hello' to you."
"It's cool, you can be rude today, but that's it, if you do it again..." he says with a menacing look on his face and I giggle.
"I'm sorry, hi Luke."
He comes towards me and bends to kiss my cheek, "Hey Clare, looking hot today as always."
I smile uncomfortably, I always feel weird when people compliment me like that, so I ignore it and look down at the baby to hide my blush.
Bea and Daniel sit on the couch opposite us, Bea patiently waiting her turn with the baby. I can't give her up yet though, just a few more minutes. I want to inspect her, everything about her. I pick up a hand and look at her tiny nails, I look at her cute lashes, the little red blob in the centre of her top lip... god, she's just too gorgeous for words.
Oliver is still totally fixated also, he puts an arm around my shoulder and leans right in against me, his other hand resting lightly on Emily's tummy - it's bigger than she is. For a moment, I can't help but imagine that this is me and my baby-daddy, appreciating our newborn. It hurts so much that I have to snap out of it and remember that I don't have a baby-daddy, or more ideally, a boyfriend who could be the father of my child. My child... will I ever have one of those?
"Hey y'all!" Tilly cries out in a jovial, southern accent as she makes her way slowly from the bathroom into the living area to join us.
"Hi Til!" We greet together.
Luke immediately stands from his place next to Daniel to walk with her. "Okay, Princess?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks lover," she says as she sits slowly on the sofa by Daniel. "Sorry about that, it takes me about half an hour to do a wee, it's a killer! No one told me that weeing would sting like a mother-fucker." We all giggle, never one to hold back on the details, our Tilly. "Where's Stacy then, Ols? Come to your senses and dumped the bitch?"
"Tilly!" I cry, shocked at her bluntness, although I'm not sure why it shocks me, that's just how she is.
"What? Someone needs to say it." I look at Bea who is trying not to laugh.
"Don't hold back, Til, tell me what you really think," Oliver says, "she's back at the apartment."
"Let me guess, she didn't want to spend any more time with your 'fucking friends'?"
He pauses for a moment. "Something like that."
The room is quiet for a minute and I look at Oliver who is still pressed against me, playing with the baby's fingers. "You okay?" I whisper and he smiles at me.
"I'm fine, Clare, don't worry about it, I wouldn't expect anything less from Tilly," he says with a small laugh, "besides, Stacy is being a bit of a pain in the arse today."
"But that's not your fault."
"Yeah, I know. It's fine Clare, honestly." He leans down and kisses Emily's tiny hand before pulling back slightly and offering me a smile. "She's so tiny."
"I know! You look broody Olly..." I tease with a huge grin on my face, and his response really surprises me.
"I'd like one... yeah, why not?"
I pause briefly, staring at him. "Really? You want a baby?"
He sits a little further away so he can look at me. "Yeah... not right this minute of course but I'm getting older and I always wanted kids. This little creature only confirms that."
Oh bejesu. His sex appeal just increased massively. I knew he wanted kids but hearing him talk about it like that makes me weak at the knees. It's a good job I'm sitting down with this baby. But... oh. Please, please, please let him have one with someone other than her... she'd never let me anywhere near. "So.. um... would you... with..."
"Come on Clare, you can spit it out. Would I have a baby with Stacy?"
"What the fuck?" Tilly shouts out, "You better be kidding me, that whore-bag isn't pregnant with your baby is she?"
"Hey, now that's enough!" Oliver responds firmly. "You may not like a lot of the things she says and does, Til, but she is still my girlfriend and there's a limit to what you can and can't say. That's out of order."
Okay. So now I'm in an odd situation inside. One side of me hates that he just defended her like that. She is the biggest bitch I have ever met and he should know that... but the other side of me swoons just a little bit at this masculine protective thing he has going on. She may be the bitch from hell, but no one talks about the girl he's with like that and gets away with it.
"I have let a few comments pass about her because, yes, she can be rude and I have noticed this, but she's not a whore and I'd
appreciate it if you toned it down. Don't think I'm not addressing these issues with her in private."
"Okay, I'm sorry. I should keep quiet about my real opinions of her. I'll save that for when you're not around," she says with her cheeky Tilly smile and a wink that will always let her get away with murder.
Oliver rolls his eyes and sighs before leaning back in towards the baby. "So you gonna stop hogging and give someone else a go?" he asks me.
"Oh... do I have to?" I ask holding her close to me and bending to sniff her soft hair.
"Yes... gimme," he says, holding his arms out to take her. How the hell can I say no to that? Seeing this beautiful man with a beautiful child in his arms... I may have to excuse myself.
"Um, excuse me, brother... what are you playing at? I think I was next," Bea says.
"Wait your turn, Uncle Oliver first."
I grin and lean forwards to gently slip the baby into his embrace and watch as his hand immediately cups her tiny head. He sits back and rests his ankle up on his other knee like he's done this a million times. She grumbles a little and he slowly rocks her, holding her close to his chest until she relaxes back into her sleep.
He probably didn't realise that his wardrobe choice this morning would affect the comfort of the baby but he chose perfectly with a soft cotton t-shirt. I'd like to have my cheek pressed up against his big hard chest with that t-shirt under my skin, too... Focus, Clare.
I, on the other hand, spent a long time picking a dress that would be most comfortable for this new, fresh skin to be held against. Is it normal to think about these things? Am I obsessive? I think I am - I'm sure normal people don't spend a good half an hour debating with oneself whether 100% cotton would be that much softer than a linen mix, for the moment they hold a newborn baby.
"A natural..." Til says with a wink as she looks at me and nods in Oliver's direction. Ohh here we go, she's going to try to start playing cupid again. "Suits him, don't you think Clare?" She grins as Luke pulls her backwards and into his side, tightly, kissing the top of her head as he does. I'm so envious. Why can't someone love me that much?